Brian "The Dude Abides" F.'s Profile

Now I can't give an exhaustive review of this place or their menu, but I've brought my film club here a few times on Sunday evenings. With a very large group (15+), I called ahead to ensure they could seat a group that large. I also wandered in unannounced with a smaller group (8) and they seated us with no issue. I realize Sunday evening is probably not their prime time, but I wouldn't hesitate to bring my film club in there again. The service was attentive even with a large group.

The hot & sour soup is no better or worse than a couple of dozen other bowls of the soup I've had in the area. The real gem of the menu for me is their ma po tofu. While it doesn't appear to have any of the Sichuan ("ma la") peppercorn that produces the unnerving yet addictive tingling sensation, it's still an exceptionally well-crafted dish. I'd go so far as to say it's second only to the ma po tofu at Sichuan Pavilion on K Street.

I will admit the prices are a bit higher than the typical Chinese place, but I feel like the quality merits the prices. City Lights of China doesn't hit it out of the park, but I'd describe this place as a solid ground rule double.

Not quite a 5-star review because of a few quibbles, but overall one of the most satisfying dinners I've had recently.

Went there for an EARLY reservation with the girlfriend-type recently, because we had tickets to a show (the In Series pocket opera double-bill Barber & Barberillo). Luckily, our reservations were very early, because we weren't seated on time. I understand places get backed up, but this was like 5:30 on a Saturday evening. That didn't bode well for those holding 7:30 or 8 o'clock reservations.

The goods:
- The pork belly & cracklin....I wanted to climb on the table and make love to it like Jason Biggs did to the titular pastry in American Pie. Holy cow! I heard the footsteps, the bass kick in, the engine start and tires squeal, and I felt like I was transported into a video for Roxy Music's Love is the Drug when I took my first bite. The succulence of the pork belly contrasted by the crunchiness of the cracklins, but both overwhelming in their "pigness"
- The sticky toffee pudding - the stout ice cream offers just a hint of savory to blunt the nearly overpowering nature of its companion.

The bads:
- The salad prior to dinner was nice, but ultimately forgettable.
- The bartenders...they didn't seem to be particularly well-organized or motivated. They seemed to expend more energy in making a show of doing Five-Hour Energy Shots than waiting on customers, and one of them made a comment along the lines of "270 reservations tonight and 2 bartenders". Not so professional there, guys.

The uglies:
- Not being seated on time. If you're already backed up at 5:30, it's going to be a looooooong night.
- The tab. This place is a wee bit pricey for what is self-described "gastropub" food. Luckily, we had a coupon, but this isn't someplace we'd frequent unless I land one of those cushy K Street lobbying jobs.

This place is like most Louisiana State quarterbacks - highly anticipated, full of potential, although hit or miss when it comes to accuracy.

The goods:
- Nobody ever says a place's waitstaff if their greatest asset, but these guys and gals remind me of the staff of many really good New Orleans restaurant. Have been twice in the last couple of weeks, and Giancarlo & Amelia have taken extraordinary care of my friend and me. This place is almost worth another star just on the basis of their staff.
- The appetizers are superb. Oysters Rockefeller, boudin balls that might be a sin in any religion, sashimi tuna over green tomatoes, and biscuits that'll make you want to slap somebody's mama.

The bads:
- The roast beef poboy just doesn't quite cut it. Can't quite put my finger on it, but I suspect it starts (or fails to) with garlic...as in not enough of it. I was always taught to insert slivered garlic INTO the roast before slow-cooking it. You know something is wrong when I enjoyed the turkey poboy with debris (the loose chunks of beef that fall into the gravy when the roast is carved) better than its roast beef counterpart.
- While I appreciate that the restaurant wants to stuff you like its your New Orleans-born, half-Italian mother, I'd rather the option of ordering the sandwiches a la carte or with a single side. A poboy and two sides is overkill like Expendables 2.

The uglies:
- The mashed potatoes. Even the debris in the gravy can't rescue them from mediocrity. How do you make bad mashed potatoes?
- The dessert menu is a little boooooooring. Once you get past the bread pudding, it's like the depth chart of an Arena Football League team.

I'll definitely be back, although I am depressed about the lack of a good roast beef poboy among the MANY Cajun/Creole/Louisiana restaurants in the area.

I'm a big fan of Dr. Ephraim's. I was sad when the building where his downtown office was closed for renovations, but I decided it was worth it to drive to Kensington once or twice a year to get my eyes checked.

The office decor, as with his downtown location, is decidedly mid-70s modern, but his demeanor and the rapport he develops with you are more important than whether he's updated his office furniture in this century. After years of having eye doctors prescribe overly strong contacts to me, he bucked that trend and I feel like my vision is a little better as a result of it. He stays abreast of the trends in contacts, and he lays it out for you how you should care for them.

Went there last Tuesday, rather against my will, to meet up with some college buddies. This has never been the best Hooters in the area, but whatever standards of QC that the chain employs have overlooked this location that God forgot. Apparently the oil has never been changed, as I can taste what they were frying when I was in high school (which was a very long time ago, indeed). Additionally, the cooks are clearly not Southerners, as deep fat frying is in our blood. Toddlers are given a Fisher Price Food & Fooshball Deep Fryer & Crawfish Boil set when they're old enough to walk, and real Southerners instinctively know by how the oil looks and sounds (yes, sounds) when it's the proper temperature. I've never seen a table of men leave wings behind before, but these wings were Exxon Valdez oily.

In a just world, Hooters Corporate Office would simply implode this location, fill the hole with concrete, pave over it for all time, and vow never to speak of it again.

Mellow Mushroom is less a chain than the outposts of an almost cult-like family of restaurants that populate mostly Southern college towns. Mention the 'Shroom to anyone who went to school in a town where the cult was recruiting followers, and you'll inspire a glossy-eyed reverie not unlike a Better than Ezra song.

The pizza is pretty good, although it defies easy categorization into one of the many families of pizza. You can't go wrong with sausage and anything.

The hoagies are also pretty good, although they can be a bit hit & miss. The Italian and Steak & Cheese are good, but with unbreaded chunks rather than a breaded filet the Chicken Parm sandwich is underwhelming.

They also feature somewhere in the neighborhood of a googolplex of beers, and if you drink 1 of every different variety you get your name on a plaque...or a trip to the champagne room...or something.

Save those receipts! If you go online and fill out a quick survey, you get $5 off your next 'Shroom trip.

The girlfriend and I wandered in here for a quick and inexpensive bite before grabbing a drink with a friend. I had the rice noodles with chicken, and the girlfriend has the fried rice with jerk chicken. We went for a pair of sides, the plantains & the sweet potato fries, except they were out of the latter. So I went with a beef patty instead.

The Goods:
The rice had a nice kick
The beef patty was hot & tasty

The Bads:
Not a big fan of big chunks of celery in anything. Dice it up, mon!
The rice noodles didn't have much of a kick

The Uglys:
Serving sizes were a little spare. The rice & noodles didn't look that impressive for their nearly $9 price tags, and the plantain side was 4 pieces of plantain.

Will I return? Probably, just to give something else on the menu a try? Will I race back there, all Usain Bolt-like? Probably not.

I gave this place a bit of a wide berth it opened to give the restaurant time to get over the jitters, to allow the staff to familiarize themselves with the intricacies of New Orleans cuisine, and to avoid the crowds and slow service I read about in other reviews. I probably shouldn't have bothered.

My server was very enthusiastic and service-oriented, but clearly was not terribly familiar with which way was up. After verifying the chicken and sausage gumbo wasn't made with seafood, I ordered a cup, only to be told that they only had bowls. So I then ordered a bowl. I also ordered a roast beef poboy, and asked how the sandwich came dressed (in Crescent City parlance, what toppings come on the sandwich). The conversation went something like this:

Me: What comes on the road beef poboy?
Waiter: Uh, lettuce & tomato.
Me: And mayo?
Waiter: Uh, yeah, a spicy mayo.
Me: Do you have regular mayo?
Waiter: Uh, I don't know, I think so, let me check. Do you want to request that if they have it?
Me: Yes.

So I wait...and wait....and WAIT......AND WAIT (!), wanting to give the gumbo a spin. Luckily, I have a shiny new iPhone to entertain me, and I wasn't starving or particularly in a hurry. The rumblings of slow service are proving to be prescient.....and then my entire order comes at once. Bowl of gumbo, roast beef poboy and fries. Le sigh.

Let's start with the gumbo, since that should have been my starter and NOT a companion to my entree. Thin, wan roux - Cajun Experience has a much better dark roux. Flavor wasn't bad, although I ended up having to remove two of the chunks of chicken from my mouth, one for having something unchewable attached, the other because there was a BONE in the chicken. Double le sigh.

The roast beef at least looked sorta right....enticing but sorta sloppy, like that cute coed who's had a Jaeger Bomb or 6 too many. But that's where the rightness ended. The beef did not taste like it had been roasted in-house and carefully sliced before being dropped into a pan of homemade gravy and then lovingly draped onto a fresh New Orleans French baguette. No, it tasted like I took a package of sliced roast beef, emptied it into a pot full of canned gravy, and then made a sandwich of it on a hoagie roll.

The ambience is OK, although I do think they go a bit overboard with Louisiana music. Some Subdudes or Meters would be a nice complement to what seemed to be a never-ending Dixieland jazz and brass medley. This joint, like the décolletage of most reality starlets, looks good from far but seems somewhat less than authentic when viewed up close.

I have to give it to the team running this place - they played the cards dealt them. After the neighborhood successfully campaigned to deny their (already approved) liquor license application, they rolled with the punches and went BYOB.

How to describe this place? High-brow take on a comfort food/Indian fusion? Tasty burgers, good Indian-inspired appetizers and entrees, and numerous choices for the vegans, that Hezbollah-like offshoot of the vegetarians (Bourdain's words, not mine).

The mural of native Baltimoreans is a little gothic and weird, in that even the recognizable celebrities look a bit like their zombie counterparts. Otherwise, the ambience is lovely, stained concrete and hard woods fitting of Charm City.

This is a place for those who are nostalgic, fauxstalgic, or otherwise just dig those joints of yesteryear. It's a great big, shiny diner with 1400 different breakfast combinations, plus the requisite greasy spoon lunch & dinner menu. Perhaps the most compelling thing about this place is the pastry case, filled with dinner-plate sized cookies, turnovers, eclairs, and other such goodies.