Shaun L.'s Profile

I will call this the review of my first time getting *anything altered for me* and will update.

I bought a classic Armani Black velor cocktail dress at a thrift store in Santa Monica.  It has that Edith Head feel.  Really as close to the dress that Rosemary Clooney wore in White Christmas.

Sans the ass pin.

It was ten bucks.  You heard me TEN BUCKS FOR AN ARMANI DRESS WITH THE TAG STILL IN IT.

Yeah I bought that dress.

Here is the thing.  That dress is nowhere close to my size.  I did not care.  It's a ten dollar frickin Armani dress.  My thought originally was simple "Hell...I will wrap this thing around my head if I had to and say it is an Aramni Head Wrap.  Christ...I will just keep it on a hanger and take it with me to events and say 'This is a ten dollar Armani Dress that I own"

My husband said "You can always get it altered"

I knew I would spend a hell of a lot more to get this dress to fit me.  So I went on a Yelp search for alterations.

Sunday I headed to a place called Eddie's.  Very nice people.  They took one look at me and then one look at that dress and went "Oh no no no"

Thank you Eddie's for something I already know.  I went out singing the song from Tommy Boy "Big gurlll....in a little dress..."

I started calling (and leaving messages) on Sunday for other alternations places telling them exactly what the deal was.

on Monday...the first callback I got was from Fernando De Manilla.

I tell the lovely woman on the phone my name.  I tell her about the dress.  She says they could possibly do the Alterations and gives me the times of operations for Today.

Today I head over to the store (which is in great close proximity to my home) with the dress in a bag.  I smile, and say "Hi..I think I talked to you on the phone"

Without looking for anything..she says "Hi Shaun!"

Five stars just for that.  You are a winner.  Nicely done maam!

From there she takes the dress out...does the measurements on me and we chat about a redesign to fit my fat ass.  I ask her about how much this is going to run me.

She says about 150.

WHAT! ?! Five stars.

She says she is going to call me if they need anything from the lead semstress (Who I think is Fernando himself).  I head off to the post office and get a call to come back in.

I see doom in my future driving back from the post office.  "Big Gurrl in a little Dress" starts humming through my head.  A guy going "Oh no, no no..."

I head back over and there is Fernando.  A dear guy who asks me to try to put the dress on.  The dress is small.  in my undies I show him how far I can get this dress on...which would be right around my thighs.  Yes.  It is a small Armani Dress...and in comparison to this dress,  I am Godzilla.

He rechecks the dress size to my measurements.  He then craftily draws the dress on a piece of paper (I'm a artist fangirl...so that was impressive) and tells me he is going to take it out and match the fabric as much as he can.  I joke with him and say "If you can put an ass pin on this like White Christmas...I will be impressed."

He knew what I was talking about.  WIN!

He charges me 160 dollars to do this.

WHAT?!?   Five stars.

They ask me when I need it back.  I'm in no hurry..but it would be sort of rock star to have the dress back before The Del Close Awards at iO West in Lost Angles on the 21st. (http://www.delcloseawa...)

He tells me he will "Call me next week"

WHAT?!?!  Can you give six stars to these people.

I don't know about anyone who has been here...but they were the nicest people in the world.  Maybe they like a challenge.  Lord knows this one is.

I swear on a stack.  If this thing is covered in grease marks and a big chalk line pointing to my private parts?  I will be stunned that this dress will even fit me.  Hell.  I only payed ten dollars and in my mind the most reasonably price amount for a complete alteration of an Armani dress going "Up in Size" instead of the easier "Down in Size."

Five stars for nice people, great customer service, reasonable pricing and a deadline that even stunned me.

More to come.  Pictures of the dress to come too.  If they pull this off...not only do they win?  But so do I!  :)

========================================
UPDATE:  Today I called up Fernando De Manilla to check on the dress.  They asked me to come in and try it on.

I'm a excitable little go go gadget, as I take a cab to the tailors.

I walk in and I see the dress hanging there.  Yup.  It's a lot larger and it looks pretty much the same.  HURRAY.

What they basically did was added some very similar material to give it a wonderful shiny feel to it.  The zipper was a little "Noodgy" but that can be easily fixed.

I put on the dress.  Yes.  It fits!  They are keeping it one more day to take in the waist to give me a full figured curve look.

I'm so goddamn excited, I can spit!  I made Fernando uncomfortable by saying I wanted to have his babies.

It's what I do.  :)

More updates to come.

I just moved here from San Francisco (see YELP reviews from SF) and a good friend who I happen to also improvise with suggested we head off to The Counter In Studio City.  He sends me the link here.

I always read the worst reviews *first* and they were all pretty consistent: The lack of service.  The overpriced meal.  The lonely lonely hamburger on the plate with no sides.  The wait.

But hey.  This was recommended by my friend, and it was his day out.

So into the Garmin with the addy from Hollywood to North Hollywood.  Easy to get there.  Parking is a cinch.  Love the parking you can pay for with a credit card (TAKE HEED SAN FRANCISCO)

I get there before my guest (12:30) and the outside was available.  The inside was fair...but I was seated with ease. (keep in mind...by the time we left it was pretty jammed pack.  Just know this is a hot spot in a hot area in Studio City).

My waitress was friggin awesome.  And she was funny as hell.  Great sense of humor.  Sorry. As a comedian I appreciate a good bit with a total stranger.  :)  It had to do with my spleen running all the way through my nose.  You had to be there.

With this the service was excellent.  She had wine on the table fast.  I ordered some Sweet Potato Fries.  They came out hot and fast with Sea Salt.  And arrived just in time for my guest to enjoy to  (Whatever you do...if your guest arrives after you and you are on the deck...don't taunt your guest to jump the barrier.  Yes.  Don't taunt happy fun ball)

I was suggested the Lamb burger.  I was really super tempted as the waitress recommendation for a red was very, very good.  But, I opted instead to fill out the form.

This was nothing new to me.  Please see the review on Custom Burger San Francisco (which was up the street from where I lived)

The food came out in a decent time.  We had water refilled regularly.  The music was not overbearing at all.  I sat below the speaker and it was at perfect background enjoyment.

I was served a second glass of that wine.  They did not even flinch when I pulled out the hostess cupcakes with the candles not supplied by them.

And the hamburger?  Well.  That was just plain damn good.  You seriously cannot go wrong with a hamburger your pretty much had "Made Your Way".  I asked my staff "Please don't make it bloody"

It was perfectly cooked.  You see...if you ask for what you want with some amount of kindness?  you get what you want.  

Granted I do agree that the lonely, lonely burger on a big white white plate makes the entire plating look shockingly sparse.  They might want to dress up that plate with..I dunno...splats of the sauce the customer ordered with some sprouts.  Or get some smaller plates.

The bill came.  It was 45 dollars.  This was for two burgers, two glasses of wine, a big ass thing of hot sweet potato fries and a sprite.  Look.  It aint Burger King.  Custom Burger cost about the same as The Counter...and hell..at Custom Burger you are lucky the waitstaff does not sneer at you when they bring your plate begrudgingly to the table hoping the guy with his pants around his ankles from 8th and Natoma does not wonder in to take a pee and ask if someone could remove the Robot Apocalypse from his butt.

It is four stars with one star off for the plating.  Everything else is golden.

Just don't taunt happy fun ball.  And make sure you get the waitress who knows your spleen runs up through your nostrils.

ComedySportz Twin Cities is awesome and hilarious.

Especially the chairs!  If I could only give an extra point for the chairs!

The San Francisco Improv Festival 2008 is please to announce this years lineup of ensembles locally and from around the country!

We are also pleased to also announce our "Union Square Stage" Hosted by the prestigious Un-Scripted Theater for three of our seven weeks!

Opening Weekend: July 10-12

The Purple Onion
ImprovBoston (Boston, MA)
ComedySportz (San Jose)  

The SF Playhouse Stage 2
YARNS (Austin, Texas)
The Un-Scripted Theater Company (San Francisco)

Week 2: July 17-19
The Purple Onion
Trophy Wife - IOwest (Los Angeles)
Revolving Madness (San Francisco)

The SF Playhouse
Storytellers Unplugged (San Francisco)  
The Un-Scripted Theater Company (San Francisco)

Week 3: July 24-26
The Purple Onion
The Uncle Ukulele Show (Minneapolis, MN)
Improv Cabaret with Mark Baratelli (Orlando FL)

The SF Playhouse Stage 2
Second Nature (University of Southern California)
The Un-Scripted Theater Company (San Francisco)

Week 4: July 31 - August 2
Cathcart & Olson (Chicago, IL)
Aye Diego (Boston/Los Angeles)

Week 5: August 7-9
The Purple Onion
Wing It Productions present The Election Show (Seattle, WA)
Get Up (Austin, TX)

Week 6: August 14-16
The Purple Onion
Silver City Pink (Los Angeles)  
SPF7 (San Francisco)

Closing Weekend August 21-23
The Purple Onion
Pale Irish Bastards (Los Angeles)
Oui Be Negroes (San Francisco)

For tickets and full line up go to http://www.sfimprovfes...

I'm a regular customer.

I originally started to come here to get my hair relaxed after I took out my braids.  Never a burn problem.  Always great hairstylists.  The first man was my regular person (yeah, you can ask for the same person over and over until they graduate) He was wonderful.  A few months later I did a photo shoot at Plush Studios...and there he was!

Now I go to get my hair "Thermally Straightened" (the new term for Pressin' out my head) and they always do a great job.  I also seemed to have become the person that every student clamors about to see exactly how to do this...as there are not a lot of clients with hair as knotty or as thick as my natural hair.

You see folks...THIS IS A BEAUTY SCHOOL.  They uh...are learning on the floor.  If you want exactly what you want or you don't have the time or the patience?  Come up off the money and go to a professional salon.

The products are superb.  I have gotten my eyebrows waxed and never left in pain.  My husband now goes and gets his hair cut there and he loves the green tea hair massages.

I originally found out about this establishment being on the TLC show Perfect Proposal as an improvised "Fake Bride".  The owner was part of the set up.  She gave me her card.

I always seem to have the luck of running into her and she gives me wonderful grief about my eyebrows.  :)

She is the queen of "Upgrading"  :)

Love you guys.  Mean it.

Dear Sparkles:

You are the only one who does not like The Onion.  But we love you anyway, with all of your faults.

Love and kisses,
Shaun Landry.

Now.

For me not to give The Onion Newspaper San Francisco anything but five stars after everything they have done for me here is just plain ass *rude*  No.  I mean plain ass rude.

It is pretty much like dissing your mom onstage when you know good and well the woman bailed you out for getting into a street brawl on meth and feeding you Chicken soup to come down and saying "I still think you could be president of The United States'

It is pretty much like burning down the house that your roomie let you stay in free of charge for six months to get over your meth habit.

It is pretty much like shooting your meth dealer in the head for giving you extra meth.

It is just rude.

The paper has cracked me up consistently ever since I lived in Chicago, and continues to do so now.  When you are featured in The Aristocrats?  You have made it in the world of comedy.  That is respect, yo.  When a newspaper entity is "Let in on the joke"

You Want A Piece Of Me? - by a pie
Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?
Robin Williams Still Missing After Three-Day Free-Association Binge

That ladies and Gentlemen, is just funny to me.

Long live The Onion.

More Cab Service, please.  Besides that...I like you.

And now the shameless plug.

Hosting The Onion's Broken Resolution Party. January 12th 2008
http://www.mighty119.c...

Go.  Go NOW.

Three stars: The retarded  proximity.  I live literally a thousand or so feet from the joint.

It's good.  It's good food.  And you CAN ask how to have your burger cooked.  I have even ordered a glass of wine for the wait to get the food to me in the bags.  The Sweet Fries Rock (and YOU CAN ASK FOR THEM WITHOUT SEA SALT).  

The thing that kills me about people who order is this:  You never ask.  *ever*  You know what kids?  If you just ASK they will make it the way you like.  Hell, you are walking into a joint that gives you checkmarks on how you like your food.  I'm sure if you WRITE it down or tell the CHECKOUT person you will get your food the WAY YOU LIKE IT.

Don't take stars off because you don't know how to ask for your food.  That is pretty much YOUR FAULT.  Take points off  for shitty service.  Take points off because even though you ask what for what you wanted?  It still taste like POO.  Takes points off because the food is just too damn expensive.

Two points off for the latter.

The food is just too expensive for anyone who is not living in the hotel for a weekend and instead lives a thousand feet away.  I have seriously contemplated this now that it is established and open:  Spend 30 bucks on two burgers to walk home being a few thousand feet away...or walk the block and a half up to Burger King on 9th.

It's a beautiful establishment, filled with super nice people and great service and food...built for the people who are residing above them who don't wish to venture out beyond 7th Street.  I LIVE a thousand feet away from the place.  I know my hood.  All too well.  The price keeps people who live around the area OUT.

Shame.  I have the cash to pay for it.  But not on a regular basis.  I will deal with Burger King or make my own gourmet burgers and use them for special occasions.

This year started off without me having to pack to go to a funeral.

So far, so good.

Maybe they have changed it chefs since 2/17/07....but I will tell you this:  The times I have been there?  The food has been incredible.

I did a show at The Actors Theater last night.  I have been to this theater numerous times doing improv for The Santa Cruz Improv Festival and then yesterday for An Evening with Landry and Bodden.

I'm a food freak.  A wannabe chef and in the camp that one of the few good things in life is what you put down your gullet.

Myself and Bodden arrive in town around five.  The last time we ate was at Reds, where the food was divine.  The Shrimp.  The well cooked steak.  This time we decided to forgo Reds and head down the drag of Santa Cruz in search of food that was not that expensive.

You see...you get what you pay for...as we ended up in a half pasta...half Sushi joint....and me struggling through possibly the worst food I have had at a sit down restaurant in years.  I mean Bodden was laughing as he saw me struggling through this meal.

Kurt:  You don't have to eat this
Me:  There are starving people in Afghanistan.
Kurt:  Then let them eat that shit then.

We make ourselves laugh over stealing other people's material.

After our show we turned a wonderful profit on performing.  We both had money.  You can get food at reds late.

Kurt: (to our contact from AT): We would like to go to Reds and eat a real meal (looks at me and smiles.  Thank you Bodden.  Thank you)

There is a star off.  The time before last we were there on a Sunday.  They had a Jazz ensemble and the atmosphere was chill, laid back...and had an older appeal.

This time it was Saturday.  there were more people in the couch area (literally laid out on the floor) than there was in the seat dining area.  And the music was loud.  Really loud.  But they were playing 90's to now music...that was perfect for the age range that was in there (fairly mixed for the 20-40's in you)

It is Saturday Night.  And Like Anu (see that review) this scene is for the young.

But unlike Anu?  There was a place where you could sit not by the speakers and have a nice conversation...a very STRONG Long Island Ice Tea...

And enjoy possibly the most well prepared Pork Loin rubbed with cracked pepper with Seasonal Persimmon and deep mashed potatoes with  a fresh salad at 11:45 at night.

The wait staff who helped us?  She was a sweetie.  What a nice girl.  And our service in a jammed pack place was superb.

Everytime I have been to Reds doing shows there?  They have been lovely and kind to me.  Maybe people with bad experiences either has had some extreme bad luck...

Or has never really wondered down the Santa Cruz and had really REALLY bad food.

*God If I could remember the name of the half Italian/Sushi/Ice Cream Place....  Oh they would be SO YELPED.