Javier "troll bait" D.'s Profile

There is never a time when I have felt that the entrance price at any zoo is too much.  No exception here!  After all, we are getting to see live exotic animals up close and personal.  

Every person's inner child/geek is awakened when the opportunity presents itself to inform the rest of the party everything he or she knows about the komodo dragon, or the lion, or tigers, or elephants.  I know that I am instantly transformed into an obnoxious know-it-all docent recalling even the most minute detail from the safari cards I used to collect as a kid.  There is certainly a time and place for geeking out and my favorite time is zoo time!  I honestly think I missed my calling as a zoologist, and you may feel the same way if you were as book smart as I was in the fifth grade about animals.  I suspect every kid dreams of a lifetime tending to animals when they visit a zoo.

All that said, you will have a great time at this zoo.  It's arranged in a couple of concentric circles so if you give yourself an entire day to see it you can certainly make it all the way around, or at least you can see most of it like we did.  The animals here all seem well cared for and don't seem to mind their enclosures.  While not ideal, I did notice they have a good deal of space to roam with the exception of the warthog who was a heck of a lot more active than I had ever imagined.  You will notice that there are fully horned longhorn steer in the same pen as the giraffes.  At first, I thought they had to be some kind of import, but no, just regular longhorns.  Just when I thought to myself, "how boring and odd," they erupted in a battle of horn locking and butting.  I'm a native Texan and I felt proud watching them mix it up like that.  Then I thought, "those are steer, why the sense of pride?"  Silly, I know, but hook-em-horns y'all!

Wear a hat and drink plenty of water year round, the Arizona sun is a killer and the desert climate is every bit as dry as you can't even imagine.  Ideally one would go during the winter, the weather is mild enough i suspect the animals are out basking and you won't suffer heat stroke trying to spy the elusive wild dogs or the cheetahs.

I recommend this zoo to anyone passing through or if you're a native to the area.  Somehow the zoo tends to lift my spirits and makes me feel a bit smaller and less important in this world.  I like that idea, since some are under the impression that we can treat mother nature any way we please.  The zoo reminds me that there are more important things on this earth than a new car or what my 401K is doing this year.  

"When the world decides it's had enough of us, it will shake us off like a bad case of the fleas..." George Carlin

This restaurant follows the tradition of so many with large portions and a snub for the necessarily balanced meals that are so en vogue as well as good for the waistline.  What they lack in new notions of the modern restaurateur, they more than make up for in flavor.

I was instructed by friends to have the artichoke spinach dip which did not disappoint.  The creamy base and texture mostly comprised of the wilted spinach was punctuated with the tangy finish of artichoke without the pungent sting that often comes with the vinegar in canned or bottled artichokes.  Were they fresh?  Not too sure, but they weren't overpowering and that's a good thing.  The dip was served with tortilla chips.  I don't think this strange since I'm from Texas and live for a lightly salted corn chip to dip into anything.  It was a nice start to what would prove a very good meal.  

The wine list is not a short one, but it's not so long that you can get lost trying to order something appropriate to the meal.  We had a nice bottle of Malbec that rarely disappoints when paired with steak.  If anyone knows steak it's those Argentinians so it should follow that most every Malbec I've tried goes well with one.

Before I got to my steak, my salad was presented thoughtfully with the dressing on the side.  I had chosen the cilantro ginger vinaigrette which sounded delicious to me.  I like the conscientious way that he recommended I take it on the side just in case I wasn't satisfied.  The portion was huge which I certainly won't complain about for salad.

Ahhh the steak.  Mine was a ribeye cooked in a Worcestershire sauce served with four tomatoes topped with Gorgonzola and fresh basil.  This plate was a special for the night so it's debatable whether you will be able to order it again.  My mouth watered as soon as it hit the table.  The first bite proved my nose correct and the somewhat medium cooked steak was decidedly on course to my belly.  I love a steak with Gorgonzola.

Houston's ribs are amazing.  Sweet and savory.  They were the highlight of the table since everyone was looking for the first opportunity to jump into the others' meals for a little taste of what scents were teasing from the next plate to the left.  Next time I go it will be very hard to keep me away from those ribs.

I recommend the Warm Five-Nut Brownie.  Served in a pool of cream with a caramel drizzle and served a la mode, it's presentation was recommended for our birthday girl.  She was so impressed that she shared... or maybe she was just full... it was good.  

Overall, I give our experience four stars.  The entire experience was thoughtfully assembled by our waiter.  He allowed us the personal time to talk to the birthday girl and open presents, he was patient and went slowly enough through our orders to make them a bit more complicated than we made them.  By this I mean he took extra care to ensure that nothing slipped our notice and we would be completely satisfied.  Had it not been for my slightly overcooked steak, Houston's would have gotten a full five stars.

I'm never one to pan an event that offers free food and drink.  My belly thanks you.

My buddy Neil (who magically transmogrophies into Neiliyo to make a musical appearance) always rocks.  I have not known too many acts who are so meticulously put together and then presented in such a way that they seem completely off-the-cuff.  He has a way of creating something well ahead of time and making it seem totally improvised.  Bravo again mister, you never fail to entertain.

I like the Iron Gate.  It is divey in the only way that I like dive bars.  I don't know exactly how to expand on that note, but I like.  The one large open room with the necessary coin-op foosball and pool tables get their workout as well they should.  The fellows behind the bar were attentive and quick and cool like bartenders should be...

Eastside Pies always delivers on the flavor, and I will have to give them a visit to give their stuff a fair assessment.  Soon Eastside, soon.

Delish cupcakes are great, I don't have a healthy sweet tooth, so you won't catch me imbibing the sugars, but dayum, those were some good cakes!

Kevin, as always you make a party happen when faced with mounting odds.  Even when that other bar that shall remain nameless backed out at the last minute, you brought it together.

Overall, this party was not the greatest I've seen, but it was fun getting to play a little dress-up, reconnecting with old friends as well as making some new ones, and getting a good laugh and some fun electrofunk as only Neiliyo can deliver.  For all those reasons I am still a fan of our little Yelp Elite get-togethers no matter how large or small and they will always get 5 stars whether I feel like socializing with everyone in the room, or just a select few.

TWO NIGHTS AFTER CHRISTMAS
by JAVIER D.

'Twas two nights after Christmas in the southwestern sand

the family did travel back to their own land.

The air was cold, the hours did while,

songs were sung as uncle Sammy counted each mile.

The children did snack on cereal bars,

and when Javier drove they passed all the cars.

Sharon and Sarah slept with their noses in the air,

Maddy used fingers to comb Abby's hair,

When under the hood there arose such a clatter,

The dashboard was quick to tell what's the matter.

"The alternator's busted, it belongs in the trash!"

The hotels and mechanics would be counting their cash.

The car went no further than DQ in Ozona.

They would not make it home from ole Arizona.

But what to their surprise on the iPhone did query,

but a guy with a Napa, like an auto parts fairy.

He was closed for the night and 'twas a Sunday,

but that made no matter to him he did say.

He would turn on his computer and sell them the part.

He would go out of his way and show them his heart.

"Ya'll are here, in Ozona?"  He sounded surprised,

"Only in a small town", they would later surmise.

With a shuffle and a grunt he smiled a big smile,

"you'll be back on the road in a very short while."

It took longer than expected they thought they'd imposed,

but through it Vince smiled, his face quite reposed.

He sold them the part, the sockets and soap,

those things in skilled hands gave the girlies some hope.

Bryce, Cammy and Aili ran around while they toiled,

not by the suburban, would playtime be foiled.

They wrenched and they pounded on the serpentine belt,

almost impossible at one point it felt.

At the end it looked easy, as it certainly should,

no one overstressed, yet not feeling too good.

As Texas laid ahead, almost half of the state,

it seemed four more hours their beds would await.

Had it not been for Vince and his generous heart

they would be in Ozona the next day to depart.

So let it be known in all of the land,

if you ever have trouble out there in the sand,

if your luck is mixed and your car's broken close by,

there's no other place better you're likely to try.

This family shop truly goes out its way,

to make sure you and yours can be on your way.

First a commentary on Mad Men:

Some things that I am glad are gone-
smoking in bed
smoking in the lobby of the hospital
smoking in airplanes

Some things I'm sad are gone-
suits for the men
dresses for the ladies
furs
personal bars in one's office

The loss of innocence in America couldn't have had a more stylish backdrop.  

This party was amazing.  Hors d'ouvres were delicious, drinks were dangerously good and the company was great as always.  I am happy to say that when I extended my hand to people that I had not met yet, they kindly took it and shook it.

As we arrived dressed in our finest fineries, a realization hits me like a ton of bricks.  We almost lost the days of the "fancy party".  I am continually impressed that Yelp has incorporated this into it's business model.  We give them content, and they give us a reason to get all duded up.

Thanks be to Kevin N. and Henri of the Highball, to Maker's Mark, And Harpoon Brew and Annie Ray's Mad Men themed photo booth, also DJ Greg Most.  This party was at the very top of parties I've attended and I'm grateful to bea part of such an incredible cultural phenomenon as the Austin Yelp community.

I like buying trendy clothes, there I said it.  I want three or four things that will get me into whatever bar of my choosing when I decide it's my night to find my way there.  I want a kick ass print-tee with a whale and a pair of chopsticks in some collage of day-glo 80's inspired splatter.  I want a members only jacket and an argyle sweater that I will wear only one time and cast away to the corner of my closet when the mood strikes.

This is where I go to find those things for not-so-much coin #on the reg.  I am unrepentant in my search of silly out-of-my-age-bracket clothing choices to the point of completely ignoring scoffs from people older and younger than me.  Ask me if I care.  I do not.  

I don't speak with authority on everything, but I do know trends (been around long enough to observe a complete cycle).  I know something about style and am not afraid to wear it and experiment with it.  I can always find something that I will be very willing to wear at this store that some would dub a hipster den of iniquity.  I will up your accusations of my being a douchey hipster type and declare you incapable and not imaginative enough to dress thyself in the latest trend.  I don't need your rules.

If you were expecting this to be about sports and thought it would be all about UT you were wrong.  You might have been having bad flashbacks to your times more wussified.  Let it go already.  If you were emo before it was called emo and you still can't forgive people for picking on you, you should see a therapist... preferably one with an appetite for football.  

As humans, we celebrate our physical prowess with sports and have found an excuse to drink the afternoon away in the name of our collegiate allegiances.  We are excused by most civilized society based on the hazy experiences or intense stress we shared during the years we chose to be "prostrate to a higher mind" (to borrow a phrase from the Indigo Girls).  I can think of no better way to celebrate the days of my relative youth at UT than to recreate the times that I don't really remember with beer, pizza, and my hook-em-horns gang signs flashing every chance I could get.

Oh the pizza!  Tony C's makes a great coal-fired pizza.  The proscuitto and goat cheese pizza was really great.  I was lucky enough to get the opportunity to taste most of the pizza there since it was either made with goat cheese or mozzarella.  All the olives I could eat and more goat cheese to spread?  Holy cow, did I make it to the right tailgate party or what?!?  I will definitely be trying Tony C's pizza soon.  

I spent a grand total of 20 minutes the entire day watching football.  That's not really unusual, I'm a Sportscenter fan and rarely watch more than a couple of teams' games in a year.  I can watch a lot of highlights though.

That photobooth wall was great.  Don't hate me for being photogenic, when you hang close to the booth all afternoon and have a few beers it's where you end up.  Thanks to Trumer Pils for their endless pours.  Also, I hope Lindsay enjoyed beating me out of the first round at dizzy washers. I cried secretly even though I told everyone it was my plan to get eliminated.

Came here on a whim.  The night was cloudy and comfortable so we asked to be seated outside (Wednesdays aren't too bad for dining, it's usually a toss up whether they will be busy or not).  I've always admired the floorplan for the outdoor area.  The patio has a great view down the 360 corridor and when it's colder the outdoor fireplace is always nice in the foreground.  The clouds were moving fast as were the drinks.  Fortunately I never lose sight of my real intention to Yelp about my experiences.

I don't believe that Z-Tejas is lacking for loyal customers and they certainly don't seem as serious about that as they maybe should be.  I can attribute the good times to good company and good drinks but the food came with no avocados and no apologies or accommodation.  

The scallops were very good with the green apple slaw.  They were sitting in a puree of sweet potato and topped with a delicious spicy green sauce that deserves another visit.  The rainbow trout with rice and seasonal veggies was fine on the whole, but the pesto rub just didn't translate as pesto.  Maybe a lack of pungent cheese in the pesto and not enough basil was where they went awry?  What does that leave?  It leaves me wondering what they actually rubbed the trout with.  I had to add salt which isn't usually a problem, but I felt like the dish needed the awakening only salt can give.

I would appreciate knowing what the kitchen will not be offering that night so I can plan accordingly.  When I have my mind set on eating avocado, I want avocado dammit.  I try not to blame the waitress, but when I got no response the three subsequent trips after I mentioned the avocado, I had to wonder if the kitchen screwed up or what.  Ultimately it was up to the waitress to smooth it over and that didn't happen.

I will be visiting again, since the cornbread was hot and the drinks were strong. The view is great, and if the kitchen can bat a home run for me on the next visit I will be adding a star.  Better luck next time, I hope.

If a restaurant could have culture built into its walls, this one has captured that secret beneath its paint.  Somewhere between the low lighting, the mismatched silverware and the chic but provencal decor, there is a comfortable eating area with dark walls, waitresses with strikingly classical features, and a bar of beautiful people enjoying the company of everyone around them.  There is a romantic haze in the air that can only be described as some kind of anachronistic transplant of an old choppy celluloid film complete with subtitles and  a tinny soundtrack.

I walked in to find standing room only and a general happy feeling not like many restaurants I've patronized in the Austin area.  The wine was pouring and the owners spoke french much too quickly for me to understand.  I had the chance to ask a couple of questions and brush up on my french with no attitude for my poor conjugation.  They appreciated the diction and offered no correction.  

I had the distinct pleasure of a game of patanque (France's version of Bocce) with the owners' friend and fellow chef after a great meal.  I'm reserving a star for the next time I come here, and I fully expect them to get it.  The only thing that kept me from giving this restaurant a five star rating is the fact that they ran out of exactly what I wanted, but hey it was late.  They will work out the kinks and when they do, they will be busier than even they could imagine.  This restaurant is something everyone should experience.

Jake Bryer and Joel Ganucheau, proprietors of AAG,  know how to have an art opening.  The scene is definitively South Austin.  Any given time I was either talking to a despondent ex-hippy, a lawyer, a punk rocker, or a grizzled vet.  There were hot chicas left and right, and artsy types, familiar faces, and, what in the world... no pretentious attitude that I could pick up on!  It was an excellent time to peruse the show as well as the permanent collection all of which is for sale.  

They have just opened a new space next door, installed a cased opening so you can walk through and lit the place from floor to ceiling.  The new space is a great addition since the old space was getting pretty cramped.  I was told that is where they will be showing their featured artists.

Austin Art Garage is still one of the best places in Austin to get local affordable original art.  The art ranges from abstract to design heavy, sculpture and photography, and some of the best stuff I've seen was by its proprietors.  It is all worth checking out, and these guys are on their way to becoming the hot thing in town if they aren't already.