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1718 Placer St
Redding, CA 96001

Wilda's Grill  

Category: Sandwiches

5.0 star rating
Update - 12/15/2011
Quick update:  The freakin' Buddha Bowl, man.  Yowzah.

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  • 5.0 star rating
    11/18/2011

    I was in the neighborhood, hungry as a bear coming out of winter torpor, debating whether or not to break my recent moratorium on buying my lunch at local eateries.  Driving down Placer street, I spotted Wilda's on my right and decided to give 'er a try.  

    I ordered the hot pastrami sandwich. Must...... fight....... desire....... to....... return........ tomorrow.......... for............anoth er.

    The space where Wilda's Grill is located has turned into kind of a start-up incubator for downtown lunch joints. It's tiny, and the place was packed when I rolled in at about 1:30 -- I can't imagine what it was like at noon. Soon enough the owners will have to decide how they're going to deal with the pressure to move to bigger digs. Expand, or stick with the hipster food cart (sans wheels) model? If they move, maybe I'll open a Mexican/Korean-fusio n place there next.

    Nap time.

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2471 Athens Ave
Redding, CA 96001
(530) 247-7063

Shamrock Cafe and Creamery  

Categories: American (Traditional), Ice Cream & Frozen Yogurt, Sandwiches

4.0 star rating
11/14/2011
Teacher Lady and I got midway through our weekend town errands before coming down with a symbiotic case of The Hungries, and decided to try Shamrock Cafe based on its proximity to our next errand (a trip to Orchard Hardware) and also on the favorable Yelp reviews......in spite of the low values I generally place on the opinions of other Yelpers ever since someone posted the first In-N-Out review and the shambling hoards of In-N-Out zombies started cranking out scores of 5-star reviews by pounding their foreheads against their keyboards.  

TL and I split a Reuben sandwich, which came with a small bowl of cole slaw.  It was good.  I don't think it was as good as Carnegies' Reuben, but it was just fine.  The ambiance is a 1970s version of a 1950s soda fountain.

Shamrock is also a creamery and looks like a good place to get an ice cream fix. Alas, sitting near us, a couple were silently and joylessly steam-shoveling through their fudge ice cream sundaes of shame and regret.  It wasn't exactly inspiring.

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501 E Cypress Ave
Redding, CA 96002
(530) 223-2820

Lumberjacks Restaurant  

Categories: Diners, Breakfast & Brunch

1.0 star rating
10/15/2011
I've been to Lumberjacks more than once.  Most of you know what Lumberjacks is all about:  For a modest price, you get a gigantic greasy gut-bomb of a meal that should cover your caloric intake for the next three days.  

Whatever.  I love diner breakfasts.  If you're a teenager with the metabolism of a hummingbird, an ultra-marathon runner, or a recovering anorexic, knock yourself out. It's something that I might indulge in a couple times per year, but I'd die within five years if I ate at Lumberjacks regularly.  

My beef is that someone with a business interest in Lumberjacks is conducting a campaign of creating fake Yelp reviewers -- most have profile pictures featuring comely bikini-clad woman gleaned from Google Images to attract your attention -- and each fake Yelper features approximately seven 5-star reviews of various Lumberjacks locations, with no other reviews.  These fake reviews are mostly one sentence long.  They serve no purpose other than to artificially inflate Lumberjacks' overall average star rating.

Here's an example:  http://www.yelp.com/us...

Lumberjacks is basically saying that its customer base consists of a bunch of stupid, gullible rubes.  If they're that dishonest with their current and potential customers, who knows what the fuck they're doing in their kitchen? (Use your imagination, or rent "Fight Club.")

If Lumberjacks' contempt for us doesn't bother you, enjoy your gut-bomb.

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1325 Eureka Way
Redding, CA 96001
(530) 241-4535

Clearie's  

Category: Lounges

5.0 star rating
Update - 10/7/2011
Teacher Lady and our kid took me here for dinner.  My birthday dinner, to be exact.

I'm awarding Clearie's that fifth star, with no reservations.  I'll admit that I was a bit wary of how the service would pan out, based on my readings of other reviews -- and make no mistake, the service has room to improve -- but it wasn't anywhere near as amateurish as another recently opened local eatery.  No worse than adequate, and mostly very good.  (The biggest glitch came at the bar, where I ordered a pale ale and out came a lager, which I thought was Bud upon seeing and tasting.  The cocktail waitress tried to convince me that it was just a light pale ale, but she comped the beer. Turned out to be Longboard Lager -- they didn't have a pale ale on tap.)  At any rate, I'm confident that the service is getting better.

Don't ask me why, but I honestly hadn't expected the food to be as good as it was.  I ordered the sweetbreads and mushroom saute over polenta, and it was delicious. My kid's grenadene of beef was perfect.  TL's lamb with smoked ragout -- though the lamb was just a tad bit overdone -- was also delicious.  

We chatted with the chef toward the end of the meal.  I'd expected a recent graduate of one of the culinary schools in SF, but he's a guy who has been paying his dues for at least a decade and is taking advantage of the opportunity, and clearly loves what he's doing.  I think his is the most ambitious menu in Redding (sorry, Che), and he's pulling it off.  

Clearie's comped our banana creme brulee (mmmmmm) on account of it being my birthday, and then told us that some friends at a nearby table had picked up the tab for the entire meal.  Really, I can't remember anyone doing such a nice thing for me in all of my years in Redding, other than the time my buddies helped me paint my house.

Sorry about ordering that second bottle of wine, friends.  Cha-ching!

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  • 4.0 star rating
    9/26/2011

    I'm holding a star in reserve for later use -- we stopped in to have drinks after having dinner elsewhere, and haven't eaten in the restaurant yet.

    The lounge area is intimate and tasteful.  The crowd is middle-aged and Redding-upscale -- some of the town's Usual Suspects were noticeable around the bar.  We ordered a round of drinks -- whiskey sours for most of us, which I recommend.  The bartender mixes his own sweet and sour, and it's good.  

    One of my buddies -- whom I'll refer to as "Gaylord" to protect his anonymity -- ordered some kind of a peach martini with fruit and dry ice in it that was an absolutely gorgeous bubbling sweet girl-drink concoction of utterly pretty fabulousness!  All six of us, including Gaylord and his wife, lifted our glasses to my toast:  "September 24, 2011.  The night Gaylord, in the lounge at Clearie's, finally came out of the closet when ordering his drink. Seriously, it was about time."  Feeling liberated, he drank three of them.

    Back to that one star I'm holding in reserve......we looked at the dinner menu and they have a sweetbreads and mushrooms entree.  I can't wait to give it a shot.  Actually, I WILL wait, because I've been advised to give Clearie's another couple of weeks to get their back-stage act together, or be willing to tolerate some very long waits, but I'm REALLY looking forward to ordering those sweetbreads.

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1901 State Hwy 273
Redding, CA 96007
(530) 378-1110

Mary's Pizza Shack  

Category: Pizza

1.0 star rating
9/25/2011 First to Review
The salad was decent.  The pizza was mediocre.  The patrons ran the full spectrum of Reddingites -- from suburban professionals with perfect teeth taking their kids out for pizza after the air show; to the ridiculous douche-bag wearing the muscle shirt so as to best show off his "FUCK" and "LIFE" tattoos running lengthwise down his left and right triceps, respectively.  

The service was horrible.

Teacher Lady has used her discretionary editorial powers to make me delete the paragraph describing the service, as it would likely get someone fired.  Suffice to say that the untold story is disgusting and disturbing.  Afterward, our party of six had two options:

1.  We could all go to the restrooms in Mary's and purge in order to try to immediately rid ourselves of the pathogens.

or

2.  We could speed-walk to Cleary's and down three whiskey sours apiece in an attempt to kill the pathogens that were hopefully still limited to our upper GI tracts.  

I won't tell you which option we picked, and we'll be sweating out several possible incubation periods for a few more days, so I don't know if it worked.  If you're looking for pizza downtown, I recommend Maxwell's, unless you're trying to lose weight the hard way.

Regarding the guy with the "FUCK LIFE" faux prison ink on his triceps.  How hard is it to walk up and say, "Sir, you're welcome to come back and dine with us when you're wearing a shirt that covers your tattoos, which are inappropriate for a family restaurant."  You don't have to tell the guy, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve walking birth defects in this establishment."

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1712 Churn Creek Rd
Redding, CA 96002
(530) 222-6076

Sue's Java Cafe  

Categories: Bakeries, Coffee & Tea

2.0 star rating
Update - 9/17/2011
I'm selling some of my stock in Sue's.  I'm only selling two stars instead of three for the sole reason that Sue's and I have history.

For reasons I've described elsewhere, I'm a reluctant admirer of YAKS.   I'm put off by the cult-like vibe that lingers in the background, but I have to admit that they now provide -- in all three of their Redding locations -- the best all-around coffeehouse experience in town. They've now introduced pour-over stations for drip coffee. Does this beat going to a press pot and drawing your cup of lukewarm coffee? Yeah. It beats it like the large angry woman in sweatpants beating her kids in the toys section at Wal-Mart.

But the bigger reason for the two-star downgrade, after more than a decade of faithful patronage, is the omnipresence of Clothespin-Nose Guy.  Every time I've been to Sue's over the past couple of months, he's there in the back corner, ranting at his laptop, with a nine-inch clothespin-like object pinching his nose shut and sticking straight out into his line of vision, like an early-stage Pinocchio.  

I met Teacher Lady for lunch at Sue's yesterday.  She was waiting for me outside when I arrived, and said, "We need to go somewhere else."  Turns out she'd arrived a few minutes early and decided to use the restroom.  She opened the restroom door, and Clothespin-Nose Guy was sitting on the sink with his feet in the basin.  It was weird enough that TL decided she had to use the bathroom somewhere else, and so we left.  For YAKS.

I'm not returning until Sue's decides to do something about Clothespin-Nose Guy. He doesn't seem to be completely insane -- he comes off more often as an attention whore -- but it could very well be that he's crazier than a fish with titties.  I understand the conundrum this might pose for Sue's.  You don't want to be........insensitive to the mentally ill.  It would be hard to tell a crazy person that he can't just hang out in your coffeehouse all day long, and then be willing to back it up.

That's their business decision -- their hard choice to make.  I don't want to eat lunch or drink coffee in a place were I have to be distracted by Clothespin-Nose Guy every moment I'm sitting there.  That's my choice.

Listed in: Shasta County Grub and…

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  • 4.0 star rating
    12/5/2008

    I don't make it a practice to hate on Starbucks.  Among its other attributes, Starbucks gives its employees benefits, perhaps the most valuable of which to the young employees (though I doubt most of them realize it) is a 401(k).  And when you need to get your head right, Starbucks is always there.

    So I'm not pimping Sue's Java Cafe because it's the anti-Starbucks.  Sue's isn't one of those anti-establishment coffeehouses where you walk in and all the sullen hipsters give you that look that says, "How dare you impose your totally uncool presence on us."

    Sue's has new owners, but changes have been slow in coming.  Same house-roasted coffee, which is great.   The staff has always been friendly, and remains so.  The menu could use some periodic revamping, but the food is generally tasty and fresh.  Good soups.  

    The new owners have expanded on the policy of hanging the works of local artists on the walls.  They could stand to be a bit more discriminating -- some of the art looks as if the artists dipped their heads in paint and then smeared and banged their heads against the canvasses.   If that sounds "interesting" to you, I have an unclothed emperor whose clothes you might want to praise.

    Updates:  The artwork on the walls at Sue's has improved considerably, but the 401(k) plans of those Starbucks employees are circling the drain.

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1400 Pine St
Redding, CA 96001
(530) 242-6224

Taqueria Los Gordos  

Category: Mexican

5.0 star rating
Update - 8/26/2011 2 Check-ins Here
It's not often that I give a place a two-star bump.

Part of the reason for this re-grade is that I might have been cranky on the day of my original review.  That's a hazard of the trade -- don't know what to do about that, other than to keep the general promise of giving most of the local joints second and third chances.  I even went back to one local Mexican place on several occasions AFTER my lunch companion was served a magnificently huge cockroach in his Pepsi, which I noticed after he'd had a few swigs (must have frozen to death in the crushed ice machine) -- and the owner acted like we'd planted it there.

(I'm lookin' at you, Mexican restaurant next to the cockatoo aviary.  You know who you are.)

Anyway, the additional two stars are for the carnitas.  If you love carnitas like I do, make no mistake, these are the best in town.  Holy Madre Maria, these carnitas are good.  They're about half crispy, caramelized outer meat, and half tender inner meat. So rich in flavor that i feel woozy after trying and failing to eat a whole carnitas burrito. My youngest daughter is crazy for their carnitas too -- she sensibly gets a taco, which is going to be my future strategy.

We at lunch there a couple of days ago, and I dozed off at least four times at my desk that afternoon, drunk off my ass on magically slow-cooked, caramelized, sinfully rich pork.

Listed in: Shasta County Grub and…

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  • 3.0 star rating
    1/14/2009 First to Review

    So I'm half way through my chile relleno yesterday, and I'm thinking, "Buzz, maybe it's you.  Be fair.  Have you lost your taste for Mexican food?"

    Normally, Mexican food is among my favorites -- or I should say, in the plural, that the amazingly diverse cuisines of Mexico are among my favorites.  And Redding is bank-full of Mexican restaurants, with the flood of choices on the rise (Taqueria Los Gordos is relatively new, but it's the sister restaurant to the one on Churn Creek Road).  

    So maybe it's just me, but I thought this was mediocre.  The chile relleno was overly breaded for my tastes, the rice and refried beans were stock plate-filler, and the salad was nearly white iceberg lettuce topped with a nearly white slice of white-flavored tomato.  It didn't exactly send me to the moon.

    In Redding, given the competition, if you have lunch at a taqueria like this you should at least expect to walk out the door having spent around $10 or less.  I went over that amount by several dead first presidents.  

    On the upside, the place was spotlessly clean and the service was efficient.

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1135 Pine St
Redding, CA 96001
(530) 244-4600

Old School Restaurant  

Category: American (Traditional)

3.0 star rating
Update - 8/22/2011
I'm selling some of my stock.  Not all of it, but at least half of it.  

Here's the conceit: Times are tough, and people want comfort food.   I'm reading Anthony Bourdain's latest book -- "Medium Raw" -- and he describes this fad/survival strategy sweeping through NYC back in '08-'09, when the economic shit hit the fan. So Chef Cal, after discovering that upscale Rivers wasn't what Reddingites felt they needed any more, decided to give the struggling bourgeoisie what they crave to take the edge off of the harshness of the new reality......food like Mom used to make.

Problem is -- let's be honest -- Mom wasn't much of a cook.

Old School's authenticity is a little too authentic.  I like mashed potatoes now and then......but my own purple garlic mashed potatoes with the skin retained are a hell of a lot better than Mom's, and Mom's are better than Cal's.  The mashed potatoes that came with with my Cornish hen were so over-whipped and creamy-pasty that I wondered if they came out of a box -- any resemblance to the original potato was long gone. Creamed carrot baby food has more texture.  Buttermilk has more texture.      

Maybe Cal has a good idea.  Maybe what people want in tough times is good comfort food and good service without the bullshit.  They'll pay for a meal, but they don't want to pay an extra $5 for that flower arrangement over there.  If that's true, then Old School has the stripped-down part covered.  But I gotta believe people still want interesting food.  Old School's grub is trying way too hard to be unpretentious, and risks instead being just plain bland, or worse.  And the service remains erratic -- cloying and clingy one minute, and missing a beat or two the next (e.g., salads delivered with no offer of fresh pepper, like all the tables around you are getting).

A field trip to Nello's is in order for the servers......and Cal, you need to go hit Magpie in Sacramento and try everything on the menu to get a sense of how you do comfort food in this century. Before it's too late.

Lastly, if you're going to go with the school motif, you need to fix the "Writers Block Zin" on the blackboard behind the bar. The missing apostrophe sort of kills the scholarly vibe.........unless it's supposed to be an ironic, subversive statement about the quality of public education in Redding circa the early 1960s.  That would make sense.

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  • 4.0 star rating
    8/12/2011

    I'm giving Old School a solid B (4 stars), but they're getting a "teacher's pet" bump because I always have a soft spot for the new kid.  Old School hasn't been open long, and they're hopefully on their way to finding and nurturing their natural aptitudes.  I really want them to earn better-than-average grades in the space where the infamous "Chef Jeff" failed.

    Old School is located in the historic Pine Street School building (National Register of Historic Places #78000791) in what was the gymnasium -- hence the name of the joint.  I like what they've done with the decor -- they tore out the carpet to expose the old maplewood gym floors, and the motif is public school.  

    We've been here three times during the soft opening, and they're still using an interim, smaller menu.  Here's the report card:

        French Dip Philly Sandwich:  A
        English Pub Fish & Chips:  A
        San Francisco Crab Louie Salad:  B+
        Portabella & Three-Cheese Ravioli: B
        Bacon "Juicy Lucy" Burger:  C+
        Shrimp Carbonera Risotto:  C-

    Very good French dip sandwich and fish & chips, as was the crab Louie (I'm not sure it was fresh Dungeness crab, as another reviewer hinted, and neither was our waitress).  The hamburger wasn't bad; it just wasn't as good as, say, the burgers at Maxwell's.  The shrimp risotto was disappointing -- undercooked, chewy, mounded from a too-thick sauce. Too bad, because it was tasty.  (Risotto shouldn't mound up like a pile of mashed potatoes, as Anthony Bourdain schooled Josh Homme on "No Reservations" while whipping up a risotto dish for the band in Homme's Mohave Desert boy's club.)

    Old School fields an excellent draft beer selection at the bar.  Unfortunately, on the occasions when we've ordered pints, we've received the wrong beer on 3 of 6 orders. Last time we were in we ordered two IPAs and were delivered two porters.  Other than that, the servers has been attentive and eager to learn.

    Old school shows promise and has a potentially bright future, but it needs to focus a little more in class and work hard if it wants to earn all A's and get into Stanford.

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1327 South St
Redding, CA 96001
(530) 226-2920

North Valley Bank  

Category: Banks & Credit Unions

1.0 star rating
8/18/2011 First to Review
You guys all know Parking Lot Bitch, right?

You're circling around in one of Redding's many undersized parking lots, waiting for a space to open up.  A woman -- invariably, she's middle-aged or older, well-dressed and well-coiffed, dripping with privilege -- is getting into her upscale or luxury automobile to leave, so you stop to wait for her to pull out.

If she notices you, she goes into Parking Lot Bitch mode immediately.  Now she's got eight things to do, taking her sweet-ass time to do each one of 'em, before she's ready to throw it in reverse and vacate her spot.  From thirty feet away, you can literally smell the power-tripping pheromones that she's emitting from the pores of her skin, even though you both have your windows up and your air conditioners are both on recycle.  Nobody is going to make HER hurry her ass one bit, because she is the very center of the fucking universe, and what she's feeling right now is far better than sex.  Hell, it even beats being cruel to the $10/hr receptionist at work, or humiliating waitresses at the country club, just for the fun of it.

Today I'm first in line at this particular NVB branch, and the line isn't moving at all. Two tellers, and nothing is happening.  This isn't my home branch at NVB, but I'm here on occasion and the pace is typically glacial.  But mercifully, a woman finally goes to one of the teller stations and starts preparing to open a third window.

A few minutes pass, and a couple of the old fellas in line behind me fuck up.  They express impatience, right out loud.  And just like that, you can see it in her eyes.  

Instant Parking Lot Bitch.

Ten minutes later -- maybe more -- having now burned off more than 20 minutes of my day standing in the FRONT of the goddamned line, and she's still in Parking Lot Bitch mode.  She's even sporting a faint but obvious smirk.  I turn to the old fellas and say, "I give up.  Have a nice afternoon.  'Least it's cool in here...." and I walk out.  

Parking Lot Bitch.  The only consolation is that someone out there -- someone who isn't you -- has to live with her.

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1276 Churn Creek Rd
Redding, CA 96003

El Delicioso Burrito  

Category: Mexican

3.0 star rating
8/3/2011
I can't get on the 5-star "best Messikin food in Redding!" bandwagon with all y'all.  

Sorry.  

The burrito I had was pretty good (SoCal-style carnitas burrito, without the NorCal-style bean and rice filler), and the tacos were okay, but the salsa bar was pitiful. There's a lot of Yelp love for this place because the portions are huge, but huge doesn't mean "Wohoo!  As good as it gets!" in my book.  It means gut-bomb.  

Without trying very hard, I can think of at least three local restaurants, one or two taquerías, one burrito bar, and one roach coach that serve better Mexican and Cali-Mexi chow -- some a hell of a lot better.  That's not to say El Delicioso Burrito is bad, but it just didn't float my dingy.

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"I guess you think I'm kicking you, Bob. But it ain't so. What I'm doing is talking, you hear?"

Review votes:
1013 Useful, 1140 Funny, and 723 Cool

Location

Palo Cedro, CA

Yelping Since

September 2008

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