Geese "The Cheshire Cat" H.'s Profile

This is a tricky review.

These stores are definitely not as nice as, say, your Publix supermarket.  They are usually right by each other or at least in the general area.

So maybe this store is Less nice.  BUT the cheapness and the specials make this the place for me to come back to again and again.

Every isle has specials; 5 for 4 dollars, 10 for 10, and my favorite with my high proteinness: Buy 1 get 1 free in the meat isle, especially with things like chicken and pork and fish and beef...  Wait..  That's meat...
...

Nevermind.

Anyway I found this stuff, Publix has it too I think, I never saw this in Grocery stores before so either I'm blind as a bat OR this is something that MI grocery stores just did not have.

Near the Deli/Bakery part of the store where they sell In-Store made garlic bread they have these DIRT CHEAP bowls of garlic spread for sale.  This stuff is the cats-ass!  I eat high protein 6 days a week and mostly use a little oil or something to keep things from sticking to the pan.  This stuff is AWESOME!  And it must be semi healthy (maybe) because the next day I still weigh lighter and don't get the puffyness in my face from when I do my cheat day.

Now here's the third thing.  A little story; yes my reviews are long and hard but some people like it that way.

I went to this one the other day.  They had pork chops on sale - 2 for 1.  The sign was there in front of stacks of porkchops.  I grabbed a couple and went to the register.

*Beep*Beep*

Full price for both items.  I told the cashier about it.  She said there was no sticker on the items .  I say that I got them from a section where there was a clearly marked sign, item description and all.  She goes to check...

Of course she come back and says, "Nope... These aren't on sale."
I said, "Well are you sure, because there's a sign there and everything?"

It wasn't a big deal to me, really, I just know what I saw so I wasn't trying to be MR Difficult or anything.

She gets the manager.

I say, "Maybe I'm wrong, let's go look."

So we go and this manager lady comes with me.  Sure enough the sign is there.  There are more of the same porkchops sitting there.

Wait - this get's funny.

The sign in front of the porkchops, multiple signs actually, say in big red letters on a yellow background "BUY 1 GET 1 FREE"

The manager lady says, "No... these aren't buy 1 get 1 free."

I say, "Wait...  Look at the sign.  It says right on the sign..." and I read the sign and then read the package on the pork - same item.

She says, "No it's not."

I felt like I was in a Monty Python skit.

I'm like, "Read that sign.  What does it say?"

"Buy 1 get 1 free." she responds but she's getting a little hostile.

We go on like this for a couple minutes and she just starts getting nastier and nastier trying to convince me that "buy 1 get 1 free" doesn't mean buy 1 get 1 free.

I'm like, "I really don't have time to do all this argument nonsense.  I just wanted to show you this so that everyone that comes in doesn't have to spend 5 minutes arguing with you about porkchops."

She glares at me and spits, "I'm not arguing with you.  If I was arguing with you I would be raising my voice and I don't..."

"I don't want to argue with you about whether we're arguing or not.  And what's with all this hostility?" This was getting ridiculous.  I'm thinking, I just wanted to show her the sign, not have a 5 minute argument about porkchops.  I actually was ready to get something else when I walked back, I just wanted her to understand the mistake.

She starts talking about how she doesn't need to get hostile with me and argue because if she was she would...

More arguing.  Finally I was like, "Look, it would have been nice for you to say, 'Oh sorry, we must have made a mistake.' and then I would have got something else.  I'm trying to help you out so you don't have to have other customers come in and have 10 minute arguments about porkchops."

She starts rambling something else, all the while getting more ornery, so I cut her off.  I ask, "Do YOU have a manager?"

She almost screams at me that, yes she does.  She tells me his name and then calls for him, and then Guess what?  

She starts MOVING the porkchops away from the Buy One Get One free sign.  LOL!

And then when he gets there she slinks off without a word as if nothing happened.

But here's why I kept the good rating, maybe even bumped it up a star.  The Store Manager was cool as hell.  I explained what had happened and he actually listened patiently; said, "go ahead, there must be a mistake, grab the items you had and I'll take care of this, I'm sure you've had a long day...  You don't need this kind of problem."

He was like Kool and the Gang.  He followed me to the front of the store where I had my other items sitting at the self checkout, Insisted on ringing my stuff up and bagging it for me and off I went.   VERY COOL! 4 stars!

The end

For Pizza, this is Good Pizza delivery.  Not to mention that They were the only place I could find opened at 1pm on Sunday.

I was hungry and I wanted a pizza. My roommate had a few fliers of different places and It ended up being the plainest menu that I ordered from.  

The pizza was huge and the ingredients were fresh.  It had that indescribable flavor of good pizza that only certain Pizzas have, and I'm picky because when I was a young lad I actually worked at a brick oven pizza place.  

I can make a mean pizza, believe that.

So try this place.  Trust me.  The underdog is the guy to go with.

This is a Classic case of where customer service can make or break a place.  

I really only give 1 star to a place if I have a Terrible experience there and decide to never go back.

There are two Publix Supermarkets in the general vicinity of my apartment.  I was wondering what the deal was, so being a bit of an explorer I went out of my way to check this one out instead of the one closer to me.

I skated up there in my rollerblades, and went in.  I put them in my backpack and put on flip-flops.

Cool.

The first order of business; I had some western union money being sent to me.  They have one at the customer service part of every publix store.

I went up to the counter.  I waited in line for a second and asked for the slip to receive money and the lady working the counter instructed me they were out in the entrance to the Store.  That didn't make any sense but fine.  I went to get my slip, filled it out and went back to have to wait in the line again to conduct my business.  Now I was getting a funny feeling I sometimes get. Call it, rude people ESP.  I dunno but I can sense when people suck.  I'm not trying to be funny and I don't stereotype, I just have a sixth sense about these thing.

It really comes in handy, for instance.  One time I was walking through the city with my girl.  We pass this seedy looking guy who's standing on the street.  My girl had her purse over her shoulder opposite me.  We walk a block and a half and I just so happen to look back and see the seedy guy walking about 10 feet behind us on her side.

My arm was around her shoulder anyway so I nonchalantly gripped her purse handle then in the next moment I said, "Hey, check this out!" and turned us both to stop and look at some random building.  I was not watching the seedy guy the whole time, but I heard him mumble curses as he passed by us walking.

He kept going and soon when he was at a distance I told her what was going on.  We continued walking - but GUESS WHAT.  The vagrant guy stopped and leaned against a light pole and as we passed he glared at me.  I looked at him and said, "What's up bud!"

He said menacingly, "You don't gotta worry about me."

"I'm not worried about you," I replied as we walked by.

He KNEW I Knew.  How did he know unless he was paying attention to the same thing I was paying attention to?  He was pissed because I knew.

So back to Publix.  The line is down.  I'm next.  The customer ahead of me leaves and I begin to step up the the counter.

The lady says as if she's just saying it to any random customer even though I'm the only Western Union person in line, "Anyone with Western Union, the lines over here..."  And points to the other cashier who already has a customer.

Then the girl behind me goes to the counter to do her business. Still not that big of a deal.  Annoying, but not huge.

So finally I get to the other lady working the counter, a younger girl who was probably super popular in highschool and has been graduated 10 years.

I smiled and handed her my slip and my ID.  I do western union quite a bit and Publix requires an ID to do it.  My ID has been to parties, clubs, been lost, found, sent to me in my mailbox and all sorts of wonderfulness.  Let's just say it's bent up a bit and even has a little tape on it where it has ripped some.

No one ever, not even cops, gives me problems with it, though.  It's fine; totally readable, juse bent a little in places with one crack that I taped.

This girl says to me, "Why is your ID broken?"  She says it like she's Homeland Security or something.  The grocery store chick is asking me questions that don't concern her and not in a nice "just making conversation" kind of way.

I say, "Seriously?"

"Well your ID is broken," she exclaims.

"It's not broken.  No one else has asked me about my ID.  I do this all the time."  I informed her.

All hoity toihty she says to me, "No it is broken.  I just want to know how it got that way."

I'm thinking to myself, "Is this chick for real?"

"Look, I do this almost everyday and at several Publix.  No one has once asked me about my ID."  I was losing patience.

She said in a condescending tone, "We're not supposed to accept a broken ID but I'll do it for you this time."

Fed up, I was like, "That's not even a real rule.  You just made that up didn't you."

Her face flushed with red and she didn't say anything else.  She went to go do my transaction; but not before being sucky and ruining my mood a little.

So I got my money and went to Winn Dixie to by some food, right next door.

People reading this.  If you really want to shop at Publix, there is a much nicer one right around the corner from this one.

Here's the link:

http://www.yelp.com/bi...

It's no more than a mile away.  This store is terrible.

I like Publix supermarket.  This one in particular is right down the street from me.  The Staff there is friendly and they have a lot of fresh items to choose from.

Most of the Publix Supermarkets I've gone to have pictures of Walt Disney on display.  Apparently he's the stores founder.  That's an interesting fact since I figure he must have been a pretty busy guy with his Disney empire to have time ti open grocery stores.

But nope, go into any Publix and you'll see him.  I put up a picture of him in this review, bagging groceries.

Pretty cool.

Anyway there's one thing I don't dig about publix - it's a bit overpriced.  I can go and get great meat and food and stuff at Winn Dixie for less.  So sometimes I will do just that instead of coming here.

It is a nice store, however, a nice solid 3.  After some of the grocery stores I've been to - sorry this is not a 4 or a 5.  But this is a GOOD 3.

21 reviews, 4 and a half stars...  I'm like, I HAVE to see this place.

The only people here right now are workers, oh and me.  Here's the thing though.  

2 awesome happenstances took place in my life today.  I was driving around and ended up on Dixie HWY which is f---ng awesome.  I am a certified traveler now.  As a matter of fact, I kind of like it.  I don't think I will stop here in south Florida permanently.  So here's the thing; I have worked on Dixie HWY.  I have driven on Dixie HWY and lived very close to it for a good portion of my life.

Today, on the other end of the United States from where the Dixie HWY I know was, I ended up driving on my beloved highway once again.  As a matter of fact I wasn't aware that it was Beloved until just today.  ;)  Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

And then the second thing, of course, is that I found this place which was pretty cool  It's totally misplaced.  It reminds me of something that should be in Downtown Ferndale or maybe more in Downtown Detroit somewhere, maybe even Hamtramck.

It's the rock and roll, indie style coffee shop.  They only have an espresso maker but my Americano is quite good.

There are incense burners on the tables here - HUGE plus.  I see couches, CDs, Records, Concert Flyers, T-Shirts and shit you would only see int his place - Oh and the Giant Artist's sketch of Iggy Pop - Totally cool.  I mean, how much cooler than A coffee-shop that had Iggy Pop as the guest of Honor at a Fundraiser so they could buy air conditioners.

True Story.

If you are from Detroit, can fund a coffeeshop/record store, and are a risk taker; oh, and you have an excellent head for business and know how to make things work, I would prop something just like this up next to the Majestic maybe.

I dunno.  If you're like me, and have a taste for the indie scene or you just love music or cool coffee-shops, I would mos-def check this place out.

Still the undefeated Heavyweight Champ of Thai Food as far as I'm concerned.  Great stuff.  I miss it so!

I am disappointed to say the least with the Island's selection of Chinese food.  So far I have had nothing but mediocre and bad Chinese food other than 1 place in the keys.  I wanted Chinese Buffet today, and since I had seen this place a few times with a big "Chinese Buffet" banner hanging proudly above the restaurant I decided to check it out.

"What?" you might be saying right about now, "This is a Mexican restaurant review."

That's my point.  I walked in and walked back out of the chinese buffet place noticing the substantial lack of what I am used to at ALL of the Chinese Buffets I have been to.  This place maybe had 8 to 10 items to choose from including rice and soup and everything.  Not something I wanted to pay for really.

So it was off to find something else, and after driving a bit I noticed Lencho's here on my right and decided to check it out.

$16 for 3 tacos, a buttload of chips, a bowl of Pico, another bowl or beans, another bowl of some warm hot sauce, plenty of sour cream and guac, a cheese quesidilla and some rice.

I has plenty of food, enough to feed my baby when she got back from working.  Good Mexican food.  Maybe I'm biased because I like Mexican food more than I realize, I dunno.

All I know is the girl kept my food up, chips filled, I got a ton of food, my water was always full and she was friendly enough and the price was cheap for what I got.

It's quaint, good, filling and does the job.

4 stars.

I have to give 5 stars for a $12 haircut when ever it actually turns out as good as this one did.  I went to this place at 5:15 pm.  All the haircut places in town were closed.  I drove by thinking that there had to be 1 place somewhere open.

Sure enough I noticed this places front doors were wide open.  The sign outside looked a little disheveled but the inside is quaint and barber/island decor.

The lady was getting ready to cut a teenagers hair so I think he was the last one getting cut - Until I walked in.  I told her I needed a cut and she actually was really cool about it.

I was a little nervous.  Once in Ferndale I went to a place where the lady was offering $7 hair cuts.  I was like, "COOL!"

It was morning and I was still half awake drinking my coffee and soon the caffeine kicked in.  What happened then was I looked up into the mirror at my hair she was cutting and notice she was STRAIGHT Buzz-cutting it all off and she was already half done.  I told her I only wanted it short on the side and only a bit off the top before the cut and I thought she grabbed the clippers just to trim the sides a little.

Damn Morning Haze - By the time I realized what she had done - FAIL!  It was too late.  If only more people would notice that their hair was being destroyed during a $& hair cut in the nick of time...

But in this case - the case of the Easy Does it Hair Cut with the Jersey Girl (she's from Jersey and it actually says, "Jersey Girl" on her license plate.) it turned out amazing.  

I have paid anywhere from $20 to $30 for haircuts over the past few years, certainly more after tips, and yet this place is still doing $12 cuts Just Fine.

Go here if you're on the island.  Trust me (unless you're one of those Haters that just wants to come here so you can be the person who wrote the bad review to be special) it's a great-cheap cut.

I even think women's cuts are far cheaper than the norm.

Enjoi

For the record, I am doing this separate from a review of the entire Hawk's Cay resort because I think people who come to this area in general need to know about this place if they wanna have a drink.

Why?  

Because it is Unlike Any Other Place I've been to on these islands. I appreciate the swarthy sailor dive bars, and the Conchyness of the more fine establishments that still retain that "Island" appeal, but in the long run, It gets really old and my heart wants to see a swanky lounge with big couches, and a classy appeal that I thought was only available in cities.

Well, it's not.  This is a trendy looking lounge that someone stole out of the city and transplanted into this Hawk's Cay resort.  I scouted it out the other morning, just by chance - I'm like, "What is this island all about?"

So I went into this resort, which, by the by, looks to be f---ing amazing!!  But let's not lose focus.  My gal wanted an espresso martini.  She swears the one she had from Alma was the best she has had; better than some other place she said made the best one up until last night's visit.

I, being the guy I am, had one of my own, a little tweaked since I like them a little less sweet and not chocolaty or vanilla-ee.    The gal behind the bar knew her stuff.  I was so pleased with her I let her make me a second drink of her choosing.  I said, "I don't care what you make, I'll drink it."

So she hooked it up and made me her Signature - The Pink Diamond.  Sure sure...  It sounds girly, but It was really good!  Props to her.  Then the "Euro Guy" bartender arrived on the scene.  He was a little too confident, not quite a chach all the way but just like he was confident in what he was doing but insecure about it at the same time which made him try to SEEM a little more confident.

The thing is, he wasn't really annoying with it.   He was capable.  I taught him how to make a Peacock and he did it well.  The only thing he did wrong was when I was trying to tell him to flame an orange peel on top of the drink.  That's when I noticed his "Euro Guy" behavior.

(PS - Google "Conan Euro Guy")  That's the Conan O'Brien skit I'm referring to when I use the term.  ;)

He was like, "Of course...  I would know how to do it because I am from Europe."

I was like, "What does that have to do with it?"

"Well of course," he said, "Since most of the cocktails come from Europe It is natural I would know how to make them."

I was like, "Did Vodka and Redbull come from Europe?"

He just kind of chuckled but wasn't sure what to say.  I was having fun with him.

But then after all that he Orange Flamed the Martini glass with no alcohol in it, and he did it behind the bar.  I decided to just let him do it because I was having a good time regardless.  The drink was good but the FLAIR he was missing was that you make and pour the drink FIRST and then orange flame the drink to finish it to add just a touch of flavor and a wonderful smell of orange effervescence to the part of the bar where the person is drinking.

Still I liked this place.  We decided to sit back in their couch section and chill, which was really nice.

Meanwhile let me mention something else - their Bar Mix.  It was almonds and corn nuts and some other stuff but it was delicious!  I swear it was the best bar munchies I've ever had.

Lastly there's this option - right outside the bar door is this schmancy brick fire pit with a fire going.  You can plastic-cup your drink and go have it out there and chill, it's a beautiful view of this beach-resort type atmosphere right off the Atlantic.

If you wanna see the coolest bar I've been to since I came to the Florida Keys, make a stop.  I need to get another Camera.

Went here today by chance.  This place has some good food!  I'm telling you.  I got full as hell and still I wanted to eat more.  I felt like a failure at buffeting (I dunno - I just made that word up but you know what I mean).

The food was fresh and good.  The atmosphere was BIG! For some reason I like that.  They had everything from Oysters to Crablegs to Fried fish to conch chowder and even some chicken wings and pizzas.

I will say this again for the benefit of this review.  My review is based on the fact that THIS is being compared to other similar restaurants.
SO in this case it is a 4 star buffet.  Definitely worth the visit.

Now let me say something for the people who go to buffets, complain about them and then give them a low rating:

Look!  You're going to a buffet.  You know it's a buffet.  You know it will be all you can eat.  You know what to expect before you even walk through that door. These islands have so many restaurants that it would be NO PROBLEM to find what you want.  You want some high end seafood?

Go to a high end seafood place!  Don't goto a buffet and whine and complain that it didn't meet up to your top-notch expectations.  That's just silly.  That's like me going to a Ponderosa Steak House and then bitching that their Steaks were cheap and thin and tasteless.  Look, you get for what you pay for. You go to a good seafood restaurant and your bill for 1 item is going to be EASILY $28 on the low end and that's not even all you can eat or covering your drinks.

You walked in that door - you knew where you were going - you knew what you were getting into.  IMO - You just want to be the person that hates it to be special.

Now back to my favorite subject; Me!

I, for one, loved this place.  I would totally go back for sure.  If you like seafood, and you like buffets from time to time, forget the haters, you will enjoy this place.