Ryan "The Angry Midget" t.'s Profile

When I'm glancing through Yelp to see the latest and greatest reviews, there are very few instances where I feel that the overall rating that a particular establishment has achieved is greater than what it actually deserves.  In those cases, like Goldbergs II, I feel obligated to inject a small dose of reality.

Goldbergs II has a reputation in certain circles that it's a cool place to hang out and eat dinner or grab a drink.  Consequently, people who want to seem cool will write a favorable review of such a place to give you the impression that they are also cool and fun to be around.  I would say that the rating of Goldbergs II is inflated for this reason.

The food is typical bar fare, so I'm not sure why others want to make it seem like Wolfgang Puck is hiding in the kitchen flipping burgers.  I don't care how stellar your pub food is when the service is as routinely awful as it has been each time I've visited.  I've never eaten any other place where I feel as if the staff resents the fact that I am there.  Occasional spotty service on a busy night is completely understandable, but the consistent indifference that must be some sort of job requirement to work here is one of the biggest reasons for a 2-star rating.  

Spare yourself the agony.  You shouldn't have to pay someone to treat you this poorly.

For some strange reason that I can't quite put my finger on, I have completely different standards for what I eat for lunch vs. dinner. Michael's is a case in point. While I would probably never consider eating here for dinner or when I was craving Mexican food, the close proximity to my place of employment combined with suspiciously fast service and affordable specials make this a perfectly acceptable place to grab lunch.

Two of their lunch specials are pretty excellent: the tacos al pastor and chipotle steak. Say what you want about the authenticity, but someone who works here knows how to do pork al pastor, which is a massively unappreciated and underutilized method of cooking pork.

Despite what you might think from reading some reviewers who use their reviews as a platform to attempt to prove their hipster cred or bash a city they no longer live in, Omaha has some pretty fantastic restaurants. Michael's doesn't fall into that category, but that doesn't make it evil or uncool. For every Flatiron, there are at least 10 Taco Bells, and who can afford to eat at the Flatiron every night?

Have you ever eaten at a place that you really, really wanted to like because you feel like that you should like it? The name is fantastic and implies that this establishment belongs to an intelligent, culinary genius. While the execution was weak on several levels, the overall experience was fine, although I felt like the bill matched what this place hopes to be rather than what I actually experienced. You want specifics, don't you?

Let's start with the good. The shrimp scampi with pasta that I ate for my entree was decent, but lacked the flair that I would have expected from a place with a real, living cellist that plays soft jazz over near the bathrooms. The Olive Garden can put capers and lemon on angel hair and toss it with shrimp.

I realize the people that answer phones at restaurants have a difficult job, but when I call for reservations for 8 pm and you tell me I don't need them, don't expect any sympathy from me when I show up at said time and you tell me there will be an hour wait. The calamari appetizer was a huge disappointment. The breading was like pencil shavings with Mrs. Dash, and did not stick to the squid. Plus, someone decided to make the appetizer seem more substantial by adding green bell peppers rolled in the same breading. This tactic did not fool anyone in our party into believing that they were getting a lot more calamari. We're onto you Ryan.

This was a classic case of lofty expectations meets mediocre, expensive food. I wanted to love this place, and I may try it again in the future. But, I'll be sure to argue with the person who answers the phone if they suggest that I don't need reservations on a Saturday night.

Jacobo's is a fantastic place to get chips and salsa or other supplies for making Mexican meals that you can't get other places.  Given the demand for their high quality products, Jacobo's could seriously jack up their prices and charge people way more than they do.  The fact that they are decent enough not to do this is refreshing.  I've had their tamales, both frozen and fresh from the deli, and they are incredible.  Bring cash with you, however, as they don't take plastic.

I am probably disqualified from writing a review of the Hyatt Regency in Denver based on my annual income, but they didn't kick me out (immediately) for being white trash, so I'll give it a shot.

The hotel is very new and has a number of great amenities. The pool and workout facilities looked really nice, but I don't exercise on vacation because I'm always too hungover and appearances can be deceiving, so take that for what it's worth. The location is exceptional, and I can't imagine wanting to do something that's in downtown Denver that's not a quick walk or drive away. I didn't stay here for a convention, but the Hyatt is so close to the convention center that if your room was on the correct side of the building, you might not have to leave your room to see some of the presentations.

Just like that crazy girl that we all dated in college, there are some negatives here that cannot be ignored. Parking is $24-$28 per day depending on whether or not you want to fetch your own damn car. I realize that they charge this much because they can, but it certainly made me think twice about whether or not to stay here again.

When it comes to sushi, I'll eat just about anything you put in front of me, and I'm not difficult to please. My experiences with Sakura Bana have been mostly favorable, but I've also had some epic failures that I don't often experience when eating sushi other places.  I ordered one of their rolls with tuna that came with some sort of sauce that was not specified on the menu, and that I could not identify.  The only comparison that I can make is it's how I imagine mayonaise would taste if left outside for an afternoon in Arizona during July.

Aside from this experience with this mystery sauce, I have been pleased with my meals here.  The location is convenient and the service is always quite good.

The Old Mattress Factory is a decent place to grab a bite to eat and a drink near the Qwest Center, but the location cuts both ways since if you're down by the Qwest you're probably there for an event. That means that this place is going to be a mad house, packed to the rafters. If there isn't an event at the Qwest, this place is deader than Michael Jackson. Too soon? I've visited under both scenarios, and much prefer the no event at the Qwest situation because the service is good and you don't wait an hour for a table.

The food is hit or miss. I have had the prime rib special, which was somewhere between well-done and carbon, whereas I would have liked it 2 degrees above raw, but the waiter didn't ask. The french onion soup is excellent, but am I going to frequent a place just because I like the the soup.

I stayed at this hotel during a recent trip to Dallas for work.  The rooms are fairly nice and clean with an HDTV in the room and a desk where I could work.  The hotel was undergoing much-needed renovations, but they managed to keep the noise to a minimum.

I had a really terrible experience with the hotel staff, however.  I work for a non-profit (read: tax-exempt) organization.  I brought the appropriate paperwork with all the required information and presented it at check-in.  The staff proceeded to argue with me about it, despite the documentation.  When I checked out, the taxes were on my bill anyway, so I had to return to the front desk to argue with them again.  Customers shouldn't have to do this kind of thing, and as a result, I'll stay somewhere else the next time I'm in Dallas for business or for fun.

If my doctor is right and I really do have brain damage, it's probably at least partially related to the fact that I've spent a few nights pickling my brain at the Underground. The premise is simple: stiff drinks at affordable prices. In the era prior to the smoking ban, summer nights here were basically unbearable due to the combination of humidity from people and smoke.

If No Frills Grocery store had a bar equivalent, it would be the Underground because there's truly nothing remarkable about it, except the stark contrast between the French restaurant upstairs and the french-kissing transsexuals that hang out in the Underground.

I should preface my review by stating that my experience here was at an event for a trade show.  Therefore, keep the following in mind when reading this review:
1) I didn't pay for anything.  There was no charge for admission, open bar, and a decent live band.  
2) The group of people I was with took full advantage of the open bar, and we were having a much better than average time.

Those two things being said, we had a great time. The layout is pretty cool with multiple bars and levels that make it seem a lot less crowded than it is.  After the live band finished, a completely average DJ played everyone's favorite Top 40 dance hits.  I'm not sure I would pay to hang out here, but you never know.