QueenofTaq i.'s Profile

Apparently the person who reviewed the Hustler store before me expected donkeys, trapezes and pythons covered in KY , ready to perform body cavity searches. Geez. okay, its not a full service sex shop, but he made it seem like you could not even buy a vibrator here. Which you can, by the way. But I dont think he wants his parent to know he is into that sort of stuff.
In fact, speaking of mom and dad, if i wanted to suggest a sex shop to my parents so they could keep their 36 year marriage sparky, I would send them here. Clean, well lit, and expensive.
Whats missing, and this may be a good thing or a bad thing , depending on your sleaze level, is dirty yellow linoleum floors. booths with tattered curtains. Clerks who prattle in some crazy foreign language on a portable phone, and then glare at you when you walk in. Freaky guys checking out your purchase and giving you a hopeful glance, like you are buying your Rabbit with him specifically in mind and want to try it out in the alley right then. Dust. An odd smell, like old thai food mixed with pinesol.
What you will find though, is a coffee shop, perfect for finding that special someone, reading a fetish magazine and sipping a latte. Just look at the cute guy sitting there, picture him in leather underwear, licking your 5 inch heels, then spanking you with a cute little flogger.
Your parents would *love* the coffee shop idea. Mom can order an expresso and just puzzle over why all of the lingerie has holes where the breasts should be, yet costs so much. Let her mull over whether it really is comfortable to wear a plastic-like PVC thing. hell, let her mull over wearing a thong at all.

Well, when your night of sunset strip boozing leaves you with the craving for cheese, eggs, toast, and more cheese, head to Dukes. You have approximately 1,453 breakfast items to choose from, and 895 lunch items. You are also guaranteed a waiter with the most current hairstyle at the Viper room and lots of sparrow tattoos who will meticulously take your order on  the back of match book, and call you both *man* and *dude* in the same sentence.
Being sat at long tables next to people that you dont know that smell like whiskey, smoke, and cheap perfume is an odd feeling. It is almost like a latter day rock and roll thanksgiving day feast, with the trendster Indies as the pilgrims, and the Hollywood sleazy rockers as the Indians.
The food is great, even if ingesting even half a plateful causes your cholesterol to raise 29 points. I  have decided i never want to visit the womens lavatory, because a lot of the tragically self conscious gals in the joint are most liking vomiting up their omelettes in there.
Service is fast.A lot of the things on the menu have mushrooms, which is a plus if you love them, as i do. Another note, this place has **FABULOUS* ice. Not cubes, but the slightly rough crushed variety that keep your drink cold and can be swallowed in the process of drinking. i find that the large, dense ice cubes push out of the glass and against your nose when you sip a drink. And I hate that.

Whats funny, is that you pretentious LA types call this a dive. Apparently you havent been to a REAL dive bar, resplendent with sawdust on the floor, patrons missing front teeth, the movie roadhouse playing on a tv with rabbit ears for inspiration, and NO doorman. You just *have to know* someone to walk in. But , being a Bostonian,I realize you Califfornians have a weak constitution...so yeah, you call this a dive.
First , cigarette machine is GREAT, because no matter how many times someone calls Hollywood a nightlife hub, there simply arent any convenience. stores in sight. (apparently, convenience. in the form of smokes and gum is a dirty little secret the west coast likes to sweep under the carpet..)
Second of all, the bartenders are friendly, and clueless. They learned somewhere that if you cannot properly mix a cocktail, just add more liquor! Works for me.
One major issue is the lighting. It is BRIGHT, as in what bright is to what dark is @the burgundy room. This feature is not a welcome one if you are looking for a date....but is VERY welcome if you are looking for an alternative form of birth control.

I have only visited pepes on friday or saturday nights, to see the bands. i have never eaten here, because i try not to ingest 11,450 calories in one meal, as one does when eating mexican food. But the band thing, wow. This place used to be a crowded, broken down dive bar, with great acoustics...but then they must have had a general contractor marry into the family, or run up a gambling debt with them, because he increased the space by 4 and decreased the acoustics by 71%. Now , pepes is a huge EMPTY bar, with a light up dance floor that was obviously imported from a strip club that went out of business in redlands.
If you want to go watch three meth addicted women who look 56 but are most likely only 25, a couple of gangbanger looking guys , who, inexplicably, bring along skinheads in their posse, get drunk and dance, this is the place. And yes, even the most hard core skin/punk/hardcore whatever guys get on the dance floor and SHAKE IT BABY! to crappy covers of "it's getting hot in herre", if they drink enough.

As far as the  LA goth/industrial scene goes, this is as bad as it gets. Thats why I go here a lot. To people watch, run some bitter social commentary, observe patrons get screwed up on false absinthe, and then think they want to get spanked by some pro floggers.
There is most def. a crowding issue here. It is one of the few dark events on Saturdays, and you are waiting in line for everything. Some of the people have a pretentious thing going on, but I think most are too drunk, or too into trying to fit in, that it is a struggle to maintain a friendly visage
. Smokers patio with fountain-side bar is great,. because, yes, you can drink and smoke.And glare at people, while you watch the band. And , go ahead, start dancing if the music moves you.Most of the audience gets all disgusted.
I love the go go dancers, they are coke skinny, and have great outfits.
The actual dance floor is tiny, but dont worry, goths dont dance up on you anyhow. There are dj issues most weeks, and some dont know how to blend songs, or what to play.
I will not say anything about the fetish activity upstairs. I will leave that to you, gentle reader, to see for yourself.
Watch out for wing injuries. LOTS of girls and boys here wear wings.
Also, watch out for your pot belly sporting high school science teacher, dressed in a leather BDSM outfit. I did not know that, and saw mine.Whats worse, he remembered me.
If you are new to the scene or new in town, try Malediction on Sunday nights. Much friendlier, top notch music, and overall , more authentic.

Ever heard the saying about the "ugly lights" coming on in the bar? Well, it WILL NOT happen here. It is so dark you cannot see a dragqueen in a day glow orange jumpsuit, even if she hit in you in the head. Not that there are drag queens frequenting the Burgundy room, but you never know, especially in Hollywood. Like I said, its dark. Everyone looks great, even the little guy who we thought was Kevin Federline. If it was him, he didnt even look greasy, thats how dim it is. Anyhow, great bar. Hot chick bartenders on the weekends with zero attitude and nice dirty jokes. You can hear Skid Row played by a DJ, and he even had a Death song that I requested. Bathrooms are tiny, and make you realize that whole NYE resolutions about losing weight, if you have one. We have been going here for years, and love to watch people that arent familiar with the place look all new and stuff. So, newbies, the bathrooms really are 25 feet from the front door. The sinks are outside of the bathrooms. And dont let the mirrors fool you, the place really is the size of a master bedroom in an obnoxious tract home. Great drinks, fresh tap beer, doorguy is cool to talk to, and most patrons will strike up/join conversations, especially if it involves indie bands, drinking, internet gaming,drinking or beautiful women. Great place to go. Very Hollywood, right down to the 45 male prostitutes you have to navigate through outside.