robert g.'s Profile

Good lord, this place sucks!

I went there for breakfast today and it was terrible. The waitress was inattentive and moped around like she hates life. My Eggs Florentine was cold and utterly tasteless. We waited 15 minutes for the opportunity to ask someone to bus our table.

And then the ultimate insult: THEY HAVE BATHROOM ATTENDANTS. (Are you fucking kidding me!? I just turned around and left.)

Obscenely overpriced for such a crap experience. Never. Again.

Hands-down THE BEST wine shop in Brooklyn. Nobody else even comes close.

I've been going to Slope Cellars -- exclusively, to the extent possible -- for five years and I'm yet to want for another wine shop. The staff is supremely knowledgeable, unpretentious, and friendly. They get the best stuff from the best distributors, and their prices can't be beat.

FIVE. STARS.

- The squash soup was AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE better than any squash soup I'd ever had in my life. This is NOT HYPERBOLE.

- My fish was cooked perfectly.

- There's this French chardonnay blend they have there by the glass. Don't mess around. Get a bottle.

- Our bartender made us an herb-infused cocktail of his own design after dinner and, Sweet Baby Jesus, it was amazing.

- During after-dinner cocktails, the table next to us had their pasta arrive and just smelling it felt like a second meal. Totally sublime.

- Do it.

You'll never want to take your teeth anywhere else. Not only is Dr. Rosenkranz one of the nicest, gentlest, most competent dentists you'll ever meet -- he's one of the nicest, gentlest *people* you'll ever meet. And that energy is everywhere in his office. If they were any friendlier, it would be creepy and/or annoying.

I'll spare you the details, but I had pretty bad gums and Dr. Rosencranz and his staff saved my grill and now I'm never self-conscious about my teeth. They're stronger and better looking than ever.

By the way, those are my teeth in the x-ray pictured here. I have a hidden tooth that's never going to come out. I thought it was fascinating, so I asked him to email me the image -- and he did, later that day.

Yelp is a genius concept that falls slightly short on execution.  It's only tough-love griping because I can see through the braces and fading acne.  Lookin' good, baby.  Call me when you're Web 2.1...

You'd be way hotter if you weren't so damn agreeable all the time.  I don't always need to know how cool or smart or funny I am.  If you really loved me, you'd step back and let people tell me when I'm full of it.  I can handle it--can you?

xo,
-rg

[UPDATE: Gotta say that since I wrote this some time ago, Yelp has truly evolved into an amazing resource. And the iPhone app!? Soooo helpful. I still think people should be able to say that a review wasn't helpful, but I'm willing to overlook such a small detail compared to everything else this site does to help optimize my life.]