Ariela "On again, off again" B.'s Profile

Sometimes convenience is like a high five that just waits for you to walk into it. I remember heading toward Union Square one day, thinking to myself, "You know, it'd be really cool if I could find a nearby Staples for some [insert office supply here]." I pulled out my phone and launched my trusty Yelp app, typed in "Staples", and promptly walked into one of their sidewalk "/\" shaped ads that was sitting right in front of the doorway. Well I'll be damned. Staples! Of course, being the total dork I am, I still hit "search" in the app, just to see what would come up. Apparently, I was in the right place. What did we do without GPS? Oh wait, we walked into things. Right.

Anyway!

I've always been a fan of Staples, but there's definitely a difference between particular locations. Sometimes they're just badly run, or full of people who don't know their asses from their elbows.

Thankfully, this is one of the better ones. The place is VERY clean and organized, and the staff actually knows where everything is, and can direct you accordingly. I've come in a few times with depressingly vague descriptions of supplies I needed, and they knew what I was referring to every time. That's a big thumbs up from me.

Also, it's open 24/7. You really can't complain there. The next time I have a 3am craving for hanging folders and dry erase boards, I am SET.

Considering how active I am these days, I'm really surprised that I keep forgetting to come here for my equipment needs. It should be the FIRST thought in my mind when I need stuff, but for some reason, it isn't.

The Repeated Scenario:
I'll need some new workout/hiking/whatever shirts, shoes, weights, or some other items. Proceed to check local stores. Get into a grumpy snit about how I can't find said appropriate things ANYWHERE, and spend more time than should be necessary wandering around even more small local shops and mall stores that would never carry what I need anyway, no matter how hard I stand there and glare at their inventory. It becomes an exercise in futility.

But then! Then, at some point after a good agonizing sulk about my personal misfortune in the matter, I remember the existence of Paragon. I get this momentary flash of epiphany (it never fails), and from then on the only thing that would make my scavenger hunt easier is if I owned a teleportation device and could zap myself into the store without bothering with travel times.

There's a department for every activity and sport under the sun. Well, maybe not crazy obscure stuff, like for elephant-riding tightrope walkers, antarctic nude kayaking, or whatever the super GWR loonies do these days, but hey, you never know. The department staff are pretty knowledgeable, too. It's really nice when I can ask the advice of someone who ACTUALLY USES the thing I'm interested in buying. I've come here to outfit myself for the gym, Zumba, mountain hiking (they carry an awesome line of hiking boots, if that's your thing), and just general "active lifestyle" odds and ends, and I've left satisfied (and slightly poorer) each and every time.

Oh, Paragon. You know my needs. You have all the right toys. You even know the safety procedures for every style and position. And you're so...so BIG.

*pant* Wait. Yes.

The only downside to the whole experience (aside from draining your wallet) is in the purchase line. It can get kind of long at the front, and discounts don't always work as advertised. Make sure you triple check prices with someone before you waste precious minutes standing behind some sweaty jock with a steroid problem and 50 basketball jerseys draped over his arm (and a Shake Weight), only to learn that your chosen item was in fact completely mislabeled.

Suggestion for the economical-minded:
Make a trip to the store, try stuff on, test stuff out, jot down item numbers and stuff you're interested in, and see if you can get a better price online, either through their website or even on Amazon. The physical store is a lifesaver if you need specific items STAT, but if you're really hoping to save a bit of money, do your price comparison homework. The reality is that a lot of what they have IS pricey, but no pricier than any other place that carries the same quality goods. It's still smart to check though. You can always come back again. I know I certainly will.

Their pizza is pretty good, but I would advise against ordering anything non-traditional off their menu, like meatloaf, veal Marsala, or anything that requires a chef's visit to the back kitchen and doesn't scream "standard pizzeria fare". The pizza is where it's at here. Anything more complicated and you're greeted by a mouthful of bland.

Stick to the basics, and you've got a good place for a lunch stop when you're in the area.

So much sugar packed into this little place! They've got just about everything your greedy little sweet tooth can desire. Sour strips (yeah, you know your mouth is already watering just thinking about those), jelly candy, sugared fruit, giant swirly lollipops, jellybeans of all flavors, oodles & oodles of gummies of all shapes and sizes. Gummy sharks. Gummy frogs. Gummy fruit. Gummy donuts. Gummy chocolate. Gummy *everything*. Katy Perry would be proud. And once you've decided you've died and gone to Candy Mountain, you realize they have display cases of CHOCOLATES, too! Yummy looking, delicious-smelling chocolates...

Ah, but what's the catch, you ask? You're a smart cookie, and you know this much wonderful cavity fodder has to have SOME drawback. And alas, it does. Not only is it a bit on the pricey side per pound, but they ONLY take cash. No credit cards. So either be prepared with your dead Presidents, or scout out the nearest [working] ATM before hitting this place up.

Oh, and *try* not to overdo the sugar rush.

I can't speak for their dinner menu or bar, but I did come here for lunch with a friend. It was incredibly uncrowded when we arrived at noon. Actually, it looked like we were the first customers of the day. Not bad.

The space is very nice, with an elegant decor and comfortable atmosphere. Very polished. Even the bathroom was pleasant, though I'm not quite sure about using one corner of it to store a highchair and booster seat. Seems like a problem waiting to happen. But that's not really a negative, just an observation.

My friend and I both ordered sushi rolls, 4 in total. They were nicely sized, and very good. Not the 100% best sushi I've ever tasted, but certainly above average.

Their lunch special prices are worth it, too. Until 3pm you can get 2 rolls for $8.50 and 3 for $11.50. While that's akin to robbery in Brooklyn, it's a steal for Manhattan, especially the UES.

Overall I'd say the place is good enough to go back the next time I'm in the area. That's saying a lot, too, since I don't often go to the UES, and having a "default" restaurant to gravitate toward is always a plus.

A friend brought me here RAVING about the place, but I honestly wasn't impressed.

At first glance, the decor is really eclectic and interesting. Gypsy/witch themed of course, with drapings and decorations of all shapes and sizes, and "creative" (read: crappy) lighting. But when you really look around and search for someplace that's actually comfortable, you're SOL. I guarantee you, any open spot you find will feel awkward to sit in somehow. If you can even find an open spot, as the whole place has a very cramped feel. All their seating is awkwardly positioned: back to high traffic, weirdly shaped chairs, couches slightly too low to the floor to feel "normal" or with deceptively uncomfortable cushions, etc. It's like they intentionally engineered the place to mess with your sense of space so you're juuuuuust at the brink of being ill at ease. But maybe that's the point of the "vibe". I dunno. There are some sofas scattered here and there at odd angles, and I suppose maybe one or two are borderline comfortable, but they'll probably be taken by the time you get there.

My biggest gripe is with the menu. I want to slap whoever designed it, and twice-slap the people who okayed it for printing. That thing is damn unreadable. It's all scrawled out and haphazardly arranged, and I could be misremembering, but I don't think it even lists prices. I have a hard enough time making menu decisions in the first place - giving me an unreadable menu doesn't exactly help with the frustration. It's also incredibly hard to read that gray text on black paper in the sucky lighting.

There's no privacy here for your conversations. Expect to be overheard, and expect to overhear EVERYTHING. That said, the noise level is kinda unpredictable, which may not be good for a dinner date (which I wouldn't recommend this place for anyway).

Expect a looooooooooooong wait for a seating area. I honestly don't know why this place is so popular. I didn't think their desserts and teas were all that phenomenal (they're okay though, I guess), so I can only assume the regulars come here for the vibe, which means they actually LIKE being uncomfortable. People are friggin' weird.

This is sort of a crappier version of one of those Value Depot places. I've ventured inside a number of times, and never walked out with a single purchase. The store is really dimly-lit, the merchandise looks sub-par, and the whole atmosphere just feels...I dunno, like an oversized 99-cent store that nobody bothers with because the aisles are under a layer of dust.

Remember Mister Rogers? Remember those episodes where he'd take you on a "tour" of all those really cool factories (omg crayons!!), and you got to see the process from start to finish of some of the most mundane things, making them magically fascinating? Or maybe you're a bit younger, and only know the glory of the Science Channel's "How It's Made". Either way, factories are really neat, aren't they? Don't you wish you could see one in person without getting some weird permits, or risk losing a limb to part of an assembly line that is secretly an unsupervised limb-eating machine with no soul?

Welcome to the Tillamook Cheese Factory, where you not only get to learn some cool stuff about cheese and taste their best offerings, but upstairs you get a fabulous overhead view of the factory, safely behind walls of glass. Your limbs are kept free of the equipment, and the equipment is kept free of your icky, dirty, human existence tainting the glorious Oregon cheese it processes. Compromises are awesome.

But hey, maybe factories don't interest you. Maybe you just like cheese. Cuz who doesn't like cheese? Free cheese tastings are spiffy. And their store in the back has so many varieties, my eyes started to glaze over. So much wonderful cheese...

Not a fan of cheese either? Well if not factories and cheese, maybe you like ice cream. You have to like ONE of those, right? What if it's reeeeeeeally good ice cream? Super creamy awesome ice cream in incredibly obscure flavor combinations. Yes? Yes. No is not a choice here. (Unless you're lactose intolerant, in which case, why are you reading about cheese factories?) I do warn you however: their ice cream is VERY filling. I'd advise against getting a "bowl", which is 3 scoops of your choice, because the scoops are rather large and I know *I* wasn't able to finish the whole thing, even though I hadn't even eaten lunch yet. It was just so rich. There's a limit to how much richness I can stand, no matter how great it is. The lines for the ice cream are pretty long, too, but they had like, 5 clerks working when I was there, so it moves at a good pace.

They have a normal cafeteria with other food as well, if you're looking for a regular lunch.

The downside: slightly out of the way to get to, and the actual merchandise (the tour and tastings are free) is sorta pricey. But factories! And cheese! And ice cream! It's at least worth a stop for an hour or so, if you're in the area with your kids.

Overall, a very, very cool place. Very organized, very clean, very informational, very yummy. But wow, was it packed. Despite being a freakin' cheese factory, it felt like an amusement park in there.

And they have those super jet engine hand dryers in the bathrooms! I love those things.

Over the last year I've definitely grown to like this place a bit more. It really is "convenient" for the area, especially since I walk past it when I go to and from the bus or train. The clerks are friendly, and it's great for picking up small, last minute things like a 5-hour energy shot or a muffin or something. And since it's far enough away from any trains, it's also got a very nice and calm atmosphere (as opposed to the rushed tension at every station bodega I've ever been to).

The space is definitely more well-utilized than it used to be, and they finally fixed the shattered glass in the double doors that was a bit of an eyesore for a while. I'd be a bit sad if it closed, so I guess that says something about the kind of local footprint they have now. I wonder if business will pick up even more when the TD bank is finished being built across the street.

Dear fellow bakers, cakers, and cupcake top makers of south Brooklyn,

You know how whenever you start a baking project, there's always that one baking ingredient, tool, or obscure item that you need, but can't find ANYWHERE? You spend hours searching places like Target and Key Food in vain, then resort to browsing online for stores that have exactly what you need, but slowly realize that the shipping times would screw over your party or project deadline. You silently curse to yourself as you sigh at the injustice, and proceed to try brainstorming ways you can kludge or jury rig your creation without the supply you need. Sound familiar?

Yeah. Stop it. Go to JoMart.

The place is divided into three main rooms.

The middle room where you enter is filled with handmade chocolates, truffles, and all kinds of yummy, chocolatey goodies. You can buy stuff in pre-packaged gift boxes, or choose your own combination of pieces per your tastes. The store smells HEAVENLY, and you will likely not be able to leave without buying *something*. And trust me, it will be worth it. They even have these amazing liquour truffles that you MUST try. If you need to bring something to a party or gathering and feel like a bottle of wine is too much or not quite right for the occassion, go with chocolate. Everyone likes chocolate. (And if they don't they clearly have problems.)

The room to the left is full of cards and non-edible gifty things, if you happen to need something Hallmark-ish to go with your chocolates.

The room to the right is a local chocolatier and cake artist's wet dream. It's not too big a space, but there are sooooo many baking supplies somehow packed into the area that it's rather overwhelming to behold at first. Shelves of rolled fondant and fondant supplies, icing and candy writers, dyes, sugar sheets, cookie cutters of all shapes and sizes, sprinkles, sparkles, edible pearls and glitter, countless chocolate/candy molds, and a ton of other obscure supplies that you won't find in any local supermarket. If you need it, it's probably here. And if it's not, I bet they'll be able to tell you exactly where to get it.

The staff here is really nice, too. They'll take the time to explain their products, and help you make decisions about gifts, as well give advice about any projects you might be doing. Their own factory area is right in the back of the store, so you know everyone's got some experience with what they're talking about.

The downside to the amazing quality and convenience however, is the price. Shopping here does take a bite out of your wallet, but considering all their chocolate is hand made and their supply inventory is phenomenal and ridiculously convenient, I'm willing to shell out what I need for what I get in return (provided I don't do it too often at least). Definitely not the place for "just a snack" when you're walking by and on a budget, but keep them bookmarked for a visit when you want to try something really special.

Or when you need that elusive, last minute, weird silicone cupcake pan or fondant mat. You know, the important stuff.