Paul "The Professional Fat Kid" d.'s Profile

This Cuban bakery has stolen my fat kid heart long ago with their mango mousse and fruit tart way back.  I've shared many a pastry with friends and such over the years.  I can honestly say they have some of the best pastries I've ever had in my life.  

If the lines out the door aren't a sign, maybe you should consider that some people will even buy wedding cakes from here.  Savory side here is good too, but is not as inspiring as their pastries.  

Bravo Portos...This fat kid is a life long fan.

I will say that I was only here for breakfast and it is conveniently located next to all the cruise ports.  This place is obviously a hangout for the throngs of Filipino and Indonesian cruise line workers that come to get a break from the ship.  Sadly, I did not get to try the advertised all you can eat Filipino and Indonesian food.  I got a Cuban breakfast.  Not bad, but not great either, properly earning it the "A-OK".  I would have given this place an extra star if it didn't charge FIVE DOLLARS for all day wi-fi.  At least the bathrooms were clean.

Another note...The bathroom is for paying customers ONLY!  I can't tell you how many people tried to use the bathroom for free by waiting for the owner to step into the kitchen.  Some people even bought coffee, then passed it to the people outside so it looked like they bought something.  Some people have no shame.

This place has it's ups and downs.  Some days, everything is on point, fresh and great service.  Then there are days where it's a little off, a bit frozen and can't find anyone to take my dirty dishes.  There are more good days than bad, but not enough to really grant it 4 stars.

I can only talk about one thing when I think about this place.  I cannot remember the name of the roll, but the fact that it had cream cheese and green bean tempura in it made me wonder why I've never thought of the combination.  I was simply perplexed, but in a good way.  I'm sure I'll have another star to give this place once I try another one of their unconventional rolls.

Now strictly saying, Yamato is a Japanese restaurant.  However, I must also say that it's a Japanese restaurant in WESTLAKE.  That means the white man has ripped out pretty much anything that's really Japanese in order to appease their palates.  Being that they're in Westlake, it means that they'll charge you $5 more for whatever you order.

Typical Friday night in this place is packed with high school aged hipster Beeber/Shawn White clones and girls that look like rejects from an OC reality TV show.  Apparently they're all here for a birthday, so it gets loud in here real quick.

The food:

American Japanese food, plain and simple.  It's not bad, but not great, hence 2 stars.  If it wasn't so expensive, I'd probably give it a 3 and eat here more often.  Sushi here is bleh...They like to do little $5 rolls hoping you order a dozen of them.  Service really depends on the night, but I will say that it's usually good.  Bad nights are REALLY bad.

Say "Hi" to all the hispanic Teppanyaki chefs.  They usually reply in the best Japanese they can muster.

Holy burritos and hot salsa.  Seriously one of the only places I eat in DTLA.  

The burritos are seriously large.  The combo burrito is 3 eggs, bacon, ham and sausage with hash browns and cheese.  

The salsa is some of the best I've ever had.  Probably the best part about it is that comes in a bottle with a speed pour.  A SPEED POUR!  You know that plastic/metal nozzle that allows bartenders to pour out of a bottle with no bubbles?  THAT THING!  That means I get a ridiculous amount of salsa on every eggy, meaty bite.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Professional Fat Kid, out...

I must say that the dozen donuts that my cousin gets me from here for everyone of my birthdays has always been on point.  I recently had to ask where they were getting the donut dozen from.  I didn't realize that they were going all the way to Cypress for them!  

Being a Professional Fat Kid, it's truly appreciated and I always make my way to this store when I'm in the area.  Just to make things clear, I :heart: maple bars....With chocolate stripes...

We all have been to a local batting cage during the summer.  The heat, the flies, the old equipment are all part of the feel to really being in a batting cage.

Not any more.  I have seen the light.  

Boost Your Average has INDOOR batting cages.  Now I can whiff in climate controlled environment...

If you aren't like me and are actually looking to improve your game, there are a ton of coaches and plenty of the newest equipment in their pro shop....

First timers also get a free token!

I asked for delivery to a place on campus literally down the street.  I had explained to the driver that I had just been in a motorcycle accident and cannot get off the couch, so if he would come to the door, I would have someone bring the pizza to me.  They said they could accommodate my request and would be there in 30 minutes.

An hour passed and I called back.  They said they didn't bother delivering the pizza because they couldn't find parking at a college.

I called corporate, and they didn't bother calling me back.

What's the purpose of having a customer service line if you don't really care Papa John's?

Okay...I've had to lay off the Professional Fat Kid monkier for a bit to make sure that I make it to my thirties, but when it comes to Korean BBQ, I'll proudly put the badge back on.

Tahoe Galbi is probably the best Korean BBQ place that I've been to.  The meat and appetizer list is the largest I've seen to date and they have the...

FIVE POUND CHALLENGE

on Monday through Thursday.

Yes...FIVE pounds of meat.  FIVE...

Now that I've covered quantity, I should mention that the variety of appetizers was large enough to cover the pickiest of palates. If you can't find something to like at this restaurant, move back to Middle Earth.

Did I mention it was all you could eat?  The Professional Fat Kid is BACK!