laura b.'s Profile

Hatha Yoga with Adrienne is pretty much the greatest. It's challenging yet relaxing, and I feel like I'm with a teacher who really knows what she's doing. I've always made fun of yoga and that's because I'm a jerk and also, I hadn't found the right teacher. I really think that your success with yoga has a lot to do with whether you like your teacher and if you connect with them (and not thinking they're a whack job LADIES AM I RIGHT?) and Adrienne knows what's up! Anyway, she's great, her classes are great, and I'm learning a lot and getting crazzzzy flexible (SEXY).

On top of that, the whole staff is super nice, the facility is clean and bright, and classes are EL CHEAPO. I hate to say it (lie) but if you're going anywhere else for yoga, you're a chump! I kid, there are lots of great studios in the area, but this one is particularly rad, and where I take classes when I'm in town.

Oh, and because you're all wondering, my end goal with all this Yoga stuff (besides spiritual enlightenment and purification) is to be able to do the splits. I might be 32 but it's never too late to truly LIVE. Besides, it's the ultimate party trick. Like, everyone is standing around all bored at your stupid party, and then you're all, "HIT IT, TOOTS!" and your boyfriend (or whoever) drops the needle on some James Brown, lights go down, spotlight on you, three fast turns and BAM: the splits! PARTY SAVED.

Richard, the brains and beauty behind Project Photobooth, is a genius, pure and simple. Not only are his photos AMAZING, the experience itself is so ridiculously fun, it's like you are drugs, even if you're not! And not crappy downer drugs, really good happy drugs! Think cocaine but without any of the gross side effects or meth if you didn't lose all your teeth and wake up 5 days later in a shack in the Santa Cruz mountains wearing nothing but an Ed Hardy t-shirt. Sounds good already, right??

ANYWAY, I've enjoyed the Project Photobooth experience at many parties and I'm always been soooo happy with how good everyone looks in the photos. Seriously, they could make Lurch look like Jude Law. And I'm talking a young Jude Law, not the hagard JL of today. If I can ever trick anyone into marrying me, I'm totally gonna have Project Photobooth at my wedding OMG SO MUCH FUN.

Sorry, this review is kinda nuts but I really do love this company and know that you will too so really, my craziness is a gift to you. Or something. BYE!

VegNews RULES. Let me count the ways:

1) It's hella pretty to look at. That's important. I mean, why are you reading my reviews? BECAUSE I'M HELLA GOOD LOOKING.
2) It publishes the BEST RECIPES SRSLY WTF DELICIOUS. These lovely people can veganize ANYTHING, ice cream to bbq ribs to shortbread cookies to food from around the world. I know their tag-line is, "more than recipes" and it is but damn, the recipes. SO GOOD.
3) Probably most importantly, it makes veganism seem attainable even if you're not a white guy with dreads (god love 'em but really PLEASE STOP). Veganism needs magazines like VegNews to bring it into the mainstream, showing the public that veganism is for everyone. It doesn't belong just to old hippies or scenesters with tattoos, it belongs to ALL of us. ANYONE can be vegan and VegNews makes it cool, fun, hip, ATTAINABLE. Hearts & stars for that.

Other things I love in no particular order: the vegetarian city guides (I srsly consider booking a ticket each time I read one and then look at my bank account and realize I'll probably die alone in a cardboard box eaten by one of my 52 foster dogs who also live in the box OMG MY DAD WAS RIGHT) and  the new products section (aka, I KNOW ABOUT STUFF BEFORE YOU DO AND THEREFORE AM A BETTER PERSON).

It's just all around bees knees awesome and if you're vegan, vegetarian or even veg-curious, you need to subscribe yesterday...you can do it quickly on their website http://www.vegnews.com. Or find out where to buy it on the newsstand here: http://www.vegnews.com.... Or holler at me and you can borrow one of the 50 copies I have scattered around my bedroom because I buy things and then forget I have them and then buy them again. ANYWAY.

I've heard that one sign of a truly great chef is the ability to make an amazing salad. For me, the salad is the thing you have to get through to get to the FOOD. I can appreciate a salad and even when dieting, order one as a meal (I disgust myself) but it's rarely the dish that stands out. At least for me. I'm sure there is some argumentative asshole out there who will say otherwise but you're a liar.

THAT BEING SAID.

The salad at Brassica Supper Club is amongst the best tasting things I've ever eaten. It was deliciousness saladified. Baby dino kale, avocado, pickled onions, toasted pumpkin seeds, and the most outrageous creamy orange vinagrette. This is a salad that could go head-to-head with a plate of french fries in the Deliciousness Battle Supreme. It would lose but still, to battle a french fry? One could say you have arrived.

Unfortunately for you, the menu at Brassica Supper Club, a brand new kinda-restaurant in San Francisco, is always changing so you'll never get to experience the magic that was this salad*. Fortunately for you, the three talented chefs behind Brassica are already planning future events. What's an Underground Supper Club, Laura? Well, Village Freaks, Losers, & Outcasts, it's a group of people (in this case, chefs who cut their teeth at Millennium, Cafe Gratitude and the short lived, ill-fated but always tasty Usual Suspects Cafe) who open their home and kitchen to you in return for some help with the cost of food. At Brassica, you pay $35 (that's not including tip, Scrooge McDuck!) and you get a truly excellent, gourmet meal. You sit on the floor (pillows for your buttocular region) and eat off low tables. The meal service includes tea (this really insanely good stuff called latte mate that tastes like chocolate and rooibos and almonds and is the shit TRUST) and water (if you want to drink, you can bring wine or beer or boones or jack, whatevs! They have glasses and there is no corkage fee) and four courses of awesomeness. I'll spare you the details of our meal because it will only serve to make you insanely jealous and insanely hungry. Just know that these kids know what they're doing and that it's as fine a meal as I've ever had at Millennium. Oh and the meal ended with this OUTRAGEOUS vanilla cake layered with tangerine mousse and covered in a rich chocolate ganache and then drizzled with macadamia cream. Sorry, I had to.

The chefs are all vegan and that adds a whole nother level of greatness because you know the money is going to support vegans and especially vegans who are obsessed with good food. I find that particularly inspiring and that's impressive because I've pretty much given up. It's so cool that Carmen, Edward and Mark (your chefs/hosts/builders of The Dream) are SO into food and just happen to be vegan and want to make exceptional, exciting, fantastic vegan food. That is something I want to support. Activism through eating, deeeelicious. Not only that, the other guests are like-minded people who you can always turn to for excellent conversation when you can't stand looking at your significant other FOR ONE MORE FUCKING SECOND I TOLD YOU TO STOP BREATHING LIKE FIFTEEN MINUTES AGO**!!

The upcoming events are posted here: http://brassicasupperc... and I suggest you make reservations as soon as you can. The place is going to be a vegan sensation soon enough and you'll definitely want to get in on the ground floor. Plus, if you're lucky, maybe the chefs will give you a post dinner tutorial on how to make avocado milkshakes, complete with generous samples.

*SUCKA!

**Of course I'm not talking about Jonas as he is the best ever but I can imagine your relationship is not as solid and loving.

These pies are seriously ridiculous. The strawberry rhubarb! The candied lemon! Heaven! OH AND THEY'RE VEGAN. Well, not all of them but I'm working on that (can I get a what-what for Earth Balance!? Nevermind! Further, BLOW ME EARTH BALANCE IS THE SHIT AND ISN'T MILKED FROM THE UDDER OF A COW THAT'S USED UNTIL SHE LITERALLY FALLS DOWN AND DIES. Oh those are the lucky ones, the others go to slaughter. Actually, I can't tell who the lucky ones are, opinions?)

SO ANYWAY, you should track them down on twitter @bikebasketpies and request so many vegan pies and then eat them all and be tremendously happy. You can then write me numerous love letters thanking me for sending you to this hand-held pie in the sky gloriousness. Next, you can send me a blank check. After that, I'll take the check straight to Singapore Airlines and buy a one way ticket to Tokyo where I'll seamlessly blend into Japanese culture by losing 200 pounds and dressing like a cabbage patch kid. I don't know, we all have different dreams. My point is, these pies are great. And only available on Tuesdays. FOR NOW. I have a feeling they are going to take off and become famous. Well, as famous as food products can become. Which is to say, very famous. Please see: The Hamburgular.

I need to eat dinner.

ALSO. follow @vegansaurus on twitter because we are hilarious and amazing? I mean!

Hi everyone! Long time, no see! That is because I am writing reviews over at http://www.vegansaurus...! Come visit me there! I promise, you won't regret it! Free BJ for the millioneth visitor! Can you say INCENTIVE? I see your lips moving and they're saying TERRIFIED. FUCK YOU!

ANYWAY, Vegansaurus (along with some awesome friends!) is putting together a bake sale for the World Wide Vegan Bakesale! If you're in the San Francisco Bay Area on Saturday, June 27th AND/OR Sunday, June 28th and interested in participating in ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM, email me at laura@vegansaurus.com and/or visit our site for more details! We need bakers, eaters and good looking fools to stand on the corner and direct people toward us. That's key.

All of the money raised will go to support a cause that we haven't decided on yet but most likely it will be split between Animal Place and East Bay Animal Advocates. Because they are both so super awesome.

SO EMAIL ME RIGHT NOW AT LAURA@VEGANSAURUS.COM! PLEASE AND THANK YOU.

special note to yelp:

The Worldwide Vegan Bakesale is a restaurant that exists for two days all over the world. Therefore this is a valid business, yelp. Further, take this down and MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON YOUR SOULS. not sure what that means but you know, do what you gotta do.

I am not someone who read comics when I was a kid. Instead, I had friends and the outdoors. KIDDING!!! I don't know why I just wanted to write something really mean there. I am total liar jerk. Anyway, no I had no friends and I didn't like the outdoors but I also didn't read comics and I think it's mainly because I spent my formative years reading fiction that was WAY above my pay-scale. I remember trying to tackle War and Peace when I was 10. I read half of it, understood nothing and finally gave up and switched to Moby Dick for some lighter reading. God knows what good any of that did me because I can hardly form a sentence now without some enormous grammatical error and also, I just had to look up how to spell grammatical, you dig? Anyway, enough blogging about me even though we all love it. This is about Isotope and it's awesomeness. And it is awesome. It's awesome because the first time I went in it was to drop off my boyfriend's comic for entry in the Isotope Award in Mini-Comic Excellence. First off, the store is so great to look at, clean and organizes with places to sit and luxuriate in the dorky greatness. If there had been a library on The Jetsons, this would be it. The man who greeted me was this fantastic poofy haired, A-MAZING suited dude (I later find out his name is James Sime. Which is a great name, btw.) and normally people who look so crazy awesome are beyond weird to talk to (or maybe i am just a bigoted jerk) but this dude was the super nicest! He took Jonas' entry and oohed and ah-ed over it and showed me the super pointy, dangerous looking award that the winner would take home and all in all, it was just a really pleasant experience. I noted that I would be back to buy gifts for Jonas soon and was on my way.

Well, I was back sooner than expected because my awesome and amazing and super talented boyfriend ended up winning the award and they had a party to celebrate his greatness (er, and it was an APE after-party too but whatevs) and there were all sorts of great fun people and most importantly, all sorts of expertly mixed drinks (a special shout out to the genius making the margaritas! you are a GENIUS) and it was just super fun. I also got to look around more at some of the actual comics in the store and found several things that I might purchase not just for the comics loving nerd faces (sorry!) in my life but for me, as well! That was a pleasant surprise. There was this especially cool book about the sky scrapers of the mid-west that was by a previous winner of the Isotope Award! Too cool! By the end of the evening, I wanted everything. Ugh, I have so many wants. Why am I such a consumer whore? It plagues me. At least spending the money at Isotope, I'm supporting a small, locally owned, truly excellent shop so there's that. Also, THE WANT.

Anyway, moral of the story is: this store is fucking great, the people who run it are fucking great and mainly, you should buy Jonas' comic there (or here if they're out at Isotope: http://www.family-styl...) because I really want this dress at Anthropolgie, you see. Again, kidding! Comics don't make any money! That is why I work in non-profit! To bring in the big bucks! Ugh, never mind.

The stuff here is ridiculously cute. It's so cute, it almost gives you a migraine. A cuteness migraine. So like a regular migraine but covered in candy. Delicious. Actually, it's much like the kind of migraine you get when you look at me because I AM VERY CUTE.

Loyal Army is a relatively young super awesome SF based company that makes cute cute cute (almost as cute as me) hoodies, shirts, bags and accessories in all sorts of different cute overload prints and designs. They have stuff for women, men, teens, tweens, kids, toddlers, babies and premies (aww). They recently launched a line of t-shirts and tote bags with an "Animals Have Rights Too" theme, a dog and a cat hugging in a heart shaped explosion of adorability. It will make you want to tear your eyes out because you JUST CAN'T TAKE IT. Oh and the coolest part is that 20% of the proceeds of the sales of these shirts and totes go to Rocket Dog Rescue, a local dog rescue group that saves dogs from the shelter and abuse and neglect situations and puts them into loving homes!  So not only is Loyal Army the cutest, it's also the greatest and the nicest and the most giving.

And, with that, I promise I will never use the word, "cute" again in any of my reviews. We can start a dollar jar for every time I fuck up. Then, at the end of the year, you can take the dollar jar and buy yourself a Delorian.

Sugar Beat Sweets is a brand new, all vegan, woman owned bakery that uses fair trade, organic and local ingredients whenever possible.  Not only is it all of that shit which makes me feel warm and fuzzy and so much better than you but also, it's FUCKING DELICIOUS.  I'm telling you, if I had to lie through my teeth one more time about how most vegan goods are just as good as their butter and dairy filled counterparts, I would be forced to stick my head in an oven.  To eat the cake that's inside.  I ain't going nowhere, bitches!  But also, I would continue to feel bad about lying and cheated that there aren't that many equally delicious dessert offerings for us vegans.  HOWEVER, with the advent of Sugar Beat Sweets and their amazing cakes, cupcakes, cookies and more, I no longer have to lie!  About vegan baked goods!  I will continue to lie about everything else!  The sweet, sweet baked goods from SBS are RIDICULOUS.  My birthday cake this year came from them and even my father who prefers his food made with pig's blood and baby tears was blown away.  He actually thought I was cheating at being vegan (that's my favorite, like it's some fad diet that I get to be "bad" about on the weekends or some shit.  GOD I REALLY HATE THAT) and ordered a non-vegan cake.  I think he was more proud than the day I graduated college.  When I told him it was vegan, he was visibly disappointed and drowned his sorrows in two more slices.  I actually think that cake had some special powers because since then my dad has been less weird about my veganism (pronounced, "vay-gun-ism") and more weird about the fact that my life is going nowhere and I'm dead broke and will wind up dead in a gutter, half eaten by wolves.  Also, that would kinda rule because it would mean that San Francisco would be overrun by wolves and they are my people.  I'm pretty sure we would be good friends before they ate me.

Sugar Beat Sweets doesn't have a store front (YET!  GIVE THEM LOTS OF MONEY SO THAT I CAN CLIMB INSIDE THEIR PASTRY CASE!) so you have to custom order through their website.  The prices are very reasonable when you consider the quality of the ingredients and the fact that every order is custom so you can get really specific.  My favorite flavors are PB&J, Peanut Butter Cup and Lemon Curd but I highly doubt you can go wrong.  I might even try to marry my dog soon so that I can have a wedding cake made in my own LIFE SIZED image, which I hear is huge in the Wedding biz right now.  I will submit this photo: http://static.px.yelp.... and if the cake doesn't look exactly like me, I WILL LOSE MY SHIT!!!  Also, I want locks of my own hair to be used and I am the only one who gets to eat it (the locks of my own hair goes a long way to ensuring that happens).  

In short, Sugar Beat Sweets is what I've been waiting for my whole vegan life and I can't wait to celebrate my birthday six more times this year, by the time 2009 comes, I will be 37 years-old and 500 pounds and LOVING EVERY SUPER FAT MOMENT OF IT!  Oh also, if you have a celebration and order something from SBS, please to invite me, I give great head!  I mean, I will be your friend forever!  I mean, whatever connects my mouth with that cake!  Seriously, you need someone to vacuum your house?  Naked?  What?

Rocket Dog Rescue is having an amazingly fun dance party benefit fundraiser at Mighty on Thursday, August 28th from 6 pm - 10 pm.  PLEASE COME!  It's gonna RULE!  You are going to FREAK OUT!  or SOMETHING!

To learn more, please visit: http://www.yelp.com/ev...