Shaun "Landry" L.'s Profile

I did not go to Hell's Kitchen.

Hell's Kitchen came to me in the form of Kraft Services.

Yesterday I was in Lake Elsinore shooting a pilot.  The night before I got the address of where the shoot was going to be and for snicks and grins did the Google "Virtual Drive" to the place.  During that virtual drive, I saw Hell's Kitchen.

From the name I went "Poor cats.  A biker establishment that probably has the sad misfortune of being around much longer with the original reference to Hell's Angels than the other reference to the Gordon Ramsey Television Show and being mistaken for it"  I came to the reviews here.

Driving there yesterday (with another Los Angeles Actor), we passed it by.  It looked pretty damn cool.  I said to him "We should just stop now and try it out"  Of course we couldn't as we had to get to set.  But the smell coming out of that place with the windows down were just too much. It makes that area of Lake Elsinore filled with win.  

Besides, we are getting Kraft Services for the production.  We are actors. Free food of course, is good.

We were shooting and lunch break was steadily approaching.  As we were sitting where they were going to set up...we saw the PA's bring in boxes of food.

And it was that smell.  That smell I smelled coming into Lake Elsinore.

"Holy SHIT...That is Hell's Kitchen Food!"  I blurted out.

"How do you know" asked one of the people who owned the home"

"Virtual tour.  We passed it up.  That smell".

They had their burgers and pulled pork and other assorted amounts of "This is amazing"  I had the pulled pork with the fries.  The pulled pork was in a sweet BBQ Memphis style sauce.

In the middle of the mountains of California on a set, I thought I was in Memphis Tennessee eating that goddamn amazing pulled pork.

I'm an urban girl.  Always have been.  Probably always will be.

Hell's Kitchen in Lake Elsinore makes you seriously reconsider living in a wooded area with knats the size of your head.  Sure.  I'd spray down my house every fire season if I knew that this place was close by.  

Please come to Hollywood.  We need you to offset the *other Hell's Kitchen*....Hell's Kitchen.

Yum.  Just goddamn Yum.

We are talking every internet term that can be used for the word delicious.  Yes.  this includes OH NOM NOM NOM!

I really cannot believe now that I live here in Los Angeles that this is indeed one of my "Neighborhood Establishments"  Then again I never thought I would be living in Los Angeles and especially right off of Hollywood Blvd.  My local establishments consists of Liquor Stores, Lingerie Porn Shops, Over glossed Tourist Shops with Fake Oscars and Winning T-Shirts (now 2 for 20! Get them now before you see them at a Flea Market!) and lots of velvet ropes with women squeezed like sausage meat into casings behind them, thinking a star is going to show up.

Which they never do.  My neighborhood establishments is the Hollywood version of Waiting for Godot (or Guffman...for comedy sake)

Anyway...

This place is not the over shined, over slick type of Sushi establishments that are precariously close to it on Hollywood Blvd.  My mind says:  Don't even write about how good this place is, because I'm afraid someone is going to put a velvet rope around it...and I would have to buy a freekin' "Sausage Dress" from one of the Lingerie Porn Shops just to have one of their very tasty Sushi Bowls"

But I can't keep to myself in sharing this gem the way it was shared by the friend who took me there for lunch.

I don't have to be anything in this place.  I don't have to impress anyone.  It's small.  The tables are close to each other.  And you get served quickly and efficiently.

The bowl I had was really quite amazing and the sushi itself was prepared very well.  I don't know about night...but lunchtime it was spot on.  What is also so very rare at Japanese establishments in the states:  There was not a fork in sight.  *I like that*  I like that a lot.

Even how the check came out the moment they cleared the table was amazingly reminiscent of when I was in Tokyo.  The great thing about this place?  It is blocks away from my home.

Oh.  I peeked at the bill (because my friend paid for the meal)  For two bowls and a Snapple, it officially is the best priced Sushi Establishment off of Hollywood Blvd.

I have found my new "Ladies Who Lunch" spot.  It's not Thai food? But it is a wonderful replacement.

I just wish it was a little bigger.  Just a smidgen.  Because god knows...I'm getting a feeling this place is going to be impossible to get in soon.  Because the food is really good.

Whatever you do Murakami...don't put a velvet rope around it.  :)

I'm going to preface by saying this:  I don't work there...I don't know anybody who works there and I will probably not go back as a regular as I do not live close to the place (I live in Hollywood)

I was there for two words:  "Susan Messing" (go to The Annoyance Theater Chicago Yelp site.  She does Messing with a Friend. She was in town doing her show at Second City and teaching improv)

All right, lookit.

First off...I always read the worst reviews in chronological order first.  The worst has been these mythical "Sixty five year old waitresses" that reside there.  I was there tonight....and there was maybe *one woman* working the place that might have been that age.  And if she was...she was pretty well preserved.  That's Southern California...baby.  :)  

Secondly....you have never been to a dump if you have never been to Chicago or San Francisco.  This place was the Taj Mahal compared to to oh...Rich's in the heart of the SOMA.  

Low ceilings.  Sure.  I'm 5'10.  So what.  It did not smell like cheese and feet here. And trust me.  I know the smell of cheese and feet after living and entering a San Francisco Dive.

The outside of the joint?  Are you kidding me?  Sure...compared to the other "Nuvo Chic" places in Studio City, this place is a dump.  Lets face it.  This place frontage would be too fancy in a place like the South Side of Chicago...and at least you know your car will be there in the free parking lot in the back afterwards.

When I read the reviews I made sure I ate first.  I made dinner first then headed to see Susan.  I'm going to be honest with you:  It is a classic simple place with Led Zepplin out of the speakers and an awesome bartender from the suburbs of Chicago tending (who...was AWESOME)..but when I saw the food rolling out?  I'm glad I came there just to drink.  I mean if I didn't eat I would have ordered something...but you go there for the classic "Old School Charm"

And I was charmed.  The drinks are strong.  The back porch I could smoke on.  The Christmas lights cracked me up.  I liked it.  A lot.  I'm 46 years old as of August 3rd.  I guess for any 25-33 North Hollywood hipsters thinking this was going to be something different...I too could have been mistaken for sixty five years old.

I had wonderful conversations with not only the crew to see Susan...but random people playing board games, the staff and others randomly chilling.  It was a nice night out.  Where I ate at home first...and then traveled to Studio City from Hollywood to "Messing with a Friend"

I have a saying:  "When in Rome...don't act like Doucebag not from Rome".  Know where you are going.  If you are thinking Oyster House means "Chic Raw Bar"  you are so wrong.  Get in the car and head to West Hollywood.  Not here.

This place was a great time.  If I lived closer...this would be my dive bar.

The Pickles are key.

It's that cold and flu season time.  And I got the annual bug.  Usually when we take out around this time of the year I wish that it was like the old days where not only do they bring food?  But they also drop off to bring other things like oh...cold medicine too.

I jokingly said on my Facebook:  I should start a service called "Bring Soup"

Two of my friends (both improvisers, one from hometown of Chicago, known for the amazing Deli Belden's) recommended that I order from Jerry's Deli for the Chicken Soup.  Underneath it I said "Gee, I also wish they would also bring some Alka Seltzer too"

My friend Frank from Chicago announced "They do that too (or at least they used to)".

I'm in.  I'm so in.  

I called my husband to inform him I was ordering from Jerry's He in turn said he would be happy to order and pick it up when he got home.  

When he got home he was foodless and only had Cold Medicine.  I asked him what happened and he said "I ordered the food for 5pm delivery"   That's right.  You can *call the time of your delivery.  That is old school*

It got at our place in really nice Jerry Deli Bags at exactly 4:50pm.  It was impressive.  It felt like Chicago or New York.  Nicely done, Jerry's.

What was even more impressive was the mass amounts of food you get with your order.  My Kreplach and his Matzo Ball Soup was of huge four person party size.  Both was filled to the brim with noodles and fresh chicken.  I would have preferred that both the Matzo and Kreplach was not "One Ginourmous Matzo and Kreplach" but instead smaller ones throughout the soup?  But it was tasty nonetheless.  That chicken in the soup was pretty gosh darned good.

The Monte Christo Sandwich was ginourmous.  It was so much of it with oozing delicious cheese from the sides.  A monster container of cole slaw.  His meal of a grilled sandwich with Onion rings  was equally as "Mouth dropping huge" in proportions

It was so much food.  So much of it.    Being sick I got through most of the soup, and some of the sandwich.  The food was soothing, warm and tasty.

But it was those pickles I went through.  Those pickles were the key. I don't know where they get their pickles, or if they make them onsite or what?  But damn.  *Those Pickles were so damn good"

They deliver so much food, I'm surprised they have stayed open without going belly up.  But it seems they have been around for decades.  There is a reason why:  The food is so damn good, after you warm it up for leftovers for the next day...You think to yourself, "I can't wait to get sick, so they will come anytime you like and bring you massive amounts of Chicken Soup for the Soul and Cold"

You might even wish to try this food when you are not sick.  Really.  The Pickles are Key.

Know those barbie dolls from the 70's where you push the button on their backs and their hair gets longer or you can yank on the hair and you can make it short again.

Yea.  Well imagine that for me of late living in Los Angeles now.  I'm a friggin black barbie doll.  Sometimes braids.  Sometimes straight and short.  Sometimes Afro.  Being a black actress..at any given moment someone is going to ask me to do a 70's period piece.  Or a 80's period piece.  Or they want me to look like the wonderful woman who does the Pine Sol Commercials.

This also means casting directors and producers don't have much of an imagination when I tell them "I can take hair out" or I can put my hair back in"  They need headshots.  Of all of these looks.

With my braids currently out for a webisode this was a fine time to get professional headshots with what I lovingly call "Magic Afro"  I ran into Kim Mulligan on set taking publicity stills  for the web series.

It's not like I have not heard about Kim.  She has come recommended to be before, and I know her through improvisation and sketch comedy.  She is (for the record) *also amazing at that too*  I asked her onset if she was interested in doing my "Magic Afro Headshots"

She was more than willing.  We set up the appointment at my home for today.

She came ontime.  She came with equipment ready to go.  She came with a little stool.  We talked and laughed which made me immediately comfortable.  We took outdoor shots with my fro and she let me take a look at example shots.  They were amazing.  Just the *untouched, in camera example ones*

Her pricing is so reasonable for an actor and the quality of work is amazing.  With the possibility of completely screwing myself over?  She should *Charge more*  :)

If anyone has read my Yelp reviews I only write these sort of long reviews for something that has really pissed me off or something that everyone really needs to do.

This is not the pissy long one.

If you need your picture taken professionally for any reason for an event or to capture a Magic Afro.  You need to go to this woman.

She's not bad on the eyes either...so there is that too.  :)

I'm pretty good at long Yelp postings about how bad or good something is.

This place left me sort of speechless.  Don't think.  Just go.  Get the Burger stare at the walls and imagine that you are sitting in the booth John Wayne passed out in.

Thank you Ross for letting me finally use the phrase "Bleach Shower" in a comprehensive sentence.

Today, I saw a commercial proclaiming that Ross was having a 75% sale on Everything in its store.  

I sat, mouth agape, at these happy smiling commercials and remembered the experience I had not more than a week ago at the Ross Dress For Less on Hollywood Blvd.  I wrote a monster rant about it on my Facebook and decided to share it.  The rant is done in a "Dear Ross" Rant Style:
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(/rantonRoss) Hey Ross!

People have 75% off sales that usually have the words "Going Out of Business" attached to it.

So really Ross, if you are not going out of business, what the flying fuck with 75% off your already cheap ass shit that you need a a gas mask and surgical gloves to dig through and when you do find anything like clothes, you need to wash and fumigate before you wear it? Are you telling me I could be "Dressing for even Less" with these 75% discount prices on your cheap ass shit that fell off and got rolled on by the truck on a regular basis?

Will you just go .99 cents and get it over with Ross? Holy shit. The .99 cent store I went to a few months ago is at least organized. Great Monkey's Ass Ross!! Be who you are.

Stop showing me commercials of nice looking people in nice clothes. No. I want you to show me the squat scary lady who put on the pants three sizes too small without underwear on, ripping the pants and funking them up only to put them back in the mens shirt section...taking her cart with the cryng baby in it and bashing the persons legs in front of her with it, in the never never ending checkout line waiting another hour to arrive to the checkout person who doesn't know how to work the cash register.

You are NOT SEARS, Ross! You are a notch below an indoor flea market! (/rantoffRoss)
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A friend of mine commented on how she went to a Ross store in Dallas and it also smelled like Cheese, Feet, Old Sex and the slight whiff of desperation.  I pointed her to the Ross National Website of which there is a model standing happily with really nice clothes on that you would never be able to find at a Ross store unless by some odd freak of nature they are not buried under a funky pair of spandex.

I told her, in the comment section of Facebook: "I'm convinced that woman modeling took a bleach shower after that photo shoot if those clothes actually came from the Ross Store around my house."

So one star to Ross on Hollywood Blvd.  Thank you for finally letting me use the term "Bleach Shower" in a true comprehensive sentence.

Well Hellooooo  Hi Pizza.

I waited to write this review as we have been consistently ordering from these guys since we moved to our current apartment (a year).

My husband always gets the Calzone as the thing is the size of his head and there is always leftovers.  We just ordered the Meat Lovers pizza in small and he said in the middle of finishing it up:

Hans: This pizza is MEATY!
Me: Well one would hope if you are a "Lover of Meat"

The great thing about Hi Pizza is its not just about Pizza so I can order from the menu (I mean Pizza is fine and all...but its not my favorite thing in the world in general)

In the time I have ordered here, I have gotten the fish and chips, the BBQ and Fried Chicken, the Chicken Marsala and the Ribs.

The food is hearty and good.  It's not fine dining but it is not bad food at all.  It is something you would probably get at a pot luck dinner.  It's all good.  And man.  There is lots of it.  Lots.

May I also say every time we call they are always very pleasant, the drivers are always funny and cool and the food always arrives hot.

My last review I decided to try a different delivery and go for A Burger and fries.  That place was horrifyingly disappointing.  

Why I did not pick up a burger at Hi Pizza is beyond me. Lesson learned.  Stick with what you know that will always be consistent in service and food.

Your menu lives proudly on my spinner rack, Hi Pizza.

I had just come back from Tokyo with a gimpy leg from performing.  This place is not that far away from where I live so figured I would order some food from here to get some "American Faire"

I ordered a Mushroom burger with fries and a coke, my husband the cheese sticks, a piece of chocolate cake and a piece of carrot cake.

It took an hour to arrive. I could have taken my gimpy leg and gotten there by foot faster than how long it took for a hamburger and fries, plus an order of cheese sticks to arrive at the door by a guy who apparently does not know how to use a simple buzzer to walk to our apartment (my husband had to get our food).

This food probably would have tasted great about an hour before they delivered it.  But here is a tip:  NO fries taste good wet and cold.  Neither do hamburgers or Cheese Sticks.  It was disgusting.  The coke in the cup that came with it was the only thing that was somewhat warm.

The tiny square "Cakes" that was delivered looked like it was pulled out of the plastic where they bought it at the gas station and put into a plastic container for show.  My carrot cake had seen better days and had that taste of "Just about spoiled"

What was even more amusing, we asked that we did not get any plastic ware delivered to us via grubhub.  This fine banquet of crap came with plastic forks and napkins.

After my husband put at least the hamburger in the microwave to get it somewhat edible we just laughed and went:  "Well cross this one off our list"

This food would be great if you are drunk out of your mind, tweaking, or have lost all discernible taste from your tongue and just did not care.

Anyone else?  Welcome to food delivery hell.  The service and the food officially made me never wish to step foot into this place (especially after hearing about the service from other Yelpers here from the son of the owner).

Should have just went to South Korea for a Philly Cheese Steak last week.  Probably would have been better, and I was closer.

This food was so good it almost made me cry.  I saw the chef taking a break and thanked him when we left.  

The Shrimp appetizer.  Niagara Falls tears.  My plate of grits made with chicken stock were NOT my grandmom's grits.  Because if they were, they would be inedible.  It was her doing to make me not a big fan of grits.  This chef changed that for me.

The Beef made to fall apart sobbing.  I think we were all weepy as we were sharing our meals with each other.

The place was jammed packed that Friday Night (October 1st 2010)  in the front when we arrived (there was some big wing dig for some mucky muck political somebody from Philedelphia that I had no clue about coming in from Los Angeles) and our Martini Drinks (that we took pictures of they were so good and pretty) were a touch slow.  I totally get that, and it was worth the wait.

We were seated fast and when we informed the wait crew that two at our table had a show in a few hours, (we were all in town for DuoFest at The Shubin Theater)  they brought our food out speedy to accommodate us.

Super friendly service.  The food was make me cry Foodie Fan Good.

The kicker of it all was Saturday (October 2nd 2010) at a completely different establishment after my Show was where I randomly ran into the bartender.

Him: Shaun Landry?
Me: (sort of taken aback as I had no idea who he was and thought maybe he just saw our show) Yes? Hi.
Him:  My name is (the bartender of Chris Jazz Cafe) I just heard from a friend you came to Chris'  I'm the bartender.
Me:  Holy shit!  Your food made me cry!!  So did your drinks!

Turns out he is an actor also.  We stood outside and talked about Food and Theatre He gave me his card.

So folks, Go to Chris' Jazz Cafe for food and drinks...then catch the bartender doing Three Penny Opera at the Arden Theatre in Philadelphia!

Finally.  A place where I can write a great review and plug a theater show at *the same time*  :)