Jason B.'s Profile

"Where This White Boy Wouldn't Be Caught Dead At Night Tour '09" rolls on with a stop at Jaquin's Mexican Grill (http://www.yelp.com/bi...).

Jaquin (http://www.yelp.com/bi..., http://www.yelp.com/bi...) hit a strong stand-up triple (that's a baseball reference) with their carne asada, breakfast and chicken burritos. All three were buff, thick-ass burritos. Not only that, they serve smoothies!

Carne asada burrito (with beans and cheese only) # 60 -
http://www.yelp.com/bi...

Breakfast burrito # 77 - http://www.yelp.com/bi...

Chicken burrito (with beans and cheese only) # 9 -
http://www.yelp.com/bi...

Instead of mariachi music being played, they were playing some Spanish chanting songs. The girl behind the counter was singing/humming along and it was rather...soothing. It was a nice change of pace from the usual sounds of an accordion, tuba and some drunk guy yelling for no apparent reason.

Coliman (http://www.yelp.com/bi...) has hit it out of the park with three great burritos. Their carne asada, breakfast and chicken burritos were all more than good enough to put them at the top my BEST IN SD list. Before we get to those details, let me mention two other small things first.

They have a Sno Kone machine here but there was no Sno being made. Also, there was a woman (who was here all three times that I visited) sitting a few tables away who was sporting a pretty nasty scowl on her face. She was either really angry or was just the victim of some botched plastic surgery and that's just how she looked.

Breakfast burrito # 76 -  http://www.yelp.com/bi...

Thick-ass burrito packed with bacon, eggs and cheese. They come with fries, so I thought it would be wise to pass and say SHOVE THOSE FRIES UP YO ASS! If you're at all concerned about your health, you WILL NOT attempt to eat this thing in one sitting. Split it with a loved one (or some one that you're at least indifferent with) because it's too much food. Really.

Carne asada burrito (with beans and cheese only) # 59 -
http://www.yelp.com/bi...

Awesome carne asada and beans. Another thick-ass burrito that was damn near perfect.

Chicken burrito (with beans and cheese only) # 8 -  http://www.yelp.com/bi...

This place now holds the title of having the best chicken (grilled, not shredded) burrito around. I know, I'm only at number 8 so I'm guessing this will change but they cook it just the way I like it.

High-quality thick-ass burritos are being served RIGHT NOW at Coliman's Mexican Food. Hey, the pictures don't lie.

Man, Coliman - you got it goin' on!

I gotta admit, I ate at Goodtimes (http://www.yelp.com/bi...) on three separate occasions (though I was here a fourth time accompanying some friends) during my stay in Idyllwild. You know, sample the local "cuisine" while keeping the local economy going and flowing. I was kinda let down though when I realized that this place had no tie-in to the show "Good Times" from the 70's. Kid Dy-No-Mite was no where to be found on the premises. Sigh.

Anyway, they have a fairly decent breakfast here. Pancakes, bacon, eggs (http://www.yelp.com/bi...) and hash browns (http://www.yelp.com/bi...) - that's what I had to have. One bite of the hash browns and I pushed the plate away - they were not very good. The 'cakes were huge and mighty fine. While there, they played Sarah McLachlan's greatest hits which was cool since I like her in a very sexual way AND her music. No, I have not masturbated while thinking of her while on the toilet at Sears. Kohl's, well, that's another story.

During my fourth trip, I had some difficulty convincing them that the person that they saw earlier in the day wasn't me. They wouldn't accept my explanation that it was my slightly less evil twin, Chauncey Skillet III.

Their burger (http://www.yelp.com/bi...) was passable as were the fries. They claimed to have "the best burger on the hill." If this is the best, I'd hate to eat the crap that's served at one of those other places in town. The service was very personable. There was this old guy named Joe (at least that's what it said on his belt) who walked up to two women and practically sat on their table. See, I didn't know he worked there so I just though he was some local oldie who was hitting on them and about to throw his sack at them like a fishing lure.

If you have a fear of bikers, you might not like this place as they get a few stray ones as they pass through town. Don't worry, they'll leave you alone as long as you don't make fun of their leather outfits and accuse them of being homosexual. Especially don't bend over one of their bikes while yelling out loud, "Do me in the butt, Gus!" If you're idiotic enough to do something like that, just make sure you have a car waiting for you nearby.

The way I did.

Welcome back friends to another exciting installment of...

"Where This White Boy Wouldn't Be Caught Dead At Night Tour '09"

Old Cotijas (http://www.yelp.com/bi...). Should Old Cotijas be put out to pasture to make way for the new young upstarts in the taco shop industry? This report may shock and horrify you. Alright, chances are it won't but it MIGHT make you somewhat hungry.

To set the mood, there's a car wash next door that was pumping some funky sh*t by Ice Cube. Also, when you're done washing your ride, they have a display of rims out front that are for sale. How convenient is that? Also, Old Cotijas (http://www.yelp.com/bi...) is perfect target practice for anyone driving across Imperial so keep moving after dark.

O.C. has really good carne asada but I'm not a big fan of their beans because they were too "paste-like." I mentioned this to the guy behind the counter and he said "that's the way people like them." Ok, then.

Carne asada burrito (with beans and cheese only) # 58 - http://www.yelp.com/bi...

Their breakfast burrito is a thick-ass burrito and, while it definitely wasn't one of the best that I've had, you get a lot for your dough.

Breakfast burrito # 75 - http://www.yelp.com/bi...

Should Old Cotijas be put out of its misery? Despite it's obvious age, Old Cotijas deserves a place in the world and quite possibly yours. But if not, who gives a crap.

At The Eggery (http://www.yelp.com/bi...), there's something different about their eggs. I could actually taste the difference between theirs and the other places that I've been to. It was quite unexpected like seeing a midget prostitute walking the streets of La Jolla. The difference? I dunno.

I came to The Eggery (breakfast spot # 26), for some breakfast and ordered my semi-usual pancakes, bacon and eggs. While I like and know that wheat pancakes (http://www.yelp.com/bi...) are better for you than regular buttermilk, I know (taste-wise) I prefer buttermilk. The wheats were still good though. I ordered two of them which was WAY too much even for this gluttonous fool.

The bacon (http://www.yelp.com/bi...) was like crispy strips of (primarily) fat. It almost had the texture of pork rinds and I'm only guessing about that since I've never had one in my life. I've had one in my hand but couldn't bring myself to put it in my mouth. Oddly enough, some women that I've dated in the past could say the exact same thing about my penis. Rim job, I mean, rim shot please!

An annoying girl sat down nearby and blabbed on and on and on about her busy life. She also made 10 different requests in regards to her order. Her voice made me want to see how far I could put the handle of my spoon up my nose. She answered her phone at least 5 TIMES while I was there. It's situations like these where I wish I could've pulled a Darth Vader and choked her out (not fatally) by using the Force.

Sweet dreams, pumpkin!

Huffman's (http://www.yelp.com/bi...) has been around for 42 years. Sketchy area - even during the day. It's next door to a 97 Cent store ("99 Cents? Oh yeah? Well, we're TWO CENTS better than YOU!") which had a lot of interesting individuals hanging around outside. If you ever need to study the art of "hollering" then come here as classes are every afternoon. Enroll today and hollah tomorrah!

I love BBQ and if there's anything that I can do to speed up my death, then I'm all for it (provided it tastes good and she doesn't have a probably with my lack of girth). I knew what I wanted before I was even dropped off by some truckers: beef ribs. Inside (http://www.yelp.com/bi...), the place was more or less empty. I checked out the menu (http://www.yelp.com/bi...) to see how this was all going to go down. Beef ribs and fries is what I told the woman (40ish?) behind the counter who was almost too thin but had a huge rack. Of ribs. For anyone who was interested.

The fries (http://www.yelp.com/bi...) were straight outta Orida They were not alrighta though they did find a new home in the trash. Please avoid these things in the future. The beef ribs (http://www.yelp.com/bi...) had very little meat on them which, I guess, had to make room for all the fat that I found on them. They were drowned in sauce which was barely warm. I had their damn sauce all over my face and hands so bring a face mask or something because that sh*t doesn't come off too easily.

You need a key to use the bathroom which wasn't the easiest thing to do since I still had a good amount of sauce still all over my hands - I wiped off as much as I could with the napkins that were given to me. No napkins or paper towels are at the table because you might actually need them.

In the bathroom, you have to keep one hand pressed down on the faucet handle otherwise it will only stay on for about a second. There are no paper towels in the bathroom so just do what I did and wipe your hands on the wall.

My meal was summed up perfectly by this item (http://www.yelp.com/bi...) which really tells the whole story.

The Night & Day Cafe (which was breakfast spot # 25 for those playing along at home) (http://www.yelp.com/bi...) is open 24/7 and has been around for over 55 YEARS. The seating is extremely limited so you shouldn't even consider coming here on a weekend morning (unless it's 3 AM and you're waiting for your Grandmother to come down from her meth binge). At the counter (which only seats 10-15), you face the grill (which is MAYBE 5 feet away) and pray to God that the cook doesn't fart in your general direction (http://www.yelp.com/bi...).

All of their breakfast food (and almost everything else) is made from scratch at N & D. Eggs, bread, milk, and cheese come in daily and are bought locally. I ordered one pancake (I was going to get two though I was warned they're pretty big), hash browns (which are shredded on-site) and eggs (http://www.yelp.com/bi...).

The pancake (http://www.yelp.com/bi... ) was great (and yes, huge). I was told that the Navy SEAL boys come and order two which they have no problem finishing. The hash browns (http://www.yelp.com/bi... ) were good though I should've asked for them crispy crispy.

The service. Well, I was the only person in here so I had the full-attention of Rose the entire time. We talked for a good hour about biking, hiking, the beach, food and dogs. Don't expect to have the same type of experience that I had but you won't know until you go.

The difference between the Beach N Diner (which is a few blocks down from here) and this place is, well, Night & Day (http://www.yelp.com/bi...). Sorry, but I couldn't resist.

The water that I was given taste like some left-over cleaning detergent had not been completely washed off. Or perhaps San Diego has some really funky tasting tap water?

Nice vibe at this place. They were playing a live rock en espanol CD by some band that I didn't recognize. Whoever it was, the crowd was going apesh*t for them between songs.

The woman who took my order looked to be maybe in her 50's but you could tell she was SMOKING HOT back in the day. She was very pleasant and had a very warm smile.

I ordered a chicken burrito and they gave me a thick-ass chicken burrito in return. It turned out to be a bit too oily and it didn't knock my socks off like I had hoped. The black beans were pretty good, though.

Chicken burrito with (black) beans and cheese only # 3 - http://www.yelp.com/bi...

I'll be back to try something else provided the owners don't file a restraining order against me for wondering what that woman looked like naked 20 years ago. Don't tell them!

Spending a few hours on Silver Strand State Beach picking up trash (http://www.yelp.com/bi...) can make a guy pretty hungry. After completing my court-ordered community service (this is what happens when you run naked through the Del Mar Fair for 25 minutes before getting tasered in the groin), I asked The Woman That I'm Currently Married To what she'd like for lunch. Before she could answer, I suggested the BBQ place by the Ferry Landing. She gave me the nod of approval and we were on our way.

After sitting down and being asked what I would like, my first question would be the beginning of the end at LPB. Do you guys have beef ribs? The answer - no. Sigh. Well, we ordered a full portion of beef brisket, a plate of fries and two cobs of corn. As far as alcohol, if you like (love?) beer, then this place has a wide selection (http://www.yelp.com/bi...) that will definitely prove to you and your friends that you might be an alcoholic.

Our food arrived shockingly fast (which sometimes is a bad sign) but I didn't care because I was starving like an Ethiopian from the early 90's. The beef brisket was totally blah and it had WAY too much fat on it. Even with their BBQ sauce it didn't make it any better. The corn on the cob didn't taste good AT ALL as it had such an odd taste that it stopped me in my tracks after the first bite. It also might've been previously frozen. Though the following photo may LOOK delicious, the food itself was far from it (http://www.yelp.com/bi...). The fries weren't all that great either but we ate them only because we were hungry and they were the one truly edible thing  (http://www.yelp.com/bi...).

I looked at TWTICMT in disbelief when I heard some guy at the table next to us tell the server that the food was "excellent." Wow - they lace their food with crack and I didn't even get any? Hey, I eat burritos all the time, so what do I know about good BBQ?

Our server asked if we wanted dessert. Did I kill some people in a past life or something?

Lil' Pig(gy) Lil' Pig(gy), let me in! Let me in?! I couldn't wait to get the hell AWAY from this place!

TWTICMT was not pleased that I brought her here. As we walked back to our car, I told her that it's all about taking a chance on a new place. She told me she didn't care and punched me in the throat in front of two small children. They laughed at me while I rolled around on the ground gasping for air.

It's true - the "Where This White Boy Wouldn't Be Caught Dead At Night Tour 2009" continues! This time, I made another stop in the Barrio (Logan) and made new friends at La Dona (http://www.yelp.com/bi...).

This place has an interesting thing going - Mexican food AND smoothies (http://www.yelp.com/bi...). As much as I love smoothies, I'm only here for one thing and it's for the food part.

The girl who brought my food (who is/was kinda hawt) didn't even look at me when she brought my food. She finally did though when it was time to pay up. I'm sure she felt an attraction to me that was so intense that she couldn't even bring herself to look at me. Yeah, right! This was on my first visit which was for their breakfast burrito.

Breakfast burrito # 73 - http://www.yelp.com/bi...

They have a good one that's for sure! It comes with potatoes (or should I say, french fries) so I passed on those - just bacon, egg and cheese.

My second trip was for their carne asada. It was a different woman who served me this time and I unexpectedly ordered in Spanish (which I'm capable of doing if someones English isn't all that great).

Carne asada burrito (with beans and cheese only) # 56 - http://www.yelp.com/bi...

Damn - two for two! This place has excellent carne asada AND beans. The guy in the kitchen really knows how to work some magic. I wish I would've asked about their chicken but I'll swing back through one of these days and find out.

If you try to use a credit or ATM card they will laugh in your face because they only take cash. In fact, everyone (even the customers) will stand up, point and laugh at you for trying to pull that crap with them.