Suzanne "UBER" B.'s Profile

Didn't eat a burrito, but went downstairs to the Cha-Cha and had a great time.

I was drunk, but I do remember low, red lights, big glasses of beer, and lots of trendy, eccentric people. My kinda place. It was super crowded on a Friday night, and me, being the claustrophobic person I am, I got a bit weirded out. The back had a patio for smokers that was a bit too small for the crowd (much like the entire place) and the bathrooms were super gross (but comforting in my divey bar childhood memory way).

BUT--the sole reason to come here: THE PHOTOBOOTH!

I am kinda obsessed with photobooth photos and out of all the booths in Seattle, Cha-Cha's has the best one! The photos are the best exposed, best developed ones,and they have a very warm feel to them. I wanted to obessively keep feeding ones into the machine to take my (drunken) photo over and over and over again, but I, luckily, had a few couples waiting in line behind me to stop me from hogging the thing. I still have those photos hanging on strips on my wall and in my profile here on Yelp (yep--that one to the left was taken on location).

So despite the crowds (which is a turn off for me, agorophobic that I am), and the maze like underground, claustrophobic vibe, the place was totally redeemed for me by the photobooth. Yep yep.

Any bar that can convert me to the lauded game of PINBALL wins in my book.

I was visiting a friend in Seattle, only to find out that he lived, literally, less than a block from "Shorty's", a bar he described as "absolutely amazing." On a rainy Wednsday night, what else were we to do but go have some drinks?

Shorty's reminds me of all the things that a bar should be--dark, filled with neon lighting, floors covered with a layer of slime, a bar serving reasonabily priced beverages and appropriate bar food. It's clientele reflects the laid back, divey feel the club exudes--lots of hoodies, tattoos, and piercings, and more colors of hair dye than I knew exsisted. I felt right at home.

And then....I walked into the back room. I have literally never seen so many pinball machines in one place! Bear in mind I grew up in the late '90s after the pinball craze had died down, so to me, this place was a totally new experience. I obsessively played the Addam's Family machine for awhile, until the flashing lights and strobes gave me a headache. On a Wednsday night, the place was pretty crowded, but not enough to warrant a wait on any machine.

They also have, at the front of the bar, to your right after you walk in, a few "newer" arcade games, like Guitar Hero and some cop and robber shoot-'em-up game, along with PacMan (which deathly scares me) and a few others. A jukebox is across the floor from these machines and has some killer music on it--I found anywhere from The Blasters "Dark Night" to Bauhaus's "In the Flat Field". Nice selection!

Smoking is out front in a "patio" or an area of sidewalk barricaded off from the rest by a wrought iron fence. The people are down to earth, friendly and the bar food (dogs and nachos) is some of the best I've ever had. They even have a "hangover cure"--a bloody mary, a dog, and a single cigarette. NICE! (I may be a little off on the actual 'hangover cure' but the point is made).

The bathrooms are, well, divey, and the blacklight paint is a little much in the back pinball room, and if you hate clowns and old circus memorabilia, this place is NOT for you. It's like Coney Island regurgetated it's slightly off Siamese twin into a vat of black light paint, then banished the said creature to the dark corner of the Northwest. Not that I'm insulting the place--such a description could only fit a very unique and wonderfully eccentric place, which Shorty's definately is. Just don't come here expecting a sports bar, or a regular bar, or even a dive bar. This is something else entirely.

NOTE: I did make it out to Shorty's this past Halloween and I have to say that I saw some of the best costumes ever at this place. I also noticed that they have a back bar, to the side and behind the pinball arcade, that they apparently only open on holidays and other big events.

UPDATE: I went back to do a feature dancing night after being in LA for about 6 months and the place had DEFINATELY gone downhill. Due to the recession, the number of girls dancing here has sky rocketed (also probably due to the fact the Outhouse is on the brink of closing and all the secreteries within a 100 mile radius are now trying to be dancers to pay the bills), and in response to that, the management (which has also switched hands) is now super anal retentive about girls keeping to a strict schedule and strict hours. Plus they have employed undercover "customers" that go around and make sure that dancers don't charge any more than $10 per dance, which is fucking ridiculous because that $10 5 minute long dance is worth $40 in LA! Not what you'd want as a dancer, at least in my opinon, so don't go looking here for a job if you are a girl reading this review.

For the guys: New management = more girls, better schedule control, and customer appreciate night once every month. And, as said above, better control over dance prices. BUT--when I went back, it seemed like every girl had gained 10lbs, so I'd say the quality of the dances has gotten far worse in the past couple of months.

First of all, I work here, so obviously my review will be tainted by that fact.

BUT--I have worked at a LOT of LA clubs, and I think that Silver Reign is by far and away the best one. Sure, it's expensive--but what club in LA county isn't? Sure, you can't come in and watch girls dance for free--but what club lets you do that? The drinks are super expensive, the hustle is hard, but what redeems this club are their lapdances.

I am a dancer and I KNOW a good lapdance when I give it, and NO, you pervs, I am NOT talking about a 'dirty' lapdance, which is another animal altogther. No, I'm just talking a straight up GOOD lapdance, one that's seductive, secluded, makes the outside world melt away and time stop. Those are the sort of dances you get at Silver Reign, or at least the type I give, and judging by the huge amount of repeat customers we have, the type of dances that other girls give too.

And these great lapdances are given to you by LA's hottest girls; hot girls from all races and ethnicities. There is a little bit of everything at the club, but they are all really attractive!

BUT--this is NOT the club for the broke ass people, the people who wanna spend $20 and get a hand job, or the people that wanna watch for free while they spend 2 hours "waiting for a friend." This is not the "economy club" and for good reason: you get what you pay for.

GIRLS--It is a dirty club though. I won't lie. There are a lot of dirty dancers, but I don't dance dirty and I bank here. Any club I can pull $3000 a night at deserves 4 stars by me!

Let me preface this entire thing with saying--I have a HUGE late bill at Vidiots that I don't really want to pay, so I do usually go there for my more obscure films, but I can't anymore, so I went online and looked for other indie movie stores and I came across Video Store Named Desire.

The reviews looked good. I was willing to get out in my car, on my day off, and fight traffic on the 405 to get down to the store, on the hopes that they would have the movie I wanted.

They did. And not only did they have it, but they had a slew of other films I've been dying to find, and too scared to enter Vidiots to look for, lol. AND IT WAS ONLY $2.17 to rent 3 movies! The man behind the counter told me I got one classic movie free with the rental of two movies, so I definately was happy with that price! And the late fees are only $2/day, which is nothing at all, considering you get to keep the movies for a full week.

I'm in love. I will NEVER EVER go to another video store, unless I somehow run up a huge bill here too. Which seems unlikely--I had to sign a piece of notebook paper saying that I agreed to pay all late fees and if I'm going to sign a handwritten piece of notebook paper, I am definately willing to make sure I get the videos back on time.

The store itself is rather gross--that's the only negative thing I have to say about it. It smelled like 2 day old bags of Taco Bell (yes, I know that smell, I've lived with wayyyy too many man-children to not know it), and the floor was covered in dirt, dust, pieces of paper and the random McDonalds happy meal toy. The movies were stacked EVERYWHERE, making it sometimes hard to nagivate around. Definately not a store to go 'browsing' for movies in--there is NO SPACE to move around, and no logical way that the movies are categorized.

BUT--if you're like me, and you go to the store KNOWING what you want, and knowing it's obscure and relatively hard to find, then this is the store for you. They WILL have what you are looking for and more--all you gotta do is ask. And for $1 a video--there is NO BETTER deal anywhere in LA, let alone the entire US.

5 STARS!!!!

I visted this place during the Superbowl, and although I'm sure that the stereotypical goth kid that hits this place on weekends wouldn't neccessarily be there FOR the Superbowl, I did still want to mention this fact because the place was incredbibly busy and I'm not sure if it was because of the Superbowl or what, but I was amazed at the goth scene's strength in sunny Florida. I guess I just had a different idea of Florida, but still--this place was PACKED on the Saturday night I hit it.

As for the club itself--it's basically decorated like the interior of a gothic mansion, with wrought iron chandeliers and spiderwebs and crosses all over the walls. There are a couple stories, and it's very easy to get lost in it's dark corridors. Dance floors abound, and although I will admit I was pretty drunk the majority of the time I was there and don't remember the exact number of dance floors, it seemed to me like the place had about two or three of them, all very packed full of people you'd see in Hot Topic ads. Gothed out kids to the fullest degree, and of the old school variety--the ones that like to revel in their gothness, and none of the new school ones that border between emo, scene and goth. Multi-colored dread locks and sky high platforms abound, and on the main dance floor on the second level, they have numerous gothic go go dancers up on pedestals that were so completely appointed in their gothic outfits they looked unreal.

Also on this second story dance floor was a HUGE screen, with various images projected on it along to the music that was being DJ'ed, and accompanied by many a smoke machine and laser show. There were tons of people dancing, all types, although predominately it was gothic looking individuals, I saw a little bit of everything on the dance floor. I hit it myself after a few drinks, served up SUPER FAST by a very good bartender, and moderately priced. I saw some crazy dancing, some crazy people, and it was definately a GREAT place to just sit and people watch after my feet started to ache from dancing.

However, being as crowded as it was, the lines for the bathrooms were ridiculously long and although the bathrooms were cool to look at, they could use a little cleaning up. There were plenty of bars around the club, to the point where I never waited more than a few minutes for a drink even with all the people, and very experienced, very good bartenders behind them as well. A few of the people at the club gave me some bitchy looks for looking as "normal" as I did, which isn't very normal, but a lot more socially acceptable than most of the people there. However, I really didn't care, and for the most part, people weren't exactly friendly but they weren't mean either.

I am a smoker, so I enjoyed being able to smoke in the bar, which is a luxury that many cities no longer have. It did get pretty smoky in the club while I was there, but it never bothered me any, although for non-smokers I could see how all that smoke and the fog machines could be bothersome.

All and all, this club is a very interesting, unique ode to the gothic lifestyle that's worth a visit just for the people watching alone, and if you're into getting hammered and dancing like a fool, this is also a place to hit up for sure!

PS-Pamela D, next time, write a review that actually HELPS people instead of using this place as a personal forum to vent your anger at not being able to get in. In fact, if you didn't even get in the club, why would you feel you had any right to critique it? Next time, call a friend and bitch and don't subject the world to your unneccesary vitrol.

I went out to Float for their .50 beers on a Wednsday I think, and it was definately an interesting scene. I liked the location of the bar a lot--it was right near the ocean, so they could open the windows and let in the nice sea breeze. It was also great that they had a pool on one half of the bar--very cool, very innovative, and although it was a little cold for people to be swimming when I was there, I heard stories from my friends, who are locals, about the pool being FULL of people on warmer nights. Which I could imagine could either be really fun or REALLY dangerous seeing as how drunk some of the people there got and how all of the crowd there, by the end of the night, could barely say a sentence without slurring something. If I were this bar, I'd make drunk swimmers sign waivers before taking a dip, but I didn't see any around so I guess the place hasn't had a fatality yet, which is good.

There is a jukebox in the corner by the bathrooms, and although the place is pretty small and gets pretty busy, there always seems to be enough room to slide through the throngs of humans to get over to it. Mostly, people play top 40 songs, which is pretty common anywhere in the midwest, and since this place doesn't have much artistic cred (it's a typical middle of America bar), it's really not expected to be playing much else.

The crowd here seemed to be mainly comprised of students on the island attending Texas A&M Galveston, which was to be expected since the .50 cent beers were a college promotion. But I have a feeling the place has that crowd regardless, and everyone there seemed to be young and a typical representation of the college crowd. The bartenders and staff were nice enough, if not at little overworked, and although they tried their best to serve everyone in a timely manner, I did end up waiting a fair amount of time before I got my drinks. It's ok though because the bartenders looked like college students too and probably hadn't been bartending for very long at at least still served me my beverages with a smile.

Apart from some drunk, high kid who puked all over everyone, I had a good time and enjoyed hanging out with some very drunk college kids at a nice bar by the beach. It's nothing special, nothing to write home about, but a nice enough place if you wanna stop by and have a few drinks with some roudy youngsters.

This club is a very classy, well kept place. The interior is dimly lit (typical of strip clubs) but with nice candle accent lights and track lighting in oppurtune places. The chairs are very comfy and plush at the seating removed a bit from the stage; the barstools, however, are not the best, but still in good repair. Everything is clean, and well taken care of, and the bathrooms are really very nice.

The girls are amazingly beautiful here--some of the best I've ever seen, and I've danced in every state in the continental US. The day shift, as with all clubs, is a little less attractive than the night shift but definately still worth coming out to visit if you are so inclined to hit the strip club during the day hours. Everyone here is very friendly, and the vibe of the club is relaxed--a lot of talking and hanging out and very little straight up hustling. Many girls here are also fabulous dancers--climbing up and down the pole with ease and professionals in their dancing presentations. All of them are in good shape--some better than others, but there are no really ugly rough ones at all. All of the girls are different and there are girls of every shape, size, style and hair color but they are all some of the best looking girls in this country. None of the girls here, as far as I could tell from working at the location for a month, have any sort of drug issues; all in all it's one of the cleanest strip clubs I've ever worked at; in fact, my feelings where validated when the club was raided by vice about two months ago and searched from top to bottom and cops couldn't find a SINGLE THING. Which speaks highly of this establishment--most strip clubs are crawling with drugs and girls who are strug out on them.

There is a back patio where customers and girls can go out and smoke and hang out, as well as valet parking, which is good considering the club has a TINY parking lot. Valet usually starts with the night shift--around 6pm, and prior to that it really isn't busy enough to worry about finding parking. The staff here is really friendly and the bartenders and cocktail servers are just as smokin' hot as the girls--in fact, if not more so, and most of them are ex-dancers themselves. The music is really varied and diverse--just like the girls--so expect to hear everything from Type-O Negative to Mexican rap.

The drink prices are typical for a strip club, but not outrageous. Dances are done in booths along the back wall for 20 dollars a song or in a more secluded area for 5 for 120. Champagne rooms are available too for a large sum, upwards of 300 bucks. However, none of the girls are allowed to take their tops off during a dance and because of insanely conservative San Diego county laws, none of the girls are really supposed to touch a customer or vice versa, although often times this rule is broken; just don't expect someone to grind on you, as the only touching allowed in breaking the rules is a breif touch in passing. No real hot and heavy dances, even in the champagne room, exsist; the only thing you are really paying for when you pay more money for dances is the exculsivity and privacy that a champagne room allows.

The atmosphere here is very laid back, although it does get pretty busy on Friday and Saturday nights. All the girls have great attitudes, and there are always tons of them working on any given night. Check out Machete for some amazing and insane polework if you happen to go. The girl is AMAZING on the pole! I definately reccomend this club for couples too--it's very girl customer friendly.

Buzzard Beach is it's own type of entity--that is, places like Buzzard just generally don't exisist outside of the midwest. The drink prices here are RIDICULOUSLY low--.75 PBR anyone?--and the bartenders pour BIG. Once while here I ordered a Long Island Iced Tea and got a glass full of booze. Really. No splash of Sweet and Sour, no splash of Coke---just a glass full of cheap hard liquer. Which is basically what Buzzard is about; cheap booze, lots of it, and a place in which to drink it. Places like this just DO NOT exisist beyond the midwest; it is the midwestern version of "dive bar" and worth at least venturing into once, if for nothing else other than cheap booze and people watching.

Unlike other areas of the country, in the midwest dive bars aren't yet trendy enough to be packed from front to back every night, mainly with young scenesters and young, fashion forward drunks. Not that there aren't some ridiculous scene people who come to this bar--because there are enough, not as many as their used to be but enough--but the crowd does remain diverse, and on any given night you'll find people here from all walks of life, and representatives from all different subcultures. It's a melting pot as far as the scene goes and since the smoking ban, as mentioned by others, this bar is far less packed than it has been in the past.

There are two levels to this bar: in the bottom one there are pool tables, a shuffleboard, a jukebox and a bar. Upstairs, an open air patio outside and another full bar along with booths to sit in and tables and chairs. The bathrooms are upstairs as well, although one step inside them and most won't find the idea of using them too appetizing. They are a work of art in their own right though--if you take a minute to shuffle through all the grafffitti on the wall you'l find some genuinely funny and some really retarded shit written all over with black sharpie. If you make any sort of regular appearance to this bar, eventually you too will get drunk enough to not only use the bathroom but to mark it with a sharpie as well. It just sort of happens after awhile of coming here.

There is also a popcorn maker right by the front door for hungry drunks to help themselves too. However, I suggest that if you can remain the realm of the cognicient for your stay at Buzzard,  that you keep your hands off the popcorn. I've watched people throw used condoms and other such questionable items into the serving bin and shutter to think about how long most of that popcorn has been sitting there for.

Staff tends to be typical--not too friendly, not too mean, although if you start shit expect to be kicked out. Although in the past Buzzard has been a little rough compared to some other bars around town, in general you shouldn't have any problems (unless you are a douch bag in which case I predict you'll have problems everywhere). Like I mentioned before, the crowds run the gambit, but on a whole, they tend to be on the edgier side--expect lots of tattoos and piercings. Most of the regulars here have a serious drinking problem, so expect to see some really FUCKED UP drunks here, which always makes for a good people watching time (if not also the feeling that one should hand them a 50 and tell them to get some help).

All and all, a very decent place. Cheap drinks (probably some of the cheapest left in America at this point), laid back, interesting. The decor can mesmerize you when drunk. A shark? ON THE CEILING? WOAH MAN... :) Definately check it out at least once if you're in the area. It's much better than anything in the Power and Light District, which tends to be so elitest that nobody goes there except creepy old business dudes looking to pick up a little ass.

First of all, I want to mention that this isn't just a "nightlife" spot--it's a NUDE CLUB, and although it used to be a kickass punk venue, it's now what I would consider "adult entertainment", and I think it needs to be classified as such, so people are not confused and don't go looking for the cool ass place it used to be; i.e. I don't think it's worth the drive for anyone to go way out into the middle of nowhere looking for a punk venue and instead coming across a huge pile of pussy.

As for the place it now is--The Outhouse NUDE incarnation sucks. There is no better way to put it. The place is literally falling apart; the bathrooms don't work, the chairs barely hold a 80lb. girl, and the "VIP" area is nothing but barely covered "couches" held together by duct tape and bodily fluids. At the beginning of the change over, the place was dingy, divey but still good, in the way that divey places can be. Now, the whole place reeks of disrepair and despiration, mainly due to the management and the loads of girls who work there who desparately need that 20 dollar dance to buy their next 8-ball. I don't mean to imply that all dancers are drug addicts--trust me, I'm a dancer too so I don't want to perpetuate any unneccessary stereotypes, but I've also worked at this club and the majority of women who choose to dance here have serious drug problems or are just completely batshit insane.

There are some great girls who dance their asses off and are very talented (Abby comes to mind), but those are definately the minority. On Fridays and Saturdays, there are some better looking women, but for the most part, the girls there are a little on the rough and ragged end of the spectrum. This is the club you go to when you've been fired everywhere else, because (and this came straight from mangement) "we are not allowed to fire anyone". Apparently Jeff, the owner, wants to set up some sort of haven for all the fucked up strippers of KC. I guess he's doing a good job.

As for the crowds: generally, it's a ghost town Sunday-Weds. If you choose to go on one of these nights, be prepared to be accosted as SOON as you get through the door by a whole bunch of desparate girls wanting all your beer. On an average weekday, there are about 20 girls and 2 guys all night. Strangely enough, it gets SUPER busy Friday and Saturday and moderately busy on Thursday, their unoffical "hip hop night". And when I say SUPER busy, I mean standing room only. Come early if you want, but don't fear for lack of girls--they have over 40 working on weekends, even though each girl has to pay upwards to 100 dollars to the club just to be allowed to work on those nights; consequently, the hustle and the push for dances on weekends gets CRAZY. Expect to be hassled NON STOP once you get in. If you like talking to a girl before getting a dance--this place is NOT for you.

Which brings me to my next point: MANAGEMENT SUCKS. The bouncers are all strung out on crystal meth and coke and are unneccesarily rude and obnoxious. On top of this, they do not enforce any rules, so if you go back to VIP expect to be sitting next to someone who's getting head from another girl. It happens all the time. They also, as mentioned above, RIP their girls off and make them pay enormous house fees (stage rental costs) just to work here, which creates a huge drive in all the girls to get DANCES DANCES DANCES. Also, they arbirtarily make some girls pay more than others simply based on how much the owner likes them. It's a complete rip off--on both the girls and the customer's end and the changing work rules daily make it pretty difficult to remain employed here if you are at all intelligent and willing to weigh the benefits with the negatives.

Dances here can be topless and full contact out on the floor for 20 bucks or nude and full contact in VIP for 30 bucks, plus the one time cost of 10 dollars for entrance into the VIP area. There is nothing else for sale: no mixers, no juice, no alcohol, although this is a BYOB joint, so you can bring your own. Cover is 15 dollars per person and girls get in free with the price of a guy. There is a vending machine in the club that SOMETIMES works, that sells cigarettes, candy, and pop. Parking is pleantiful as this place is literally in the middle of fucking nowhere. It's relatively easy to find though--just take 15th street off of Mass for about 5 miles, but watch out for cops after you leave; they like to wait just outside the club and pull people over who are on their way home.

It's open very late--til 4am on weekends, 2am on weekdays. Honestly though, unless you want to get ripped off by some crackhead and yelled at by a methed out bouncer, save your cash and head over to Paradise Saloon instead. Much more mellow, much better run, and the girls there don't have nearly the issues or the coked out look the girls at the Outhouse have. You won't get to see vag, but in the end, aren't some things better left to the imagination?