Craig "Cappy" C.'s Profile

I know God is a comedian. There are signs of it everywhere. Have you ever see a platypus? If you have any doubt think about this.

The most delicious foods on earth when eaten in excess will make you ugly.

Why is that? That is a joke. We all could have been made to withstand anything put into our bodies. Why should cakes, candy, pies and bacon make us unhealthy?

I HAVE to go by this place all the time. I have a warehouse right next door. Every time I get out of my car the smell knocks me on my ass. Pecan Pies, Cannoli's, Lobster Claws, Tiramisu.......     I HAVE to go in. The Almond Biscotti are the best I've ever had.

I wish I could stash pies all over my house and nibble on them whenever I happen to be in a certain room. Boston Cream would be the den. Pecan could be the computer room. a big bowl of italian cookies in the bathroom.

But if I did this I would be fat as a platypus and people would laugh at me.
Maybe it's worth it. Maybe as long as I keep my heart and mind healthy I could get by with a big fat ass........................Maybe not.

But it's worth considering. That's how good this Italian bakery is.

God, I see the joke here. But it ain't funny.

(on holidays the line is out the door)

Go NOW.

SOOO sick of being crammed into a lame space forced to wait on line for a watered down drink.

This was the perfect night out. Good food, smallish crowd, interesting conversation.

Good beer! Good Rum.

Let's do it again soon. Damien get on it.

6 stars!

I hardly ever get to connect with anyone any more. I think the closest I've gotten to meaningful human interaction lately outside my home  was when I flipped a guy the bird this morning when he cut me off on route one.

Everyone has their face pushed up into their smart phones, iPods, lap tops and even when they're not, it seems they would rather look at their own scuffed shoes then say hi to someone.

Tony invited me to cook with Tracy Stamos and friends at Savory Green. I love to cook. I cook all the time. I figured an opportunity to get out, learn a new recipe or two and see friends would be fun. There were 9 of us plus Tracy and her assistant.

We were given the nights menu and tasks were divided up among us. We were given the task of creating the pork loin dish. It was an Herbed Coated Pork Tenderloin with ingredients like fresh parsley, mint, sage and dates. Yes she had an herb garden growing right on the table. Tracy's forte is sustainable cooking. Oh, and this is a state of the art kitchen. It was freaking awesome. I loved having knives that Freddy Krueger would be jealous of and two ovens as well as tons of cooking stuff...... There's something great about getting your hands right into food and making it yourself. The smells, tasting it as you begin to pull it together, cutting, marinating, mixing, basting, ... It's primal. It's also fun.

BUT the thing I was getting at which made this so amazing, was the communal feeling of being with a group, working together to create something, having real interesting conversation and enjoying the fruits of our labors together.

Quality time. That's what this was. Too often we go out to bars and drink ourselves stupid. We scream to be heard above the roar of crappy music and go home feeling like we might as well have skipped the whole night.

This was the opposite of that. I got to enjoy delicious food. I got to enjoy good people. We ate in a beautiful living room with wine and the food WE cooked and continued our conversation and YES I was the life of the party but that isn't the point. The point is we all connected. I left full with a doggy bag wanting to hug people again. I didn't....but that's why I need to go back.

We need to put down our phones and look around. We all need to experience things sometimes. Smell the sage, goat cheese and mint that's out there. Taste new things and experience things out of our comfort zones sometimes as well as hear what people have to say as we really listen to them.

I loved this night. I would go back again and share this experience with others.      And I will.  

Special Thanks to Tony and Tracy.

It's the 2011 Topsfield Fair!

This fair is close to Boston. It's a half hour away at most straight up route one.

But if you don't know what you're doing you will end up paying $10 to park.
IF you don't know know what you're doing you will end up paying about $4 or $5 a ride. Imagine forking over 5 bucks to ride a ferris wheel for like 5 minutes? Pleeeeez.

There are some good rides and some really really shitty wastes of money.    

The swings that lift you about 100 feet up are great. The Zipper ride that looks like it might fall apart is great. The ride where you spin really fast and stick to the wall is great. The newer rides are pretty good. It helps if you're with kids but not necessary.

Anything that looks like a haunted house or a funhouse is to be avoided. Cheesy as hell. No redeeming value.

They have a dunk tank with a clown/asshole making fun of people. This is great just to watch people getting dissed.

The Topsfield fair is really two separate places. The Midway is run by Fiesta Shows and is full of unwinnable games and the rides mentioned above. You can blow through a LOT of cash playing the stupid games and the people who work there are some of the scariest, creepiest people on the earth.

The other part is the food, the shows, the animals, the farmers,..... the real country fair stuff and that is quaint, fun and my favorite parts personally. These people are mostly locals and supporting them is a good thing. Although, the chinese have like 50 spots selling animal hats and blankets. (why let them rent so many spots?) ignore their crap.

NOW I know that was long preamble but here is my guide to enjoying Topsfield.

Drive to the Topsfield Common and park at the supermarket, or the church or anywhere where you can leave your car free. Then it's a nice 1 1/2 mile walk down the Danvers rail trail back to route one and the park. (ask anyone for directions. It's easy)  saved $10.

It's too late now but next year remember this.  A week before the fair opens go to the ticket office at the fair grounds and get your ride tickets. You get 20 rides for 20 bucks!   Instead of 4 rides for 21 bucks. If you live near the fair you get even bigger discounts.

NOW, one more trick for next year. The first day of the fair is a huge parade starting at the common. Meet there at 9 walk the route with all of us Cub Scouts and everyone else and just waltz into the fair for free.

The Duck and Pig races are fun.

The cattle, poultry, pigs, flowers, giant pumpkins, horses...... despite the smell, are a great escape. I love the hands on stuff. Petting cows and horses. What's not to like. You can wash your hands after.

Elephant and camel rides for the kids and a great petting zoo.

Live entertainment.  Magic shows, bands, Name entertainers, kids shows.......

FOOD. Much of the food is a rip off. BUT not all.

The cider donuts are being made fresh and HOT nonstop and are $4.50 for 6. I ate 12.  SO GOOD.

Bacon dogs.      Turkey ,stuffing,cranberry sauce sandwiches,

Tempura,  Deep fried Twinkies,    Whoopie Pies,    Knishes,    PIES!!!!

also tons of free samples. I ate a half a pizza for free. They also have awesome Kettle Corn.......    Blow off the fried dough, burgers, corn dogs or anything you can get up the road for half price.

You'd have to be a fool seriously not to find a way to have fun at a fair.

But the world's half full of fools.

Go to the Topsfield Fair with the other half.

Have FUN!

Believe it or not........It's gone already. Damn YOU Corner MALL!!!!

CLOSED.

Everything is out of business. The Greek place is gone, the Indian place is gone, Sbarro's is gone, the other one has been gone so long I don't remember what it was and lastly an awesome bakery lasted two weeks and is gone.......seriously.

What is wrong with the management here? You can't keep a food court in business? Look in the mirror and realize that you are charging too much!
You treat your tenants like shit and set them up to fail!

You have at least 5 security guards there. Why don't you train them? The place is FULL of riff raff. Don't harass the mom with a stroller waiting for her husband to buy a coffee and tell her she can't stand by the stairs and wait. (I saw this happen)

How about send the cowardly prick into the hell hole of a bathroom and make him remove the three homeless junkies crapping on the floor and shooting up?  (I saw this happen too)

I work down there and I am in there every single day to buy coffee or eat.

It is a disgrace.  What's worse is that the owner of this disgrace gets to make decisions that affect ALL of Downtown Crossing.

Welcome to the Bizarro World.  Do you get it? Because I don't.

You assholes blew it. I WATCH the games. I don't need to listen to them.

I don't care what a few middle aged fat bastards think about sports.

When I'm in the car I need music.   Only music. JUST MUSIC!

So Fuck You!

ps. Go Sox
      Go Pats
      Go Bruins
      Go Celts!

but you guys..... GO AWAY!

In order for your membership to work you MUST be good in MATH.

Everything is not a bargain at Costco.  Buying a ton of something can be convenient but not really a deal. So here's the things you should buy:

1. Meat. This is easy see what the price is per pound. It's cheaper.

2. Cereal. Always cheaper.

3. Cooking Oil. and condiments. Giant ketchups and Mustards, spices...

4. Bread. Rolls. Cakes. Deserts......

5. Booze. Buy ALL your alcohol at Costco! It's so so much Cheaper.

6. Candy.  

7. Electronics like Laptops and TV's are almost always cheaper but comparison shop to make sure.

8. Glasses. the kind you wear on yo face.  Cheaper!

9. Pain relievers. Giant generic Ibuprofens or aspirin are cheaper.

10. Big bags of salad are generally cheaper but not fruit and veggies.

Always go with an empty stomach and stop and eat ALL the samples. That's a meal in itself. In the front the hotdog /soda deal is unreal and giant delicious pizza's for 10 bux? Really? Yup.

The gas station if they have one is a few cents cheaper too but not worth waiting on line for.

Don't buy vitamins, toothbrushes, cold cuts, toilet paper, sheets, towels, clothes, and anything that could go bad in a day or two like a giant bag of fruit.

The best place to save on toiletries and TP is CVS but you have to know the tricks and believe it or not Walmart is cheaper in many many areas.

Rock on people and once you save put a little away for a rainy day.

I am a Jew and I have the circumcision to prove it. Of course so do most of my friends and they aren't all Jews so in fact that proves nothing.

Just as saying that you grew up in NY or NJ and have had perfect bagels your whole life so you are in fact a bagel expert and the rest of us wouldn't know a good bagel if we had one land right on our circumcised private parts.

So what's the bottom line here? Why do NY bagels taste so Goddamn good and MA bagels don't? It's the water people!  NY water is better than our water because their water has candy in it! ....And I see dead people.

A good bagel must be made on the premises and be fresh. It must be dense. It should be somewhat crusty on the outside and chewy on the inside. If it was freshly baked and warm that wouldn't hurt either.

Bagel world's bagels are all these things. They are as close to a NY bagel as I've ever eaten up here.

It's bizarre really. In NY you can't get the fried clams with the bellies. We can't get the Jewish Deli's they have. We're 4 friggin hours away. How is that possible? It's retahded!!! They have clams there. We have Jews here!
WTF is the big deal!

Anyway The perfect bagel also must have taste and toppings. So if I order a poppy seed bagel. I want tons of those little black dots all over the bagel and in it. I want to taste Sesame Seeds and have them everywhere. I want my raisins to be doused and drowned in Cinnamon.

Bagel World is all these things.

The have LOX spread and NOVA. For you Goyim out there that is smoked salmon and any bagel place that doesn't have it is NOT a bagel place at all.

My perfect bagel:

Toasted Poppy Seed with cream cheese, butter, NOVA bermuda onion and a thick slice of tomato.

Bagel World has this. It is a great place.

I know this of course because I'm a Jew from NY and we need more Bagel Worlds and MORE Jewish deli's because I still miss my Knish, Chopped Liver, Matzoh Ball soup and Stuffed Derma.

Christ it's only 4 hours away.

For years I was a fool. I'm admitting this here and no where else.
I would want something and go get it. If I wanted a hot dog and the nearest guy had a hot dog for 17 bucks I'd buy it and not give a crap.

If I was in the mood for lobster or Chinese 7 nights a week I would have it and although I could afford it living this way I had not a care in the world about the future and if I did at the time today I would be RICH.

So what I'm doing with this review is sending a message to the former me's out there. Start saving now. Live like you are broke. Even if you ARE broke live like you're homeless. Sock the money away now. Trust me on this. Someday when you are sitting in a large paid for home and you're kids are away at summer camp and you are running around naked with your spouse all day without a care in the world you won't miss that 17 dollar hot dog at all.

Price Right is a supermarket where you can get about 75% off everything you need. Shopping here is a responsible choice. It is almost HALF the price of Stop and Shop, Shaws, Hanneford's and way way less than Whole Foods and Trader Joes. Market Basket is the least expensive place around and this is much much less here.

Examples:

Captain Crunch and most cereals  $1.99
Maxwel House or Folgers cans        $2.99
Rice a Roni                                             .75
A Pound of packaged sliced Honey Ham   $3.99

Also there is a huge selection of  Spanish, Asian, Caribbean and Mexican Food staples all dirt read DIRT cheap.

I would spend almost $200 when I would shop weekly at Shaws. Here I spent about $70.00 and got even more stuff and I cook all the time.

Huge fresh produce dept also.

Yes it's no frills. You want to bitch about forking up a dime for a huge heavyweight plastic bag? Bring a bag with you or a box like at Costco.
It's called being green stupid.  Also if you would rather go somewhere with those signs above the isles and pay double. Hey go for it.

I'm all about the Benjamins these days which is why I can go to Mexico and eat Arepa's while you are eating white bread and water 3 meals a day.

Consider that.