ruggy "I heart Lorenzo Lamas" j.'s Profile

Oh, snaps! Forgot to mention that the have a library! Yeah, it rules. Perhaps a drunken book swap is more accurate, but nonetheless, they've got reading material. Gotta love it!

My quest to find a quality burrito in San Francisco marches on....

I don't understand what the problem is. Burritos have to be the easiest comfort food item on the planet to whip together. Get some refried beans, some rice (but not too much), a meat item and a few peripheral additions... wrap that shits in a grilled (not steamed!) tortilla, and you've got a meal.

But seriously, though... what the fuck? In a city filled with talented culinary professionals, why can't someone figure out how to make a decent burrito? I know that's a generalization, and there are places that *do* exist, which will likely put the brakes on my bitching and complaining... but failed attempt after failed attempt just has me so very aggravated.

On a scale of 1-10, El Faro would probably nab a 2 on the scale of tasty burritos in San Diego... but sadly, in San Francisco, this was the best burrito I've had yet. It was of the breakfast variety, and it had a very slight resemblance to what I was raised on. Eggs, bacon, refried beans, cheese and hot sauce. On paper, it should have been a knock out... but it was just OK at best.

Something I seriously don't under stand is why every Mexican food joint in SF heats up their burritos with a panini press? From first hand experience, there isn't a goddamn food purveyor anywhere in Mexico that uses a contraption like that to heat up a tortilla, or the entire burrito for that matter. They use a flat grill or an open flame.

And the wrapping... don't even get me started. When steaming a burrito in a press, it adds condensation to the tortilla. Then, when you wrap it in tin foil, it not only expedites the spread of wetness, it also locks in the moisture and causes the entire burrito to become a soggy, sloppy mess. Again, in Mexico and San Diego where the burrito has been perfected, there isn't a legitimate taco shop anywhere that double-wraps a steamed burrito in tin foil... it's always paper. Seems easy enough to fix, right? Well, apparently not in El Faro's case, or the case of many others in the city.

El Farolito is my last hope. If what I've heard is to be believed, Christmas will be saved in the Ruggeford H. Joesten III household. But until then, I'll be waiting burrito-less with bated breath.

Full disclosure: since the menu has changed quite considerably over here at Bruno's, I was treated to a nice bounty at little more than the cost of a tip for our outstanding server, Kaitlin.

We all know Bruno's as a fun place to shake a tail feather and grab some bottle service after 10:00pm on the weekends, but they now have a revamped food menu courtesy of Broken Record and Quince alums, Ryan Ostler and Katharine Zacher, and their new focus is down home, American comfort food.

While the genre of eats does, in fact, fall into that comfort food category with options like cheesy grits, collard greens and whoopie pies... I prefer to call it Urban BBQ. Their pulled pork sandwich and BBQ pork ribs are fantastic, but they have a certain upscale flair that isn't consistent with the Southern BBQ you're likely to find in Texas, Memphis or the Carolinas Sure, the methods of preparation are the same, but it's a far cry from paper plates, insect repellent and fly swatters on the Gulf.

Don't take that the wrong way, though, as Bruno's has a good thing cooking. They have an interesting approach to tackling an age-old style of eating. Heck, our nation's forefathers were grillin' up brisket and pulled pork as far back as the 16th century, so it's nice to see a fresh take on a movement that was around in a time when wooden teeth and missionary-style were still social norms.

Their menu has everything you could ever ask for when completely throwing caution to the wind when it comes to abandoning your diet. Fried green tomatoes, po'boy sandwiches, hushpuppies and pesto mac 'n' cheese are just a few of the high-caloric gems that dot their menu. I personally had an opportunity to indulge in their pulled pork sandwich, pork ribs, cheesy/spicy grits and collard greens with bacon. The ribs were huge and glazed perfectly with a sweet, yet savory BBQ sauce. While the animal proteins itself weren't completely fall-off-the-bone, it didn't take much effort to strip those bones of everything but the marrow that lives inside. The pulled pork was marinated in a sweet BBQ sauce, but was also dusted with a nice amount of spicy aioli that gave it a lingering kick. The sides were fantastic as well, with the collard greens being a standout. The flavor of brown sugar and hickory-smoked bacon that seeps into those leafy greens really makes the dish.

The vibe at Bruno's also really aligns itself well with this kind of eatery. It's dark with warm colors, cool music and a friendly assortment of folks ranging from employees, bar flys and casual eaters. The hodgepodge of personalities makes the hang just about as comfortable as the food itself. The prices are just right, with most items hovering in the $9-$12 range, with the most expensive offering being the plate of pork ribs at $16. In a city chalk full of overpriced restaurants, you really can't argue with the affordability.

Of course, once 10:00pm hits, this place completely transforms. Expect hip-hop, top 40 jams and bottles of Grey Goose on ice. Don't fret, though... as the staff are really good about alerting patrons about the flood of party animals at 22-hundred hours. It's actually not a bad way to start the evening if you're planning on shaking yer rumppppp-ah, because you can grab some BBQ'ed goodness before dumping booze all over your bloodstream.

Then, after eating and dancing all night with your boo, you can explain to him or her that a bear ate all of your clothes, except for a sexy assortment of boner jams and a pile of condoms. Or, not.... (sorry, bad Bruno joke).

Usually, I'm morally opposed to visiting pubs like McTeagues. Seems like for a bar owner, the easiest recipe for success is to grab some abandoned space, throw some dark woods on the walls, get Guinness set up on tap... and bang, you've got yourself an Irish pub. Most of the time, capturing the essence of a true "Irish pub" is a futile attempt at most, which is why I typically avoid 'em altogether.

McTeagues is different, though. It's got soul.

I'm usually only in there on Sunday mornings for 10:00am football with this nifty dude named Justin. Know the guy? Well, he's a fun chap to watch the games with, as are most of the usual patrons early on Sunday morning. They have five or six TVs with the NFL Sunday Ticket. It's first come, first serve on the games... so if you claim a spot early, you can sit right in front of your team as they go to work.

The bartenders are pretty cool as well. Michael (I think) is usually the guy in charge on Sunday mornings, and he makes a killer Bloody Mary. Meanwhile the other bartender Curtis' claim-to-fame is that he over-served then-Titans QB Steve McNair (R.I.P.) to the point where he was pulled over for a DUI when he was a bar owner in Tennessee. He tells this story with a certain swagger and sense of pride that makes me wonder what his most memorable conquest in life is to this point. DUIs are never funny, but somehow, the way he tells the story makes me giggle.

When football isn't streaming out of every screen in the joint, it's a fun and friendly place to grab $2 Lone Stars (the official beer of Texas) and enjoy the people watching along Polk Street. It gets a little douchey on Friday and Saturday nights, as those Marina weekend warriors have seemingly taken over the area, so tread lightly when high-tide hits the Tendernob.

I've been meaning to hit Escape from NY for a hot minute now, and last week, I finally had an opportunity to swoop up some by-the-slice action. True to it's preceding reputation, it was a quality slice of pie, served up nice and hot, and came with a minimal wait.

They have pretty much any pie you can imagine. Everything from plain cheese pies to pizzas featuring sliced, roasted potatoes & roasted garlic cloves over pesto sauce - YUM!

Plus, they have a pizza named after Andy Warhol. What's not to love about that?

With so many different bars and restaurants in the Haight-Ashbury neighborhood, it seems to me that there are only really a handful that I'd ever consider droppin' loot on. Maybe I've had bad luck, but it seems like an overwhelming majority of these joints are trying to make a quick tourist buck. Instead of listing every restaurant that I currently approve of in the area, I'll just let you know that I think Magnolia is doing things right.

Owned by the same crew that runs the Alembic, they've been able to capture a similar neighborhood following as their brethren about three blocks to the west. Albeit completely different styles, they've obviously got their hands on the secret sauce for captivating a community.

Magnolia is a great neighborhood pub serving up comfort food and good beer. Some of those hoppy creations are brewed on-site, while others derive from a variety of different Bay Area microbreweries. On the food tip, the do most of the bar bites you'd come to expect, and they do a pretty great brunch. Nothing is bottomless, but they do have chicken and waffles! The best part about their chicken is that it's boneless. You can almost pick up your waffles to create a fried chicken sandwich without having to compete with those pesky bones.

They have a pretty cool patio area outside also, so on a nice day like the ones we've experienced recently during our late summer, it's a beautiful way to spend a lazy Sunday.

I was strolling down Market the other day, en route to my office late at night after spending some QT with co-workers at the Old Ship Saloon in the Embarcadero/FiDi area of the city. I noticed all sorts of commotion coming out of this random bar around Second Street, so I had to check it out. Turns out, it was Sutter Station... and I've heard many a drunken tales from friends after visits to this joint... so I felt compelled to slug a $3 Budweiser and use the bathroom before hopping on the MUNI.

In just 10 minutes, I saw a rotund woman modeling lingerie (I guess it's a regular occurrence here?). A questionably homeless guy jamming his filthy paws into a popcorn machine, then getting kicked out of the bar. And a bouncer cleaning up a huge pile of vomit by the pool table in the back as if he were picking up dog poop (inside-out trash bag style). You'd think there'd be a better method, no?

So much action in so little time... I wonder what normally transpires in the period of a typical half-hour here?

Anyone who knows me knows I'm a huge sucker for puns. With that being said, of course Love N Haight had me hooked before I even sunk my teefs into one of thier huuuuuuuge deli sandwiches.

Located right down the street from my Chargers bar (Danny Coyles) I'm always on the search for some quick eats during halftime, as DCs doesn't serve food. I've hit most of the spots in the area, and this place continues to be one of my faves.

Their sandwiches are seriously gigantic. Their French rolls are about the size of an infant, and the prices are totally reasonable. I don't think they're reinventing the wheel by any means, but you definitely get a lot of bang for your buck, and with the quickness as well. You can be in-and-out of that biatch in about three minutes.

It's pretty dope that they're open until 2:00am, and it's even more notable that their food doesn't slip in quality during those late night hours either. You can expect the same tasting nosh day or night.

If nothing else, come to Artesa Winery for the view. Nothing beats staring out at the gorgeous rolling hills of Napa Valley as the sun sets to the west, causing a pink hue to descend upon the outer edges of the horizon. On a good weather day right around 4:45 or 5:00pm, this experience can be yours as well. If you're anything like me, for a split second, you'll feel as though you're on center stage - at the center of the universe - as Mother Nature highlights one of the more stunning views that Northern California has to offer.

For me, this is the true appeal of the winery. The wine itself is very good, but the tastings happen indoors, which closes off the prospect of just zoning out and peering into the beautiful vistas that lie ahead. You can purchase a bottle of wine and sit on the patio, but it's a bit on the pricey side. Most of the bottles of wine I saw were at least $40. I'm no bum looking for 2-Buck-Chuck at a fine Napa winery like Artesa, but one bottle would seriously hinder any prospect of bouncing around to different wineries before or after.

But if your trip to Artesa is more of a destination, you can't beat it. Bring a camera!

Though I've eaten meat on-and-off throughout my 27 years on the planet, a large portion of my adult life was dedicated to only eating plants and a few fleshy creatures like seafood and the occasional turkey breast. Now that I've moved to San Francisco, I've all but abandoned my previous ways of eating in favor of opening my culinary horizons in a city that thrives on fantastic food from any-and-all sources imaginable.

Though I'm not eating beef quite yet, and foie gras will always be off limits... I've been hooked on fried chicken and waffles. That savory VS sweet combo that always received such critical acclaim at Roscoe's in Los Angeles while I was growing up in So Cal just stalked me like a thief in the night. Though I've still yet to try Roscoe's, there are some great spots in the city for the seemingly unusual tag-team combo, and you bet your ass that I'm eventually going to try 'em all.

Farmerbrown's Little Skillet is about a 10 minute walk from my office here in SOMA, so it's the perfect distance when craving something as bad for you as fried chicken. If this place were just down the block, I'd probably balloon to 300lbs in no time. At least the 20 minute round trip burns off a few calories before ingesting hot, greasy fry oil. Well, that's what I tell myself, at least....

Of the three or so places I've tried in the city, these guys have the best fried chicken I've tasted. In fact, it just might be the best fried chicken I've ever had (keeping in mind I'm not so well versed in this meat eating thing). The chicken they use is of the organic, free-range Petaluma variety http://www.petalumapou..., so the guilt level is at a minimum and you can be sure you're eating the highest quality fried white meat available anywhere in California. Let's see KFC try to pull that off, eh?

In addition to chicken and waffles, they have a whole host of other comfort food goodies to choose from as well. Salads, po'boy sandwiches, grits, pastries, and more. Best of all, it's fast and totally affordable.

Don't be thrown off by the back alley thing on Ritch. It's not nearly as seedy as others would make it out to be. Plus, it's only open until 3:00pm daily, so what kind of criminal activity can possibly go down before Oprah hits the airwaves on CBS??

Oh - cash only! No credit cards, amigos.