Nathan W.'s Profile

Rontoms, meh. It's average in every aspect with the exception of it's drink prices and patio.  Both are above average, the patio in a good way and the prices in a bad way.  With so many other bars in the area with real character and charm, leave Rontoms to the weekend warriors from wherever they carpool in from.

Everything was satisfactory, but nothing surprised me.  The pate plate tasted just like pate should. The mac & cheese was just that (albeit for $6).  The mixed greens salad was a handful of the bulk pack Earthbound Farms greens with a little dressing and the brisket (at $19) was a slab of slow cooked meat drenched in bbq sauce.  

The reason I went with the brisket was the steaks all seemingly came pre-sliced, which to me seemed silly in a temple of meat.  Now the brisket, on the other hand, came untouched.  So untouched, in fact, that once you dug under the sauce, you came to realize that a whole third of the slab was a pure, gelatinous glob of fat.

I guess we were just supremely disappointed because our hopes were set quite high. This restaurant comes to us from the masterminds that brought us Simpatica which is an ivory tower of service, atmosphere and supreme food quality in the Portland restaurant scene.

Laurelhurst Market has a nicer ambience than Simpatica but, in nearly every other category, lags significantly behind. We'll try again in a year or so but no rush to go back now.

Por Que No? Por que tu no tiene sabrosa?

Five star atmosphere, five star staff... two star food. Yes it's made from quality ingredients, yes they make their corn tortillas from scratch.  There's so many reasons to love this place!  I want to love this place!

Why I don't love this place, the food is just plain bland. The beans have no complexity, the rice tastes like rice boiled in water and the meat just tastes like meat charred on a grill.

For the jump in price above the average mexican restaurant, I expect subtlety of flavor.  Rice cooked in broth, spices, complexity... layers of seasoning revealing themselves in each bite. I've been here three times now hoping, wanting to love the food but I can't.  It's not bad food it's just completely boring food.

Thatch was a wonderful night out!  Three of us descended here last Saturday around ten pm for a visit with our friend alcohol.  

The drinks are wonderfully concocted and strong.  I recommend letting the bartender know what kind of preference you have for booze and let their imaginations run wild.  Fortunately for the three of us, she took us on a tour of the menu's gin drinks (and a couple that were off the menu too!)

Great service, great velvet paintings and a small enough atmosphere to really let you hunker down with friends. Once you're all hunkered in there, order the pupu platter! For $28, the three of us had way more food than we could handle and it was all delicious.  Real crab wontons, bbq pork, ribs, tenderloin, spring rolls... every bite was tasty!

Now, the fifth star comes specifically for the pleasure of sitting next to the most coyly posed Michael Jackson velvet painting I've ever witnessed!  Thatch, authentic tiki bar?  Not sure.  Wonderful place to meet friends over fancy cocktails? Absolutely!

I had to wait twenty minutes today, jerks.  The food was still AMAZING!

I really, truly, want to bump this up to a four star rating.  I like this brewery!  The beer is great, the staff is wonderful.

Every time I'm there, the staff goes out of their way to make sure I'm happy!  The food, hmm, the food has consistency issues.  Somedays it's so stinking good, I can't believe that bar isn't jam packed at happy hour.  Other days, you order the $8 happy hour nachos and you're greeted with a giant plate of chips, three of those chips have melted cheese, a scant handful of raw onion, a toss of dry chicken and the smallest cup of salsa imaginable. That said, I've had those nachos where three people split them and we all raved about them as the best we'd had in the city.  Literally fighting over the last chip.

The atmosphere is a little hippy-dippy for me and the bar is oddly high making you feel like you're a child in a high chair.  The tap handles are the nicest tap handles I've ever seen... wow!

So, Roots Brewery, sort out the cooks.  Get them all up to the same great standard, keep up the good work with the FOH and beer production and I'll jump up the stars to 4.5.  You get the other half for a different choice of music, but then again, I think 90% of your clientele loves the music!  I'm just being selfish on that point.

Five stars for the finest vegan pub grub menu I've ever seen!  Two stars for service, atmosphere and customers.

Service... why on a slow, slow night with two people behind the bar can you not even bother to come over to our table to at least mention to us that there's no table service?  

Atmosphere... not bad, just not my style.

Customers... wow, never have I witnessed a group of twenty-something so pissed that a thirty-something visited "their" bar. I've never received more dirty "what are YOU doing here" looks at any bar I've ever visited. I didn't roll in decked out in Abercrombie or Polo either...

The bartender was very nice after we were trained to walk to her to order.  The food was WONDERFUL albeit a little spendy. Would I go back?  Maybe but only with a large posse of friends to square off against the "hipper than though" clientele.  I know I shouldn't judge a bar by it's clientele, but being uncomfortable because of them still makes for an unpleasant experience.

Wings, you either love 'em or you love 'em but avoid eating them most of the time.

I fall into the latter group!

In years past, I'd give in once (maybe twice) a year and get wings at BW3, Hooters, Wingdome or a multitude of other crappy wing joints.  

NEVER AGAIN!  When the urge strikes, I'm going to take it to the church of wings.  The sauces are amazing, the staff super friendly, the beer selection is top notch and the price is completely reasonable.

Why not five stars Mr. Rave-About-Em?  Well, I like a lot of veg on the side.  It cuts the heat, makes you feel less decadent and frankly, I just love carrot and celery sticks.  Well, they only give you a scant toss of celery on the side of 18 wings. Up the veg, I'll up the stars.

So delicious! Homemade pitas, homemade sauce, homemade cheese, and close to my home.

They serve wonderful Israeli food that appeals to mine and my wife's peacekeeping heritage (I'm part Lebanese, she's part Israeli).  Wonderful hot day food that stands out amongst the million middle eastern meals you've had.

One star off because the $6 sandwich wasn't enough to fill me up.  I will be back, multiple times though!

I think I'm going to agree with pretty much everything Lauren has to say about this shop.  It has a wonderful selection of oddities, vintage, locally made art and music (some even from friends).  Tiny little cute things to look at and consider purchasing.

I also agree that it doesn't even seem like there's enough stuff to sell to make rent.  Where my two star difference comes into play was the woman working.  Never in Portland have I felt so non-existent.  I even said a friendly hello which she met with a smug half-smile.  No "can I help you?" no "do you have any questions" just a constant look of irritation that the three of us were in there.  

I even wanted to buy two of the items but decided to track down the friends that made them instead.  I know they'll appreciate the business where this store just doesn't seem to need, care about, or want your business.

Even as we left, not a word was said to us.