Kurt "Master of the tl;dr review" S.'s Profile
DateLos Angeles, CA 90034
(310) 559-2424
Overland Veterinary Clinic
Category:
Veterinarians
Neighborhood: Palms
Los Angeles, CA 90071
(213) 617-2605
FixCarNow
Category:
Auto Repair
Neighborhood: Downtown
The first time I went in I needed the oil topped off since I drive a sports car, and the new guy at FIXCARNOW was happy to top it off with some synthetic oil for a small charge despite the fact that it didn't require a full oil change.
THE UPSELL
Later that day, I got a call from him stating that "my filters needed to be replaced." This sounded an alarm in my head because I'd replaced the filters about half a year ago through my normal mechanic but FIXCARNOW had never steered me incorrectly before (at least when the prior mechanic was there) so I asked him why and if he was certain. He told me he was and that it 'really needed to be done'.
THE $300 BILL
I was super busy and cavalierly said 'fine - do the work' and he hung up quickly. Little did I know, I'd be saddled with a surprising $200+ bill at the end of the day - and no parts. Okay, I'm suspicious but y'know, my bad for not asking for the parts ahead of time. Or even trusting a new mechanic to do additional work.
So several months later, I drove into the garage and found that even though the car was running fine, I urgently needed to have oil topped off again since the light had been on for a bit and I didn't have the time to call my mechanic that day. I decided to drop off my car again, after all, what harm could it do to try FIXCARNOW again? Right? So ignoring my spidey senses from the first time, I checked it in.
THE FIRST UPSELL
Later that day, I got a call from the FIXCARNOW mechanic stating that the "oil valve cover" needed to be replaced and that I was leaking oil. Okay, I'm pretty certain that's something I'd notice in either my home or work garage. He said it was "pretty urgent" and that "oil was leaking all over" so, like a chump, I bit. I was ultra-busy with work and even if it's a $100, fine. Turns out it's $400+ in parts and labor. WTF, right? But he caught me in the middle of a meeting and in my haste, I actually said, yes. Go. Do it. Yes, my level of stupidity is rising by the moment.
THE SECOND UPSELL
Then AGAIN, later that day, I got another call from him stating that I'm coming up on my 100k checkup and that he can do the work for me at a 'discount' since he's already doing a bunch of other stuff. This time, I'm a little pissed and I asked him "So how much is THAT going to cost me?" He responds that it'll be discounted since he's already cracked open the car and it'll only be another $500 or so.
I firmly said, "NO. I don't want it."
He went silent. Then he continued his pitch that it was a really good deal and that I should consider it because it's about $200 off and blahblahblah. I said again, "NO. I don't want it". And then I told him, that by the way, while I had him on the phone, I wanted all the parts that he removed in a bag on the floor when he got done because I was going to have my mechanic check out his work. He froze and stammered that it was all on the 'up and up' and mumbled something about it's not a lot of work or something like that, and I told him that that's fine. Just make sure I get the parts for review and that I didn't want any more work done. Then I hung up.
That evening I got the car back with the paperwork description, "Remove & replace deteriorated vale cover gasket with new valve cover gasket" and a $400+ bill.
SUDDENLY THINGS AREN'T RUNNING SO WELL
As I drove within the garage, there was clearly something wrong with the idle level on the engine. Then 5 seconds later, the ride was suddenly really rough and there seemed to be points where I wasn't getting much acceleration at all. Lo-and-behold, 60 seconds later coming out of the garage, the 'Check Engine' light lit up like a Christmas tree. And the guy from FIXCARNOW was nowhere to be found.
So the next day, I took the car into my mechanic as an "emergency". He works on it and at the end of the day, the work description I got was exactly as follows: "Reading codes from Autologic computer. Found codes for misfires on all cylinders and problems with fuel trim banks 1 and 2. Fault traced to improper 02 connection near valve cover and air leak from improperly installed oil vapor line from valve cover. Repaired both items. $55." There's even more to this part but I'm redacting it since the above should be all that's necessary to tell my story & the rest is my mechanic's opinion of what happened.
Yes, the car purrs like a kitten now. No, I'm not ever going back to FIXCARNOW.
1-star.
EPILOGUE:
What the FIXCARNOW mechanic doesn't know is that my wife also works in the building and also went to him to change the oil on her car so we got to "compare notes". I'm sure you won't find it much of a surprise that she of course got upsold on a $200 "oil filter replacement". I had her decline being we knew they'd been changed recently elsewhere.
Chatsworth, CA 91311
(800) 691-5014
TrafficSchool.com
Categories:
Automotive,
Driving Schools
Neighborhood: Chatsworth
Yeah, that's right. I was late to a meeting with a customer. Graciously, smokey was very prompt in writing up what ended up being a $500+ ticket near Chatsworth, CA. He was even more gracious in that he could have gotten me for more than that but that's all I'll say in a public forum. I had to petition the court for traffic school which I did when I sent in my fine via snail mail.
When traffic school was granted, I decided to look into "online school" for the first time in my life because I'm way to busy to be put into a traffic school jail for 8 hours with no phone, no Internet, no books, no friends, no nothing. My wife would be saddled with the kid while I'm burning daylight at some rented facility sitting in school desks my butt would reject after just 30 minutes. Meanwhile, I'm getting more & more nausiated as I realize that I could memorize the entire traffic school manual in less than an 1 hour.
DON'T GO TO 8-HOUR TRAFFIC SCHOOLS
Let me say that after taking this course, there is ZERO, NIL, ZILCH, NADA REASON for any "modern day" person with little spare time on their hands to be stuck in one of those godawful in-person 8-hour Comedy/Pizza/Whatever Traffic Schools. By modern day, I mean someone that knows:
1) how to use a webcam
2) how to register & log into (and re-log into) web sites
3) what site redirection is, how it impacts their experience, etc.
WAIT... A WEBCAM?
The first bullet "how to use a webcam" is actually important because it's the easiest way to authenticate yourself for the vaunted final exam (costs $5 extra) which is administered by a separate authority from http://TrafficSchool.com. This process involves having YOUR ACTUAL FACIAL PHOTO taken on your PC via the web site & having another photo taken of your DRIVER'S LICENSE while you hold it up to your webcam. (I'm not kidding - this is the authentication process) There are 2 alternative methods but they involve doing actual Experian credit checks against you & cost more money.
REGARDING THE WEB SITE
For those with some web development sophistication, this is an extremely basic HTML web site with a few flash animations as demonstrations & 7 radio-button based quizzes that have to be passed before it will allow you to proceed to the "Final Exam".
The "Final Exam" is 40 questions long & actually another web domain entirely, hosted by a 3rd party & backended with Apache/Linux web servers. This BTW was the only thing that sucked about my experience because the 3rd party Final Exam servers were down when I attempted to take it so I called up the facility and had to wait until the service was brought back up the next day.
When you do the webcam/photo-based authentication, they leverage Adobe Flash so you'll need to have a current Flash plug in installed on your browser & permit Flash to control your web cam. Note: I used Internet Explorer 9.0 during my exam & everything worked fine.
SUPER CONVENIENT & QUICK TO COMPLETE
Anyhow, once I got the hang of things, I realized that this entire process could be completed very quickly if you're really ripping through it and have a good memory.
Once you've passed the Final Exam, the service can in the majority of cases electronically notify your traffic court that you have passed traffic school, and that your record should be cleared. Translation: You don't have to send in any paper work at all. Everything is done for you and you just print out your "certificate" on your own home computer along with your completion date/certificate number as proof that you completed the course.
They even give you the opportunity to 'purchase' some additional services:
1) Get notified over email by http://Trafficschool.com once your traffic court has verified the receipt of your Traffic School certification ($5)
2) Get a copy of your "clean" DMV record 2 weeks after your traffic school certificate has been submitted to the court to verify that you're in the clear. ($9)
Are these services upsells? YES. Do I care? NO. Both of these features are kinda cool and what's $5 or $9 amonst friends when you're only paying $21 to begin with for the school fee. (At least that's what I paid. See protip below)
CONCLUSION
I'll never take another godforsaken in-person traffic school course in my life - and I can't believe it's taken me this long to actually try a service like this out in the first place considering computers is my field of expertise. I'd recommend this service without reservation to all of my computer-using friends instead of going to Traffic School jail.
5-stars. #winning
---------------
PROTIP:
You can get $5 off if you use the code CAR-123-ABC. Total cost for me was $21 for the course & $5 for webcam authentication. I also paid $9 for the DMV record verification service which was simply a point of convenience because while this is free if you go to the DMV, I don't have the time to wait in line.)
To clarify for any psycho-Chinese-cuisine-purists out there: If you're looking for the quintessential "OMG-this-is-the-best-Chinese-food-evah" & ESPECIALLY if you're one of those uptight "there's-no-reason-to-eat-any-Chinese-food-outside -of-Monterey-Park" Angelenos... please go away. You're annoying. This ain't the frickin' "Dotchi-Cooking-Show" and for what my family & I need, The Palace is totally full of win & I'm willing to bet that for a lot of you like me:
- with kids
- work late often
- prefer a choice of finger food dishes
...this is gonna be a great restaurant for you. Allow me to explain.
PRICE: GET OVER IT, PEOPLE
Look, we need to get this whole matter of 'price' out of the way: I've read a dozen or so short-sighted reviews on Chowhound & Yelp that rip The Palace over a couple bucks here & there. Yeah, the food was slightly more expensive than one might expect - probably 10%-15% across all dishes - and yeah, this might otherwise bother me... if I was fresh out of college, worked as a cashier for ROSS Dress for Less, & I actually gave a damn about a couple extra bucks. In reality, I get every order from The Palace delivered to my house. I don't think twice at a $10 surcharge for LA Bite delivery so why the @#$% would I care about an additional $6-$8 on a $40 order?
WHAT'S UNIQUE ABOUT THE "PALACE"
Yes, there are some things that have changed as of earlier this year to what was once VIP Seafood - for one thing, the ownership. Rachel Lee took over the place from Sumitra Weeranarawat, hence some of the policy changes, including a number of frankly, cool things The Palace now offers:
1) DIM SUM FOR DINNER
Christ almighty - if you told me back when I was single, that after coming home from a late night at work, for dinner I could have small tapas-like orders of pork shui mai, shrimp & scallop dumplings, BBQ duck, shrimp har gaw, pork buns, potstickers, shrimp with sticky rice, sesame balls for $2.95 a dish, I'd say get the @#$% outta here, dude: That sort of pipedream heaven doesn't exist so go sell crazy somewhere else. Well, lo-and-behold, it does it exist & it's called The Palace Dim Sum menu... available after 5PM. Not everything is served in the evenings mind you but the ability to be non-committal about what you eat is gastronomically fantastic: Buy up a storm & eat whatever you want & if it sucks, get over it, jackass. Seriously, it's just $2.95.
2) NO MONOSODIUM GLUTIMATE (MSG)
A moment of seriousness here: My wife reacts badly to MSG. In sufficient enough quantities within 30 minutes she turns red, gets rashes & ultimately has to "vom", & as we all know, with Chinese food it's hard to tell who really uses it & who doesn't. Our family will know for sure in about 30 minutes if they even use a little across all their dishes & at least on their Dim Sum, we can emphatically say that the Palace does NOT use (or uses very little) Monosodium Glutimate, which is weird as all hell, but it also explains why so many anal retentive Asians have been freaking out about the Palace dishes "lacking flavor" in their reviews: It's because it's lacking the prerequisite overdousing of MSG.
3) LATE NIGHT, QUICK DELIVERY
11AM-10PM every day. 10AM opening on Sat/Sun. DUDE. If you get home tired at 7PM, want a few dishes for everyone in the family to eat & share, & NEED IT DELIVERED IN 30 MINUTES BY CALLING THE ORDER IN ON THE DRIVE HOME? The Palace is the only game in town, folks. I am fortunate to live relatively close to The Palace so meals never take more than 5 minutes to deliver once it hits the Styrofoam so it virtually always arrives fresh & hot. And there's not even a dreaded "LA Bite" delivery tax tacked on!
YEAH, BUT WHAT ABOUT THE FOOD?
The food is at least serviceable & at most, very satisfying. For example, the Fried Taro Dumpling is light & crunchy on the outside while savory & steamy on the inside. The Shrimp with Sticky Rice, while not as flavorful, has a satisfying must-chew-more texture to it. The BBQ Pork Bun are exactly as they should be - soft & hot on the outside with tasty meatiness on the inside. The Har Gow was tasty with a thin delicate wrapper & the selection of dessert Dim Sum - Sesame Ball, Coconut Pudding, Red Bean Cake - all of them are perfect compliments.
There are 57 Dim Sum dishes available in all. Keeping in mind that not all of them are available for dinner, if you can't find something you like... you're an idiot.
So in summary:
BAD: Not terribly cheap food & not the OMG-ultimate-Chinese-food-evah.
GOOD: Incredibly varied dinner Dim Sum delivery & ultimately quite satisfying food.
This place is for the gainfully employed that are more concerned about convenience & selection over getting Empress Pavillion-quality from a delivery & don't care that it costs a buck or two more.
4-stars.
Los Angeles, CA 90025
(310) 481-9920
Frostville Frozen Yogurt
Category:
Ice Cream & Frozen Yogurt
Neighborhood: West Los Angeles
I've been back a few more times since the first couple times I visited (subsequently adding to my Belushi-esque figure) and tried a few additional flavors after having had some consummately crappy days at work. Frost rotates flavors 3 times a week apparently making the stop a worthwhile trip "just to see what else they're cranking out" of their magical Willy Wonka yogurt production machine.
OKAY ALREADY - SO WHAT CHANGED?
Well, a couple things stood out recently to me that warranted the vaunted "half-star" bump:
1) IMPROVED SERVICE
Put simply, the kid behind the counter was much more attentive & quicker on-the-draw these last few times than my previous visits. I don't know if that's due to them getting into a rhythm or my disgruntled Kaiser Soze-like appearance the other day but to their credit, it's improved. So good job, dudes. I still think self-service/pay-by-the-ounce is a better model but if the owners don't feel confident in their ability to 'control loss' or their COGs are higher from having potentially better ingredients, then so be it - it's their business after all.
2) BETTER YOGURT
I had a few other flavors there that were notable enough to consider writing an update.
- BELGIAN CHOCOLATE
The Belgian Chocolate was fundamentally a delight to savor. Rich, earthy, & sumptuous, this was a dessert that seriously brought the sexy with it and I wish I had bought a carton of it. One of the better chocolates I've had - at least in the area - for certain. "Belgian" may be a little too ambiguous to describe a specific chocolate per se but who the hell cares. The $#%@ is good and Frost scored with this flavor. 10 points for Gryffindor.
- BOSTON CREME PIE
This by contrast was a rather unremarkable flavor and reminded me of the "Huh?" mentality one has when they eat a Jelly Belly whose taste doesn't really bear much of a similarity to its name on the box. Nothing wrong with the taste mind you, but it was more akin to a Milk Chocolate than any Boston Creme Pie I've eaten.
- CHOCOLATE MINT BROWNIE
Not bad, the Chocolate Mint Brownie tastes about like what you'd expect. Probably sourced from brownie mix like the Red Velvet, the Chocolate Mint Brownie is not overly sweet and a bit refreshing from the mint however I'm not sure this is a flavor I'd be able to have regularly, but maybe once a month. Chocolate Mint lovers will definitely rally around it however.
ANY OTHER COMMENTS?
It should be noted that the yogurt continues to be well-churned resulting in a very smooth consistency, which in the majority of the yogurts came off almost as uniquely velvety. One other thing that pushed me over the edge was that the yogurt kept VERY WELL in the freezer overnight much to my surprise, remaining edible without requiring a construction jackhammer to dislodge a spoonful from its Styrofoam container.
CONCLUSION
4-stars. Give the place a try - it gets my seal-of-approval for what it's worth. For its flavors & the quality of the general yogurt, it's better than the other 5 or 6 other surrounding yogurt locations in & around Westwood and represents a small business that neighborhood residents ought to rally around.
1 Previous Review:
-
6/19/2010
Tucked away in the darker corner in a strip mall near the corner of Westwood & Santa Monica, is a fledgling yogurt shop called "Frost".
YEAH, BUT IS THE YOGURT ANY GOOD?
Cool your jets - I'll get to that. I think it's a more interesting story that the store is even open being that there hasn't been any activity in this part of the strip mall since the location was a Wherehouse more than 7 years ago. Until Frost was opened, the store front had been in such disarray, it looked like a shanty from frickin' District 9, so this business had me intrigued - especially considering that area isn't very well designed to attract walkthrough traffic.
Upon entering the premises, the air smells of "newly laid linoleum". Nothing on the white-painted walls. Yeah, this place is brand spanking new. On the plus side, it's clean. On the minus side, it could be mistaken for a hospital ward. The owner however appeared to be on site chatting up some of the people visiting.
WHAT WAS IT LIKE?
Simply put, there are 10-12 flavors on tap, prices ranging from $3.35 for small, $3.85 medium, $4.35 large, etc. making them a bit more expensive than "Yogurtland" on Sawtelle but a lot less expensive than "Penguin's" on Westwood or "Pinkberry" anywhere. They had a reasonable array of toppings; nothing particularly unique or special beyond your typical oreo cookies, gummy bears, etc. The place was new so you knew the toppings weren't stale like at most places. No need for Imodium here.
The environment (& pricing) is similar to a barebones "Big Chill Frozen Yogurt" on Olympic in that there's basically service workers behind a counter of toppings serving people one at a time. The ambiance is stark & lacking in any personality but if they manage to start pilfering customers from the other area yogurt shops which are either too expensive, too crowded, or of low quality, they might be able to get some momentum. They've added tables & chairs outside but the areas a bit dark/shady so I don't know if the outdoor seating will take off.
NO SELF SERVICE
The interesting thing to me of course was that it is NOT self-serve, which is the growing trend amongst these joints such as Yogurtland. (The theory is that the lost product sales from oversampling or theft is more than balanced out by minimizing headcount & maximizing volume.) As a result, all service has to be done through a counter worker who are a little slow on the draw - albeit green. I gotta say however, green or not, that I could have been in & out in half the time it took had I served myself - not to mention, sampled the flavors w/out having to ask anyone. There is however heavy sampling going on through the counter workers & no one is discouraged from doing so.
STANDOUT FLAVORS:
They rotate flavors 3x a week. This is what I saw last week.
1) RED VELVET - Yes, it tastes like Red Velvet cake alright - probably sourced from Red Velvet cake batter - which immediately makes it more of an attraction for women. Ironically however, my wife wasn't thrilled about the flavor and we ended up trading yogurts half way through consuming ours.
2) CHOCOLATE HAZELNUT - Also better known as "Nutella", this concoction was rich & creamy with surprisingly little crystallization. If this keeps in the freezer for at least one night, it could be something that I'd go back for. Not bad. Not bad at all.
3) PLAIN TART - Again, also better known as the "Pinkberry" flavor, this is pretty much stock frozen tart yogurt straight from the Pinkberry/Red Mango playbook. Nothing fancy.
4) OREO CHEESECAKE - So like the Nutella, this was an original that I hadn't seen before. Oreo cheesecake tasted pretty much on par - possibly a little overly sweet. But original for those that appreciate originality.
5) CARBOLITE - More of a "brand" of yogurts with low carb counts, this is also known as the "OMG-I'm-on-the-Atki ns-diet-and-think-th at-this-crap-will-ke ep-me-in-ketosis" flavors. Personally, I call it the "Better-watch-yer-ba ck-Big Chill" flavors because those goons on the corner of Westwood & Olympic have had a monopoly on this low-carb yogurt thing for a while.
AND THE VERDICT?
Overall, the yogurt is pretty good - albeit nothing to rave about - but it does have a few selections worth noting that might bring in some interested customers such as the Carbolite selections and the Nutella/Red Velvet. Being new, the place has no lines, which gives it a edge over The Big Chill & Yogurtland. And it's priced competitively with other yogurt places in the area like Penguin's/Pinkberry. Time will tell if it gets marketed correctly to the right folks in the area. I hold out hope for it.
3 1/2-stars but I'll round up to 4 cuz I'm feeling generous today & I kinda like the place despite the fake orangehead review below
Los Angeles, CA 90025
(310) 470-1199
Foot Heaven
Categories:
Massage,
Day Spas
Neighborhood: West Los Angeles
Foot Heaven is a secret paradise for salespeople, retail workers, day laborers... basically anybody that puts in a hard day's work while on their feet. I stumbled upon this joint by sheer accident and it's so wonderfully rejuvenating that I actually feel like a douchebag for only paying them a single Jackson for a FULL HOUR of massage work.
Be aware - Foot Heaven has apparently never heard of Martha Stewart. It ain't gonna win any awards for décor nor are you going to form a lifelong bond with the masseurs who know just enough English to tell you to sit... or point you to the can, but HOLY CRAP, if this place isn't open all-day until 9PM, there's no waiting, and it's so inexpensive, you can go multiple times a week and not have to sell a kidney.
Here's a quick summary:
There's no waiting - no reservations. Walk in whenever you damn well feel like it, into a community room of about 12 rather comfy reclining chairs & ottomans. Once seated, this is what follows after you take off your shoes & socks:
1) 15 minute hot tea bag - Chinese herbal medicine - foot soak in a large wooden bucket (plan on rolling up your pant legs)
15 minute head & neck massage (done during hot tea foot soak)
2) 10 minute hand & arm massage, focusing on reflexology pressure points. This may seriously put you to sleep.
3) 20 minute leg, ankle, and foot massage (feet & legs are removed from soak &wiped down with towels)
4) 15 minute back & shoulder massage (requires you to flip over)
... and after 60 minutes, the total charge is a whopping $20 (not including tip).
NOTE: If you haven't had a Chinese pressure point massage before, be prepared for something akin to very strong deep tissue massage. These dudes have the "G.I. Joe Kung Fu Grip"(TM) giving them some of the strongest digits in Westwood and this includes those psycho Thai massage chicks along the boulevard that'll turn you into a pretzel if you let them. The foot massage itself isn't necessarily going to be orgasmic but you'll feel phenomenally light as a feather later.
Readers: RUN - don't walk - to Foot Heaven. Especially if you like a good, strong, 'Joe Pesci' massage - not a fluffy, fruity, 'Brendan Fraser' massage. It's so cheap, they have a frickin' "frequent visitor" card. (I mean, seriously - what massage joint operates on so much volume, it has a "buy 10, get 1 free" card?) If your feet are sore from wearing crappy heels all day or your legs are stiff & tight from a hard day's work, I swear you'll feel like you're floating on Cloud-f'ing-9 after being here for an hour. It's the best friggin' $20 you'll spend all week.
To hell with decor: This place gets 5-stars on price & quality alone.
Las Vegas, NV 89119
(702) 632-9500
MIX
Categories:
French,
American (New),
Lounges
Call me retarded but I never even knew that they had a restaurant in this joint. I've been up to the lounge many times but was unaware that if you wound your way to the back, there was a large dining room. Well whaddyaknow... the things you learn when you're not being a pissed drunk cocknozzle and stumbling into the 61st floor elevator "to check out the view" for the 12th time.
THE AMBIANCE
Anyway, despite not knowing that there are actually two entrances to this place (one from THE Hotel side for the restaurant and one from MBay for the lounge) I did manage to hunt down the maitre d' and get myself seated in a room that might otherwise be described as sterile & cold but with a 70's- porn-esque all-white décor and a monstrous chandelier made up off hand blown glass bubbles. Sort of reminded me of a demure N9NE Steakhouse without all the overdone lighting... or the constant & entertaining parade of boobs walking in on high heels from Moon or Rain. Yep, this doesn't look good.
THE SEATING
I sat next to several Gucci & DKNY decorated couples reminding me of my single days - ah, good times. But overhearing their conversations, it seemed unanimous however that this restaurant was not really a destination amongst those that were there. In fact, everyone seemed to be there 'just because it was open and available' and they decided to give it go. Again, not exactly a ringing endorsement if all 4 couples are entirely new customers with none returning. The view was pleasant enough of course, being that the Mandalay Bay's view of the strip is unmatched and of course the cocktails were top shelf with the property being half watering hole.
THE MENU
Yum. Menu's lookin' good. Lobster Caesar. Hot Chicken/Coconut Thai Soup. Bigeye Tuna Tartare. Seared Duck Foie Gras. Eggplant/Zucchini/Tomato/Mozzarella Gazpacho. Shrimp Cocktail. Spicy Crab Salad w/ Guacamole & Heart of Palm & Cilantro. Hmm! That last one sounds good. Excuse me waiter... hit me up with one of those.
The waiter proceeds to let me know they also have, along with the regular menu, a "Rossini" Filet that's available off-the-menu: An 8 oz Filet Mignon topped with Seared Foie Gras and slices of truffles, served in a wine & beef reduction sauce. GAH! Must... have... Rossini! I did eyeball a few other dishes on the menu such as the Roasted Maine Lobster "Au Curry" w/ Coconut Basmati Rice, Striped Bass w/ Roasted Fennel, Seared Scallops with Sweet Corn Fricassee & Bacon, and Prawn Crusted Halibut... but I remained firm and stuck to my guns like a mole to Cindy Crawford's face.
THE VERDICT?
I was embarrassed that I'd been secretly bagging on the restaurant in the back of my mind. Serves me right for pre-judging. The salad was scrumptious, reminding me of a Peeky toe crab appetizer that I once had at "Joe's Seafood, Steak, & Stone Crab" at Caesar's Forums. The bed of lump crab meat was spiced with a tomato dressing & a bit of pepper & cilantro balanced with a topping of mouthwatering coolness: A large 'hat' of guacamole & palm heart strips. I challenged myself not to gobble it down like Fred Flintstone. I failed epically and horked it down.
The meal was accompanied by a variety of breads & two different types of room temperature butter - a peanut-based butter and a traditional. One thing that was a refreshing surprise was a complimentary drink: The chef's spin on a Pina Colada served in a martini glass featuring a heavy coconut froth atop pineapple rum. Strong but without the alcohol taste, this is a deal-closer for any single guy. Ladies beware.
But the steak... ooh, that steak. That was damn good steak. Used to a bit more char & grilling and a lot less 'sauce', this MIX preparation of a Rossini steak had a monstrous amount of foie gras to allow the diner a bit in every bite, along with just enough truffles to savor along the way. I easily sliced the filet into thin strips and in an instant, this became one of my favorite entrees of the week. I was so impressed that I ended up using it as a benchmark for other steaks I had during my trip including those at Del Frisco's, Fleur D' Lys, Rosemary's, & ENVY Steakhouse.
The dinner was closed with a complimentary pair of fresh-baked Madeleines with a warm nutella dip. Pleasant.
CONCLUSION
If you go to the restaurant, and you're a food snob, try not to turn your nose up too quickly. If anything the salad and steak I had was utterly satisfying and I'd hate for MIX to have to deal with more rat bastards like myself.
4-Stars.
West Los Angeles, CA 90025
(310) 820-3596
Sushi Sasabune
Categories:
Sushi Bars,
Japanese
WESTSIDE'S MOST FAMOUS SUSHI
Blah blah blah... Chef Nobi Kusuhara from Sushi Nozawa... blah blah blah... formerly on Sawtelle in 1996... blah blah blah... ex-Todai on Wilshire... blah blah blah... Hawaii & NY... blah blah blah... celebri-sushi & TMZ. (Read the other reviews for a rehash of all that.
A FEW THINGS YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE KNOWN:
1) STOCK TIPS: During the Internet boom of the 90's, the bar at Sushi Sasabune was known to insiders as a phenomenal place for investment & stock tips. Frankly, there was more insider information floating amongst bar patrons than at the Beverly Hills Country Club. Nobi was the kingpin of financial information & to this day, you'll still occasionally overhear an interesting conversation or two whispered at the bar so keep your ears open.
2) OPEN SATURDAY: Within the past month or so, Nobi's opened the restaurant up on Saturdays for dinner, something he hasn't done since the late 90's on Sawtelle during more profitable times. Apparently word of this change hasn't quite gotten out because the restaurant has consistently been only half full each Saturday, so if you're interested in a good meal of sushi on the weekend, this is a great opportunity.
3) QUALITY COUNTS: They serve fresh grated wasabi & Maeda-en green tea instead of stock Yamamotoyama. Also Nobi keeps Hakutsuru Junmaishu on tap for folks that request the heated sake tokkuri/ceramic flask, which is more costly but refined & less caustic than the Gekkeikan/Sho Chiku Bai/Ozeki served elsewhere.
OMAKASE: TALE OF THE TAPE
A typical omakase meal at the bar, may include any mix of a variety of typical fish so I'm only going to discuss the fish that I think distinguish the restaurant since I have a limited amount of space on Yelp.
- BABY TUNA SASHIMI (sweet teri sauce with scallions) - The tuna sashimi is a recent addition that can be heavenly, if layered with the right amount of fat. The dish is, as the chefs say, "something new to distinguish them from folks that have copied their opening appetizer".
- PEN SHELL SASHIMI (w/ sea salt & yuzu/chili pepper/salt) - Something of a cross between typical mirugai/clam & a scallop. Softer in texture & mild in taste like a scallop, the pen shell appetizer is a delightful deviation esp. w/ the yuzu/chili & salt.
- ALBACORE SASHIMI (in ponzu & scallions) - The dish that put Sasabune on the map, when served fresh, it's hard to beat for its soft texture & savory mouth-watering appeal. It's often preprepared hours beforehand however & the ponzu can oversaturate the fish toughening it up from over-refrigeration.
- JAPANESE RED SNAPPER (yuzu/chile pepper) - Usually accented with a bit of yuzu/chile pepper, the Red Snapper is a personal favorite not just because of the accent but because some of the skin is purposely left on the serving of fish to provide a richer oilier bite. The essence of umami.
- SALMON (sesame & kelp) - Alway fresh & brightly colored, what gives it it's unique flavor is the sweet transluscent pickled kelp & sesame seeds that adorn the top of each piece. To some it may overshadow the natural subtlety of the salmon but I recognize this as being properly served right between two less overt dishes to provide variety.
- GOLDEN EYE SNAPPER (ponzu, ginger & scallions) - A house specialty & not something you'll find in many places. It's topped with ponzu & garnished with ginger & scallions, & it's a consistently succulent & flavorful fish. Tastier than it's cousin Red snapper, golden eye snapper tends to be sushi that you roll around in your mouth a little to savor.
- OVEN-BAKED MUSSEL & KUMAMOTO OYSTER - Often served together for contrast, the mussel & oyster dish is an exercise in tart & tangy finishes. Between the lighter ponzu oyster & the heavier cooked mussel, some may find the mussel overpowering w/ it's mayo-based sauce but I find it to be a nice contrast to the more subtler tastes of the sushi.
- SWEET SHRIMP - Surprisingly large, plump, & delicious. They're not "live" but don't be turned off by that. He pre-veins the shrimp & keeps it just as fresh as the rest of his fish & because he does, he has it virtually always available & doesn't 'run out' like other locales. Check however w/ the waiter beforehand to see if they have the shrimp head available for deep frying, otherwise you might find yourself disappointed if you're expecting it.
- SEA URCHIN - A consistently fresh dish from Santa Barbara, the Uni is always slightly sweet, creamy yet firm a served well chilled - just the way it's supposed to be. It's always a toss up for me to figure out if they or Hiko serves better uni.
- CRAB STUFFED SQUID (plum sauce) - Stuffed with the same blue crab as used in the crab roll, the squid tends to be simply a wrapper for the meat inside while drizzled w/ sweet plum sauce & garnished with sesame, but it remains a good dish to nibble on.
A Top-10 meal for LA every night.
5-stars.
Listed in: "OMG" places in LA for Sushi &…, "OMG" places in Los Angeles to…
CASINO
Let's start with how the casino has effectively become the United Federation of Douchebaggery on the strip. Many years ago, Caesar's was the sh-t & it only took $10k to be treated right. Then one day, all the hosts up & left, taking their high rollers to Mandalay Bay & Caesar's Palace was effectively f-cked. Caesar's had always been pretty dependent on its VIPs & this exodus rocked the place to its core. With few whales available to sustain the revenue column on the balance sheets, the joint was forced to re-jigger its image. That's when you started to see all that advertising on Los Angeles billboards for the milquetoast Venus Pool Party & that ridiculous TV show, "Caesars 24/7", positioning the resort as a purported "hip & cool" place to stay & play.
Apparently this appeal to the young & infinitely stupid worked: The tables are packed with guys that have that "I'm a Maxim magazine subscriber" look, playing 6-5 Blackjack on $10/$1000 tables packed ass-cheek to ass-cheek. One Federline-lookalike got so excited over his $10 double down win I thought he was gonna up & cash his chips in for a Red Lobster gift card right then & there. Don't be surprised to see at least one dipsh-t thinking he's the shizz & splitting tens: This always has me in stitches because when the dealer bellows "SPLITTING TENS", all eyes lock onto that table for a brief second as if f-cking TeddyKGB himself just opened a package of Oreos. Then everyone realizes that there's no way this alcoholic asshat with a tribal arm tattoo is doing anything other than being a Grade-A chode.
And then there's the gold diggers crawling all over black chip players like a fart in a spacesuit. Yes, the ghetto 'Paris Hilton' skank parade here is quite possibly at the root of why Caesar's has degenerated from a once proud denizen of upper class well-dressed high rollers to wife-beater-wearing lowlifes that adorn their Ford F150's trailer hitches with "truck balls". The soulless atmosphere of Caesar's casino is a side effect of all the 21-year-old-lip-gloss-laden brats trouncing about half-naked in this biohazard of a casino. You can sense these self-important harpies leeching the joy out of everyone else in the pit as they shout intoxicated epithets at each other & spill Red Bull & Vodka drinks all over on their "You say bitch like it's a bad thing" tank tops. If they breathe on you, look into getting treated for gonorrhea.
Take my advice: Even if you completely disregard the horrendous atmosphere, anyone that plays Blackjack here is a masochist. Putting aside the obnoxious number of 6:5 tables here, the table rules that Caesars has on their 6-deck shoes are possibly the worst on the strip. It's indicative of how they're clearly targeting dumb & dumber. Check http://wizardofodds.co... for ongoing playing conditions but in general, I've never seen a good game at Caesars outside of the high limit tables.
FORUM SHOPS
What's there to say about this Roman bastion of commerce? The walkways are loaded with f-cktards that wear faded clothing labeled "Hollister", "Affliction", & "USC Football". Oh, by the way, in case it wasn't clear, buying anything here is about as enjoyable as a prostate exam from Rosie O'Donnell but what were you expecting? Going to a 4-star hotel's shopping mall & being surprised at the craptacular markup at "Brookstone" is like buying hot wings at a nudie bar: Wrong place, wrong agenda, dumbass.
But let's face it: No one you know is really buying anything dangerous here. While you drink yourself silly at Fat Tuesdays & hurl insults at Pete Rose who's usually signing autographs at the sports memorabilia joint, your girl's gonna get moist over the leather in Salvatore Ferragamo's, ogle the red soles of Christian Louboutin which she once saw on "Housewives", then get self-conscious & head on over to Banana Republic to buy something cotton that her self-esteem will actually allow her to buy. The big ticket purchase isn't likely going to happen here so you can holster that Amex, Tonto.
And you know what else isn't going to happen here at Caesars? You getting laid. At least not with anyone that doesn't work for Benjamins & hangs out at Cleopatra's Barge. For those of you looking for that kind of pay-for-play action, those ta-tas hanging from the barge aren't just a coincidence: It's an "open for business" sign. Yes, this place is tacky enough that anything with double-X chromosomes & even a few brain cells that can recognize what a classy Vegas experience is isn't going to be bend-me-over-the-mini-bar impressed... which of course only reinforces the explanation as to why there are so many Vegas virgins here.
(I originally reviewed the rooms, dining, & other parts of the resort but don't have space to include it all. The rest is at: http://bit.ly/5TImS)
2-stars.
Las Vegas, NV 89136
(888) 777-7664
Imperial Hawaiian Luau
Categories:
Performing Arts,
Hawaiian
Neighborhood: The Strip
re: "Pay the extra for the VIP package!"
I see... so you're saying that I should have paid MORE money and that would have made all the difference in the world in the show? You're saying it would have made the food taste a little less like cardboard, the drinks stiffer and kept them from being served in dixie cups, brought in a breeze into the ridiculously hot venue, provided comfortable non-fold out plastic chair seats, and transported the performance to a classier hotel that wasn't considered the eyesore of Las Vegas?
OH HELL NO.
Who are you kidding? With no wind & unrelenting heat, the venue is like walking into the Amazon. And outside of the performers, this is nothing like a decent luau. The booze is watered down. The mac salad is atrocious. The meats taste dry and unholy, like they were left out all day. Oh sure - if you want to compare it to those bullsh-t fresh-off-the-ATA plane luaus they package 'complimentary' with your stay at the Hilton Hawaiian along with the free t-shirt at Hilo Hatties, alright... I guess it was "on par". Uh... way to set those standards as low as frickin' possible, by the way.
BOTTOM LINE:
This remains, out of the 80 some odd reviews I've done of Las Vegas, possibly the absolute worst shows/meals in the city. I'd even go to [gulp] the dreaded "Tony & Tina's Wedding" for dinner & a show before I went back to this Sin City nightmare.
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THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH $50 OTHER THAN ATTEND THE IMPERIAL HAWAIIAN LUAU:
1) Bobby Slayton: Cheap tix at the Trop for a journeyman comic that's got a faster wit than most pros on the circuit at Caesar's..
2) Anthony Cools: The best hypnotist act in Vegas. Admittedly, filthy as all hell but if you're not a prude, neither is he. Party on at the Paris.
3) Defending the Caveman: A fantastic 'date' show featuring Kevin Burke. An off broadway hit that's gone on for over a decade.
4) Disney's The Lion King: Mandalay Bay actually has $50 tickets for this show. There's really no bad seats.
5) Excalibur's Tournament of Kings: The food's actually pretty good and for all the cheesy clashes at least the arena is very well air conditioned.
Listed in: "WTF" places in Vegas
1 Previous Review:
-
1/7/2009
When I think about things in Las Vegas that I dislike, 6-5 single deck Blackjack immediately comes to mind. The second thing however is the Imperial Palace Hawaiian Luau.
It killls me in some ways to post this because I was born in Hawaii, I want to support the performers, and I recognize that many of them have great, great talent - otherwise they frankly wouldn't be in Vegas.
But gotdamn, did this show rub me the wrong way and it has nothing to do with the performers. Folks - this is one of the very few events I've up & left halfway through in my life: I NEVER leave anything I've paid for whether it's movies, attractions, shows, etc. I don't even know if the show is still running to be honest. It probably went dark for the winter however was it cancelled permanently or did it just take a seasonal hiatus? It doesn't matter: I'd like to see the whole production ERASED from the face of Vegas. This gig is mediocrity at its pinnacle.
This is my guide on how to survive the Imperial Palace Hawaiian Luau if you're forced to go:
1) IMPERIAL PALACE
What? Say it ain't so. The only show I've personally ever walked out of in Vegas was in the tasteless... rundown... seedy... smelly... Imperial Palace? Gosh, what are the frickin' odds of that happening? Prepare yourself because this hotel will leave it's stink on you.
To get to the venue:
-- Walk across the casino, past the cigarette butts and cocktail napkins. Don't be surprised to find food on the walls.
-- Go through walkways that probably have some fire code violation
-- Go up the elevators one whopping floor - cross your fingers
-- Circle around and follow some laser printed 8 1/2 x 11 scotch taped signs pointing you around the bend toward the pool area
-- Wait in the check in line to get to the fold out table that looks like a Hawaiian bake sale
-- Receive your complimentary lei; remove the lei to avoid heat rash
-- Get seated on more fold out tables & plastic fold out chairs and prepare to flatten your ass on the uncomfortable seats
(I seriously think I must have been the only fool that actually paid for his & his wife's ticket because I kept running into people who got their tickets comped.)
2) HEAT
God forbid this be in the middle of summer. If so, you're a dead man (or woman) and I can't help you because the gig's outside and there will be no frickin' breeze to save you: It's just how the Imperial Palace was designed. It's hot, dead, unrelenting air and it'll make you think you're in a special showroom in hell.
...Now, you should note that some of the tables have water pitchers. If you're fortunate, you'll get something resembling fruit punch. Steal it and conserve it for yourself and your significant other. Growl at anyone that suggests that it might be shared amongst the patrons. This is about survival here: Let them get their own gotdamned fruit punch.
3) FOOD
NONONONONONONONONONO NONO. This is just bad food. All chicken? DRY. All macaroni salads? WARM. All fruits? MUSHY. All desserts? MELTED or PICKED THROUGH. It just doesn't matter. The food is so ghetto budget that you're not going to get your money's worth here so don't even try. Save your appetite for a real meal after you escape.
...I don't even want to waste my time enumerating the dishes I had there because it's all the same.
The Entire Buffet: 1/5
CONCLUSION
It gives me no pleasure to swing the hammer against this luau but it's just not right to charge $50 bucks for something with this poor a venue & this bad quality of food. I didn't feel it would be right to include the performers because I think all of these issues exist regardless of the entertainment: Elvis himself could perform at this gig and I'd walk out.
...The only other show I can recall being in this realm of "FAIL" is Tony & Tina's Wedding but at least it's at the Rio and it's tolerable during the summer since it's indoors.
ONE STAR!
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ALTERNATIVE VENUES FOR EVENING DINING & ENTERTAINMENT
May I suggest another show? Go to the Mirage and hit the $24.95 Buffet which isn't bad; you'll find something you'll like there without breaking the bank.
...Once finished, for your evening entertainment, hang out just past the tropical landscape area. Watch the skank parade begin around 10:30PM and play "Pro or No". For extra fun, turn it into a drinking game.
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"Sake Sensei"
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Los Angeles, CA
Yelping SinceAugust 2007
Things I LoveLas Vegas, Blackjack, The Killers, dogs, AFI, Sake, sushi, UCLA, Porsches, Breaking Benjamin, caviar, books, xbox 360, snowboarding, watermelon, magic, Zune
Find Me InWestwood, Los Angeles
My HometownEither somewhere in Hawaii or Bay Area, CA... you pick.
My Blog Or Website When I'm Not Yelping...I'm watching UCLA sports or working for the Save-a-Life L.A. Animal Rescue
Why You Should Read My ReviewsDon't care if you do or don't.
My Second Favorite Websitehttp://hotchickswithdo.../ or http://www.thebestpage.../
The Last Great Book I Read"Play Their Hearts Out" - George Dohrmann
My First ConcertNew Order
My Favorite Movie"This Film is Not Yet Rated"
My Last Meal On EarthSterling Brunch, Ballys Las Vegas
Don't Tell Anyone Else But...I've never, ever sent anyone a Yelp friend request.
Most Recent Discovery"Sage" a beautiful restaurant at ARIA, Las Vegas
Current CrushMy wife. Lord only knows how she copes with me.
My ol' pal Sheepa the Dog's very first vet visit when he joined our family was to Dr. Louis Schwartz of the Overland Vet Clinic the day after we adopted him. For over 6 years, he got his teeth cleanings, his annual checkups, and his virtually all his ailments addressed by Dr. Schwartz & his staff. (Except for one emergency visit to ASEC Animal Emergency on Sepulveda, who BTW, were truly exceptional as well)
While he began his life with us by visiting Dr. Schwartz, his very last moments with us was also in the fine, fine care of Dr. Schwartz himself and his staff. I have nothing but heartfelt respect & everlasting gratitude for Overland Vet Clinic.
(BTW: I want to emphasize that I'm a two-time Elite Yelper (who dropped out due to work/health issues) and I have a dozen or so ROTDs along with 88 reviews & 89 fans. What I'm saying is, I'm not some 'bungie' Yelper bouncing in to do a review only when it suits me: I take my Yelping very seriously and only when I have something important to say. I want to make this clear this because I see a few Orangeheads submitting negative reviews for OVC and many of them are really, really off base and make me question the legitimacy of many of their claims.)
SHEEPA'S FIRST DAY WITH US
I adopted a dog named Sheepa that was malnourished, flea-infested, underweight, and very untrusting of anyone. If you bring in your adoption papers to Dr. Schwartz from several dog adoption groups, he will provide your first 'check up' at no charge. Sheepa was indeed in bad shape & Dr. Schwartz confirmed this while also confirming that he was 10 years old already & a fairly mature dog. I wasn't going to give up on him so over the next couple month's Dr. Schwartz helped make sure that Sheepa improved gradually and eventually returned to as healthy as he could be. Shots, medicines, diets, tick collars, you name it.
One day, we woke up to say good morning to Sheepa & found him awake and SMILING! He greeted us, bounded about the living room, licking us on the legs, pouncing on his toys, bringing me his 'tug' sock, and letting out a happy "RUFF!" This was his first 'bark' since we'd gotten him. With this, we knew our mission with Dr. Schwartz to bring him to health was complete.
SHEEPA'S COUNTLESS AILMENTS
I'm not going to lie: Sheepa had what most would consider a terrible life before he came to us and it took a toll on him. As a result, throughout his 6 years with us, he had numerous ailments and all of them were diagnosed & addressed by Dr. Schwartz. Sheepa would have an ailment, the doctor diagnosed them quickly, and treated them. Or we'd put a plan in place for more complicated issues. And rarely was I unable to find a convenient time on their calendar. Sheepa got successfully treated for numerous issues throughout his life, including:
- Worms
- Diarrhea
- Bee stings
- Arthritis/Joint pain
- Hypothyroidism
- Acid nausea
- Urinary infection
- Kennel cough
- Loss of bladder control
- Intestinal tract bacteria
- Nutritional deficiencies
- Vertebrae fusion
And besides Sheepa being diagnosed and treated accurately & quickly, I always felt that we were in the presence of ETHICAL & MORAL individuals that actually gave a damn about animals... and THIS was extremely important to me.
SHEEPA'S FINAL NIGHT
Sheepa passed away in August at the age of roughly 16, the result of a major stroke. I don't want to relive my pal's final night (which I write about here: http://kurtsthoughts.c...) but I will say that the personal yet PROFESSIONAL care provided by Dr. Schwartz & Nurse Maggie were far, far above and beyond the call of duty during our ordeal. They treated him like a OVC family member when I couldn't be there for him for a number of reasons and made his final days as comfortable as possible.
I will never forget their kindness.
CONCLUSION
I don't know if OVC is considered affordable by vet standards as the costs for my pal Sheepa's healthcare were never an issue for us. I will say however that if you want a place to provide caring & knowledgeable, primary veterinary care for your dog, and don't want to deal with a lot of unprofessional or ethically-challenged shadiness that some places put you through, Dr. Schwartz & Overland Veterinary Clinic is a wonderful choice. Straight forward, trustworthy, and truly caring - if you want to establish a long term relationship with your vet, this is the place to go.
I would not even slightly hesitate to recommend Dr. Schwartz to people that need primary medical care for their dogs.
5-stars. Thank you Doctor. For everything.