Leon I.'s Profile

There are destination eateries, and there are destination eateries, and then there's the Hot Bite! I'm not a big burger eater, but when I find one I like, I really like it; and I like the burgers at the Hot Bite.

I have milkshakes even less often than I have burgers, and if the burgers were crap at the Hot Bite (which they're NOT) the place would still be a destination eatery for the milkshakes.

There are a lot of reasons why one would want to go to Southeast Alaska. The natural environment is certainly a big draw; the scenery, the wildlife, the overwhelming sense that "yes I could die, now that I've seen this place." But as I said, the Hot Bite is a destination eatery. If Auke Bay were in the middle of the ugliest, blasted heath you can imagine, with rolling hills of nuclear waste, and billowing clouds of sulfuric puke... The Hot Bite would make the trip worth it.

This is not hyperbole, because hyperbole would involve exaggeration. I'm not exaggerating. I wouldn't do that. Not in a bazillion years!

Like a lot of cuisines outside of their original contexts, Chinese food in the United States comes in two flavors: Americanized Chinese cuisine, and Chinese cuisine. It's interesting to me that we don't make a distinction between these more obvious. We don't have a term that would be analogous to "Tex-Mex." Maybe we should call it Chi-Merican... No? Anyway, my point is that Five Spice seems to be splitting this difference with their two menus.

I was introduced to Five Spice by someone who didn't even hesitate about asking for the "other menu" and I've never ordered off of the normal one. I don't know why you would. It looks like typical Chi-Merican grub to me, and it sounds like, from the other reviews, that it's poorly executed. Again, I don't know why you would be ordering this stuff and I'm not sure why they even have that menu.

I would never claim to be an expert on Chinese Cuisine, but I have eaten some pretty awesome meals in places like China, Taiwan, Hong Kong (I'm distinguishing it from China because I was there a lot before it was re-absorbed), San Francisco and New York. I think I know what authentic Chinese cooking tastes like. And everything I've eaten at Five Spice tastes like authentic Chinese Cuisine.

This is my new favorite place to eat in Boulder! The food is of an incredible quality for the price. A strong value. I know that sounds like a back-handed compliment but I don't mean it that way.

My favorite dish, so far, is the absolutely delectable Shitake Mushrooms with Bok Choy. And instead of the Chi-Merican tradition of giving you a fortune cookie with the bill, at Five Spices you get a delicious, if small, sweet-bean sesame ball!!! And I'm someone who thinks that you can't EVER get enough sweet-bean sesame balls!!!

First of all, there is no question: When you're at Momofuku, you're in good hands. There is so much attention to detail and delectation that it's quibbling to find fault anywhere. I don't want to just eat the hype but this is a good, high quality eating experience no matter how you decide to slice it...

I've tried a good cross-section of the so-called "snacks." Haven't found one that I don't like. The mochi (rice cakes) are particularly good, and the tamales deserve exploration. The kimchi is stellar. And the potato thing is fantastic if you can stop laughing.

In terms of side dishes: The pork buns are fully deserving of their fame, but the buns that are not pork do not deserve to be punished for their not containing the pig. The chicken ones are perhaps the closest to being questionable, but that doesn't mean that I wouldn't shove the Dali Lama to the ground to have a bite if necessary.

Now the fabled Momofuku Ramen: This is not, in the strictest technical sense, "Ramen." This is "Chinese Noodles." You may argue that there is little important difference, but coming from a Japanese bias, there is a diff. But not a distinction that I would ever suggest reflects poorly upon this bowl of pleasure. David Chang more than deserves to be held to his own standard. So I would argue strenuously that this dish not be compared to other Ramens in the city but be judged as a thing unto itself. As such it is fantastic. And I have to admit I end up thinking of it as a bowl of Ramen...

Hmmm...

The pork is just giggly-good. The nori is solid and substantial (something that one cannot say about many aspirants to Ramen Valhalla). The broth is deep without being heavy. Rich without cloying. The poached egg might seem gratuitous, but ultimately I liked it.
The noodles themselves are tight and hold up well, but arguably are the weak link. As I've argued elsewhere, good noodles are the holy grail in New York Ramen. And although Ippudo's soup doesn't quite reach the sophistication of Momofuku's, their in-house noodles have a slight edge.
Now this is a bit of Apples-Oranges, because Ippudo is slinging tonkotsu-ramen, so it's a bit like comparing a really great Gyros plate to a great Cobb salad, but that's why I'm trying to draw attention to the noodles. Ramen lives or dies on it's broth, and Momofuku is well into the stratosphere with their's, but the noodles could do with a bit more TLC...

I haven't done the fried chicken thing yet, but I've seen it, and I want it... guess I need to go try to make some friends...

Try to avoid the tendency for hype to blunt the edge of hipster enjoyment and just dig in. Momofuku is doing a lot of things right. So do right and just get in there...

As a rule, I don't like to dump on places here on Yelp. But it gauls me that a place like Lindy's is probably convincing plenty of visitors to our complicated little city here, that they have had a real NYC diner/deli experience.

I suspect that a group of aliens from another planet/parallel dimension, have set up Lindy's for some reason other than running an authentic NYC diner. What we have here is a simulation which is fine unless you do something foolhardy like focus your eyes, or taste the food.

And not only are they aliens, they don't even seem to be trying that hard.

For example; There is a trope in the NYC diner playbook that involves the display of celebrity head-shots. Lindy's has an impressive array of such pictures, but seems to have missed the point ENTIRELY that the purpose of such pictures is to at least suggest that these people patronized your establishment at some point and gave you a signed picture for display. The aliens did some perfunctory pop-culture research (apparently in the the '80s) resulting in pictures of such stars as Milton Berle, Rambo and Mavrick (the one from Top Gun) without even forged "Thanks Lindy's!!" type, Sharpie marks on them.

The food is good, if you take into account that it is sugar, fat and various plastics, formed into shapes that look like food to fool the human lab-rats that are the target cliental. If they had done better research they would have realized that it is just as easy to make half-decent actual cheesecake as it is to make whatever this styrofoam stuff is marginally edible.

Oh, and in actual human establishments, dishes get washed between uses. Even in NYC diners. I know that may not have been obvious to the researchers. "Greasy spoon" is not an aspirational term.

So in short, unless you know something about the real reason why this place exists and are participating in said agenda...

STAY AWAY!

Yes: I'm talking to you... Mr./Ms. Out-of-town-tourist. Keep walking... There are better places all over this city. Hint: the good places probably don't have cartoonish characters (alien interpretations of what we look like) encouraging you to come into their trap.

Definitely the kind of place one wants to support.

Given the decor and general attitude you expect the baked goodies to be made out of recycled particleboard dust that was washed out of the clothing of Habitat For Humanity workers.

I see two possibilities. Either:
1. They are baking with baking stuff.
or
2. Particleboard tastes good.

Occam's Razor: The scones are made of scone stuff... Tasty scone stuff I might add!

The whole place is delightfully unassuming and rooted in the pleasures of good sense. If you need a toilet, there's a Starbucks close at hand!

I'm trying the ice-coffee next time...

There's some kind of worm-hole in Niwot Colorado...

You drive to this small town. Go into a grocery store. Walk through the aisles of chips and peanut butter and whatever to the back corner, where there are some tables and a sushi counter. Ask the man for Ramen (choose between Soy, Salt, and Miso flavors). And a couple of minutes later a steaming bowl of surprisingly good, authentic Tonkotsu Ramen shows up!!

This is so bizarre! It's like something out of Time Bandits or Being John Malkovich or something!

I would love to say that I discovered this myself, but a friend tipped me off to it: On Sunday afternoons, and ONLY on Sunday afternoons, you can get Ramen at Sachi Sushi in Niwot Co!!
That's amazing in and of itself.
But what's really amazing is that the Ramen is so GOOD!!

Worth it! Worth it! Worth it!!

I know where I'll be on Sundays when I'm in Boulder!

Azuki is an example of that species of Japanese restaurants that are "Japanese" in much the same way that Emeril Lagasse is Cajun... which is to say, only by hype and a tiny bit of substance. There are patches of authenticity within a field of "close enough for 8th Ave."

I think the Sushi has gone down hill in recent months. But the complementary sake and the generously scaled ohitashi appetizer are big pluses...

One of my favorite dishes from the portfolio of "low" Japanese cuisine, is the katsudon. This is a fairly large bowl of rice, topped with a pork cutlet, nestled in an egg and vegetable mix that has been cooked in a broth, which flavors the rice. I have had many dishes called katsudon in Japanese restaurants in the US that would never even remind the average Japanese person of a katsudon. And although Azuki's isn't absolutely authentic, it errs in a direction that I actually like.

Usually a katsudon comes with a side of pickles. At Azuki there is a generous variety of pickles along the sides of the bowl.

Because of its location, Azuki ends up being an occasional after-work place for dinner, and although I probably wouldn't seek it out as a destination, I've never really had any big complaints.

And there are times when I get a hankering for that Azuki katsudon.

The Skillet fried chicken is a MUST. In my life-long search, for "best chicken in the world" this is a definite contender in the "Fried" category.

Over-all, Rack & Soul has reasonable portion size and delicious food. Lot's of places make claims to Southern Cuisine, this place is doing it.

I'm not a big desert eater. Not because I don't like desert, but because I'm already too big.
But I tried the Red Velvet Cake...
Wow!
I'd always thought of Red Velvet Cake as just cake that was red, but this is different. I think they must put actual Velvet in this cake because there's something going on here that is NOT normal. It has more to do with fudge than cake. It never occurred to me to eat velvet before (certain scenes in a certain David Lynch film sort of put me off it), but this is delightful. Dense but light.
Mmmmmm...

Good Place to go when seeing something at Saint Anne's Warehouse. As far as the food goes, I would set expectations to bar food rather than restaurant food. I wonder what I mean by that? I certainly don't mean it's bad. Bar food can be very good. And this food is on the high side of bar food. I've never had the burgers everyone is talking about, and I was fine so don't be afraid to go into other areas of the menu. Soup anyone?

Portions are not obscenely big, but are certainly satisfying. Which is also true of the touted five-dollar beers.

The atmosphere is very pleasant, but there's this weird inorganic thing. I guess it's true of a lot of Dumbo for me. Although there are many things about Dumbo that are cool, a lot of it feels like it's supposed to feel cooler than it really is. Like someone came up with an idea for a really cool neighborhood.

The pizza at Exchequer is not so much a food product as a food experience. I suspect the attempt here is to render lake Michigan in cheese form. What you get is basically a big deep crust-lined pan of molten curd with some ingredients swimming around in it like fish in an aquarium. It is perhaps a good example of the Chicago style deep dish pizza but that's a bit like saying that Menudo is a good example of a boy-band; It leaves the question open as to whether the category itself is perhaps a problem.
I imagine the fabled inventor of the form surveying the finally perfected pie and whispering "I am become death. The destroyer of worlds,"

Exchequer is one of those places that seem to represent the model that chains like TGIF and Applebees are trying to emulate. The walls are covered with movie memorabilia (some which are genuine, signed pics of celebs etc.), and there are screens everywhere, catering to those for whom the term "sports bar" is a good thing.
The food is not outstanding. I go there because its near Millennium Park and the Art Institute and because they make deep dish pizza.
And when you just gotta have a lake of gooey cheese, you just gotta have a lake of gooey cheese.

Good ol' American excess! A European friend who I took to Exchequer for the object lesson of it all, said, upon seeing the thing that arrived at our table after we ordered what she thought was going to be a pizza: "America is like a naughty child. This is the kind of thing a child would come up with." She didn't mean that this was all bad. But she also didn't mean that it was all good...