Graham "I have maggots in my  scrotum" C.'s Profile

Yeah, so I'm going to be the a-hole I suppose when I say that this event wasn't my favorite.  Don't get me wrong, I loved the chicken and waffles, and Shawafel. However, the organization left something to be desired.

Check-in:  The line was suuuper long to get in, which I think was exacerbated by the fact that they were using laptops and people were also chatting and filling out their name badges.  It occurs to me that maybe we could print the names on the badges for events like this.  I also think that most events have people staggering in, but because there was a performance I think people showed up early which made the line even longer.  

Food: The first booze station was right after check-in, so I think there was gridlock there as people didn't realize that booze was also inside.  The food was good, but I think people spend most of their time on line for it.  And due to the buffet nature, it went really slowly.  My suggestions would be to space out the food stations, and also maybe have people approach them from both sides.  

People: Given that most people got food and then went to their seats, or stood on line, it wasn't the most social Yelp event I've been at.  Theater seating isn't super conducive to talking to people.  

Overall, I applaud Yelp for trying something new.  Maybe if the show came first and then the drinks/food it would have been easier.  With people in line reaching 35 deep at 8:00PM, me and the lady left and got dinner at Shawafel across the street.  Which was a positive for the business, which hopefully is a selling point in them giving free stuff away at our events.

So normally I hate reviews from people that start with "When you're coming home wasted, this place is awesome!!" So in my defense, when you call for delivery when you're a little drunk, I find this food to hit the spot.  Specifically the cheeseburger sub.  It's wonderful.  Happiness inside a sub roll.

My fervent plea is that people don't actually notice these reviews, because I don't want this place to get noticed.  People have covered the atmosphere.  It's authentic, which basically means that as a white person you'll be in the minority here which is how I like it when eating at restaurants.  The predominant sound will either be the latin music on the jukebox, or the telenovas on the TV.  

The food is incredible and cheap.  But you must order two things.  First are the pupusas.  They come with this awesome coleslaw-type stuff.  Delicious.  I usually get the pork and cheese.  At $2, it would be criminal not to get them. Second, you have to get the plantanos, which are sugary and crispy and mushy all at the same time.  

Also had the Burrito Azteca, which I had with steak and rice, and also oddly had broccoli and carrots.  It sounds odd, but it works. I would get that bad boy again too.  The Trio of Enchiladas was a keeper also.  

2 apps and 2 entrees for $28 including tax.  This is my favorite neighborhood spot.  And I hope they never get a real door.

This place has had some mixed reviews in the past, and there was some talk of them changing cooks.  I found this place to be great.  My girlfriend had the Google Offer, which some people have said was only good for $7.  But it only cost you $1, so quit your yapping.  

I got the M:BGR.  It comes with onions/l/t/special sauce and pickles, and cheddar.  Ordered it medium rare on a white bun.  Also got the onion rings because I heard good things. This was true.  The onion rings are incredible.  Perfectly breaded.  The burger came out and it was cooked perfectly.  Be warned: The burger is quite messy.  Some have said greasy, but I would go with juicy.  

The only negative was the bun.  It wasn't toasted, which made it not hold up as well.  So I'll see if I can get it toasted next time.  

We also got the cookies and cream milkshake. And while it was around $4.30 for a small, how much milkshake do you need,  unless you have a thyroid problem.  

The space was small and clean and the staff seemed quite nice.  I'll be back again.  This easily beats some places in the District, namely Bobby's Burger Place.

So I'm on the Megabus right now from DC to NYC and let me go over some of the pros and cons

Pros
Clean: The bus is clean and the bathroom is clean.  It's a little disturbing as a male that it's not really a toilet, but a giant tank of crap and piss colored blue, but it's the nicest smelling crap tank I've ever seen.

Views: So I'm sitting in the front on the Upper Deck which is pretty unique.  It definitely feels weird and I'm glad they provide seat belts.  Surprisingly these seats weren't grabbed right away, probably because people are afraid of being decapitated.  But face it, the people in rows 2-4 will die too, I'll just see it first.  

Cost: So for two people to go from DC-NY a few days before Xmas, it was $22.50.  I wanted to take the train but the Regional was $160 each way per person.  Bolt also has less frequencies.  

Cons:
Customer Service: So Union Station is a little confusing when trying to find which of the 4 Megabuses are yours.  Signs would help.  Also the staff are of the caliber you might find working at the supermarket, but not a good one, more like the Columbia Heights Giant.  

Wifi: Listen, they provide Wifi which means they have one router to cover the whole bus.  It's slow and intermittent.  But that's only because you and 7 other obnoxious girls with Lily Pulitzer bags are all trying to stream One Tree Hill at the same time.  So this wifi is not for streaming.  Download that crap before you get on the bus.  

That's basically it.   I gave them 4 because they're more a 3.5, but everyone seems to dog them for stuff that's not really their fault.  Traffic, internet, being on a long line for a finite commodity.

So the gf and I have been here a few times, mostly for drinks.  While those who like the scene probably like the top floor, it didn't appeal to me.  The rooftop bar is not very big and they only have certain drinks up there because of that.  The second floor with its dual-sided bar against a brick wall, is where it's at.  Dark, cozy and great cocktails.  About all you could ask from a bar.  '

My favorite was the Southside which is made with Hendricks and lots of cucumbers.  Refreshing and great for gin lovers.  

So, the big hit on this place was that the seats surround the bar and people feel like their being watched.  What about me at the bar?  Do you think I feel your hot white gaze undressing me as I scratch myself?  I'm a piece of meat to you?  Yeah, the bar crowd can push into the dining crowd.  

But to the girls having dinner at 10PM a few months ago, glaring at me for laughing so loudly, stuff it.  You choose to eat dinner at 10PM, you're lucky I didn't throw up on you.  I'm old.  I'm likely to be getting my buzz on while you're picking out what clutch to carry.  You'll get there too one day, except you'll be alone.  Just you and your barren womb.  (I apparently really disliked this girl)

This review is a conditional 3.5. I fully expect this to go up to a 4 after a month or so when they get the bugs worked out.  

We went on their second day. The lady and I wanted to sit outside on the roof deck and were told that it was full, but we could sit at the bar.  The bar isn't outside, but it opens out to the patio.  I'm not sure I'd seat people at the bar in the future.  I'd probably let them seat themselves.  

The upstairs bartender whose name starts with a W was a nice guy.  But I'd be surprised if he's there when I return.  He didn't know where any of the beers were, even though they were alphabetical in the cooler.  I understand that they were working the bugs out, but it almost felt like they finished the build and hired the employees the day before it opened.  

We had the Kosmic Karma and the potato pizzas and they were both excellent, thought the Karma was burned and a new one had to be sent out.  We got the wings at Justin's suggestion.  We also got the brownie sundae and it looked awesome.  But it was cold.  I gotta imagine that its supposed to be warm.  Lord I hope so.  

I'll be back because the gf loves this place and I'm eager to see it improve.  It also adds a great non-Jumbo Slice option on 18th St.

I'm not sure I'd call this a sports bar, as much as a college bar with lots of TVs.  Called the Wolf Den after the University of Nevada - Reno Wolf Pack, it's a small restaurant with a blue lighting scheme.  

The place is seat yourself and you walk up to a counter to place your order.  If you want alcohol you have to walk over to the bar.  When I saw they had Rolling Rock on tap, I said out loud "I haven't had that since college." And the three college girls at the bar turned to me as I said no offense.  

So you come here for two reasons, cheap beer and the Awful Awful  So known because it's Awful Big and Awful Good.  It started at the Little Nugget Casino and they brought it to this place as well.  The burger is not the best I've had, but it's good, with a toasted buttered bun, tomato lettuce, pickles, onions and special sauce.  (NB: Any special sauce on a burger is almost always some mayo and ketchup derivative) It also comes with a pound of fries all for $7.50.  When you also add the fact that 3 beers, and good beers like Fat Tire, are $10 even, you realize that you could walk in with a twenty and be good for the night.  

Good place to come for cheap beer and big burgers.  What else are you going to do in Reno?  See Frank Sinatra Jr?

So you rent a car in Atlanta and on the way back you notice that gas gauge reads juuuust below Full.  Bastards..... So I need to get gas.  The last exit before hitting the airport says it has gas.  And it does.  I spy a Citgo sign down the road.  

As I pull up, I notice the Otter signs, which should have been my first clue.  I travel a fair amount and I've never heard of this Otter company before.  I was pleased to see lots of pumps.  However, I get to the first one and it says it doesn't take plastic.  Alright, I'll circle around to the next...wait...it has a plastic bag on the handle which is the international sign for "I'm too cheap to fix this, but it don't work." Not a problem, I pull up to one of the next pumps and it doesn't work.  So finally, I find a pump that works, and fill up the car.  

The screen on the pump reads out "Out of receipt paper" Awesome.  So I walk inside and the place looks scary.  Poorly lit with what looks like a food counter that's empty and it looks like a truck stop in a horror movie.  

So this is a gas station with over 15 pumps, but only 6 of them are working.  So fix your crap, Otter.

So in reading the reviews here, the complaints have been either too crowded or too little food for the money.  Came here last night around 5:30PM for an early dinner with the lady.  

It was hot, as someone mentioned, and I'm a sweaty man, so we elected to sit inside.  Sitting inside, which is like sitting inside a tiny tap room where the servers talk and hang out, it felt like being invited into the lifeguard shack.  I thought it was pretty cool.  

I had the Standard Burger, medium rare.  It was awesome.  On par with Shake Shack.  Delicious.  Also had the onion rings which were fried to perfection and the hush puppies, which could have used a sauce of some kind.  The girl got the pulled pork which was good.  I thought the prices were fine.  $7-8 for a good pulled pork sandwich or burger is actually pretty cheap I thought, given what they charge at Hill Country or Saint Ex.  The sandwiches don't come with sides, so that can be off putting.  Hey, Standard, include a pickle.  It doesn't cost that much and makes my plate look bigger.  

As for the crowds, there were none yesterday, but that's because it was 5:30.  This is the kind of place that can get douchey (douchy?) pretty quickly.  From Thurs to Sun, it will be a sea of sunglasses at night, brown flip flops and yelling jackasses with big beers.  I don't fault Standard, those types of people are called "profit engines."

So you just have to pick when to go.  Or go when it's colder, because we all know douchebags hate the cold.  They'll be busy at the H Street Country Club "ironically" playing mini golf in their actual and unironic golf clothing.  More big beers for me.