Kelly "Yelp Oprah" S.'s Profile

During the deluge of 2012 (which happened today), we dashed into hopdoddy to find it astoundingly empty. Well almost but gloriously, no line empty. So we stepped right up, ordered our primetime burgers ($12!) and grabbed a maine root.

Our order was up quickly as you might imagine. Two glorious glistening burgers with fluffy buns and a side of fries. I'm a condiment gal so I had all four lined up ready for some serious dipping. The burger was delectable, no surprise there. And we had a great time chatting with Jackson, high fiver extraordinaire.

The place filled up around noon so be warned that you really should get there before lunch hours to have the full non waiting experience. Ten people were out the door when I sauntered to my car with a doggie bag and no small measure of satisfaction.

I've only been to Perla's three times in my seven years in Austin. Gasp! Shock! Awe! Each time for different things. Once for late night drinks, once for happy hour and once for brunch.

My impressions? A little spendy and a little slow but it's nice for a splurge-y drink or classy meeting. The drinks have always been delicious. The paloma has a big slice of fresh grapefruit, the Ravens Feather involves blackberry liquer and prosecco and their drink of the day is inevitably creative. My one food experience -- brunch -- was outstanding. A heaping mound of crab atop griddled english muffins with a roasted tomato and spinach. The eggs were perfectly poached. You will die over this dish -- and after a $10 drink, your bill is about $28.

The servers are always super nice, the patio of course is to die for but you'll need to shell out some clams if you want to eat here.

Don't be fooled as I was. The reviews will look good. You will see that they have "huge dungeness crab" and "garlic noodles" and hop in a taxi to go halfway across town. You will wait and hope that it's as fabbbb as you think. But it wont be.

Single tear.

We needed a pick me up and thought that we'd splurge a little. A bowl of garlic noodles and a crab, please sir. The crab came fried (though I swear we ordered steamed) and it was just eh. Lackluster, oily, fry-y. And the garlic noodles were good but just garlic noodles, nothing to cross town for. And the service was abominable. I mean, I had to get up and find the server three times for simple things like silverware, water refill, sriracha.

I think perhaps the planets were mis-aligned that day considering our hotel stay was wonky as well but I was dismayed that the reviews were so overwhelmingly positive when our experience was so underwhelming.

Dear Sullys:

PLEASE give me the recipe for that guacamole. I'll do anything. Also, your pulled pork sliders, ahi tuna tacos and brisket MuST make its way back onto my palate.

What other place has tequila on tap? Seriously. I felt like wheezin the juice right there. Between the delectable food, the open air tables and the incredible tequila drinks, I'm a sullys fan 4 lyfe.

Love,
Kelly

Let's just say that I've been to San Francisco four times. And each time I've ended up on the bar at Butter.

I think that really speaks for itself.

Here we go. Undoubtedly I will be shunned and called a filthy McDonalds eater for this review but I gotta spit the truth, yo. And it's not bad! I promise.

I loved walking up to CDL. The lush garden, beautiful trees and the rain coming down made me feel like I'd stepped out of the urban jungle into the real rainforest. I came fully prepared for the one dish ordering deal and the paying at the counter.

So we got our $12 meal -- cauliflower soup, salad, and a plate of zesty onions, polenta, beans and a roasted beet and zucchini concoction. It was a decent size for $12 so I tucked in. And it was all bland bland bland. I know, no salt. Sodium's bad for you. No pepper. Because, well I dont know why. The only thing on our table was sesame. Surely there's a natural alternative that adds some spice/flavor/anything to the dishes. The beans did have enough flavor so basically i created a process whereby I'd get one or two beans, then add the rest of the stuff onto my spoon, flavoring the other items with whatever was in the beans.

At the very end of the meal, this girl rolled up with a thing of soy sauce and my lunch partner and I practically accosted her. Of course, at that point we'd already eaten most of our meals. I love the feel good vibe of this place and the knowledge that I'm not eating a bunch of bad preservative, hormone laden food but for all those folks accustomed to spicy/salty/sweet/yummy, be prepared that your meal may fall far short of what tickles those tastebuds.

We didn't get to eat in the Kitchen but we did get to sample their catered wares in the small side room.

We were there for Girlfriend's Weekend and it was our first night in Sonoma. Travel weary and not knowing what to expect, the EDK welcomed us with truffle and arugula pizza, these incredibly creamy cheeses and ahi tuna wonton tacos.

It set the tone for our whole trip, these delicious decadent bites. My only regret is that I didnt get the chance to eat in the main restaurant. If they can work that kind of magic on the catering side of things then I can only imagine what delights find their way to your table.

How can you NOT go to a place called the Sunflower Caffe? It speaks of big bright sunny days and happy foodstuffs. So after passing by it each night with promises that we'd stop in, we actually DID stop in.

If we weren't already all sharers, we would have been forced to become so at this cute litte "caffe." The food was so fresh and delicious, IF spendy. I've spent $25 on brunch before but it usually includes bottomless mimosas and a buffet.

Of course I had to order the burrata. You guys KNOW I can't resist burrata in all its creamy amazingness and I wanted the girls to experience it. We were exclaiming over said amazingness when our meals arrived. I had the bay shrimp salad, which overflowed with baby skrimps and rich, citrusy, herby flavor. A great choice and a pretty large portion. I also got to snag a bite of the frittata and the avocado and goat cheese sandwich and experienced a frission of food envy.

We left, stuffed, happy, and if a little light in the ol' wallet, it IS California after all.

The Swiss Hotel is just like what it sounds, er, like. Not that we got to see the rooms but you could pick this place up and put it in the Alps and the only people who would bat an eye are the folks who saw the teleportation.

It's exactly what I imagine a swiss skiing lodge is like. It's all dark wood and narrow bars and a small patio. We came in for the coffee drink and weren't disappointed by the high octane deliciousness. In fact, that *might* have been responsible for my being awake in a weirdly acute state all night. Or it could have been the other 42 drinks I laid my hands on.

Either way, ya gotta stop in and get the glariffee. It's a glazed Irish coffee. I THINK. And the reason I THINK this is they've held the secret of this coffee near and dear to their hearts for something silly like 100 years. Only two people know it. And that, my friends, si that secret to making something awesome.

Two stars for having what I wanted. Minus three for being a jerk and making fun of me. So I get that this world is commercially driven and that having the latest gadget is important in your social cred.

But when I come to Radio Shack frustrated because I'm looking for an adapter for my headphones and the clerk starts making fun of me for having a 3Gs (How LONG  have you had that? You should trade it in. Does that even work?) it makes my hackles rise.

He clearly wanted me to feel bad enough to trade in my phone. Even if I had felt abashed at having (gasp!) a 2 year old iphone, I wouldn't trade it in here if it was my last option.