Kyle "the Mod" S.'s Profile

+ The kati and kabab rolls are 4 bucks. This is fantastic.
- The components are good enough but the naan is overbearingly insipid.

A solid three stars. I'll be back, just wont have terribly high expectations.

I immediately began to regret my decision once my empanada was pulled from a small glass display sitting on the counter. I had always assumed these were for storing pastries and other things that wouldn't benefit from being cooked and warm but no, this one was for holding my empanada at a moderatly lukewarm temperature.

I further regretted my decision upon using the ketchup bottle that I could only assume was filled with ketchup, resulting in what I think is best described as "vinegar with mixed with a bit of chilli paste and red food coloring" pouring out.

I further regretted my decision to come here when I immediately went looking for napkins to quickly remove the vinegar-chilli paste-food coloring from my hands as quickly as possible, finding no napkin holders or anything of the sort.

Available for my use was a stack of newspapers celebrating the Yankees' World Series win, and I guess I don't really regret wiping my vinegar-chilipaste-food coloring hands all over that.

If you've ever been inclined to drink in an old-world library full of scholarly leatherbound books and oil/canvas portraits, that also happens to be large enough for two bocce courts, this is the place for you.

I'm definitely coming back for the locally brewed Kelso Nut Brown and karaoke Fridays.

The food is delicious, and will leave you with thoughts questioning your integrity to any qualms you may have once had about food components ("oh crap, I've been forgetting that the dipping sauce is lard." "hmm I wonder how much intestine I just ate." etc.).

In addition to the Polish decor and ambiance (the knights' armor, portraits of kings, etc as described in the other reviews) you get the banter of Polish regulars around you,  and some stellar Polish rock playing overhead. This is pretty much like regular rock but with more significantly more flutes.

The Polish Plate will indeed have you feasting like a king. From your choice of sides the carrots and peas are heavy on the soft carrots; if you're into that fine but the flavor is a bit too much for me.

This is the single best food business I've stepped into, ever. This is not an exaggeration.

Even in passing the modern and attractively bright exterior will inevitably draw you in close enough for a good laugh at the snarky outdoor signage and give you a taste of what you'll find inside (of note: "We put the ipping in shipping"). I tortured myself with this for days before finally coming in. I had to settled for a brief witty quips describing what Rice to Riches actually is. (Rice Pudding: Approved by the Food and Love Administration.)

Once inside, there's no way to hold back from laughing at *everything* on display. I mean EVERYTHING. Every part of the interior is carefully crafted, and by someone with a deadly sense of humor. This includes the prominent display describing the employee pre-screening requirements for those interested in a career in the "fascinating, fast-paced, lucrative pudding business." Evidently only a select few endure the rigorous training environment, designed to simulate a variety of rice pudding related emergencies.

This includes the step-by-step guide on the right way and wrong way to eat rice pudding. The "one...Rice to Riches...two...Rice to Riches...three...Rice to Riches...four..Rice to Riches..five...Rice to Riches" method is recommend for pacing yourself.

It includes the variety of names. Here are a handful of favorites:
The Secret Life of Pumpkin
Qualified Lemon
The Corner of Cookies and Cream
Fluent in French Toast
Understanding Vanilla (?)
I'll Take Eggnog for $200, Alex

It includes the warning and health signage:
"LIMIT: 500 rice puddings per customer."
[illustration of a "doctor"] "Eating three sensible, balanced meals a day will only spoil your appetite for rice pudding."
"Take only as many napkins as you need, AND NO MORE!!! STORE SECURITY, GOD, AND SANTA ARE WATCHING YOU."
"LOW FAT F%&#@ THAT"

You will enter laughing. You will leave laughing. And you will not have stopped in between.

Oh also the rice pudding is DELICIOUS. Sample to your heart's content.

Meager sauce. The "$2 slice" special doubles if you want anything on it. I tried to sprinkle a bit of garlic powder to add some flavor, realized too late that the containers they put it in don't have 'sprinkle' size openings; 'pour a giant mound onto your already disappointing pizza' is your only option.

Good: open wifi, 24 hours. Plenty of outlets. Gelato at that perfectly melty consistency.
Meh: modern but uncomfortable seating.
Hilarious: analogous to some kind of Internet of Coffee, your beans and brew are delivered by an intricate series of tubes. See photos.

An excellent menu of both vegan fare and standard crepe/panini/breakfast/coffee/tea items as well. Plenty of good laptop areas - after only three days in the city I've already been to far too many 'coffeeshops' where people are staking out spots with hawk eyes on the outlets.

I went with the panini option, but will likely switch to crepe next time around; it got too dry for my taste after the first half.

Nice modern interior - cozy but with a good amount of seating for the weeknight crowd.

The major theme seems to be 'no cell phones,' judging by the subtle but plentiful signs, which is nice but doesn't really help when the two girls in the center table are going all on about their boyfriends at maximum volume.

Small but varied and well put together list of brews. Entertaining medieval murals depicting monks giving one last toast while floating on a piece of their sinking ship, salvaging whats left of water-bound casks of ale.  A house basket of chips [fries] and various condiments to go with your drink sits at the counter. Small and intimate, so on a weekday you're likely to end up in a friendly chat with one of the other 4 people there.

Stopped into this place when walking just off of Haight, grabbed a delicious honey almond coffee cake. So good I didn't waste any time finishing this review until now, 3 months later.