Robert B.'s Profile

As a disclaimer, I should say that I have severe disdain for people who act like @ssholes because they are members of any sort of social sub-culture and another person is not.  That goes for guys in frats, computer nerds, biker gangs and triads to name a few.  You get my point though.

For our one-year wedding anniversary, my wife and I decided to get our respective names tattooed on our respective bodies.  Just to give you an indication of who we are, my wife decided on "Robert" in ELVISH on her ribs, and I decided on "Megan" in binary across my chest.  So you get it, we are nerds.  

Anyway, a friend of mine here in Chicago said we should go to Tattoo Factory.  She told us that she had went with two different girls and that it went smashingly -- the tattoos were executed to perfection, the venue was hip/rad, and it was an overall good experience.  On that advice, we called the TF weeks in advance to let them know what we wanted and they said we could just walk in.

On our anniversary, my wife and I went.  As we walked from the L stop, the neighborhood was appropriately shady, with homeless people and gang members scattered throughout, so I was confident we were going to have a quality experience. I was wrong.

As soon as we walked in, we were greeted by a strangely vaudevillian woman at the front desk.  She was nothing short of rude, as I told her we had called ahead, gotten the OK, and were now here for our tattoos.  She informed me "yeah we do that" then walked away.  

A few moments later, one of the shops artists greeted us.  And by greeted, I mean, he completely checked out my wife, looked at me like I was captain of the Jock's and we were on the set of Grease, and then proceeded to tell me that my ONE LINE OF BINARY CODE was going to be $250.  Now, I have 4 tattoos (none of which are visible with a shirt on), so I know how much a f*cking tattoo costs, and what the pricing is based on.  However, he made it instantly apparent through his sneer and auto-gaze that he thought I was some kind of  tool bag who he could rip off.  I am not going to put him on blast -- because everyone has off days -- but when I met him he was not professional as he instantly identified me as "the man" with whom he had severe issues with because I had a white t-shirt on and no skull tattoos on my neck.  

Now, I didn't want to make a scene with the guy who obviously thought I was an idiot, so he then quoted my wife at a price of $20 LESS THAN THEIR MINIMUM CHARGE and gave her a free T-shirt.  I should say that my wife is hot and I have gotten used to these type of guys acting like i'm a prototype stockbroker, but it gets old.  

Anyway, the work was fine, and honestly if you put a tattoo of Anwar Sadat on my wife she would make it look sexy, but the overall experience of going to a place where you are treated like a piece of conformist scum BECAUSE YOU DONT HAVE ANY VISIBLE TATTOOS is just ridiculous -- I mean isn't this the tattoo parlor the entrance to the secret club?!?  It's also sad.  For them, not me.

All of that said, I did get my wife's name tattooed -- at Metamorphosis in Wicker Park.  It was the complete opposite experience (I will be writing a review of them) and the artist I worked with "Nexer" was dope.  Also everyone at Metamorph was friendly, professional and all-around cool.  Unlike these fools who apparently missed the memo that being cast as a member of the Sharks at Steppenwolf wasn't a full-time immersion gig.

In summary:  If you aren't a hardcore member of a street gang, biker gang, or a seedy sub-culture avoid this place.  Oh, also if you aren't a hot girl.

So, after visiting the Lincoln Park Conservatory (ferns! orchids! ... more ferns?) as the first stop on our Mother's Day Extravaganza with my wife and her mother, we were faced with a decision: Where to for lunch?

We tossed around the normal Mother's Day spots (Topo Gigio, Bistro Margot, etc.) but my mother-in-law is not the normal Mother.  She is awesome.  She loves beer, traveling, food, wine, and most importantly me.  Armed with this knowledge, I volunteered the Blue Bayou.  I explained that it was a great little cajun spot with a ton of really great food and bee---but before I could finish "beer" she said "i'm in."  Easy enough.

Now, we have been to the Blue Bayou a few times before and have never left disappointed.  This time however, it was even better.  There was a live jazz band playing in the corner.  There was a massive brunch spread.  There were $3 Purple Haze Drafts and $6 Bloody Marys.  It was busy but not packed, and loud enough to make you feel happy.  Simply put, the vibe was great.

Which brings me to the food.  We all started with an order of Fried Pickles (yum).  Next we had an order of Fried Green Tomatoes (fried. woohoo.).  After dousing each of these with house made remoulade (delish), we hammered them.  Next, my wife and her mother split a fried shrimp po'boy and I had a crab cake dinner all to myself.  Now, I can't speak to their food (as they didn't share!) but it was gone quickly.  As for my crab cakes, they were awesome.  They were drizzled with house made creole honey mustard, and sat atop a bed of rice pilaf (which was very good).  I have only recently got into crab cakes, but these were the best I have had so far.  Crunchy on the outside, crabby on the inside, and spicy enough to make eating them fun.  I would recommend them to all crab cake eaters.  I also, substituted steamed brocolli (??) for sweet potato fries.  These fries were probably the best thing we had the entire day.  GET THEM.

I would recommend the Blue Bayou to anyone -- anyone who loves tasty food and an uncomplicated creole atmosphere.  There were over 15 beers on draft (and another 15 Atleast in bottles) and the food was excellent.  Based on their special board they have drink specials every night ($3-$6 range) and even a Burlesque show @10PM on Thursdays (note to self: check this out).  In short, the Blue Bayou is an uncomplicated outpost of joy in an otherwise boring (read: southport) food neighborhood so if you are in the area you should definitely give it a try!

Hot Chocolate is my wife's favorite restaurant in Chicago.  I have to admit, it is not mine.  That said, it is undeniably special.

On this visit my mother-in-law came with us.  I know, I know "your mother in law!" but she is great so it was an added bonus.  Anyway.  Point being this fact didn't detract from our visit and shouldn't affect my rating.

To start we each had drinks.  I had this delicious/refreshing/lovely alcoholic Arnold Palmer, my wife a glass of pinot grigio, and my mother in law a bottle of their white ale (I told you she was great!).  Everyone was happy.  

For our first course, the ladies split a mixed green salad with a blood orange vinaigrette and a baked cheesy pretzel with whipped mustard butter.  Before I fill you in on what I had, let me tell you.  Try whipped mustard butter if you can.  Bathe in it.  Put it on anything you can.  Unreal.  Myself, I started with a pencil asparagus salad with crispy pork belly, a poached duck egg and frisee with a vinaigrette of some sort.  It was bomb.  I love poached duck eggs and asparagus.  And I really love pork belly (who doesn't?!?).  And overall it delivered magnificently.

After our first course everyone concurred "I am so stuffed".  This all changed when our meals came.  Myself, I got a cheeseburger with aged cheddar, applewood bacon and a garlic butter basted pretzel bun.  I have gotten this particular sandwich many times and love it.  I would recommend it to anyone who loves freedom, meat and awesomeness.

My wife and her mother split the grilled cheese and the mac&cheese (they hate cheese).  My wife is a vegetarian and has attempted to duplicate each of these items at our home base countless times -- point being, she loves them.  Now I don't love the GC like she does, but the M&C is something entirely different.  Imagine if you could somehow creamify love and add cheesy, then bake it.  Ok, now that you have imagined it -- eat it.  Now you know.

For dessert we all split (we were STUFFED) the hot donuts with dark chocolate dipping sauce and caramel corn.  This stuff is a whole 'nother level.  However, we have tried probably 5 different desserts at hot chocolate and everyone of them is like this.  If I am not mistaken the exec. chef here was a Beard runner-up for desserts so this makes sense.

Overall: Wonderful.  The food is a little pricey but you can go on http://Restaurants.com and get gift certificates ($25/off) so it becomes more reasonable.  I would advise everyone to check it out.  It is hot. (and chocolately).