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jess "screw the I C A department" d.'s Profile

Photo of jess d.

Photo of jess d.
Photo of jess d.
Photo of jess d.
Photo of jess d.

"so, I'm vegan."

Elite 2009

profile votes icon Review votes:
132 Useful, 76 Funny, and 87 Cool

Location

Portland, OR

Yelping Since

June 2008

Things I Love

painting my nails, drinking great local beer, vegan food, critiquing vegan food, cats

Find Me In

se portland.

My Hometown

islip, ny

My Blog Or Website

http://getsconedpdx.com/

When I'm Not Yelping...

I'm thinking about vegetables.

Why You Should Read My Reviews

cough, I'm a semi-professional ranter and raver.

My Second Favorite Website

http://www.stumptownve...

The Last Great Book I Read

Let the right one in.

My First Concert

The Beach Boys

My Favorite Movie

Muppets Take Manhattan

My Last Meal On Earth

Herb Crusted Tofu dinner at the Farm Cafe, plus a ton of cocktails

Don't Tell Anyone Else But...

I can get sick of tofu.

Most Recent Discovery

That I don't eat enough goddamn Ethiopian food.

Current Crush

Bill Compton.

Recent Reviews

95 Reviews

Filter by: Location   Category
3967 N Mississippi Ave
Portland, OR 97227
(503) 288-6272

Moloko Plus  

Category: Lounges
Neighborhoods: Mississippi, North Portland

4 star rating
 11/20/2009  
I have to applaud the 30+ (I don't think I'm making that up) selection of infused liquors.  They're displayed on the bar like a big box of Crayola colors.

I'm saying that...and I stuck to sparkling wine. $4 a glass. served in a classy glass with a classier curl of freshly grated orange peel.

super sweet bartender, working the entire room herself.  

my hummus plate did take a bit to come out, but the crisp vegetables and scoop of tasty, spiced hummus made up for it.  the olives were sparse, but the hummus was better than pretty much every bar hummus plate I've ever had.

I didn't like.... the bar stools, or having to squeeze between them to order.  the rest of the atmosphere and arrangement of tables was cool, very aalto (on belmont) of the north.

overall, this is a place I'd come out of my way to go to.  a must-stop for a mississippi evening.

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322 NW Everett St
Portland, OR 97209
(503) 226-1569

East Chinatown Lounge  

Categories: Lounges, Dance Clubs
Neighborhood: Old Town

3 star rating
 11/17/2009  
1 star for making me laugh

1 star for front room

1 star for making me 'ooooo' over grey goose vodka in the cocktails

- 1 star for pouring the tiniest drop out of an open bottle of champagne to start my glass, and then starting a new one.  I didn't want to see that.

The other star is up in the air.  I first stumbled into here tipsy to use the sliding door bathrooms a few years ago.  I always imagined it was a dream, that this club was in my imagination in Old Town, but Maeve C. and I spontaneously popped in on a downtown pub crawl and wow, it's real.  
Wow, there are people in sequins, $9 cocktails, red lighting and funky, ridiculous chairs.
Wow. Where are my cool people clothes? What time is Express at the Tigard mall open till?

I'm not sure if my going to some place like this is hilarious/fun/embarassing or what.  Yet.  Wow.

p.s. via email I've been assured they have vegan options and the curry pastes are meat free....

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206 NW 10th Ave
Portland, OR 97209

Elite Event: Savory, Sexy, Sweeet - The Yelp…  

Category: Local Flavor
Neighborhood: Pearl District

5 star rating
 11/12/2009  
Yelp Elite = Guaranteed Thing.

aka, a guaranteed GREAT time.

Time and again.

This is officially in my top two favorite Yelp Elite events so far - the other being my first at Andina, because well, swoon.

Can it be that I like things the Pearl offers?!?!?!? Yes. Don't tell SE I said that.

Generous whiskey drinks, check.
Citrus is gooooood, check.

Food porn, my favorite porn (eh...well probably, not a porn gal).  

Did the gnocchi win?  I hope so!

And I remembered to eat before and not stare too longingly at the fondue wishing it was vegan. Score!

Super bonus points for the couches.

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2926 NE Alberta Street
Portland, OR 97211
(503) 206-6266

Branch Whiskey Bar  

Categories: American (New), Lounges
Neighborhoods: Alberta Arts District, Northeast Portland, Concordia

3 star rating
 11/6/2009  
This place was booming on a recent Friday night.
The drinks were fabulous, I had a strong Mint Julep and a moving Brown Derby and was intrigued by a few more on the cocktail listing. Solid pricing ($7-9ish), high quality components and a stylish mixing action.

The issue was actually ordering the drinks.  Service was great at first, checking on what my friend and I wanted to order, but the hunt for a bartender for a second trip, while seated at the bar, was a bit more challenging.  My friend and I tried to make eye contact for a bit, and eventually called over someone for a second drink.

You'd think after near 30 minutes with one drink, someone would wonder if you'd want another...

That being said, I'm patient, it's very new, and again, the drinks were fabulous.
And vegans - their white bean dip is an option.

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508 SW Broadway
Portland, OR 97205
(503) 973-5540

Peet's Coffee & Tea  

Category: Coffee & Tea
Neighborhoods: Southwest Portland, Downtown

3 star rating
 10/28/2009  
Dudes, I was ready to be a hater.
I was in need of a pumpkin latte, and since I'm vegan, I was on the search for one without the thick Torani syrup (dairy).
I walked into Peet's at the Marriott, which has a Borders corporate/coffeeshop vibe to it.  It's like the set up was ordered through a catalog.  Oh, wait..

I waited in line a couple minutes.  Ordered at a register.  Same worker was also the barista.  Friendly & guaranteed me their syrups were all nondairy, except for the White Chocolate.

Ordered my damn pumpkin latte, and dudes, you dudes, it was... good.  I was ready for a Seattle's Best cup of crappy coffee and sugar overload.  
There was even latte art!

Bonus points for the Black Sheep vegan baked goods, of course.

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1204 SE Clay St
Portland, OR 97214
(503) 235-7831

Ladds Inn  

Categories: Dive Bars, Restaurants
Neighborhoods: Ladd's Addition, Southeast Portland, Central Eastside

4 star rating
 Update - 10/22/2009  
I'm in love with Ladds.  It's so goddamn lowkey and ridiculous.

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2 Previous Reviews: Hide »

  • 3 star rating
    9/11/2009

    I think this place may just be amazing.

    A real classy broad was ordering a glass of champagne when we walked up to the bar, and made sure to request - just in a wine glass.

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  • 3 star rating
    8/31/2009

    Did I stumble onto a crappy college campus? I expected dive bar, and got dive bar....plus an invasion of OSpirg or AmericorpPirg or Purgatory joke something? and people I rarely see in Portland. One friend of mine uttered it..."Gresham"? but I don't have the proper research to second this.

    Whatever, I thoroughly enjoyed my time here. Two friends and I stayed till closing after hitting up a couple bars first. Very end of summer. I've lived within walking distance for 3 years, but never found myself here. We frequented Cartopia (yeah, the 12th and Hawthorne carts!) all summer, yet Langano and Basement Pub were the default bars, we didn't even given this one notice until we wanted Karaoke, and since we're on Hiatus TM from Chopsticks, we checked this out.

    The Karaoke is pretty crappy and you feel like you're in a friends basement, on said college campus, but the female KJ was sweet and although she warned us our songs would take a while, they seriously didn't. We were up there singing "What's Up" by 4  Non Blondes within 15-20 minutes, unlike Chopsticks, where it would have taken 1 hour and 40 minutes.
    For once, we didn't witness 'Did I mention I have a background in musical theater?' performances like at Chopsticks, it was straight up people singing songs they liked. At one point, a dance party erupted during a song, and we got to hear a cute rendition of Summer Lovin' from Grease.

    The bar was also easy to walk right up to, especially for a Friday night at midnight.

    Repeat business? I don't know.
    The rare karaoke indulgence in a room of strangers? sure, but I wouldn't want to spend more than an hour.

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712 NW 21st Ave
Portland, OR 97209
(503) 497-1090

Coffee Time  

Category: Coffee & Tea
Neighborhoods: Northwest, Alphabet District

3 star rating
 10/21/2009  
I rarely go to NW Portland, but I remember coming here when I first moved to town and being in love with the back rooms and hobbit holes.
Every couple years I pop in again, drink an Italian soda and wish I had a hobbit to play chess with.
Last night, I returned before an evening out with friends in NW, and ordered a latte.  I'm on a constant examination of soy lattes in Portland, and figured I'd add them to the mix.  
There was one employee behind the counter, who was quite nice, but there was a long line.  I waited behind a few folks, and ordered my small soy latte to stay.  He made it, and from the moment I heard the foaming start, I knew it was a sad visit.  It was all BLERG BLERG - my hope was crushed.  It was foOoOooamy.  

And to makes things even more tragic?  They serve goddamn Panache.

It's Portland!  Let's stop this.

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600 SW 5th Ave
Portland, OR 97204
(503) 295-1171

Ross Dress For Less  

Neighborhoods: Southwest Portland, Downtown

2 star rating
 10/20/2009  
What's going on here?  What went upstairs? I'm confused.
When stores re-structure, I would like a sign with huge letters telling me what happened.  I don't like having to figure it all out.
The shoes have taken over the juniors section, and the socks got more room.
Oh wait, I figured it all out.

I found a nice deal on knee high socks yesterday, and a couple others things, but I still don't like how most things at Ross look like Marshalls wannabes that have been worn around town and returned to the racks.

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433 SW 4th Ave
Portland, OR 97204
(503) 274-1888

Hush Hush Cafe  

Category: Middle Eastern
Neighborhoods: Southwest Portland, Downtown

3 star rating
 10/16/2009  
This used to be my favorite place for falafel.  This time two  years ago, it was new, quietly getting ridiculously popular, and had better falafel then every where else in town.
One year later, I'm no longer hooked: the falafel seems to have lost it's magic.
Two years later, I was wowed at how good the freshly baked pita still is, and creamy the tahini is, but the tomatoes were watery (huge sin in this city!) the pickles were limp and the falafel was crumbly.  While the falafel was bigger than I remembered, by much, it just wasn't great.  It was good, I guess, but almost too big/messy to eat.

I still think it's one of the quickest meals downtown, especially from a non-cart, but I'll stick to the mezze (minus the grape leaves with dairy dressing) next time I find myself there and curious.

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1001 SW 5th Avenue
Portland, OR 97204
(503) 222-5002

Caffe Viale  

Category: Coffee & Tea
Neighborhoods: Southwest Portland, Downtown

3 star rating
 10/16/2009  
I appreciate this alternative to Starbucks and Seattle's Best in this part of downtown.
 I'm not thrilled about Cafe Umbria, but both cups of coffee I've had so far have been fine.  More than decent.  A little burnt, but that beats awful.

Typical butter laden dessert options.

No soy milk on the counter, you have to ask for it.

Nice baristas, no 'tudes.

Will be trying a latte soon.  That's the true test.

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80 Compliments

  • Hot Stuff

    That place is rad!  Thanks for the hot tip on the bubbly.

  • You're Funny

    Jess, are you turning all swanky on us? ;)

  • Thank You

    Glad you had a great time! And yes, the gnocchi did win. :)

More

9 Lists

Photo of Tube

gone sipping

Here's where I like to come alive after five!
1.  Tube
Alert:   Their grapefruit…
2.  Basement Pub
beer's gone up a quarter.…
3.  Beulahland
I've only eaten here…
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Photo of The Clinton Street Pub

The Places I Go Out

When the sun goes down, you'll find me here.
1.  The Clinton Street Pub
Such a whole in the wall…
2.  Tube
Alert:   Their grapefruit…
3.  Dots Cafe
On top of fries, spicy…
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See all lists