Kelly's Burgers

I ended up here on a date with the biggest piece of shit asshole you would ever want to have sex with just because he's got nice arms and laughs a lot. Why, you might ask, do I have sex with these people on the first date anyway??!!! I don't fucking know. I've been doing that since I was sixteen years old, it didn't work then and it doesn't work now that I'm old but still lame enough to be taken out for dates to 'Kelly's Burgers'. Why does everything have to be such a goddamn fucking nightmare? Should I feel humiliated when I see this guy out with his girlfriend, or just laugh it off? Fuck. Oh, the burgers were good though.

I know of no better steak fries than the ones they serve up at Kelly's.

Good burgers and yummy cheesesteaks as well.

Who allowed this place to close? At least its immediate replacement failed horribly and swiftly. Serves them right for trying replace a wonderful establishment and for trying to make its airy openness into pseudo-mysterious darkness.

The veggie burger with the egg on top of it was delicious.

These are too good. Really. I mean it.

Not greasy.... Juicey.
Not small.... Just right.
Not expensive... Affordable.


I could go on and on. Here is the thing. I love burgers, I think it might be the perfect meal. Really. I mean that. This burger might just be as close to perfect as it gets.

DESCLAIMER:

I am always drunk when I eat here.

Since this place was a gutted out empty hole for about 10 years and the area desperately needed any kind of burger joint anyway, both needs have been filled nicely. Owned and run by one of the guys from Truly Mediterranean, the same focus on simple deliciousness has been maintained here. These aren't the greatest burgers in the world, but will definitely do until you find it.

Try the port wine cheeseburger. It's good.

I was at a point in my life that actively going out to eat a hamburger was already out of the question; I'm trying to eat healthy you know and besides why eat a burger when you can get a burrito?!

So, after making the bar hopping rounds on mission/valencia on a fine evening, my buddy from Indiana goes, "let's go to Kelly's!" I was not motivated to go, "C'mon man, there's a taqueria right there." But man oh man, was I surprised at the quality and flavor of the patty and the fact that the steak fries were crunchy! I now daydream of eating their guacamole and mushroom burgers!

I'd give this 5 stars, except for the fact that they never have the Port Wine Cheddar burger and:

"THEY ARE CLOSING IN 30 DAYS!!!!!!!" That's what the cashier told me. Someone bought the building, the "restaurant" might stay, but it won't be Kelly's anymore. ;-(

An intense, life altering, mind blowing, most delicious burger. Super Fresh Bonus: The amazing bathroom will leave you breathless with it's beauty, wishing you could spend more time in there. One of, if not the, best restaurant experiences of my 35 years on the planet. If Kelly's Burgers was a person I would give her a big hug, call her 'Super Freaky' and sing her cool and catchy love songs on top of hip hop beats until we fell asleep in one another's arms. Good times all the way around.

Along with a long list of hamburger options, ya got your standard Gardenburger, which was alright, and a portabello mushroom sandwich for veggies. The prices are decent. People watching along 16th St is good; windows are plentiful here.

I really miss Kelly's. I know I had a review on here ages ago....where did you go? Did Kelly's take you with them when they closed? Where's my turkey burger? Where am I going to get my curly fries and lentil soup now?!

Good burgers, great fries, and low key without being grungy.