Abortionplex

11/20/2015

They only did a half job! I had twins and they forgot one! Bah! Now I have to come all the way back here. Not happy Abortionplex!

Will be writing a letter!

3 stars for half a job.

• 

  Bar to forget if you made the right decision or not.

  Bar to forget if you made the right decision or not.
• 

  Nice waking up rooms at the A-plex.

  Nice waking up rooms at the A-plex.
• 

  Ah, what could've been..

  Ah, what could've been..

10/15/2015

As soon as my girlfriend and I got our welfare check cashed, we headed right over to Abortionplex for the second time this week and were initially seated in the smoking lounge where we only had to wait a few minutes before being seen by someone who said they were going to sell our baby parts for profit and cut us in on the deal!  It is best to go during the middle of the day in the week when all those other suckers are out working hard while we sleep til noon, get up and smoke dope and get pregnant again! We get pregnant quite a lot since the Republicans shut down our local planned parenthood and we  no longer have access to birth control but hell, with all the money we are making on baby parts, who cares! Now we can afford to buy a new gun at the new gun shop that replaced the abortion clinic!

Now we can have all the irresponsible sex we want! The last time we had a foursome which included a lot of unprotected gay sex! Looks like we will be taking a trip to Abortionplex soon! My girlfriends parents would probably freak out if they saw her with a black baby so once again, Thanks Abortionplex!

9/17/2015

My friends have all gone here, and said it was a "must do" in Topeka.
But when I went, they turned me away and said I had to actually be pregnant to take advantage of the Tuesday special. Booooo!
I think I'll be sending a pretty angry letter to my congressman.
1 extra star for their ice luge.

9/6/2015

A publicly-funded campaign of constructing abortionplexes would be a fantastic idea. Abortion is a wonderful thing which allows a woman to escape financial calamity by ridding herself from what is not living at the absolute earliest stages. Sure, we can draw the line with partial birth abortion, but abortionplexes being like cineplexes should save us money since having a child can cost the taxpayers money and contribute to our unsustainable world population, which is a multi-pronged problem in itself.

Build those aboritonplexes.

11/15/2014 Updated review

*This was a joke from my friend Ryan...

But I'll keep it.

Abortionplex wasn't a bad experience, I'm glad my fag hag and I drove up from Texas to get that thing outter her. Y'all look, don't judge but she wanted a baby, and me being a good gay, albeit a drunken gay thought having sex with her once wouldn't hurt. Needless to say I don't know much about the whole heterosexual stuff thing and we've got a baby problem!!! Our Gov. Rick Perry actually wanted all women to see the fetuses and take lessons or some shit before we aborted the thing, but I said: "hell let's just drive up to Abortionplex and make a roadtrip out of it!" So here we come, rolling in from Texas and as other reviewers have said, parking sucked. I wish as well that I got a groupon discount.

I treated my fag hag to the deluxe package I saw which included a post-abortion uterus massage + anal bleaching. Anal bleaching sounded so good, I got one as well!! Groupon didn't have one for that, so I shelled out more bucks on this than I thought I would. All in all it was a great experience, I got to eat some funnel cakes and listen to some Enya! The shit... Sail away, sail away, sail away...

2/18/2014

Was wary of paying those big city prices, but I had a Groupon, so I took the girls down to give this place a try.
Well, I am impressed! The free buffet was delish, and the many entertainment options will really bring out the kid in you. There's an ACORN office on the premises, so my girls (who are all illegal immigrants) were able to register to vote. They even got a complimentary Obamaphone just for signing up!
Loved the mechanical games too - "Whack a Hole", "Ride the Mechanical Papal Bull", "SuperPAC Man". Unfortunately the "Ms. SuperPAC Man" was not available, the sign said it was undergoing a transvaginal ultrasound.
Overall, I give it five stars, would abort again. Spend a little extra on the manicure and Thai foot massage package, it just makes the DnC time fly by. And you single guys, keep your eyes out for the many single slutty hotties that are there. With this religious freedom = no birth control coverage thing, your opportunities will, unlike the women there, be multiplying!

1/12/2014

• Listed in Yelp 100 Challenge 2014- Completed!

Hadn't been awhile. Just went back for a trip down old memory lane.
Doesn't get much better than this.
Now I can go on that vacation to Europe I always wanted.

11/21/2012

My 16 year old wife was too young to have kids, so Abortionplex was the right choice for us. Naturally, I had to wait inside the viewing room while the procedure was being done. If you're not comfortable watching the procedure in 3D, there are many other accommodating luxuries to pass the time with. Including the massage gym, delux cafeterium and the indoor water slides.

11/15/2012

Finally, Costco has gift cards at a discount for the Abortionplex. I can't tell you how much this is going to save me and my family.

Now if only we could get a drive- through, I would be at peace with the world. If parking were not free, I don't know what I would do.

10/11/2012

As a gay guy, I have no reason to come here unless one of my friends get pregnant -- fortunately, God gave me really slutty friends and the sense to poke holes in their condoms, cause I can't get enough of this place! Every time I come here, I'm treated like a big shot, even though it's really my friend who's the star of the show.

I think the receptionists keep some of your personal details on file, because they remember what I do and my favorite music well enough to ask me if I've been to any concerts lately. It's those little details that keep me coming back. Well, that and getting to witness the miracle of abortion.

10/5/2012

This proves that capitalism solves everything, even the kind of moral dilemmas that usually divide a nation.  Roll it up in the mantel of an entrepreneur just trying to make a good honest living, and suddenly free-market Republicans don't feel so offended.  I DO think it's kinda weird that I found a pamphlet for this place at an abstinence-only activism table at a street fair in Lexington, KY.

But enough about that, how does this place stack up?  I'm a fan of the buffet just like everybody else, especially the desserts - take that vacant space where your baby bump used to be and fill it with a cake baby!  Feels so much better!!

One star off because I felt kinda pressured to add on enhancements to my service, and those little fees really add up.  It was kinda like buying airline tickets... I really don't need a Thai foot massage, I'm just trying to get from Point A to Point B and I can fly economy, thanks.

10/4/2012

All of my women used to be perks when I was in the human traficking game. I'd roll in semi truck loads of illegal immigrants from Mexico into Texas, Kentucky and other southern and aggie states. They weren't the fanciest or cleanest ladies but they were sturdy and knew how to take it.  I kind of saw it as humanitarian because I'd break them in for their futures in prostitution - I was always gentler than I figured Johns would be in places like Detroit and Newark.

Anyway, I'd have a LOT of sex with these girls and women in the houses and hotels where we'd have to wait a week or two while final destinations were being worked out.  Obviously, I'd end up with dozens of preggo Mexicans, Guatemalans, Colombians (personal favorite) - hell, I was like an ambassador, a regular Don Juan!

A semi is a man's true best friend.  I'd load 'em up and swing right through Topeka, taking thirty or forty Carlitas and Josefinas in the trailer at a time.  Now, mind you, the Abortionplex officially frowns on underage girls getting abortions, UNLESS YOU'RE THE PARENT OR GUARDIAN. I had paperwork for each and every one of them - I played it off like I was a Mormon and these were all my daughters.  Some times I felt creative and would skip the Mormon ploy and either play master of disguise - I wasn't really that good, but it was fun - or claim I was a test tube baby farmer.  The Abortionplex staff always liked my attempts at creativity, but mostly loved my regular business.

Well, I've moved into golden retirement, but I turned a couple good buddies onto my scheme.  Since I've brought the A-plex so much business, they've made me an honorary lifetime member - I'm kind of like a Kentucky Colonel.  I've left the south of the border girls behind and have developed a taste for girls trying to be mail-order brides.  I made millions in trafficking, so I'm smuggling these dames over from Bulgaria, Ukraine, Laos and, get this, North Korea.  Those girls know the value of service.  

I never saw myself ending up retiring in Topeka but I know some day before too long I'll end up immobile and incontinent, but I've got an endless supply of Viagra being trucked in by my buddies, and they'll ALWAYS be coming through Topeka.  Yep, I've found my little patch of heaven and I ain't leaving.  Thank you, Abortionplex, you've helped me find the meaning of life!

Oh, final note.  I hope some people slow down on all that drinking and partying at the night club portion of the A-plex.  Dancing and drinking leads to no good, take it from a moral, Christian southern gentleman.

7/29/2012

This place makes up for spilled milk.

Why cry when you can come here and have all of your worries washed away?

7/8/2012

• Listed in Things I Love..., Oklahoma/Arkansas/Kansas: Tour Guide

Buy One Get One Free Admission with yelp-check in!!!

7/3/2012

Brought my girlfriend here. She was really depressed because of the unwanted pregnancy. After the visit, her mood drastically changed because of all the fun she had. This place really brings the kid out of you.

6/30/2012

This place was awesome when it first opened, but I'm afraid it's been a victim of its own success. It's really crowded, and my server took nearly an hour to get me my chicken fingers. *And* she forgot my ranch dressing.

My favorite abortionist was booked solid all day, so I would up leaving without getting my abortion.

I know that it's kind of poor manners to mention a competitor in a site's review, and I hope this doesn't get flagged, but, people who are looking for a more exciting abortion experience should check out the Brownback Center, which is about two blocks north of the Topeka Abortionplex. Get the Back Alley special. Call ahead and see if you can get Sam to do yours. I've never actually had a back alley abortion, but, Sam makes it feel really authentic. Five stars.

6/24/2012

Great place - The parking was a little tricky, as there were a few fetuses in the driveways from women who couldn't wait to get inside, but once we were inside, there was plenty of seating at the bar, and they took our drink orders in less than a minute.

5/28/2012 Updated review

They're opening a dual wedding AND divorce chapel on the 2nd floor next to Frederick's of Hollywood! I'm so excited to 1. Split up with my current husband, 2. Abort his baby, 3. Stop at Frederick's for some bridal lingerie, and 4. Get married to the wonderful man I've been seeing on the side! All in one day!

When I called to make my reservation they even mentioned that they'll be doing same-sex weddings! Yay marriage equality!

*P.S. I didn't keep my Implanon appointment - maybe this time? Does anyone know if they have a Groupon for it yet?

4/30/2012

The best part was the 24 Hour access to the Waffle House for those after-hours Blue Waffle needs. The kids had fun in the pool while me and the Girls got complimentary Brazilian waxes post-abortion. Wow! Great value.

4/27/2012

What a great place. Friendly staff, quick service, lots of amenities. Downside? Pricey.

Loved the food choices but wished for more vegetarian entrees. Comfy couches were a really nice touch!

Bathrooms needed cleaning.