Rhett "Combat cold cut" G.'s Profile

I've avoided writing a review of this place for a while... since... when I needed a motorcycle spot the last thing I needed was anymore competition which I'm sure my abundant followers would provide.

Now that I'm walking to work, screw you all.

So, my relationship with Kaplan Ln motorcycle parking has been very mixed. It's loving embrace has kept my commute cheap for several years. But it hasn't always been good to me.

I've lost one motorcycle back here. True, it was a good excuse to get a new one, but finding your motorcycle flattened by some large truck when you're ready to ride home is never nice. Whoever you are truck driver, I curse you. May you experience daily blowouts and you lose your dick to a truck stop whore.

Also, these days with metered parking almost as expensive as parking a car in a garage, the demand for the free parking is a little extreme. If you get there after 9:30 you're pretty much out of luck. There was a town hall meeting at some point about adding meters back there which will no doubt close that budget gab... greedy rich motorcycle riders you.... so Kaplan Ln legacy may be short-lived.

If you can afford it, the Mascone lot is like $6 a day. Open 24hrs. Way safer.

Ok. Not as expensive as I was expecting considering the other reviews. But they are still tweaking their menu, so perhaps they took the feedback.

Burger was ok. ACME buns... actually the burger reminded me a lot of ACME Burgerhaus but without the premium options (or $2 beer).

The schnitzle actually looked really good. I'd probably try that if I went again. The chicken pot pie is apparently delicious, but I'm just not ready to be a pot pie guy. That's basically it since the menu (for lunch anyway) is pretty small.

They have a full bar, but the selection looked pretty limited. Unless of course you require Coors on tap, which they have.

The biggest downside was how SLOW the food was coming out. The service otherwise was friendly, but they need to straighten the kitchen out.

We rolled up to this place in style... 9 guys pouring out of a limo. (I'm going to try not to comment on how strange it is to pile out of a limo to go to a bar in a strip mall)

When we got to the door (which inexplicably is manned by about 4 security dudes, not sure what they were expecting) there were three blond chicks in front of us,

"Wow, you 9 guys only brought 3 chicks"
"Well strippers are expensive.." says one of our guys.

They got pissed.

But not that pissed, because later on they were in our limo acting like strippers.

Oh yeah, and hourglass.... ok place.
No Jameson ("No Irish Whiskey!" says the bartender) and he had to go to the kitchen to find me some of that fine Jim Beam.

Booze selection aside, the bartenders were friendly, and the patio is a pleasant enough place to hang out. I stayed away from the dance floor with the Windows Media Player visualization running the party. But if you're in to that sort of thing, they have it.

I didn't expect much from a "Scottish Hooters", but my god, could this place be any shittier ?

Our bartender looked so confused trying to figure out how to make four of the same drink at a time I felt bad for him. Allegedly he was "training", but seriously, the outlook is grim for this meathead.

My buddy ordered a Guinness. I didn't try it, but my kean sense of sight very quickly picked up that the head was JUST-NOT-RIGHT. I don't know how you make a Guinness do that, but I want no part of it. Thankfully they have bottles of Shiner Bock.

On the plus side, it was ladies night. And there were ladies, all of whom had likely been there for 4hrs and looked it. Unfortunately they were just scary.

Hey at least I didn't get knifed !

I came here for a quick car wash, but I left with so much more.

I'll admit I got upsold something fierce, but my car looks awesome. Full wash and wax in just 30 minutes. Solid work.

+1 Star for the salt water aquarium in the waiting room
-1 Star for the giant REMAX commercial staring me down

In dire need of a cure for my chest cold I found this place just down the street from my parent's house.

Very clean, very easy. I was in and out with a minimal amount of pain with a nice round of antibiotics.

Staff was friendly and pleasant, not all stressed out and annoyed like most urgent care centers. Wait was short and I didn't feel like I was going to catch worse stuff from the other patients. Highly recommend if you're in the area.

15 Years ago I went with my grandfather to a Kinkos in our home town for him to get a passport photo so he could travel to China.

Today, I have come to get a passport photo for my visa application, so I could travel to China.

Of course, I'm not an official guest of the Chinese government as he was, but still, some sort of circle seems complete.

Thanks to a nice bit of investigative journalism by the Chronicle (http://www.sfgate.com/...) a buddy and I managed to find our way to the "public" space on top of the Westfield mall.

I say "public" in quotes because they clearly don't want to make it easy. More of a bullet point on some planning document that a legitimate effort at providing some public service. But whatever, the secrecy was half the fun.

Not a bad place to eat your lunch. Especially on a sunny day. Pretty good views, and of course it was mostly empty. But be prepared for a security guard that isn't really that thrilled that someone took them up on the offer. You have to use a special elevator and everything.

Car washing is a pretty big industry in Bakersfield. Something about that dust filled air that you can see swirling around the valley creates quite the demand for bi-weekly car washing.

Being used to Shell/Chevron-class automatic car washes, this place really blew me away. My mom had an express card, that she just pre-pays for car washes and it's all configured with what options you want. Swipe and go.

The robotic arms, sprayers and brushes were fast and thorough. My car came out looking like it was hand washed. But of course I had to leave town within the hour for it to stay that way for long.

Great place to grab some food and beer. Checked it out with my parents for lunch on a monday, which was pretty slow, but it looks like it could be a pretty happening place on a Saturday night.

Fire department theme is pretty cool. Really great photos of bakersfield fire fighter history on the walls. Lots of other misc firefighter stuff hanging on the walls.

Theme aside, this looks to be a pretty good pool hall as well. I guess it's owned by the same guy as Corner Pocket (which, probably not coincidently, also has a barstool store next door...) I didn't get a chance to play here, but the tables look pretty nice, but since it's brand new so I suppose it should.

Food was pretty tasty. I had the "Commander's" chicken sandwich, which thankfully had tasty bbq sauce and bacon. Burgers looked pretty good too. Definitely recommend the fries.

Beer selection was pretty awesome. They've got Stone IPA on tap, which makes them a winner in my book.

I'll have to try this place again when I'm in town, potentially could earn another star if the atmosphere doesn't suck when there are people around.