Catherine "Witty Kitty" T.'s Profile

Owner sent me an apologetic PM mere hours after I posted my review.  It's obvious he cares about his business and the way his customers are treated.  I honestly have no reason to go back, unfortunately... er, well, that's fortunate for me, really.  I mean, who wants damage on their car?

Dare I say this place is the best body shop from Portland, ME to Portland, OR?  I dare.

While being snubbed at King of the Ding(-a-Lings) down the street, I Yelp-searched other body shops and found this place, so I gave the king a back-ended bow and high-tailed it over to Heritage.

I noticed a Geico office, an Enterprise Rent-a-Car, some nice couches, and two really nice cars (a Corvette and a GTO) on display in the office.  This, and the fact that I was immediately greeted with gusto, all gave me a great vibe.  I didn't catch the name of the guy I dealt with, so let's just call him Harry... as in Heritage.

I explained to him that I had a really bad habit of pulling too far into parking spaces, and the years of doing it are what likely caused my fender to start separating from the rest of the car on either side.  I would hear that terrible scraping sound of the bottom of my fender against the stupid curb, and I'd shudder and then kick my own ass.  Driving from place to place, I would have to push both sides of the fender back in after most trips to avoid any super-serious problems.  

Well, a couple of nights ago I thought I was okay pulling into a parking spot, but then I heard that infernal noise and realized I'd done it again.  And I'd been so good and careful lately, too!  I gulped and carefully reversed the car a bit.  Got out to find the fender almost completely flipped up, only still attached at the top.  I managed to get it put back together, seemingly as strong as before, but I realized I'd finally have to get off my ass and do something about this -- lest my fender finally completely fall off and I run over it -- which led me to this frantic search down Pond Springs the very next day.

So Harry told me they couldn't repair it in the traditional way, since whatever little something-or-other connectors on the sides of the fenders had broken off, but they could -- for lack of better terminology -- jerry-rig it and make it look nice.  He warned me in advance to be more careful about those damned parking curbs.  Yeah, no kidding!  

I was gonna get an estimate for replacement of the fender, but once he quoted $153 for the repair, I immediately settled on that.  Hell, my insurance deductible is $1,000, and I didn't wanna have to report the claim and have my rate rise, so I think I done good.

I asked how long the repair would take, and was told 4-5 hours.  It was around noon at the time, and they close at 5:30, so I knew we were pushing the clock.  I also knew there was a possibility I wouldn't get the car back that day, though Harry never stated that.  But, hey, I have a bike.  And working legs (for now).  

Some other Heritage guy drove me home.  I didn't get his name, either, but we'll call him Cosby because he had the comedy radio station on as we were driving, and they were airing an old Bill Cosby act.  Cosby was nice and easy to talk to, as well as a great driver.  I've gotta mention, too, that both Harry and Cosby were very polite by opening doors for me (including car doors).

I was right in the middle of a fattening lunch at 3:15 when Harry called to tell me my bitch... ahem, my car, was ready.  That was sooner than I figgered.  I actually wasn't ready to be picked up yet, so I asked for Cosby to come at 4pm, which he did.

No trouble on the bill; the price was exactly as quoted.  The work looks great.  They even vacuumed my floor mats.  They also, for some reason, put everything they found in the floor boards on the back seat of my car.  I guess some peeps might be pissed off about that, but I wasn't, as this makes it easier for me to sort the trash and keeps-y items.

So now my car looks slightly better than decent, which means it excels at being it.  I'm not nearly as embarrassed by it now as I was before.  Heritage asked if I wanted it painted.  I said no, but I'm gonna do it next year.  Three guesses where I'm taking the car.

I'm still alive.

On the first day of Christmas, Time Burner gave to me
An ou-tage on my TV.

On the second day of Christmas, Time Burner gave to me
Two verbal insults,
And an outage on my TV.

On the third day of Christmas, Time Burner gave to me
Three clenched wallets,
Two verbal insults,
And an outage on my TV.

On the fourth day of Christmas, Time Burner gave to me
Four folly repairs,
Three clenched wallets,
Two verbal insults,
And an ou-tage on my TV.

On the fifth day of Christmas, Time Burner gave to me
FIVE OLD EXCUSES,
Four folly repairs,
Three clenched wallets,
Two verbal insults,
And an outage on my TV.

On the sixth day of Christmas, Time Burner gave to me
Six channels displaying,
FIVE OLD EXCUSES,
Four folly repairs,
Three clenched wallets,
Two verbal insults,
And an outage on my TV.

On the seventh day of Christmas, Time Burner gave to me
Seven connections a-limping,
Six channels displaying,
FIVE OLD EXCUSES,
Four folly repairs,
Three clenched wallets,
Two verbal insults,
And an ou-tage on my TV.

On the eighth day of Christmas, Time Burner gave to me
Eight reps a-bilking,
Seven connections a-limping,
Six channels displaying,
FIVE OLD EXCUSES,
Four folly repairs,
Three clenched wallets,
Two verbal insults,
And an outage on my TV.

On the ninth day of Christmas, Time Burner gave to me
Nine techies damning,
Eight reps a-bilking,
Seven connections a-limping,
Six channels displaying,
FIVE OLD EXCUSES,
Four folly repairs,
Three clenched wallets,
Two verbal insults,
And an outage on my TV.

On the tenth day of Christmas, Time Burner gave to me,
Ten words for grieving,
Nine techies damning,
Eight reps a-bilking,
Seven connections a-limping,
Six channels displaying,
FIVE OLD EXCUSES,
Four folly repairs,
Three clenched wallets,
Two verbal insults,
And an outage on my TV.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, Time Burner gave to me
Eleven ways of griping,
Ten words for grieving,
Nine techies damning,
Eight reps a-bilking,
Seven connections a-limping,
Six channels displaying,
FIVE OLD EXCUSES,
Four folly repairs,
Three clenched wallets,
Two verbal insults,
And an outage on my TV.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, Time Burner gave to me
Twelve troubles coming,
Eleven ways of griping,
Ten words for grieving,
Nine techies damning,
Eight reps a-bilking,
Seven connections a-limping,
Six channels displaying,
FIVE OLD EXCUSES,
Four folly repairs,
Three clenched wallets,
Two verbal insults,
And an ou-tage on my TV.

A new lesson learned:  These culinary duels are quite the good time, and can make non-ticket holding people quite jealous.

A learned lesson echoed last night:  A certain non-ticket holding person threw quite the fit last night when he learned he couldn't have his sushi roll and eat it, too.  Said person was a 6- or 7-year-old tyke there with his mom and sister.  The Roll On Sushi owner informed them that they would not be able to eat there that night because of the event, and the imp threw a hissy.  The rest of us thought he was kidding at first, as he whirled around the sidewalk, screaming like a tea kettle.  But then he hit his sister and ran inside the restaurant, folded his arms and pouted, refusing to leave.  Roll On owner promised the brat a free roll next time they came in.  Mom made several excuses for her son, but I noticed she never, at any point during her son's tantrum, used anything resembling discipline.  And this reminded me why I will never procreate.  Never, never, never.  

But anyway...

So Nathan I. and I were seated at the counter and given tickets:  two tickets for beer, and two tickets for sake.  I honestly don't remember what style of beer we were given, but I can tell you it was dark and delicious, and I'm very excited to say that I'll be going on a tour of the Hops & Grain brewery this Saturday.  

As far as the sake, I'm not really a sake fan, but last night's helping of Gekkeikan cold sake had me jumping in my DeLorean time machine to 1968 Burbank yelling, "Sake to me!"

***ROUND 1***

MOM'S WONTONS (Peached Tortilla): Shrimp and pork belly-stuffed wontons with soy peach bbq sauce.  

There wasn't much to this dish, but I really, really liked the peach bbq sauce and the tenderness of the pork belly.

                                Vs.

PORK BELLY NEGAMAKI (Roll On Sushi):  Grilled asparagus and green onions wrapped inside Dr. Pepper citrus-braised pork belly served atop shitake and candied bacon-fried rice with Asian slaw.

This dish provided a lot of complexity, but the pork belly was very difficult to cut through.  As in, I nearly requested a chainsaw.  Lots of flavors and bit of spice worked well together, but the Dr. Pepper sauce was too friggin' syrupy for my palate.

MY WINNER:  Peached Tortilla

***ROUND 2***

PORK BELLY DUO (Peached Tortilla):  (1) Braised pork belly, caramelized pineapple, cilantro and Chinese bbq sauce.  (2) Braised pork belly, Asian slaw and Chinese bbq sauce served in a Chinese spoon.

(1) This was my favorite dish.  The pork belly was tender, juicy and delicious, and the pineapple complemented it very well.  Sweet and savory.  (2) This dish was simple, yet typically delicious of Peached Tortilla. Had a nice, subtle spice to it.

                                    Vs.

BLTG ROLL (Roll On Sushi):  Togarashi-dusted bacon, romaine, fried green tomatoes, nori and sushi rice topped with homemade guacamole, red and yellow cherry tomatoes, and drizzled with wasabi aioli and bacon vinaigrette.  

The presence of guac irritated but did not deter me.  I was able to eat around it.  The bacon was a bit too hard (That's what she said).  The dish had a light spice to it, but no real flavor outside of the wasabi aioli and bacon vinaigrette.

MY WINNER:  Peached Tortilla

***ROUND THREE***

KRISPY KREME'D PORK BELLY (Peached Tortilla):  Krispy Kreme donut, braised pork belly, sweet Thai chili sauce, and finely-chopped bacon.

They kinda lost me here.  The sweet and savory flavors didn't match up too well on the first several bites, but it somehow came back strongly and deliciously at the end.  But it was definitely my least favorite dish of Peached Tortilla's three.

                                         Vs.

THE ELVIS (Roll On Sushi):  Peanut butter, bacon and banana wrapped in a crispy eggroll, served with chocolate and ancho chili dust.

This whole round really was a throwaway round for me.  I didn't actually eat this dessert.  I wanted to, but a possible banana allergy that I have yet to accurately test kept me from it.  Banana was definitely omnipresent in this roll, much like the Kardashians everywhere else.  So I gave mine to Nathan, and he gave it higher marks than the Peached dish.  Since I'd voted for Peached in the first two rounds, I felt it only fair to give this round to Roll On, especially since I was too chicken-shit scared to try the dish.

MY WINNER:  Roll On Sushi (but only sort of)

MY OVERALL WINNER:  Duh.  Did you really have to ask?

The actual winner in the contest overall was Roll On.

Eric Silverstein told me that he and the Roll On owners were sitting around drinking one night when they came up with this Iron Chef-ish idea, and put it all together in just a couple of weeks.  I told Eric that they should do this more often, with different featured ingredients.  Hell, I think other restaurants should get into this sort of contest, too.  It's fun for everyone, free advertising for the restaurants, and god damn is it a good value!

The tasting room is the size of most dressing rooms I've been in.  A young Kate Moss could barely fit in here by herself.

Quani, friend Scott and I walked in on a Friday, a good thirty minutes before the 4pm tour, to sample some beer.  The really good thing about this place is -- thanks to dumb Texas laws -- Real Ale can't sell you any beer on premises.  Therefore, you can drink, for free, as much as you want... within reason.

I'm not a huge fan of the beers they had available for tasting that day, but I found enough tasty ones to keep my taste buds occupied.  Yep, there was some Occupy Taste Buds action going on that day.

The tour was late in starting, but it was fairly interesting at first.  A good half hour into it, I wished I'd chosen more comfortable shoes.  My dogs were a-nippin'.  Wouldn't have mattered if I had a rawhide bone to give them, for they were already chomping on my phalanges and metatarsals.  And I never even knew those particular bones were made of rawhide.  I'm thinking a marrow biopsy may be in order, to figure that out for sure.  Or maybe I could just not be so stupid when picking out footwear for the day.

In any case, the tour seemed to go on forever.  I admit my foot pain was one reason I wanted it to end soon, but I was also fighting the clock to get back to Austin in time to make it to the Cherrywood event.  But I was also legitimately getting bored during that last half hour.

The tour lasted over an hour, and was met with a lengthy Q&A session at the end.  I was happy to do it, but I want to warn the rest of you to be sure you have ample time in your schedules.

One more note about footwear: The land out there is dustier than the Dust Bowl. Wear closed-toe shoes. Trust me.

My name is Catherine T, and I'm a bookaholic... and a coffeeholic.

You know when you sit down at a store and spend three hours reading an entire book, you've found a great place.  Good luck finding a chair, though.  Many other addicts hang out in this den of parchment drugs.

I tend to spend more time in the areas of Self-Help, Puzzles, Music, and Craft Books (crochet).  And then there's that frickin' Starbucks that sells soups, salads, sammies, and Cheesecake Factory cheesecake.  I almost fell victim to Starbucks today, but I managed to walk away clean, without the need to call my 12-Step sponsor.

Yet, I bought two books.  But they were both for my mother for Xmas, which means I'm still clean.  I think I'm getting the hang of this book-sobriety thing.

******2007******

EMPLOYEE WHOSE NAME I CAN'T REMEMBER:  "Can I help you find something?"
ME:  "I'm looking for replacement windshield wiper blades."
EMPLOYEE WHOSE... etc... :  "What's the make, model and year of the car?"
ME:  "2006 Chrysler Sebring Touring convertible."

[literally two seconds later...]

EMPLOYEE WHOSE... etc... :  "Boom!  Here ya go!"
ME:  "Aces!"

******2008******

ME:  "Some asshole dented my fender while I was parked at Hobby Lobby.  You got anything I can use to pull out the dent?"
ANOTHER EMPLOYEE WHOSE NAME... etc... :  "Let's take a look... I don't have anything here that can help, but I've got a contact who does fast, inexpensive work who can hook you up."
ME:  "Aces!"

******Today******

STEVE [I finally remember a name]:  "What can I help you with today?"
ME:  "Some ass-hat sideswiped my car a few months ago, stripping off part of the decorative trim.  I finally wanna get off my ass and fix it.  Wondering if you have some sort of automotive superglue so I can reattach the trim."
STEVE:  "Let's take a look... Heavy-duty double-sided tape is what they originally used to attach this."
ME:  "Do you sell that here?"
STEVE:  "Yep.  Let's go inside."

[Steve holds the door open for me, leads me to the appropriate aisle (the wiper aisle), and hands me a small package.]

STEVE:  "Five feet should be enough for that.  Be sure to clean the area first with dish soap.  It's a de-greaser, and that'll help the new tape stick better."
ME:  "Aces!"

And Steve's cute, too!  But probably too young for me.

It's about time I drafted this review. I'm only the frickin' duchess now, apparently.

It's thanks to Melissa A's music trivia ROTDC that I discovered this place. Most of you know I'm a sucker for music trivia, so it's a sure bet you'll find me here every sssingle sssolitary SSSunday night.  And excellent jazz music follows on stage, too.  You can't find that just anywhere in Austin... except Elephant Club.  But I'd rather be skinny than an elephant.

I don't know how trivia master Darrin and bartender Chris know my name, but they know it nonetheless. And I'm apparently "The Ringer" on my team, according to Darrin. That's always a nice ego boost.

They're being nice enough to host a Yelp potluck this Sunday and host a special trivia for us.  But I don't think it'll be music-related; I heard something about being sure to read other users' reviews.  Too bad.  I would've loved to have seen all of you fight over who gets The Ringer on their team.

Thank gawd for name tags.  Without said tags -- combined with the lack of lighting and my poor eyesight -- and the addition of wigs, costumes and makeups, I wouldn't have known Gabriel H from Melissa A.  Sorry, but I just didn't recognize most of you with these particular variables working against me.  The only two I recognized without help were Tony B and Ashley S, only because they weren't wearing costumes or face paint.

I made a few new friends tonight.  Bob H in the "Walking Dead" sheriff costume (you're really hot, by the way), the other Ghostbuster (two more and we would've had a full set!), and Ian with the super awesome 1982-ish Michael Jackson red leather jacket.  Also, I saw the wonderful Javier D for the first time since about March 2010.

I asked one of the bartenders to make me something "pretty and tasty".  It ended up being something with vodka and a cherry.  I couldn't place the other flavors, and even the bartender himself couldn't remember what all he put in it.  He apparently made it up on the spot.  He totally deserved those dollar-per-drink tips I gave him.

The "Thriller" dance made me feel old.  Why?  Because I realized I hadn't actually done the "Thriller" dance since about 1983.  And I'm not telling you how old I was at the time, so stop asking.  I didn't study for this, and I was amazed, envious and humbled by the peeps up on stage who knew every single step.  

Edison C really impressed me with his matador costume.  He's another one whose name tag I had to eye.  I mean, the makeup, ya know??  How the fuck am I supposed to know who you are when you're wearing more makeup than I am?  But he looked great, as did the rest of you.

I made a poor footwear decision tonight, as I normally do, but my aching feet and I had a good time.  I'll be thinking of you as I plug in my foot-bath machine and hire a masseur.