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john "Haltse" p.'s Profile

Photo of john p.

Photo of john p.

"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so"

Elite 2009

profile votes icon Review votes:
139 Useful, 77 Funny, and 98 Cool

Location

Phoenix, AZ

Yelping Since

June 2008

Things I Love

Seriously hot food, motorcycles, sea otters, otters

Find Me In

an oven that has the temerity to have city limits

My Hometown

Edinburgh, Scotland

My Blog Or Website

http://blog.theotterma...

When I'm Not Yelping...

I'm wrangling a toddler, riding my bike,

Why You Should Read My Reviews

You  shouldn't but I think we've established that you'll read anything.

My Second Favorite Website

http://www.strike-the-...

The Last Great Book I Read

Market Forces, Richard K Morgan

My First Concert

Fish ( ex Marillion)

My Favorite Movie

Film answer   Amelie and Bladerunner,    Movie answer  changes too much

My Last Meal On Earth

World's biggest Vindaloo

Don't Tell Anyone Else But...

the  Baby sitter's dead.

Most Recent Discovery

Marian Call ,Ice Hockey, Paul and Storm

Current Crush

Women that  like scotch and Sci Fi

Recent Reviews

77 Reviews

Filter by: arrow Location   arrow Category
2501 W Happy Valley Road
Phoenix, AZ 85085
(623) 581-8635

Red Robin Gourmet Burgers  

Category: Restaurants

2 star rating
 9/26/2009  
After watching an advert for large burgers in 3d Phoenix was sunny with no sign of cheeseburger. Didn't  stop at the nearest place, Johnny Rockets ,and we went a bob bob bobbin' along to Red Robin.
Near 4 in the afternoon isn't a busy time but the service-dividend one would hope to reap wasn't  present.

Greetings, placement, balloon for kid all happy:) time to drinks good. Then not so much.

Ordered a burger that had jalapenos as part of the garnish. What i got was double fried, at least, and cold .While the server did go back and get some  it's a pain in the ass to have to open up, pick them out, and wait for the new ones to get back. It's a small thing? Maybe so small that anyone with brains would not serve cold, fat sodden and about as far from crispy as you can get in the first place.Paltry number of fries ( seemingly you can ask for more but found that out a little too late

The bun was claimed to be a jalapeno,meant to be chipotle mayo  and the burger was meant to have seen cayenne. Tasted fine, just not gourmet  in terms of ingredients and presentation.

My wife's BLTA was the straggliest SINGLE piece of bacon we've seen in a long time and the 2 piece of avocado  seemed to have visited the same health farm as the pig:)

Slow refills, had to ask for mine. Wife's refilled but way late in meal.
Poor value. realistically it's about 2.25 rounded down.
2168 E Williams Field Rd
Gilbert, AZ 85295
(480) 814-7722

Grimaldi's Coal Brick-Oven Pizza  

Category: Pizza

3 star rating
 9/26/2009  
This place wasn't even going to get a rating.

It was busy on a Fri night around 7pm but the outside area had many a single table occupied with loads to spare.Quoted a 45 min wait.  Stood around a minute outside while thinking of another place to go when the , possibly on-duty manager, outside asked what was up , let her know and they said  to give them 10 mins to get the outside ready  which was much more agreeable. Things improved greatly after this.

Better pizza than average, same story with the salad and decent servings on the wine. Much better with children than expected.  Food is maybe 3 to 3.5* but the service made it feel like a 4* for the type of restaurant.  While unimaginative on the mushrooms, it's a source of amusement to see the care and attention that goes into making the base pie and then failing at the fungus stage ,with default 'shrooms was a wee bit sad. Not a great selection of beer, a bit better on the wine front but not by much.

Restrooms. You are kidding ? Yep there's 1 in the guys, 1 for the girls, and  not a lot of room to wait in. It's not the most toddler friendly set up.
410 E Fremont St
Tombstone, AZ 85638
(520) 457-2272

Larian Motel  

Category: Hotels

4 star rating
 8/29/2009   First to Review
Stayed here based on advice from a friend. It's within stumbling distance of  the main street / saloons and has a character that the Best Westerns on the edge of town can't match.

Recently refurbished,clean room, minimal check-in. The room has a Mwave, coffee machine, fridge,free wifi and decent water pressure and heat from the shower. parking within a few feet if your door, in most cases and cost around $75

That's all I really need in a motel. I'll definitely be using this place again next time I'm back in town.

People thought this was:

  • Useful (1)
  • Funny (1)
  • Cool (1)
6229 E Auto Park Dr
Mesa, AZ 85206
(480) 355-6900

Honda Superstition Springs  

Categories: Auto Repair, Car Dealers

1 star rating
 Update - 8/8/2009  
Follow  up.  Car was passed by Honda, dealer didn't call. Called up to  inquire of the two people that I had dealth with Pat , Mehdi,  ( Pat doens't work weekends, yet we dealt with him last weekend.  Mehdi is out the country , apparently forgetting that a trip was coming up.

100% untrustworthy sales team.

People thought this was:

  • Useful (2)
  • Funny (1)
  • Cool (1)

3 Previous Reviews: Hide »

  • 2 star rating
    8/6/2009

    Back to their old tricks.

    Called re a certified Element they had on their site.  Sure come on down.   When we got there  was told that they couldn't let us test the car as Honda wanted to verify that it was being represented correctly as a certified car  ( given our history here we thought that was quite amusing)

    In our opinion  the interior fails that test on the cosmetic front but hey, we're not the experts that these guys are;)

    People thought this was:

    • Useful (2)
    • Funny (2)
    • Cool (2)
  • 2 star rating
    3/3/2009

    Found out that the Honda customer support line is more of a heatsink for the dealers. The Honda rep I dealt with , Morris, took the view that since they would fix it after the fact that everything is ok.    Yep piece of mind to them = 2 weekends of sitting at a dealer or arranging alternative transport at your expense.  I think I'm more pissed at the rubber stamping.  

    Ok here's why it's still a two. Mistakes happen. If they had taken car back  week one,   took me to and from work, or given me a loan, and fixed it first time I would have been happy  enough for  3 stars:)  Sadly they said no loaners, do it on your own time and that the certified items had to have gone wrong between them  certifying it, and me buying it so really the  warranty rather than certification that's the issue.   Basically do not trust CPO  cars to be working as advertised just because of the name.They don't need to be at time of sale at least according to Honda just at the time certified. So if your car sits on a lot for 3 months and people take spares from it.. yeah  well  :) Sucks to be you.

    People thought this was:

    • Useful (3)
    • Funny (2)
    • Cool (2)
  • 2 star rating
    2/4/2009 First to Review

    Following on from the fun over at Camelback VW  we drove to see a Honda Civic at this dealer.  Decent test drive , I like Susan  (Suzzane?) the sales person and once again I find it hard to divorce the idea that the initial tier doesn't know what the sales manager and Fi guy are going to pull.

    The car is a certified Honda meaning that it should have had 150 items checked and they all should work. To this dealer it means  "if they notice fix it"  actually it meant  pretend to fix it.  So yes I bought the car ( sorry to spoil the ending) but am still trying to get it to match the condition  at which I negotiated the price for.

    Manager tier pulls  the usual car dealer tricks.  Unable to answer an honest question. E.g What's the price of the car +tax + doc + vlt with NO other add ons  for paint coverage, window etching or a myriad of other things you can acquire  for far far less if you add them after market.   I nearly walked out as the $200 etching fee made it into the paperwork. He claimed it's an error, said it would hurt the salesperson  and the usual emotional BS they teach at weasel school. Having said that I liked the finance guy , Kiko, which is a total first for me.

    If you paid $800 for a factory alarm it will do your sanity good to avoid checking the part number and installation procedure.

    So why the two?  The fuel cap on these can only be released from the inside and it doesn't work. Noticing this on your trip to San Diego after buying the car is not a lot of fun. Once it was opened it had so much grease, fresh, that it looked like an attempt to cover it up/ fix it.  
    The radio that I pointed out  had the speakers incorrectly installed was meant to be remedied on site. They did a little but still doesn't work and  the central  cabin light isn't working.  The latter 2 are livable the former is not.  
    Yes it's picky but the inflated value of a cert car is mostly the happy fluffy knowledge that it's been checked and has no major issues that would prevent your enjoyment  or necessitate a trip back to the dealers to resolve.

    People thought this was:

    • Useful (3)
    • Funny (3)
    • Cool (3)
13215 W Mcdowell Rd
Goodyear, AZ 85338
(623) 935-3809

Nakama Sushi Restaurant & Lounge  

Category: Sushi Bars

3 star rating
 8/6/2009  
Boy this started out poorly, I was really getting worried but in the end I'm glad we stuck with it.  Being out at the only Suzuki dealer within 120 miles that can do warranty work  meant forgoing our favorite place, Zen Sushi, in favour of Nakama.  

After entering,  8pm on Friday, we met a rather confused greeter. No drinks menu, no sushi menu nor utensils, yeah we had to request the existence of ALL these, thankfully Mike,the waiter, was on the ball and things got a lot better from here on in.

Thai Basil Udon - Udon with tomato and  basil  in a blazing sweet chili sauce with chicken was  pretty good, the sashimi  and sushi were better than average for the  are (E.G, Phoenix metro  not Avondale)  and it's not going to break the bank.

The pomegranite soyu was great  and well worth trynig out.This was a recommendation from the waiter , though I think the bar tender was strong arming him into making it;), which was a really good idea. Sadly they had ran out of Sapporo 12oz  , so it was a soft drink kind of evening from there on.

Nice surroundings,  not too crazy on  a Friday night and certainly worth another visit when in the area but  I wouldn't drive by Zen sushi, Hot wasebi or Tokyo lobby to get there
10305 W Papago Fwy
Avondale, AZ 85323
(623) 907-5000

Avondale Nissan  

3 star rating
 8/1/2009   First to Review
We went in to check out a Cube while our car was being serviced at a nearby dealer prior to being sold.  Trudy,  was pretty good at assisting us, was way up to speed on the product line ,most of the car sales people we've dealt with know crap about cars let along the cars they are selling, and she came up with a decent alternative suggestion for an alternate vehicle. All in all one of the better car shopping trips we've had.

The provisional figures matched exactly what I was looking for without anything sneaking its way in but really it's hard to tell how they are going to treat you once you start the purchase.
10555 West Papago Freeway
Avondale, AZ 85323
(623) 298-1200

Michael Crawford Suzuki  

Category: Car Dealers

3 star rating
 Update - 8/1/2009  
Service today. Called in,got a time,arrived and they greeted me by name. Work was done on time ( replace all motor mounts and do and AT flush, no surprises, good recommendations and nothing padded .

They called when it was meant to be ready.  

I had a chat with their finance manager re the prior trip leading to failure  and the sales staff having an interesting interpretation of having a car within your inventory entailed.  I had no names from the calls because one shouldn't expect every encounter with   a company to be a future problem (practically  you should but it sucks a lot of enjoyment out of life)  For my concern I got a discount on future service items for which I am happy with just now.

They have late night opening for service too,  9pm on 3 or 4 nights.

1 Previous Review: Hide »

  • 2 star rating
    7/28/2009 First to Review

    I could go into this but let's keep it brief.

    They sent me a card , I'd been out before to test drive a couple of cars,  that offered 6k off any 2008 model. We called to confirm on the Sat PM that they had 2008 Aerio Sx4 crossovers in stock. Drove down in 110 heat on the Sunday  to  find out that ,er no ,they didn't have any. That they don't really check stock that much, that the people on the phone at $8 can't be expected to get something as simple as an inventory question right.  

    The latter doesn't mitigate the companies cheapness in hiring then does it?  All in all it's the usual bag of tricks which kinda sucks. The "salesperson" I spoke with knew we were coming, had our number and didn't bother to call re the sudden, and unexpected rush of people that bought up all the in stock cars overnight, must have been celebrating this momentous occasion eh?

    Gas, time, goodwill  all wasted. About the most moronic thing a new dealer of a niche brand can do.This is the only Suzuki dealer north of Tucson now and if they plan to build a brand based on such a fundamental lack of respect for the buyer's time I don't foresee too bright a future for Suzuki in the Phoenix region.

    People thought this was:

    • Useful (1)
14880 N Northsight blvd
Scottsdale, AZ 85260
(480) 922-9494

Siam Oishi  

Categories: Japanese, Thai

2 star rating
 7/29/2009 2 photos   First to Review
The Mediterranean place that closed down has morphed into  Siam Oishi a Japanese - Thai, the best thing I can say about it is the bikes parked outside from the Ducati shop improve the view.  

I've only had one meal here but it's not likely to get a recommendation to the people at work. I kinda hate that I kick off with a negative review  but  this isn't that cheap a place for the quality of food I received. I had lunch bento 4 chicken katsu. This comes in a plastic bento tray, salad, rice, katsu and a couple of slices of orange.

You also get miso soup which was pretty poor and the dashi base was rather too much like a chicken stock with little flavor in the supporting ingredients . ( Zen Sushi spoils us)  

The Katsu was apparently fried more than once, with an intermediate cooling period, was really fat laden and is readily beaten at  Ono's, or to be frank any order of katsu i've had in the last, oh lifetime.  It wasn't white it was saturated with oil for that nice yellow color.

We have too many good places  around $9 at lunch, Saigon nites,  Thai House and Indian paradise  (on a good day) to make this part of the lunch rotation.

People thought this was:

  • Useful (1)
10125 W McDowell Road
Avondale, AZ 85323
(623) 742-9892

Claim Jumper  

Category: Restaurants

4 star rating
 7/28/2009  
Initially lost on entry. CJ = hearth on the way in, it's absence made me wonder just how much damage the noon sun had wraught but nope It's just not there.

The first  server didn't know about the drinks available, no asian beers present, but specifically  was unable to get a pear cider in bottles until we'd proved it, would have been easier to have asked the bar person, oh hell she was the bar tender but I like a game of search the menu when parched. Makes the prize so much more rewarding.

Server change:)

Sabrina was great, a non corporate personality in a chain ( tis a good thing) even during my head-addled minds attempt to get through the appearance of an item on the menu being claimed to be "happy hour only" Sorry I wanted  6 wings, not 12,  hard enough to lose weight, yeah why go to Claim Jumpers then,  damn you caught me. ( I was cheating ok?)   We had a light, for CJ, meal and it all came out well cooked and on time. Drinks stayed filled.  I stopped going to these a while back because the self control  didn't match their offer I'm happy to say that they are making it a bit easier ( though not by much ) to leave without two bags of food under your arm while your spouse wheels you out to the car.
Muthill Road
Crieff PH7 4HQ
UK
+44 1764 655374

Caithness Glass  

Category: Art Galleries

5 star rating
 7/23/2009 1 photo   First to Review
I lived near the predecessor of this glass art, craft and factory showroom in Perth which was always one of the pieces of local colour I took visitors by. Since this was the first trip back to the UK since meeting the wife it was time to go again.

Their new place is only about 25 miles from the old one but is far smaller, maybe 1/3 the retail space. Even better though the access to the craftsfolk  is no longer behind a wall, glass and almost totally insulated from the sound but  occurs a foot or two away from behind the metal railing. If you are missing Phoenix heat at this time you will probably feel right at home:)  

There's a restaurant, gift shop and other crafts shops, like jewelry and ceramics nearby so it's easy to spend 1/2 a day here, I suggest spending the next half at that nearby Glen Turret distillery for another kind of glass appreciation:)

There's a video presentation on glass making and the company history, kinda lo-tech. E.G., they have to come start the video :)  There are hands on  glass painting areas and what turned out to be a lot of fun for the wife the chance to make your own glass paperweight.  (They may not be complete the same day so having it mailed on could be necessary )

I love their output and while I am not remotely a serious collector ( seriously don't have the serious money to keep up with it)  these beat out any tourist trinket you can take back.

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41 Compliments

  • Just a Note

    Missed you at the last event... hope to see you again soon!

  • Just a Note

    Wow - sounds like quite the debacle with Honda...

  • Just a Note

    Enjoy Scotland!

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4 Lists

Photo of George & Dragon Restaurant

The hard cider tour ( AKA…

Places to eat where draught cider , or at a pinch…
1.  George & Dragon Restaurant
Returned for the wings…
2.  Tyneside Tavern
Haddington is just off…
3.  Rosie McCaffrey's Irish Pub…
Part of my draught cider…
See Full List »
Photo of Gordon Biersch Restaurant

Unlikely to return

Places that we've eaten that would make a return…
1.  Gordon Biersch Restaurant
Looks like  solid twos…
3.  Yard House
In context  of eating…
See Full List »

See all lists