Gillian "You Name It, I'll Try It" S.'s Profile

I've never met a boutique I didn't like.  The tiny little boxes pristinely packaged with fantastic bows cinched over the tops and sides, the sparkling artifacts exemplified on pedestals in the storefront windows, realizing that the number of items for sale is directly proportional to the number of years it will take to pay for one item at full price, having to ask to see everything...four times: just lovely.  

When asked to go eat at Bottega Louie in Downtown LA the other night, I was excited.  I was more than willing to go super-extra early when the senior citizens eat because the place DOESN'T ACCEPT RESERVATIONS, no problem.  Knowing that the place gets very crowded at the stroke of 8:30 pm, it must be delightful.  

Bottega, in Italian, means small store or boutique.  What's the worse that could happen?

LESSON LEARNED: Don't judge a bottega by it's storefront glass. (if you wanna be a stickler, don't judge a book by it's cover.)

Red Flag #1:  
I walked inside and was pleasantly greeted by a glass case of sugary delights.  Glistening cupcakes, éclairs, and cookies were staring back at me... but as I turned the corner, the fluorescent light seemed to grow more harsh and the once-full glass case of goodness was beginning to look empty.  Had Bottega Louie already thrown in the towel?  Thought to itself "I already reeled her in, no more effort necessary?" I was startled by the lack of sweetness and the over abundance of neon white glow.

Red Flag #2:
As any good media whore would do, I checked into my social outlets to let my fans know of my whereabouts (aka, feed my addictions).  I checked into yelp, Facebook, and foursquare.  Right away, I got the JUST DESSERT badge.  This was a sign.

Red Flag #3:
Yes, 'regentrification' seems to be what LA is all about these days. I get it. Well done for it has worked on me. You have successfully lured me into a brand new, yet still old, but strangely new (let's settle on retro), building that was supposed to be torn down but that is now a hip, cool, ultra louge-hangout-hotspot-eatery-wateringhole-cupcaker y-datingspot-ithink. While I used to be really scared about driving to the projects where missions serve homeless people who have lost cognitive function years ago and now babble at parking meters, I know park at those same meters and walk by myself to Bottega Louie.
However, you forgot to think of the function of the space.  It is a concrete and marble high-ceiling LARGE partitioned space.  Since no one stopped to think about acoustical engineering, (or even art on the walls let alone anything to break the monotony from the ceiling) it is a wretched spot for a restaurant.  I couldn't hear a thing.  It is probably best served as a space for a screaming contest.

Red Flag #4:
One of the great things about LA is that waiters and waitresses (I don't know, is that even PC anymore?) are beautiful.  The commercially artistic yet unemployed (ie. Actors, singers, artists, dancers, musicians, and other pretty faces) go to high-end restaurants and submit their headshots (yes, headshots) for jobs.  The idea of it is deplorable, but while sitting at a table, I don't really mind.  

At Bottega Louie, it's fairly obvious that the wait staff was more carefully selected than that of the cast of Gossip Girl.  However, I'm not quite sure our waiter was actually literate.  Even worse, I'm not sure what's more annoying that not finding your waiter than having an overly attentive one.  He stood 2 FEET FROM THE TABLE.  EVERYTIME I LOOKED UP at anything ANYTHING (!), HE CAME OVER.    

Red Flag #5:
Refer to #2.  When we received our food, some of it was inedible.  DO NOT ORDER THE HEIRLOOM CARROTS.  Peter Rabbit, after a cleanse, wouldn't eat those.  People at the next table over were pointing and making gag faces.  Seriously, if I was at the next table over, I would ask the waiter to take these carrots away.  They were THAT BAD.  

Also, I was taking home an entrée for my boyfriend.  Now, it's really difficult to mess up Chicken Parm, but somehow Bottega Louie managed to figure out a way.  Yes, Louie, the breading calls for an egg.  NO, YOU DO NOT THROW THE ENTIRE EGG INTO A FOOD PROCESSOR, SHELL AND ALL.  I'm not making this up. THERE WERE SO MANY EGG SHELLS IN HIS CHICKEN PARM, I wonder if a monkey had broken into the kitchen, tied everyone up, and started messing with the orders.  

We ordered dessert and it was actually really good.  The Foursquare badge was right.  None of this fiasco would have happened if we had JUST ORDERED DESSERT.  

Again, Lesson learned:  Don't judge a bottega by it's storefront glass case....

One of my very first blind dates in Los Angeles was at the Improv.  He insisted on taking me to a combination of two longish shows.  What he didn't realize (until it was too late) was that it was singles night at the Improv.  Let's face it, blind dates are great comedic material.  Yes, I was all smiles- I actually couldn't stop laughing.  Let's just say, he didn't smile the entire night let alone smile and I chose not to hear from him again.  That's right.  I chose.  

Though Singles night at the Improv may not be a great idea for a blind date, I still laughed about 1600 calories from my daily intake that evening.  I've gone back with guys and with groups of girls many times.  I totally recommend the place.  With usually a 2 drink minimum, you can purchase tickets at the show or buy your tickets ahead of time.  There is a bar/lounge area you can chill out in before the show and there is actually a full restaurant you can eat in before/after your show.

Bottom line:  Blind dates never have senses of humor.  Everyone else should take their dates and friends to the Improv for an intimate funny show.

Imagine, if you will, if the Water Buffalo Club (frequented by Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble) was redecorated by Thom Felicia (from Queer Eye).  You, my friend, have just recreated The Woods.  

The Woods is a hipster hangout with cozy leather banquettes and warm, dim yellow lighting.  The walls are blocks of cedar, the tables are literally tree trunks and there are even elk-antler chandeliers. I'm not an expert but I swear I saw the big dipper in the fiber optics on the ceiling.  

Of course the jukebox is filled with Johnny Cash, Elvis Presley, and other down home blues singers. And the number of whiskeys offered at this place are more than quite a few.  There are signature drinks such as the Hollow Point Shot and the S'Mores Cocktail.

Though all these things say rootin' tootin' good time around the camp fire, The Woods has been set up in a way that combines wilderness with Hollywood chic. Who knew?

There is valet parking because parking is awful over there.  However, I have gone to The Woods on off nights when the parking attendant was no where to be found.  You WILL be ticketed if you park in the large neighboring lots.  Street parking (on the impossible sunset or la brea) is the way to go so be careful.  

Also, The Woods is located in a rather small strip mall.  It is on the ground level in the middle of the strip.  The first time I went, I couldn't find it for over an hour.  It is directly across the street from a motel.  Trust me, strip mall.  

You'll have fun.  How many times do you get to hang out in the woods in heels in Hollywood?  without Mosquitoes?  That's what I thought.

Who knew Dakota Moon's 1998 Song about child abuse, "Sweet Lady Jane", would later be known as the cute little bakery with the inconsistent service?  Thanks to my sweet tooth, I convinced my girlfriends to get dessert with my somewhere after we had dinner out.  It was a little on the later side and we weren't sure if it was going to be a real dessert extravaganza or a routine stop at Pinkberry.  I crossed my fingers.

We asked our restaurant- that SERVED ITS OWN DESSERTS- and Sweet Lady Jane bakery was recommended.  Low and behold, it was open.  Their tables were full and it was a chilly night so we decided to take our decadence to go. Though the tables were full, it wasn't yet crowded and I saw this as a good sign:  people liked it there.

Cupcakes, cookies, slices, whole cakes and pies- we had our choice.  This was normal at Sweet Lady Jane.  

Many reviews I've read comment of the staff's attitude.  Though I was there later at night, I didn't witness any foul play.  However, this many reviews can't be lying.  I would say to try this place at least once for the product, not the service.  You may be surprised.  

That night, the roommates offered to pay my rent that month.  Enough said.

Who doesn't love this great big rental we call Planet Earth?  Even at 8 years old, I was convinced green was the new black when I rode through the big golf ball at Epcot.  But when I moved to California, I was doubtful.  Come on!  Whole foods offering a "buy 15 for the price of 1" promo on recycled paper towels, sanitizing your hands at the store but there isn't even a recycling pick up, solar panels, 344,565,098 prius's on the road but the carpool lane is empty, I could go on.  

My jaw dropped to the ground when I read that Ecco Ultra lounge was indeed an environmentally friendly Hollywood nightclub.  How could that be?  Everyone knows that the act of clubbing is synonymous with words like excess and voracity.  

Well, to the tree-huggers of the party world out there, it is true!  Parking is free at Ecco Ultra Lounge for members of the Prius club.  Usually, there is a list, but the line moves quickly and is well worth the wait.  Inside, the bar serves organic alcohols.  The dance floor is hopping but not to worry - the lighting, the audio, and the materials are LEED certifiied.  Even the bathrooms are "green" - they use flush-less toilets, Dyson "Airblade" hand dryers and organic cleansers.  (I don't think that the attendant got the memo when she handed me a paper towel...)  

Spending a Thursday night at Ecco Ultra Lounge felt like any other club - I didn't see any Birenstocks or Tie Die and didn't hear any mention of hemp products.  Come party for the planet!

Granted, I arrived at The Association pretty early on a Thursday night, there was no hassle getting inside besides the subtlety of the actual entrance.  The entrance is located below street-level and is manned by a single door-man; there isn't a sign above the door.  However, overcoming my pride and simply asking the man if I was in the right place, he opened the door and was quite pleasant.  

Inside, the lounge has an old-time members only vibe.  Leather tufted furniture and dim lighting provide a timeless classic decor.  The bar staff was pleasantly well trained.  

The place wasn't too large or too small- it felt comfortable.  The Association is a perfect contribution to the revitalization of Downtown Los Angeles.

Inspired by Charles Lutwidge Dodgson's (we know him as Lewis Carroll) 'Alice's Adventures in Wonderland', this nightclub seems to do more than draw from the classic tale of boredom, spoiled children, and gluttony.  

Far fetched, yes.  Crazy, maybe not.  Set in an area of Hollywood where nothing is glamorous, yet according to its zip code, residents should be holding their chins up high in the air, this club is already setting the perfect stage: it is the cure for a boring area.  On the map, it is glitz but you could have fooled me. Upon entry, patrons walk down a rabbithole'esque hallway abruptly ending at a bar.  Should we have the red drink or the blue drink?  Which ever drink we choose makes us and our confidences grow to massively substantial levels - a mix of 80s/early 90s music with today's house beats allow all the "Alices" to venture out and meet the wild friends of Wonderland.  

Looking around, the waitresses/go-go dancers and bartenders are strangely off yet intriguing: the female staff is dressed in what seems to be gothic renditions of sexy tutu's and the bartender's look frightening but are very friendly.  Together, these create the perfectly intoxicating environment for you to let loose and explore.  

The downside:  Unless you have a table, you will be dancing in the aisles or at the bar bc there isn't a sufficient dance floor.  

I'm sure Carroll would proudly have a drink (and possibly a hallucination) at Wonderland.

I very much enjoy Urth Caffe in moderation.  I highly suggest IF

1.  You have just moved to Los Angeles and have not yet experienced people wearing sunglasses inside.  
2.  Wish to brunch during the week and witness the other crazies that have undefinable jobs that require long, loud cell phone conversations at public cafe's
3.  Want to see some of the weirdest young hollywood families you will ever see. (ie picture gwen stefani dressed in lamb taking her sons to and husband to the park and stopping at Urth for a Cuppa).
4.  Want to see the worlds most freakishly well-behaved dogs ever.  
5.  Have never heard anyone order off the menu but then change the order around completely substituting tofu for chicken, soy for cream, sparkling for still, so on and so forth.  

if you've never done these things, Urth Caffe is a party.  There are only a few tables inside and a few more outside.  No reserved seating so be prepared to do some sleuth table snagging.  The food is very good and comparably priced for the area.  Parking is typical: street parking.  Be careful, however because in West Hollywood a lot of the side streets are permit parking only.  Read the signs very carefully.

Dive bars will always be one of life's great mysteries.  These bars never start with the intention of one day becoming a dive bar.  It just so happened that, at one point, instead of closing down, a bar decided to switch gears.  "ya know what charlie? this whole 'clean glitzy bar-thing' we've been going for? no more!"

And that, little Billy, is how Dive Bars are made.  

The Frolic Room is a Dive Bar.  You walk into this tiny Space, immediately see old run-down men standing around the jukebox, smell the stench of decades of peanuts and bar fights, and you know that there is history in that 6" x 11" establishment.  

This girl can have a good time no matter where you put me.  This was a challenge that I gladly welcomed.  Why anyone would set out at the beginning of the night and say, "Let's go to my favorite spot, the Frolic room!", I don't know.  But, once there, it was sort of nostalgic having a real-life dive bar in Hollywood.  

Kinda like a taste of Detroit right here in LA LA land.

Amoeba Music has been on my LA List of things to do since I got here.  It finally happened and I am addicted.  I've never been a music aficionado, never really needed an ipod with me at all times, and never really noticed what was playing in the background of GENERIC coffee shop.  

Stepping into Amoeba was like stepping into the movie, "Empire Records".  The staff eats, breaths, and sleeps music.  This was a real conversation I heard from a definite metal-head staff member, "oh you are referring to his earlier work before Run DMC.  if you like that, you'll like....."  WOW.  they know their shit....

In real life, I am a mac monkey: a graphic designer that thrives on social media and everything "new".  Before Amoeba, I would have told you that music stores were on their way out of existence.  Downloading was in.  iPod destroyed the CD.  Now, I have about 10 new CDs in my car and the iPod is at home.  There is even an underground parking garage.

Selling New and Used music, this place is a playground.  I expected to see Warren [ER reference].