Monica "why don't you try reading the rules shankopotamus?" D.'s Profile

WHOOHOO firsties!

I'm really excited to be writing this review for a number of reasons.  First and foremost, I absolutely adore Montanya Spa.  It truly is a hidden gem tucked away amidst the hustle and bustle of nearby downtown Santa Ana.  Secondly, although my OG waxstress, Ines, had transplanted spas, Hawt on Yelp undoubtedly brought me back here, and although a piece of my heart will always be with Ines, I have decidedly fallen in love with Montanya all over again.  Last but definitely not least, Tanya (sp?) is also a lovely waxstress (I just like saying that word...  waxstress) and I am SUPER glad that HoY has been giving her (and the entire spa in general) additional business for the week.  Thank you so much Hazel et al!

Anyway, half price waxing?  What a dream come true.  Although I am pretty much already a Montanya faithful, I am still always blown away by the ambience, the service, and now the price!  Their meditation room is just perfect for me -- a light and unobtrusive scent wafts through the room, not too overwhelming, and the kind gentleman at the front counter (I want to say either Aaron or Jeff...  ugh FAIL on my part) brings you your delicious rose water or hot tea.  (Added bonus: these folks are SO NICE.  Today I came in for my appointment and have NO voice whatsoever.  I chose to have water in the meditation room because I loooooove their rose water.  But Aaron/Jeff was concerned: "Would you like me to bring you tea instead for your throat, since this is so cold?" What a sweetheart! Aww.)  Large, fluffy, comforting blankets welcome you (that's my chair on the very right if you're facing the window ;), and lovely music plays on the airwaves.

Anyway, thank you so much again Hawt on Yelp for this promotion responsible for bringing me back to Montanya.  Tanya is the BEST -- especially for first-timers and world-class-certified P*SSIES like me!  I still maintain from my original review, SIX STARS!  SIX STARS!!!

Jeez, there's just so much going on here in the evenings!  I keep forgetting that this plaza is like the equivalent of Telegraph Avenue in Berkeley -- where the hot spots are happening in good ol' Irvine.  There literally must have been over a hundred people just milling about.  Typically that's a good sign, as we all know, but it just makes you feel a bit uncomfortable in these parts.  Cha For Tea is the centerpiece of this awkward and collegiate proverbial dinner table, and for ample reason.

My favorite co-worker and I were floating on cloud nine after seeing David Sedaris, and we decided to satisfy a boba fix before heading home for the evening.  I ordered an almond milk tea, large, with big pearls -- apparently I was tickled pink by the prospect of having either regular or mini tapioca, haha -- and ventured to get a large.

I'm not happy to have to pay more than five bucks for a drink, but hey, this is Irvine.

My cashier and eventual server, Long, was a pretty nice guy.  Friendly, and definitely amused at my proffered amusement.  E squared's and my drinks came out promptly, and we were again happy as clams.

Although the flavor is totally there, the drink itself is suuuper sweet.  Not a huge fan of that, but it was good enough.  E got offered a sample of something while I didn't.  Not being hungry at all, I didn't press the issue and thankfully my curiosity didn't overcome this deficiency.

If you're looking for a late night fix, CFT is definitely the spot.  Now if we could lower the prices, remove about thirty people from the area, and have everyone working there as positively upbeat and cool as my boy Long, then we'd be talking.  A-OK indeed.

Pete's is pretty much the Yelper's conundrum, which therefore justifies the existence of the awesome A-OK rating.

+1 for the freshness of the food.  I ordered a philly steak sandwich platter to go, drove about 10 minutes home, and everything was just as it was supposed to be -- cole slaw was cold, fried mushrooms were hot and crispy, and sandwich was still piping hot.  Nice.

-1 for the flavor, or lack thereof.  This is what we in the industry like to call 'a c*ck tease.'  One bite into those lusciously batter-coated mushrooms and you realize that there isn't enough ranch dressing in the world to make up for the lack of seasoning.  Disappointing to say the least.  Cole slaw: looks nicely done in mayo, tastes terrible done in nothing.  To add insult to injury, the steak sandwich tastes like NADA.  ZIP.  ZERO.  Can you imagine that???  A lusciously packed philly steak with cheese, mayo, sauteed onions, bell peppers, AND a decently thick roll and NO TASTE?!?!?!  That's illegal in most states btw.  Okay, this probably deserves -2 stars.

+1 for the portion size, which is RIDICULOUS for a little over $8.  Definitely split-able.  Definitely advised since it has no taste.

+1 for the cleanliness of the restaurant.  Can't ever say El Conejo was this clean (although, sadly, it was MUCH tastier...  RIP Mexican joint).

+1 for the service.  Okay, admittedly, I was the only one there, but Gaby the front counter lady was all smiles and help.  The order didn't take very long either, which was awesome.

There's a gigantic and somewhat disconcerting menu, but I don't know if I'll be back to try anything else.  I'm totally heartbroken over this -- I should have just satisfied my random philly steak craving at Philly's Best.  Oh well, you Yelp, you learn, I suppose.

I don't think review #309 is going to matter much...  but #206 for lil old me is gonna be awesome.  My bestie and I decided to hop skip and jump up to Hollywood Boulevard before taking in a little Franz Ferdinand at the Palladium down the way.  We'd heard so much about this famed and fabled '25 DEGREES' that we just HAD to check it out.

I opted for the number two (crispy prosciutto et al).  Bestie chose number three (green chilies, chipotle et al).  I suppose I'm a little sad that I didn't opt for number one (you know...  the oft-imitated one with caramelized something or other and blue cheese etc. etc.), but I've had that burger.  I've loved it every single time.  Although there's a slight tinge of regret, trust me, I looooooved my burger.

Parmesan crusted, herb dusted sweet potato fries?  Yes please.  25 Degrees' own red ale?  Ohhh yes please.  Add to that a deliciously overpriced (but totally worth it) side of garlic aioli and I am in absolute heaven.  The patty is perfectly done, nicely cooked but not dry or too over the top.  My bestie agreed and thought that this place was absolutely magical -- I guess that is why we're best friends after all :)

Expect a lot of a food -- this ain't no foo-foo tasting menu, son -- for a reasonably gourmet price.  The service was impeccable and even provided a little extra eye candy for the bestie and myself.  Niiice.  Don't come here on a weekend evening and expect as easy a time parking, getting seated, served, and taken care of -- otherwise, the experience is lovely and totally worth every aspiration getting here.

An added bonus:  I mean, it's Hollywood.  It's the Roosevelt Hotel.  The servers and busboys are ten times hotter than any guy I've ever been with or even dreamed about getting with.  The service is spectacular.  The ambience is just so...  I don't know, Hollywood?  This is so not my usual scene but 25 Degrees makes me feel so...  lucky to live in SoCal, I suppose :)  Now what other restaurant can non-annoyingly do all that?

Three stars overall because I mean come on, it's a Hooters, but an extra notch because (1) we tried something new and actually LIKED it... a LOT, and (2) it's brand spanking (no pun intended) new and spacious and somehow that contributes to its lower annoyance rating, at least for now!

I like wings, I like beer, I like pretty girls with boobs who are nice and not overly swarming, and I like sports on tv.  That all being stated for the record, how can Hooters disappoint?  Our server was truly a cut above the rest; she took care of us without interrupting our banter or our sports-watching goals.  There are HELLA TVs.  Note to manager: if there is a Sunday Night NFL game on, remember to switch the audio BACK to the game after putting on loud a$$ music during halftime!

Scotty Dawg's precious Chaaaaargers lost to the gritty Steelers (I don't particularly care for either team; I'm more of a fantasy fball kinda gal), but we still had a great non-douche-invasive time.  We tried the spicy garlic wings and loved them!  We also had the loaded tater tots (forgot their 'official' title) and although there was a bit too much cheese sauce, it was still tasty.  And inspirational (we plan to make our own very, very soon).  For our finale we grabbed an order of the fried pickles -- a bit too salty for our taste, but still fresh and yummy.

Definitely -1 star for the beer selection.  Hanging out with the Dawg and my brother, I gotta comment on that.  Best they could offer was a Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, which is still better than most (hello, Coors/Bud/Miller Light varieties) but not what we hopheads are used to.  Come on though, seriously.  I'm straight and I like looking at girls.  I'm also a fatty and I like Hooters wings.  What more can I say?  Four stars!

Should have read Sandy T. et al's reviews for the exact definition and experience with the infamous "wagon wheel."  This could have spared me a ridiculous (on my end) exchange that eventually ended with the kind and saintly gentleman behind the counter patiently exclaiming, "Oh!  You mean a wagon wheel?"

Wagon wheel.  Noun.  A zillion calories of luscious (but not too over the top) cream cheese, a healthy mound of chocolate chips, and the most deliciously understated buttery goodness baked into a large danish-slash-coffee-cake-like (but again, not too sweet thankfully) pastry about the size of a medium pizza.  Example: "Oh, do you have one of those danish...  big...  pastry...  coffee cake...  part...  croissant...  cheesy...  chocolate chip...  thingies?" "Oh!  You mean a wagon wheel?"  Stealing the hearts and taste buds of carb lovers everywhere for the bargain price of $9.99.

I've been coming to French's for yeeeears and I've never been disappointed with any of their offerings.  Now that I'm a big girl and old enough to order my own things, I recently just bought said wagon wheel and a beautifully decorated (last-minute...  awesome) birthday cake with a ridiculous selection of fillings and icings.  I opted for the marble cake with fresh strawberries and whipped cream icing (the two latter of which are an extra charge, but TOTALLY worth it).

Not only was the cake heavy as all hell (which is always a good sign in my book -- especially for 1/4 sheet), but it lasted through an entire day in our work fridge.  Awesome.  Mr. Smith enjoyed his 40th birthday cake, and I enjoyed seeing him and everybody else enjoy it as well.

Thank you French's for saving my a$$!  Also, everything you make is delicious and has been for years :)

Ah, the Friday night family outings.  Once you pass a certain age, you probably shouldn't have to go through such agony requiring you to basically give up your inaugural weekend bender to satisfy the social obligations set up by your vague blood lines.  This time, however, great company + cheap booze = good times at the Elks Lodge!

You need to either be a member or know a member.  My suggestion:  know a member.  It's so cool to get 'hooked up' in here.  The drinks are HELLA cheap -- $3 for well drinks and wine, up to $5 for the 'top shelf' stuff -- and the bar looks like quite the place to be.  My brother, our mom and I joined our uncle and his companions for a good ol' time, complete with lovely full dinner and live band!

Alvin and I split a prime rib and Mom ordered the captain's (catcher's?) platter.  Everything we had was tasty -- hot dinner buns, fresh salad, tasty meatball soup, perfectly cooked prime rib, asparagus, twice baked potato (undoubtedly the hidden star of the show), freshly fried seafood, and a nice scoop of spumoni (my faaave) at the end.  The food is pretty delicious, and our server, Chad, was really really cool about it all (they seemed to be shorthanded that evening).

The highlight of the night, however, was undoubtedly playing prime spectator to the dance floor.  An awesomely wedding-esque band played and everyone danced to their heart's content.  We're talking octogenarians and septogenarians strutting their stuff Dancing With the Stars style.  My gimpy brother and my fat ass were put to shame with the rumba-ing, mambo-ing, cha-cha-ing and tango-ing (just to name a select few) all around us.  Even mom rediscovered her ballroom groove as she hit the dance floor with our uncle.  Awesome.

Anyway, all jokes about Depends, white pants, old school prom dresses, blue hair and 'the natural sag' aside, we had a blast at the Elks Lodge this past Friday night.  As long as the drinks keep a-flowin' and the dancing shoes keep a-boogeyin', this place is always gonna have a special niche in my heart.  -1 star for the A/C, or lack thereof.  Two drinks in and I was sweating like Ernest Borgnine on Mile 3 of an Ironman triathlon on a Havana summer's afternoon.

Desirous of showing my favorite co-worker what a 'polarizing' Thai restaurant was really like, I was extremely excited to hear that Thai Nakorn was back up and running once again.  "Polarizing" you say?  I've been patronizing the Thai Nakorn establishments for as long as I can remember -- and that's a good twenty years or so -- and although I have to admit that I've never been to Thailand myself for the firsthand experience, I know what I like and what tastes good to me.  So although some might have qualms against 'authenticity' or originality, I don't care.  Bringing my wonderful friend with me at a non-peak hour totally made the experience that just more special.

My companion E Squared had previously expressed to me that he was indeed an appreciative consumer of Thai cuisine, and was game for trying anything.  Upon reading fantastic reviews about the deep fried fish with mango salad, I opted for that.  E Squared decided upon the pad thai.  An order of steamed rice and a wide open empty restaurant finished up our table scene.

The food came out quickly and incredibly fresh.  The fish was cooked to pure fried perfection ("now THAT's a fried fish" -- E Squared), and the accompanying mango salad was delicious and refreshing.  Thinly julienned green mango, ginger, garlic, shrimpy vinegary sweet spicy goodness.  It went so nicely with the hot fish and rice.  Then the pad thai came out, and although there are some who prefer a less oily, less saucy form, I don't mind this at all -- especially since it comes with a small pile of pepper.  I was happy to mix this yumminess together -- bean sprouts, salt, pepper, peanuts and lime.  It was steaming hot and had just the perfect amount of egg, chicken and shrimp.  Even though I honestly have had better pad thai elsewhere, I will say that this was still damn good.  I also have a bunch of Thai restaurant experience behind that statement, so I cannot and will not ever argue against freshly made spicy pad thai.

The new restaurant building is much more spacious and modern-looking than its predecessor years ago.  The service is still kind and unobtrusive, and I can't say my water was ever empty.  (Again, we came here after work, at like 4pm.  Take that as you will.)  As close as this is to work and as much as I looove Thai food (and so does my companion, which is awesome -- where else can you eat yourself silly for under $20 a person for dinner and combine discussion topics such as Star Trek-inspired Halloween fare, what 'bridesmen' wear at weddings, and why people in relationships turn into an entirely different species altogether), I can't wait to come back and try other dishes.  Again.  Welcome back, Thai Nakorn!

Deep fried fish with mango salad -- $15 (toootally worth it though, plenty of food)
Pad thai -- $8
Managing not only to delay E Squared from his other Friday plans (I am soooooo sorry!) but also to deter my own family dinner plans later that evening -- priceless.

Okay, I'm not gonna lie to you, dearest Yelpers.  The only reason I am writing this review, good ol' #201, is a delightfully sinful mixture of one part pride to two parts bitch.  I JUST WANNA BRAG ABOUT EVER BEING TO PASEO!!!

Upon discovering that Paseo seems to be a widely renowned sandwich mecca of sorts, WEEKS after visiting the establishment, how could I not boast of such an experience?  Of course as we pulled up in the early evening they were out of lots of things -- most notably, something referred to as the Midnight Cuban.  Whatever.  I just got off a 2 hour flight and I want food and I want it now.  So not only are they out of their specialty, but they only accept cash, AND there is a somewhat long-ish line.  Great.

In a blaze of food-inhaling, sauce-smearing, orgasm-inducing glory, my lil bro Fobert and I took down a grilled pork sandwich, a grilled chicken sandwich (both with extra onions, on Fobert's request... I thought, wtf?), a side of black beans and two sodas.  Price wasn't too shabby and timing was just right on the to-go orders.  But what I will never forget was just the sheer happiness spread all over my fat little face as I ate.  Two distinct meats, two very different and very flavorful sauces, two varying combinations of veggie condiments, two excessively happy customers.

The Space Needle?  Meh.  The Fish Market?  Sure.  The Music Experience?  I guess.  Paseo?  MUST TRY.  Your tummy will thank you and your taste buds will beg you to sleep with them.  Again.

To be perfectly honest with the Yelp community I have been holding off on my 200th review.  Blame it partially on indecisiveness, partially on a busy schedule -- but primarily on a pseudo-existential reexamination of my Yelping philosophies.  In short:  it seems that I have been doling out a number of high-starred reviews, which is somewhat uncharacteristic for me.  A momentary lapse in judgment?  A rose-colored glasses period?  Then, upon discovering Haven, in the heart of my city, the answer finally appeared to me, as crystal clear as the bottom of my pint glass.

I HAVE GOOD F*CKING TASTE, BIZNATCHES.

30+ of my favorite older drinking companions + a decently and gradually building draught list + an amaaazing bottle selection that can only get better + an impressive gastropub food menu + wonderful service with a smile by everyone (from hostess to server to chef to owner) = four and a half glorious stars.  I'm totally rounding up, just like a good little math teacher should.

Anyway, how about a little more Yelp reviewing and even more STFU, Monica?

This establishment is just what Orange County needs.  Right on par with the Father's Offices and Wurstkuches of the world, Haven boasts a lovely interior without seeming too pretentious or foo-fooey.  In a sense, it fits right with the Orange County decor -- a touch of modern, a sprig of fancy, and just the right amount of actual splendor without being tacky or trying too hard.  Their lunch and dinner menus, which they have openly admitted to being 'works in progress,' are simple and straightforward -- and I, being the sexy fat arse that I am, ordered pretty much half the menu and enjoyed every single bite immensely.

My brother and I split an order of the fritto misto and the mussels.  If you are in the mood for tapas-style appetizers, these are both must-haves.  The fritto misto batter perfectly covers an array of vegetables, calamari, fish, and -- get ready for this -- LEMON SLICES.  Yes, you heard me.  They fry lemon slices.  Believe me, it's much, much better than I make it sound.  The misto comes with a delicious chipotle aioli that is to die for.  (ETA:  MUSSELS!  Don't forget to order them with an extra straw or IV drip if at all possible.  The Arrogant Bastard-based sauce is one of the most sinfully enjoyable things I have eaten with mussels in my entire lifetime.  Believe you me, that is saying a great deal.)

One of the joint's bigwigs, Will, kindly provided us with orders of the potato chips on the house, which also came with the aioli.  Although some of them came out more well done than others, there was a nice touch of rosemary that made them incredibly savory and enjoyable.

The highlight of the night food-wise, however, was undoubtedly their signature burger.  Pickled red onions, arugula, roasted red peppers, St. Agur (a mild blue) cheese, a GIGAAAAANTIC angus patty cooked to your liking (I prefer my high-quality burger patties more on the medium bloody side), all on a soft and juice-soaking bun.  The burger also comes with a generous order of their herb-tossed fries and a side of their homemade ketchup, which is a bit on the sweeter side (which I looove but some others not so much).

The beer selection is more skewed to the Belgian tastes, but there is a building hop character on the draught board that I believe the owners are beginning to pick up on.  When you have a gigantic Hollingshead-slash-Tustin Brewing contingent on the eternal quest for pure hoppiness (TM Alpine Brewing) in the Orange County vicinity, this is what you get.  We enjoyed a little Green Flash and Firestone Union Jack IPAs, and I dabbled a bit in the lighter Belgians.

An added bonus to the night was our server, Christine (Kristine?).  She's this gorgeous and cool young lady who resembles Zooey Deschanel a great deal, cool light eyes and all.  She is just what a gastropub server should be -- attentive but not overbearing, engaging but not smothering, and overall very sweet.  Everyone we encountered was working hard and smiling kindly.  How could you not appreciate this on a slightly drunky Friday evening with your beer connoisseur family?

Anyway, I HIGHLY recommend Haven to anyone and everyone looking for LA-style brews (and booze, if that's your bag, baby) and gastropub cuisine.  With a convenient location near the Orange Circle but not directly on it (to separate yourself from those looking for the Paul's/District/O'Hara's experience), I am definitely looking forward to the great times to be had at Haven.  The employees and owners here are extremely accommodating (I mean, 34 people, come on) and are open to having a lively discussion with patrons, which is always refreshing.  Even though my Weekday Boyfriend and I were relegated to difficult seats and knees knocking into hard wooden tables, a generally good time was had by all.  Thanks Haven for making your way into the "OC" stratosphere and I wish you guys nothing but the absolute best!