Clarence "Respect MY Authorit-ay!" V.'s Profile

1/2 price happy hour until 8pm, imperial pints, what's not to love?  Keegans mothers milk and old speckled hen on tap makes Clarence a happy boy!

A diverse cast of characters for the East Village (not like the other nearby bars on the block that look like they're crossing the street from StyTown ).

Bar stools, booths and tables a plenty, get here early to claim hour spot.

Clarence has been mistaking this place for a wine bar and never thought to venture in.  What a pleasant surprise when Clarence found out it was by the same people behind Adrienne's.  Warm, friendly staff, great selection of continental Italian specialties and brick oven pizza (unfortunately did not have on this visit, but will try in the future).

Clarence had the frisee salad, the pasta a la Norma and the special soft shell crabs.  All winners!  The Peroni on draft tasted so refreshing as an apertif and the bottle of Gavi sealed the meal.

Who would have thought BPC has any good restaurants?  But this one is becoming one of Clarence's favorite places and a great alternative to some of the more crowded restaurants on Stone Street, and it's just across West Street!  Outdoor seating in the sunny weather is a plus and beautiful staff.

When Clarence is hungry and doesn't want his GFs cooking, he heads to Chipotle.  How can people NOT like Chipotle?  Why the backlash people?  It WAS owned by McDonald's during it's infancy but too many people still associate it with the same type of fast-food 'quality' as McDs.  

Clarence admits, when in Europe, he'll chow on McDs from Paris to Sweden, the burgers are much better and they serve Biere!

With all this talk from people that only burritos made in the Mission District are for real, Clarence says BS.  It don't matter where it's made from, it matters how it TASTES.  And with the fresh ingredients from the salsas, the  non-GMO beans, the meats that don't have antibiotics.  You get fresh, whole ingredients, no processed crap and the guacamole absolutely kicks ass!  Chunky and not a MIX!

Clarence says RELAX burrito snobs.  CHIPOTLE KICKS ARSE, and the financial district locations are so close Clarence can walk there PJs.

Clarence hasn't been yelping much but that's because Clarence got a girlfriend!  And yes, Clarence is steady and Clarence is loyal to her (she's awesome and gorgeous!).  Anyway, why is Clarence mentioning this in a review of the Caroline?  Because Clarence's girlfriend lives in the Caroline.  

This building is like living in the Financial District in terms of the amenties: tenant lounge with wifi, billiards room, game room (where Clarence can do Wii Fit), a sick roof terrace for sunbathing and even brunch on some Sundays!  White glove doorman service; they stop Clarence every time he tries to sneak in to visit his lovely, Clarence must be announced, so the security is top notch.

While Clarence is still very happy living in his party palace in the Financial District (Murray Hill types STAY AWAY!  don't ruin a good thing!), if he had to move, he would choose the Caroline because it of the awesome central location and steps to Madison Square Park and the Shake Shack!.  One star off because the NYHRC gym downstairs isn't included, but it is half price for tenants.

If you want to live  here, Clarence recommends you use his favorite broker (read my previous review on Eddie Fabz) the landlord only works with a few select brokers and does not work with the public direct.

And by the way, the Caroline has the HOTTEST talent living here, Clarence's real estate broker said there are something like 70% single ladies there, CRAZY!  Almost like my building in Financial District!

This is my fave restaurant in the Stone Street area, a step above in every way..a stone's throw from my awesome apartment and a great place to take dates.

The bartenders all know me by name and I must say, they are mighty fine.  I need to go there more often without a date, because it's like bringing sand to the beach with all the talent that's in the house!

Meh....at best.  The cheese doesn't taste like mozzerella...more like polly-oh...but not real polly-oh.

But the crust is better than most.  

Line goes out the door at lunch time though....

Nude men....nude women.

Ok, maybe not full frontal nude...but definitely swimsuit ready!

Great clothes and budget prices....Clarence loves the styles and the fits work perfectly for Clarence's pecs and tear-drop shaped quads.

Clarence loves the compliments he gets from ladies (and even gay men) when he's out on the town or hanging at the lounge of my awesome apartment building!

Clarence loves the French.  Clarence love French cuisine...but NOT the French attitude or the French prices.

Balthazar delivers EXCELLENT brasserie classics -- from the breads, steak frites, raw plateau royales, etc. --  with the excitement, energy and fun of being in Paris (the second best city du monde besides Manhattan).

Have taken five dates/paramours here and we enjoyed sexy time at the end of each night/early morning.....this place does not disappoint.

Clarence is just sayin' (to quote the infamous Michael F.

Alright, except when all the Goldman Sachs blue-shirts are taking over. The beers and the pub food is pretty good on a weekend too!  Clarence even gets a few digits from pretty lasses every week!

Look for me there...Clarence is usually double-fisting, except on Wednesday and Thursdays when the blue shirts try to take over my turf....that's when Clarence goes into stealth mode and goes to his other secret pub.

WOW, the real estate market has tanked!  Rents are down....and Clarence was SO TIRED and BORED of living in Weekhauken, NOO JOISEY.  

So last Spring Clarence GOOGLED 1BR apartments in downtown (because Clarence doesn't do NYC above 23 Street)...and Clarence found some listings from Mark David & Company.

Clarence contacted various agents from their website from the apartments Clarence liked and Clarence got the quickest response from Edward F. (he's also on Yelp)...but I call him EDDIE FABz.  FABz was responsive, open (even gave me the address to the place Clarence asked about) and FABz was very chill, even funny!.  

When Clarence met FABz at his office, a HUGE loft in the heart of Soho, FABz was personable and listened to what I wanted.  I even joked he had "Charazzzma".  FABz listened to my wants and needs -- lots of space, good amenities (Clarence needs a gym, tenant lounge, roofdeck to sunbathe in his speedo and a scene to scope out the babes like in Weehauken).

Clarence said East Village, LES but FABz said to keep an open mind and showed me what was available in the database and what they can work with other brokers.  I wanted to see 50 places first but FABz said we will see 6.  After meeting in their office for 45 minutes, we went out and saw the apartments FABz selected.  Two were East Village, but no amenities.  Two in LES in the heart of the nightlife but in walkups.  Finally, the last two were really amazing....and located way downtown in the Financial District.  

Clarence thought he couldn't do Financial District because of what people on Yelp are saying, Clarence was leary, BUT for the price, the luxury and the pretty ladies Clarence met in the tenants lounge, Clarence signed on the dotted line.  The building even gave Clarence cheaper rent as an incentive.

When Clarence reads about the babies on Yelp complaining about this area, Clarence says GOOD RIDDANCE...LEAVE YOU WRETCHED SLUGS!  More pretty ladies for Clarence to use his charazzma on.  

Clarence even has a few girlfriend experiences from living in the area, so many attractive ladies and I stand out from all the blue shirt wanna-be bankers that work in the area.

But back to FABz and Mark David & Company, Clarence says BRAVO.  They were professional, transparent, honest and Clarence highly recommends!.  Also recommend visiting their office when you work with them, they have some BONAFIDE hunnies in that loft.

WORD!