"Evil will always triumph because good is dumb."
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Review votes:
3865 Useful, 4385 Funny, and 4139 Cool
Oakland, CA
Yelping SinceJune 2007
Things I LoveCoach Sushi, bacon dog cart, Gabe F's compliments, XKCD, lobster, Tool, White Zombie, taco trucks, concerts and live music, Urban humor, New York City, Macaroni and cheese, Chuck Taylors, Shakespeare, Flip flops, Google Docs, WiFi, coffee, hiking
Find Me In My Hometown When I'm Not Yelping... Why You Should Read My ReviewsMe fail english? That's unpossible!
My Second Favorite Website The Last Great Book I ReadForeskin's Lament
My First Concert My Favorite MovieImmortal Beloved
My Last Meal On Earthhttp://www.youtube.com... or Grimaldi's in Brooklyn
Don't Tell Anyone Else But...my favorite movie is really "Beavis and Butthead Do America"
Most Recent DiscoveryJoan of Ark is not Noah's wife
Current CrushOakland, CA 94611
(510) 985-1202
Cesar
Category: Tapas Bars
Neighborhoods: North Oakland, Piedmont Ave
Havana was like that for me. I am so happy that I gave it another chance because I will now continue to give it more chances. While the menu is a bit on the pricey side, there is no shortage of great meals to choose from. I've been blown away by my plantain-crusted halibut and am happy to have enough fried plantains left over to make a yummy breakfast tomorrow.
Now, again, the drinks cannot rival those that I have had just waves away from Cuba after almost losing my bikini bottoms in the Gulf. However, they were ok enough to compliment my great meal.
As for the service. Exemplary as well. I may just make fun of Walnut Creek a little less because I like this place so much.
See, look at my OG review. Am I a woman of her word, or what?
(PS, there is one in Alameda too.)
1 Previous Review: Hide »
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4/4/2008
I keep hearing how great the mojitos are.... Maybe I came in too soon after I returned from Miami/Key West? I mean, these were muddled swill. Come on Dub Crizzle! Step it up a notch. Although, if you have not had the pleasure of dangerously-close-to -Cuba mojitos, maybe you'll be fine.
Oh, but the food is amazing though. Especially the ahi, the fried plantains, and the mojo sauce...pronounced Mo-ho...not mo-joe...my bad.
It's been over a year though since I returned from my Gulf Coast Heartbreaker tour. Maybe my tastebuds lost their memory. If I return and like the mojitos, I will throw up another star.
Oakland, CA 94612
(510) 452-1664
Brown Couch Cafe
Categories: Mediterranean, Greek
Neighborhood: Oakland Chinatown
The barista/cashier woman is a real doll. I almost went behind the counter to give her a hug. Their furniture, including a brown velvet couch, is quite cozy and gives the coffee shop a homey feeling. It is sadly not open late; but I don't blame them considering how their neighborhood pretty much dies after 5 pm anyway. I suppose that a more Uptown location would make them open longer.
They are also very supportive of local food distributors trying to boost their business. This morning, they were selling cupcakes from an Oakland baker called James and the Giant Cupcake.
The coffee was decent enough. And cheaply-priced. And also had skim milk...not all independent coffee shops have that.
Also too, one of the menu items is called the "MC Hammer Wrap." I mean, does it get more Oakland than that?
Oakland, CA 94604
(415) 989-2278
BART - Bay Area Rapid Transit
Category: Public Transportation
Neighborhood: East Oakland
But, you know what? I see so many people bitch about the Bay Bridge and I've not seen too many people applaud BART for really stepping up and doing the best they could to accomodate the Bay Area when the Bay Bridge fell apart and was closed. Seriously. Give it up for BART.
Also, who can resist the freakshow that is the last train out of SF on a weekend? Only the 3 am PATH train to Jersey City is more entertaining.
San Francisco, CA 94109
(415) 440-6343
Fina Estampa
Category: Latin American
Neighborhoods: Civic Center/Tenderloin, Nob Hill
She did, in fact, have Mexican food and she loved it. I once again got my big platter of pealla that will feed me for three more days. We both shared a pitcher of their sangria that is probably more sacred than Holy Water and Lourde's healing fountain. And, best of all, because we went on a quiet Sunday afternoon, they had no problem letting us sit wherever we wanted for over three hours so that we could catch up.
There's a reason that this place has been around for decades and I love it more every time I go.
1 Previous Review: Hide »
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5/23/2009
The last time I went for hot Peruvian in the city was back when I was home for the summer on an internship and this one dude living in the Sunset was half Per....oh...wait.... yeah....food....
OK. Starting over.
Little known Michelle S. trivia. When I was a lot younger, my family used to raise and show Peruvian Paso horses. Check it out. http://www.napha.net/
Anyway, our trainer was from Peru. One year, my father did an extensive phone book search ('cause, like, no Yelp in the early nineties) and arranged for a limo to take us to Fina Estampa for our trainer's birthday. He loved it. It was so much fun. It was nearly twenty years ago and I was so surprised to see that it is STILL in SF.
As such, after being DRAGGED to UPS, I was allowed to pick dinner. I am so glad that I picked this place. It was even better than I remembered it. (Although, being old enough to drink probably helped...I was so stoked that the waiter carded me too).
The sangria is TO @#$%ING DIE FOR! ZOMG! You may think that a liter for $17 is a bit steep. You would be FLAT OUT WRONG! We were kinda worried that the liter would be mostly ice. However, we got a legit liter of un-iced, purely delicious sangria. And, um, it was bad to see that both of us could, in, fact finish it. Oops!
The meals may look expensive. However, their portions are ridiculous and should totally be shared family style. A plate of their fantabulous paella was way too much food for the two of us. We didn't even need to order anything else. (Though we are glad that we did).
OK, so I didn't technically eat Peruvian food last night. Spanish was just as good. ;)
So....yeah...um....I 'll be back soon.
Oakland, CA 94610
(510) 465-5464
Kingman's Lucky Lounge
Categories: Lounges, Music Venues
Neighborhoods: Lower Hills, Grand Lake
HAPPY HOUR ALL NIGHT LONG SUN - THUR!!!!!
You read me right.
2 Previous Reviews: Hide »
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3/14/2009
They are rumored to be coordinating a weekly Teacher Happy Hour that will last all night.
Give the teachers some love, people. Over 26,000 CA teachers got pink slips today. :*(
*continues studying for tomorrow's CSET* -
2/18/2008
The drinks are pretty bad-ass (has anyone else noticed that all the hip-but-not-hipster Oakland bars seem to put either Chambord or Alize in everything?), the lighting is sexy, the music is appropriate, and the furniture is hot and 70's porno. I mean, don't get me wrong, this bar has something going for it.
And I want to like this bar a lot. I mean, my first time at this bar was, unfortunately, on my first date with the now-famous Texty McA$$hole. Pretty good bar. My second time at this bar was on a later date with Texty McA$$hole right before we, uh, you know, for the first time. And then there were a couple other times sans him. And he is out of my life now and I really need to keep coming here so that I can erase memories of him with other memories.
I just cannot come on Saturday nights:
So, I recently unofficially accepted a new position at my company. Karen wanted to celebrate with me. I also needed to go out as this past Saturday was my first Saturday night out as a free woman! I had to show The Lake that the maneater is back!
So, I get ready in my jeans. And I don't mean just any jeans. I mean the, "I'm a free woman now, I am a maneater, look at me in these jeans, throw your phone numbers at me because these jeans were $200" jeans. I then venture down Grand Ave. with my pepper spray (the jeans are that awesome) to meet my favorite fellow supervixen, Karen, at the Lucky Lounge.
While waiting to close my tab....
Slimy Dude: Hey.
KMS pretends not to notice.
SD: Hey.
SD. Hey. What's your name?
KMS.: Kathy. (The drinking alias)
SD: Hi Kathy, you married?
KMS.: Uh, yeah. (Lie)
SD: You got friends?
KMS.: Yeah, and they're married.
SD: You married?
KMS.: Uh, yeah, yeah, I'm married. (Didn't he ask that already?)
SD: What 'bout you friends? (Didn't he ask that already as well?)
KMS.: They're all married.
SD: What about you?
KMS.: I'm married.
SD: Why you here then?
And the bartender finally lets me pay my tab.
*******
So, you are apparently not allowed to come here if you are married (which I am not, BTW). This sketchy stuff only seems to happen on Saturdays; so try other nights.
Unfortunately, the hottest guy I've ever seen here is Texty McA$$hole (because it was a rare occasion when I went for the hot guy instead of the smart guy). However, if one of you hot guys of Oakland want to stand up to that challenge, then you can PM me and wait on the leopard couch for me with a Purple Rain.
Oakland, CA 94609
(510) 652-7401
Genova Delicatessen
Categories: Caterers, Delis, Sandwiches
Neighborhoods: Temescal, North Oakland
And I totally ate it while I read my humbling lipid blood test results.
And it was totally worth it...and by "it" I mean "they" because I bought multiples in order to make the $10 credit card minimum. But hey, cheaper than a trip to New York, right?
1 Previous Review: Hide »
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10/25/2007
I might actually give this place 3.5 stars. It was certainly above average but not spectacular.
Mario and I were texting each other back and forth about sushi while I was eating left over pasta for lunch yesterday. Then he says he wants sushi for lunch now. I then say "Don't tell me that because I just ate pasta leftovers." "Ok, we'll have it for dinner then."
So he comes by my house and we start discussing where to go. Mijori is in our neighborhood; but we ALWAYS go there. Except when we went to Koryo last week because he came over too late...this probably ruined my "relationship" with my "sushi boyfriend" who works there now btw. No more free stuff for Michelle. =( Um, anyway, Mario decided that I needed to try this place. I obliged.
So, Mario described this place as a "Sushi Denny's". And he was pretty much right. The place is big and cheesy in a minimalist way. It was actually kinda frightening to see all the white. I was also convinced that the building used to be a Sizzler. It also felt like going to dim sum because a) the place was big, b) the place was crowded with a wait (although we only waited 15 minutes MAYBE because we got there around 8:30 and we settled for sitting at the bar...which is actually not settling for me because I actually prefer the bar), and c) Mario and I were the only non-Asians there (which is actually cool because then it's legit). That last sentence doesn't affect the quality of the food. It was to mention that the atmosphere is not like the hole-in-the-wall in Koreatown joints that I love to death. It also means that it is not the "let's play loud and crappy techno music and show anime and charge too much because we look trendy" atmosphere that you find at Blowfish.
So, we got seated near the open door. We were finally able to have someone close it for us. Service was pretty prompt but absent-minded and disorganized (had a couple waitresses for a while). They were out of the sake I wanted. HOWEVER, their sake menu is designed for "sake training wheels" (me) because it lists them from extreme dryness to extreme sweetness.
The cuts of fish were fresh enough and actually quite generous...once they got the order right. AND they had shiro maguro rolls...not common, certainly appreciated by Michelle S.. So, for the price, can't beat it.
Then the mochi ice cream was as hard as a rock. And they didn't even cut it into pieces so it was easier to eat. So, yeah, almost broke a tooth on the mochi. However, they actually had red bean mochi available...not common.
But overall, nice enough place. It was a good change from the "tried and true" that I always go to. It was certainly not awful. I just don't know how regularly I am going to drive all the way out to Alameda just wait an hour for sushi. Hopefully they'll have my sake next time!
Conversation at the wedding I was at:
He: So, you're staying in Queens, huh? You're not staying in Jamaica, are you?
Me: Actually, that's exactly where I am staying.
He: That's the ghetto!
later that conversation:
He: Everyone drop what city you're from!
Vegas
DC
Westchester
Me: OAKLAND!
He: %$#@! You're from Oakland!?!?!?!?!? No wonder you're OK with staying in Jamaica!
OK, Jamaica is not that bad of a neighborhood. This was the only hotel room in NY that was both a) under $100 a night and b) had a Yelp review. In all fairness, I booked the hotel with little research; but it wasn't as bad as it could've been.
Bad: OK, the location was little to be desired. I got to my hotel very late at night and the neighborhood looked sketchy even for me. And I walk around Downtown Oakland by myself at night. (Yes, people, I know how bad that is). However, in the daylight, it's not so bad. Nonetheless, when I got a taxi to a wedding in Long Island, the driver said that if I were located just a few blocks south, he wouldn't pick me up because it would've been too dangerous.
As the previous Yelper mentioned, the walls are thin. When I am hungover from whatever no-good I was up to the night before, I don't want to be woken up by loud tourists and housekeeping. That sucked.
The elevator was SUPER %$#ING SLOW. Do you know how many subway rides I missed because the elevator took so long to get to the 9th floor? I finally started taking the stairs. At that, the ONLY ONE ELEVATOR that the entire hotel had was super small and tiny. Also, it looked really dilapidated for such a new hotel. They didn't even bother upholstering it. They simply had stitched vinyl hanging from the ceiling! Why bother?!?!?!?! And what's so bad with the brass finish that you were covering up? Weird. Again, I got so annoyed that I finally started taking the stairs.
This is probably only bothersome to me. If you get there late at night, the only nearby things that are open are Indian restaurants and Dunkin Donuts.
If you get into a lot of late-night debauchery in Manhattan and are too freaked out to ride the subway by yourself, you have to BEG to get a taxi to drive you back out to Jamaica. It's, like, only ten miles and only a $20-something dollar taxi ride. Ok, maybe in NY that's too much to ask. Do you know what a similar distance taxi ride from San Francisco to Oakland costs? Over $40. That was not awesome.
But, let's end the review on a positive note. There were some goods.
It is only a few blocks from the F line's 169th street station. Yes, this is the second to last station on the line. But, oh well, I got a lot of reading done. Me and the F line got very close.
It is a short taxi ride to the JFK airport.
The service at the front desk was impeccable. They were really great. When the latch in my bathtub drain got stuck, they were ON IT. They always got taxis for me. They always helped me find local businesses for my emergency needs. Because of how great they were, I feel bad for how I kinda didn't like the hotel. Nothing is perfect. And there was a reason why it was so reasonably-priced.
Oakland, CA 94607
(510) 251-8770
B Restaurant & Bar
Category: American (New)
Neighborhood: Old Oakland
The Good:
The Happy Hour (if your server is attentive enough to wait on you and respond to you before happy hour is over)
The Don Riley Drink
The oysters during happy hour
The atmosphere
The pork belly that comes with poached egg on top of it...pork belly benedict!
I don't particularly love them, but those truffle oil fries are pretty popular
The bad:
The desserts were worth neither the cost nor the calories
They didn't have any happy hour drinks with whiskey in them
The service was lax
The ugly:
Did I mention the service already? Oh, I did? It was overall not impressive, but here are two specific examples:
Menu states that a chocolate cake comes with whipped cream, caramel sauce, and coffee gelato. The gelato was my draw. I get the cake and it came without gelato. "Um, excuse me, I thought this came with coffee gelato." "It does. We're out of it. Price reflects that."
Um......why didn't you tell me that up front? I would have ordered something else. I just ate it hoping that I'd like it but it was bitter and terrible and CLEARLY LACKING COFFEE ICE CREAM!!!!!!!! Ugh, the only things that make me happier than a pig rolling around in his own $#@% are ice cream, coffee and whiskey! You blue balled me! Not cool!
Usually pizzas come with a tin of grated cheese and a tin of crushed pepper. A pizza showed up without them. They were then requested. Then only a tin of peppers shows up. Waiter says, "We're still working on the cheese....but you still have cheese on the pizza."
If there was enough cheese on the pizza, more cheese would not be requested.
Also, I didn't get to pay happy hour price for my pizza because my waitress conveniently disappeared until 6:40.
I'm sorry. I hate knocking service too much because I know we have our bad days at work. I wanted to assume we were a large crowd and that bogged them down. I hate criticizing service on a Yelp review because I then get nasty PMs from no-friend, no-picture, and only one Yelp review assholes who either clearly work for or are boning somone who works for the restaurant and am told that I am a fat, lazy, asshole with no perspective on life.... Oh no, this has happened. Seriously. But I'm sorry. For the prices that these people charge in the type of economy that we live in, kick it up a notch.
1 Previous Review: Hide »
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9/16/2007
So, I think I need to come back to this place for dinner; I'd probably have more to say about it once I do.
Ambience wise, this place is actually pretty slick. It's cute on the outside (but then again, most of Old Oakland is). The inside is simple but slick. Even the wait staff is beautiful.
So, the brunch menu is somewhat limited. But the brunch selection is about what you expect for a brunch menu--something sweet from the griddle, eggs benedict, bloody marys, you get the picture. I was craving some sweetness, so I got the french toast. The bacon was thick, limp, and fatty. The french toast was a little too sweet (overpowering vanilla flavor--as french toast is the only thing that I can cook very well, I am comfortable with reviewing and am proud of myself for deciphering it's shortcomings) and also burnt (my french toast had crispy edges). However, the berry compote was tasty.
Not awful, but not awesome. Again, I only came for brunch. I do want to try this place again for dinner because I'm certain that is what it does best. Also, this looks like it would be a good date restaurant. So, I'll come back after dark. And, should I return for brunch, I'll get something savory next time.
Date

I know I know I know. Why the %$#@ would someone be out and about that late on a Tuesday? I'll tell you why! Maybe, you had a very productive study session at a nearby coffee shop and you need a pick-me-up to reward yourself with. Maybe, you had a shitty date at a nearby restaurant and need a pick-me-up to cheer yourself up with. Or, maybe, you're like me and you just treated yourself to a relaxing massage and hot tub session at Piedmont Springs and the night could only be more perfect with a serving of their bread pudding and a glass of sangria. And you will shamelssly walk in and belly up to the bar when you're wearing a velour track suit, flip flops, and wet hair, so-beg-your-pardon, because you roll like that.
Speaking of bread pudding, it's big enough to share. Or take home half for breakfast the next day. Because, really, best time for sweets is right when you wake up.
Speaking of drinks, their sangria is easily my favorite in the East Bay. Notice I said "East Bay" because Fina Estampa makes a mean pitcher themselves. But if you're a sober driver, or you really cannot make yourself drink on a weeknight, they also make some pretty delicious special virgin drinks too. I cannot remember what the one I had was called...but it was basically a lemony-minty mojito-ey thing without rum. It was quite good.
I'm sure that they started this happy hour in protest to the time when the Oakland meters were enforced until 8 pm. That's now been rolled back; but the happy hour is still in. Stop by.
The common cups of grab-it-yourself utensils still grosses me out.