Emily S.'s Profile

Anyone in the Rocklin area looking for a dentist?  Really... who the hell looks for a dentist on purpose?  One meeting Dr. Jon, you will feel like you're seeing an old friend.  Really.  He's so incredibly amazing with his patients and truly talented in the field.  

If you hate going to the dentist, run.... have your records sent to Lone Tree Dental and I promise, this will be your last dentist.

Let me tell you about my friend Amy.  She is about a foot taller than me.  Smart, funny, adventurous.... wise.  Loves to eat good food.  I love her.  Not in a gay way.  Not that there's anything wrong with that... but I love her.  She is in my top 5 to be stuck on an island with.

While visiting Amy in Portland last week, she had a brilliant idea to go to happy hour at Henry's Tavern.  It was a Sunday.  Do they have happy hour on Sunday?  HELL TO THE YEAH, BITCHES!

Allow me to give you a rundown on our happy hour dishes with some prices:
*keep in mind that we shared everything

1.  Caesar Salad (huge) $2
2.  Waffle fries with creamy Gorgonzola cheese sauce. $3 (?)
3.  Mac n. Cheese (Cheddar, mozzarella, provolone) $2
4.  Reuben Rolls (4 rolls)
5.  Grilled Salmon on bed of rice with weird sauce

We stuffed ourselves.  OK.... my point in telling you some of the prices is that we ordered 1 beer each... they have something like 150 beers and our beer tab was more than our food tab.  This is the place to hang out people!  There were some good looking peeps in this place.  Well, maybe one good looking person (me).  Our wait person, Amanda (?) was sweet and attentive.  

You must find this place.

Let me give you an idea of a perfect evening in my head.

Long hot bath with 3 drops of lavender oil, epson salt with candles lit and big fat apple fritter in both hands.

Sitting in my iJoy chair with my ipod blaring cool 80s tunes with an apple fritter in both hands.

Finally retiring to my comfy bed with my husband at my side with an apple fritter in both hands... and him covered in them.

I love apple fritters.  Yeah.  You're quick to pick up on that one.  The apple fritters at Voodoo are... how shall I say.... pure perfection.  Crisp enough that you know it was fried in fresh oil.  Fluffy enough to want to take a nap with your face in it.  Sweet enough to know that you are about to reach that sugar coma.

The maple bacon bar is quite delicious.  And don't give me shit that it sounds disgusting.  I know you dip your breakfast sausage in your maple syrup!  Same thing, asswipe!

I am not a 5 star whore.  But this place gets 5 plus some!  The Wild Mushroom Scramble with leeks and goat cheese sent me into a humming/moaning chair dancing taste bud orgasm.

There was a line almost outside the door.  When you see this, you know something has got to be good.  I like to stare at people's food while waiting for a table.  And one of these days, I am going to pull an 'Elaine' from that Seinfeld episode.... and actually sample food off of someone's plate.

Service was exceptional.  Our waiter was good looking to boot!

Every time I visit Portland, I am guaranteed 3 things.

1.  Going home with an arm load of books from Powell's.
2.  The company of great friends and family
3.  Eating good food at non-chain places.

Our party of 4 stumbled into this place on a Saturday night and we had our choice of tables.  The place was empty.  But let me tell you something about me.  It's a secret.  And I swear that it is true.  After I walk into an empty place, it almost fills up by the time I leave.  Swear.  Ask my pedi lady.  She calls me her good luck charm.

Our service was decent and our food was outstanding.  My friend's gnocchi was of perfect texture but a bit salty.  My vinagarette salad perfectly paired with my calamari and lemon aioli sauce.

The desserts were divine.  Pear bread pudding and a Chocolate Toffee Torte.  

Why not five stars?  I couldn't get my iced tea filled.... look, I don't need fluid constantly... but a second refill should happen without my having to ask for it 3 times.  And the heater was ridiculously set too high.

I have a lot of regrets in life.  But yet, there are a lot of moments that I'd like to relive.  Eating dinner here is one of them.  Perhaps it may have been my anorexic frame starving from going maybe 2 hours without a bite to eat.  Or maybe it's because the food was so fucking delicious that I wished my stomach was bigger!

Our good looking party of 3 (ok, me... the good-looking member of a party of 3) shared 1 order of the garlic fries and sweet potato fries.  Burgers all around, and I ordered a mac n' cheese with pancetta to go home to the husband.

Our server was a bit slow on delivering the bill and the jaunt to the bathroom is not for an overweight, out of shape smoker.  Not that I'm fat or smoke.  I'm just sayin'.

If you were a patron at this establishment last Thursday, I'd like to apologize for my behavior.  Normally, I don't drink that much sangria.  Sounds of moaning during every bite is not in my nature.  

But this place really managed to satisfy my polluted palate of reheated leftovers eaten out of a clean emesis basin and too much French pressed coffee.

Our very good looking party (ok, I am the better looking of the 3), managed to take down 3 pitchers of the best sangria I've ever had, Calamares Fritos,  Patatas Bravas, Gambas al Ajillo, the Kobe beef and probably a couple more that I am forgetting.  

The crowd was fun (probably because I was in the house.. holla!)

Our server was sweet and very patient.  Definitely worth a trip from my hood.

I got good news and bad news for you people.  

Good news:  Elite '09 Status!  WAHOOOOoooo!

Bad news:  This place never has the specialty item that I'm looking for due to popularity.  

I would drink to the good news.... but I don't have said specialty item.  Minus one star for you.

I am not a fan of lacy, frilly stuff.  This store screams all things lacy and girly.  There are trinkets hanging in every little corner.  The place is jam packed full to the gills.  I found myself sucking my gut in just to walk through th potpourri section.  

The smell of lavender has the same exact effect that Cinnabon in the mall does to me.  Makes me want to do inappropriate things to my credit cards.  I am a sucker for a cinnamon-butter flavored carb and the inducing relaxant of lavender.  

They sell a lotion that is home made and ONLY available through this store and on their website.  I bought everything they had.  The lady thought I was a lunatic.  I made it a point to mention if this 'lotion artist' woke up tomorrow and decided she hated lavender and no longer wanted to make lotion and joined a cult... then at least I have the last of the store's inventory.

Men never stay in this store for more than 3 minutes.  Unless they're gay.  Which is fine.  Not that there is anything wrong with being gay... it's actually a plus sometimes.  You double your wardrobe if you're the same size.  

It's late.  I need to shut up and go to bed.

I heard a rumor that if your drink is more than 13 syllables, you're an asshole.  I drink a large sugar free vanilla soy latte. That's 10, bitches.

Freshly renewed and crying that we've left Cambria.  I am pleased to announce that the Yelp HQ finally gave me my much deserved Elite status.  

There are a few places you can get a decent cup of Joe in Cambria.  But to walk into a place that obviously takes pride in their beans and banter deserves a decent yelp.

Being a lactard, I always threaten baristas, 'if it ain't soy, I'm coming after you'.

My drink was so well done, that I returned for the same drink the next day.