Sally "wowee zowee" K.'s Profile

This is such a great boutique.  I love buying special baked treats for my pooch, and Moulin Pooch has the best selection in the city. Sure, it can be pricey, but it's not OVER priced.  All of the employees are super nice and very friendly.  Definitely should be on your list of places to regularly visit if you've got a dog in the house.  Five stars!

wine out the barrel in a cave, you my only friend.

I'm speaking for a friend.

Imagine you're drunk by yourself on a Tuesday at like 4:35PM.  And you're at home.  Remember, I'm speaking for a friend.  Now imagine that you're super hungry, because you're really, totally toasted.  Like, you drank a bottle and a half of great wine BY YOURSELF.  And you know how you (my friend, I mean) get when you are that crunked out.  You get hungry.  But not like, "I want to cook a 7-course meal in my own home!  And let's keep it healthy!"  More like "I wanna eat hella tasty deliciousness for like $20 nomnomnom the most I will do is add water or microwave, biiiitccchhh."

A quick yelp search will tell you your options are limited to pizza, Indian, Thai, and what the fuck is this?  DIM SUM, MOTHERFUCKER.

Dim Sum Bar not only has their menu online but these dudes are hella fast.  Faster than lightning, probably.  I mean that's what my friend told me.  Because I would never be drunk, by myself on a Tuesday before 5.  Nope, not me.

Make sure you get at least two orders of Siu Mai.

I want to start off by saying that I was really looking forward to attending a little soiree at the Royal Oak.  The interiors are amazing, especially the Tiffany's glass and the fern collections.  

With that said, what a disappointment.  We were there on a Tuesday night.  I think it's safe to assume that someone had called in sick or something, as there was only one bartender.  I'm not going to comment on her complete inability to pay attention to all the customers trying to get drinks.  We'll just assume she was understaffed.  

Problem one:  When we got there around 9pm she was on her cellphone.  For five minutes.  She acknowledged our presence, but continued talking.  It's cool to take calls when you're working, but keep it short, you know?  Especially when we're holding a twenty dollar bill and staring at you.

Problem two:  She had no idea how to make anything.  She did not know what a Cape Cod was (it is vodka and cranberry juice).  One of our friends said "I'll have a Budweiser in a bottle."  She gave him a Bud Light.  Another friend ordered a Bombay Sapphire martini.  She poured a double shot into a glass and then poured it into a martini glass with a lemon twist.  She didn't shake or stir it with ice.  Didn't add anything else.  She served him a martini glass filled exclusively with warm gin.  After realizing all of this, I tried to keep it super simple and straight-forward, here was our conversation:

Sally K:  I would like two drinks, please.  One with Bombay Sapphire and tonic.  And another with Tanqueray and tonic.  A lime in each, please.
Bartender:  :::looks confused::: okay, I got it.

I turned away to say something to my friend and when I turned back she had just finished pouring the gin in.  When I asked her which one was which, she said "oh!" and then poured more Tanqueray into both glasses.  Huh, what?  And then "you wanted tonic in these, right?"

She served me two Bombay Saphire and Tanqueray with tonics.  And then charged me $22.

Never again.

Sometimes when I'm lonely or bored I'll trot down to the Apple Store and here is what I do:

1.  Find an available computer (almost impossible during peak hours)
2.  Open up Photobooth and snap a shot of myself
3.  Open up any type of image editing software
4.  Draw a beard on my face
5.  Admire my work while realizing that women should not grow beards because they basically just look like poo-beards, which is not a good look
6.  Set said masterpiece as the desktop background
7.  Go home

Oh and I also buy iPhones and computers here, but whatever.

It looks like I dipped my fingertips into a bowl filled with raspberry jam.

This is a great place to have as many martinis as possible.

Mother dearest and I stop in here whenever we're near Old Oakland, and it's always such a treat.  Great service, great drinks, great dishes.  We couldn't be happier when we visit.  Not to mention the location is a prime spot for people watching and the like, so there's always something (or someone!) to talk about.  

B's one of my favorite restaurants in Oakland!  Woo!

More like FuMe.  

This place is sex on a plate.

http://www.yelp.com/bi...  See those bars next to the window?  The ones that are directly above the window seats?  Everyday people who are seated stand up to get off the train and they hit their head very hard on the metal rods that are stupidly placed directly above the seating area.  It happened to me today, and the girl sitting across from me said "that's so not the first time I've seen that happen."  Then it happened to ANOTHER PERSON a few seats up a few seconds later.  That's a lot of head injuries.

Caltrain, I love you, I do.  But you could have caused me a serious concussion.  I now have a lumpy and sore head, and I'm worried that if you hurt someone worse than just bruising you'll get sued.  We are a broke ass state right now, so we need all the money we can get.  Public transportation is experiencing severe financial cuts.  Do you really need a lawsuit on your hands?  Get it together, and fix your trains so that they aren't hurting the people who pay to ride them.