"Austere! Rigid."
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Review votes:
373 Useful, 246 Funny, and 290 Cool
Los Angeles, CA
Yelping SinceJuly 2007
Things I Lovethai food, vegan food, curry, green tea, soy lattes
Find Me InSan Francisco
My HometownSan Francisco
My Blog Or Website When I'm Not Yelping...You can find me in the recycling bin and pinned over cork boards in Echo Park
The Last Great Book I ReadSilence (John Cage)
My First ConcertWeezer
My Favorite MovieGoya's Ghosts
Most Recent DiscoveryPedagogy; teaching mean children in London
Current CrushLikes small dogs, antiquated film, Wallace Stevens and Souplantation?!
Santa Cruz, CA 95060
(831) 421-0706
I Love Sushi
Categories: Sushi Bars, Japanese, Print Media
Any semblance of authenticity is out the door when you come to $5 heaven. The tea is average. Snacks that come with the tea taste prepackaged and bland like the Snak Club "Oriental Mix" at an airport gift shop. The fortune cookies that were invented here over a century ago similarly carry the prepackaged plastic incubator flavor that ends a meal at Pick Up Stix.
The perks of the tea garden include greenery, water, bridges and as many chirpy tourists with cameras as each attraction can bear. Yellow memories are short-lived here when the end of the daze leads you to an exit or when the only seats available to sit on at are the ones that face the path to a bathroom. My memories unfortunately did not take me past my first sip of tea.
People thought this was:
- Funny (1)
- Cool (1)
I am still confused about him not only getting the hint that I am fully capable of looking at eyeglasses myself but responding to my polite decline (no, thank you) for help by tapping his fingers on the table, jingling keys in his pocket, and whistling all in a matter of three minutes.
Not only don't I need help at figuring out which Ralph Lauren models do I like better from the scant selection offered, but I DEFINITELY don't need to oblige myself to become anyones' therapist by enabling them to talk AT me and give them any more attention than they deserve.
When I allowed him to talk at me so he could stop distracting me with his tapping, he couldn't answer an easy and frivolous question I mustered. He proceeded to incorrectly state a specific frame I was looking for was already in the display case and that I wasn't looking properly. No, A V Eyes doesn't carry that model because I already know that from looking at the selection in the display case. I didn't say that as he was obviously having a conversation with the wall then with me. He continued to talk with such an obnoxious, overpowering and agitating conviction that I simply walked out the door. Luckily the Ralph Lauren glasses are located next to the door.
While I probably would have walked out of this small store and its scant selection anyway, the histrionic eyeglasses salesperson helped speed up this process. It was time for an early dinner.
People thought this was:
- Useful (2)
- Funny (1)
- Cool (1)
The Cafe is the southernmost vegetarian restaurant in the continental United States; and it was a plain cafe that could be easily passed by. There are no barkers trying to cajole you and the sign is sufficient enough for you to know that this is The cafe of cafes when you pass by. Plain Jane was filled to capacity on a Saturday night and quite a wait for food. I recall the idiom that good things come for those who wait though luckily there is no need to be rushing anywhere on an early Saturday night in Key West.
After fifteen minutes of sitting at the five-chair bar between two gay couples (older men and teenagers), the eavesdropping and people watching was ended and the eating of food was commenced. For a server who seemed as if she had command of the whole restaurant against the clock, she was somewhat relaxed as if time didn't matter here. I suppose it doesn't.
New York, NY 10014
(212) 645-0310
'SNice
Categories: Vegetarian, Vegan, Coffee & Tea
Neighborhood: West Village
Seriously though. What a 'SNice atmosphere for a warm vegan panini with savory smoked tofu, rich pesto and fresh sun-dried tomatoes with salad and light vinaigrette over a large plate. Their delicious panini had a soft thick texture and the bread was very fresh. The mixed green salad was one of the better I tried; it includes soft leaves mixed with a delicate amount of dressing. The indoors were crowded but the larger tables are located off to the sides for communal use and the smaller tables are spaced apart enough to feel like I wasn't breathing down somebody's sweaty back.
Las Vegas, NV 89109
(702) 270-5952
World of Coca-Cola
Categories: Specialty Food, Shopping
Beware:
1. Bypass the paraphernalia. The stand is on the second floor. Go upstairs.
2. Seating is not guaranteed. Since it's Coca-Cola, breeder families flock to the bottle like flies to sugar. They occupied the front three tables near the stand. The parents looked more bored than their 7 kids, all of whom were playing with toy cars and plastic Disney characters on the tables. None of the toys were from the Coca-Cola store.
3. You are given two red trays stacked one on top of the other. Don't worry. Unless you are super clumsy or somebody pushes you, you will not spill the stacked trays.
4. Sitting on the floor is an option. We sat on the floor with four trays (two trays each) of drinks because there was absolutely nowhere else to sit in the area. Although I didn't mind sitting on the floor, it may be highly problematic if the sitter is old, disabled or a fat breeder. We were one of three groups sitting on the floor.
The flavors:
We were given two pieces of paper that indexed each of the drinks we were trying. We took a pen out and wrote some notes about the flavor of each drink. I recommend taking a pen out and making notes about the flavors of things you're trying. It makes you think about and remember what you're trying. The following list highlights the drinks from the notes I wrote.
Tray one:
1. Inca Cola (Peru) - Sweet, good
2. Sunfill Mint (India) - Tastes like Scope mouthwash
3. Stoney Ginger Beer (South America) - Reminds me of ginger candy
4. Aquarius Citrus (Taiwan) - Not fizzy, like a watery orange juice
5. Delaware Punch (Honduras) - Rich berry flavor, tastes like cough medicine
6. Vegitabeta (Japan) - Powdery flavor, like it was pre-mixed
7. Smart Watermelon (China) - Light taste, subtle flavor, good
8. Kinley Lemon (England) - Way too tangy, too much lemon/lime
Tray two:
1. Lift Apple (Mexico) - Reminds me of apple cider, prefer apple cider though
2. Fanta Kolita (Costa Rica) - Overwhelming and conflicting flavor, way too sweet
3. Krest Gingerale (Mozambique) - Blah! Yuck! Not a big fan of gingerale
4. Bibo Kiwi Mango (South Africa) - Not sparkling, a little too sweet
5. Bibo Pine Nut (South Africa) - Very sweet, not a fan of pineapple
6. Smart Apple (China) - Powerful, too much zing
7. Beverly (Italy) - BITTER! Unsuspectingly so; aftertaste
8. Mezzo Mix (Germany) - Tastes like Pepsi or Coke
People thought this was:
- Useful (1)
- Funny (2)
- Cool (1)
The gorditas that encompass the cactus with warm and freshly made corn tortilla that comes with a motley of choices to put inside it. I prefer their fresh green sauce (served warm) and mouth-watering potatoes. The chef is amazing and prepares everything in a kitchen the size of a bedroom closet. Mind that she speaks little to no English if the vendor who normally runs the shack is on a bathroom break.
Yes, this is a shack and yes you'll have to sit outside next to seedy Pacific and Lincoln Avenues; and listen to street performers playing music like a pleb. If you don't want to be seen, wear a mustache. This place is worth the exposure.
(It's really not that bad.)
People thought this was:
- Cool (1)
I have two theories though. First: the falafels were previously fried in the morning and fried again later that day in one hell of a fluke in decision-making on the cook's end. Second: the falafels were fried once but so severely deep fried to the point of tasting like large balls of fry batter - and left under a heating lamp for a while.
Although fried foods are common in places near roller-coasters, fried foods are usually greasy and have a crunch to them. These were dry and tasted like fossilized dinosaur eggs. The salad mix inside the large nest of bland pita bread could not salvage the return of Jurassic Park.
Santa Cruz, CA 95060
(831) 420-1025
Cafe Delmarette
Categories: Coffee & Tea, Sandwiches, Event Planning & Services
Let's start with the base - the toasted bread. The bread tastes like it was fresh out of the oven that morning and flavorful like bruschetta. The avocados were delightfully thin and held a delicate flavor that carried well with the sprouts and the cilantro pesto sauce. The sauce was to die for and sustained the overall flavor of the sandwich. The sauce tasted as if it was prepared in the store - and I'm betting it was as I recall they ran out of this sauce when I wanted to try it once before.
I originally came to this place a few months ago when they were new-new; another coffee shop reminiscent of Lulu's as a closet-sized version of the nearby cafes. It was a good coffee shop; clean, unassuming, staff was nice. And what about the quality of their tea lattes? Superb. Specifically, their matcha green tea latte was the best I've had. The flavor of the matcha powder is subtle and tastes fresh rather than sweet and richer than any other matcha I've tried. The chai is spicy and holds a subtle yet distinctive blend of spices also. A small here would be served in a medium-sized mug elsewhere. Come thirsty and anxious (deprived of caffeine)!
People thought this was:
- Useful (1)
- Cool (1)
The wheat roll on the Santa Cruzer was so horrible, that I left the half of the bread to take on the job of the three full-size napkins they gave me. The "homemade" hummus was too bland to make up for the lackluster bread. And of course adding large slabs of lettuce and tomato on top of a hummus sandwich essentially saying something like, "hey I'm distracting you by my horrible taste by having you deal with a large bulky salad that falls out of the sandwich!"
By the way, I was surprised at this green town sandwich shop. Is it necessary to add three or four full-size table napkins underneath a hummus sandwich, rendering them crumby and useless? No more napkins! The bread works just fine.
Date

Servers' arms and hands were jutting in my periphery from all angles and there was constant hovering over me. I'm in absolute shock at how many servers were working on a Sunday. At any given moment, the butt of the hostess would be three inches from my head and ready to hump it. On the other side of me were servers with trays of food directly over my head.
The massive amount of "free stuff" seemed to sit for a while and it made sense why the free fried food I was given was at room temperature and had the texture of a beaten leather couch. The "free stuff" was also hastily made and stacked one by one by one by one until the sushi bar nearly overflowed with sitting food. The aroma of sitting crab (for someone who doesn't eat fish) wasn't so bad but when crab has been sitting for a while and is moved by a server, the odor sticks like a queef to a closed elevator.
Considering I don't eat fish and only ordered a vegetable spring roll in the "vegetarian" section, the "free stuff" included crab and fish. It would have been in vain to tell the server I'm vegan as the person who gave me the free food wasn't the server who took my order. The server who propelled these plates in front of me left so fast that I couldn't breathe in to say wait.
My overall impression of the staff is that they're not the sharpest knives on the sushi-cutting board. I told my primary server that I don't eat fish and couldn't eat the California roll and mentioned that I didn't touch it - and not to throw it out. She took it, shrugged and threw it out. After I finished eating, she gave me the bill and I gave her a credit card. About three minutes later, a masculine blonde woman put the card in front of my face and said "sir, we don't accept credit cards for purchases under $10 I'll be back" in one sentence. She never came back. The food came out to $9. With tip on the credit card, it would have been over ten dollars because I'm such a generous person.
It's a shame that the fast pace of the atmosphere does not meet the intellect of the workers. The vegetable rolls and the "free" cucumbers were pretty tasty.