susan "My hat is not filled with marzipan" c.'s Profile
DateNew York, NY 10001
(212) 792-9000
The John Dory Oyster Bar
Category:
Seafood
Neighborhoods: Midtown West, Flatiron
1 Previous Review:
-
1/30/2011
I came here on a blizzardy day when many people were shoveling their cars out of their snow carapaces but all I had on my mind was devouring sweet, briny seafood freed from its shells. I had a brief 15-minute wait for a table when I arrived at 6:30 pm--enough time to have one of their house drinks at the bar with a friend.
My Spring Forward cocktail ($12), John Dory's riff on a Gibson, was so refreshing and ungodly good I almost wished our time at the bar were longer so I could savor another one. In place of the traditional cocktail onion garnish, it comes with a twig of spring onion that really highlights the herbaceous flavors of the icy cold bath of Plymouth gin. If you like Gibsons, you will love the Spring Forward.
When our "table" was ready, the hostess led us from the bar...to another bar--practically a copper railing near the window where we perched ourselves on stools. Sam Sifton complained a lot about the long waits at this no-reservations establishment but I don't think his NY Times review mentioned exactly how tiny, cramped and dark John Dory Oyster Bar is: Like one of the smaller rooms at Webster Hall but with an odd playlist of '80s tunes and less slutty outfits on the patrons.
The food redeemed any discomfort in our seating arrangement, which it well should with April Bloomfield at the helm and the prices they charge for her talent. The dishes are meant to be shared and for the two of us, our server recommended a total of 2-3 selections from the raw bar, crudo and bar snacks, plus 2-3 choices from the small plates list. Here's what we had:
- Nantucket bay scallops crudo ($14) - My favorite dish of the meal; the scallops were so fresh and pristine, they were like tender clouds that just melt in your mouth and burst with the flavor of the sea air on a chilly night.
- Razor clam ceviche ($11) - Another hit; whereas the scallops were largely naked, the razor clams had a lovely dressing that helped tenderize their delectable meat.
- Escarole salad with anchovy dressing ($8.50) - Zingy and refreshing; even my raging carnivore dining companion said this was one of the highlights of the meal.
- Oyster pan roast with uni crostini ($15) - Beautiful, plump oysters in an intensely rich, creamy broth; definitely tasty but the allure of the first few bites soon wore off. On the other hand, I wish there was more of the buttery uni slathered on the crostini, or at least an option to order just the crostini without the pan roast.
- Chorizo stuffed squid with smoked tomato ($15) - An ambitious dish that tasted of complexity and technique; the squid sits on a layer of creamy white beans but I think I'd reached my rich-creamy-buttery threshold by this point and I ate it out of duty more than joy.
Parker House rolls ($4) - Three hot, buttery rolls that were irresistibly soft and pillowy inside; I loved the sprinkle of coarse salt on the crusty top layer.
- Eccles cake ($8) - A bizarre dessert of boozy currants wrapped in hot, flaky pastry and served with a sliver of stinky blue cheese; I didn't love it.
If you're looking for a wine recommendation, I thought the Chenin Blanc paired really well with most of the dishes.
I would definitely go back to John Dory Oyster Bar to have another Spring Forward cocktail (or three), the scallops and escarole salad, then order more prudently to round out the meal. But first I have to save up some more clams.
Brooklyn, NY 11218
(347) 425-8391
Old Brick Cafe - CLOSED
Categories:
Mediterranean,
Turkish
Neighborhoods: Kensington, Flatbush
I'm glad that didn't scare us off because the food here is truly delicious, in that soul satisfying way that transcends cultural familiarity and nostalgic ties. Despite the aforementioned TV and wary glare from the server, the place is actually inviting. Decked out in dark wood and Balkan knick-knacks, it feels homey and authentic.
The menu is a mish-mash of globalized guy food (fries, mozzarella sticks, wings) and Balkan classics. I decided on the pasulj ($10). It's a huge bowl of creamy white beans simmered with about a dozen big chunks of insanely smoky beef. The meat was streaked with thick layers of fat like bacon. I decided they weren't worth eating after they'd given up all their flavor to the luscious broth like spent 9-volt batteries.
My friend played Russian roulette with the menu and landed on the Sudzuk & Cevapi combo ($10). With no translation provided, we were pleasantly surprised when it turned out to be two kinds of grilled sausage. The sudzuk was two fat links spiced, hard and dry-aged while the cevapi was five pieces of juicy free-form sausage that looked like the brown 'n' serve breakfast variety. A block of fresh cheese, sour cream and chopped onions rounded out the platter.
As good as our entrees were, the highlight was the basket of warm pita that came with our meal. The thick, doughy pockets were grilled crisp on the outside and chewy, soft in the middle. We were stuffed but still devoured every last one.
However, a quibble: I wasn't impressed with the spinach burek (two slices of spinach pie, $5). The phyllo pastry arrived limp and rubbery--as if it had been microwaved.
Aside from that misstep, everything else was great, including the Turkish coffee that my friend got in a beautiful copper service set. Even our server had warmed up to us by the meal's end. I'd definitely go back for the irresistible pita and pasulj or maybe try one of their Balkan salads with feta.
If you decide to visit, go armed with a big appetite, tolerance for lots of sausage around you, and greenbacks. It's OK if you're not a dude but this place is cash only.
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*Yeah, I didn't know that much about the Balkans either till I looked it up on Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.or...
Listed in: This Is Why I'm Fat
I love a themed party. Thanks, Yelp, for giving me a reason to put on a cowboy hat and boots, and transporting me to a space where people dressed like the cast from "Green Acres."
The venue was fantastic. I had no idea there was such a sprawling down-home BBQ spot in hipster-filled Williamsburg. The crowds kept the joint jumping while the Makers Mark cocktails had enough alcohol to disinfect a saddle after an assless-chaps ride.
Kudos to the Mabel's Smokehouse staff for pumping out the food and drinks. The pulled pork was fall-apart tender while the collard greens were mouthwateringly tangy. The spread was plentiful and substantial enough to soak up the alcohol before I passed out on a squishy stack of Wonder bread slices.
It was great to see old Yelp friends and meet some new ones (Jenny, Carmen, and Andrea, to name a few). Thanks to me for bringing Deanna W. as my +1.
Peter D., you sure know how to throw a fab hoedown.
P.S. Loved the Tim McGraw stetson :)
* http://www.yelp.com/bi...
Listed in: Yelp Elite Events
Brooklyn, NY 11217
(718) 799-5015
Green Apple Cleaners
Category:
Dry Cleaning & Laundry
Neighborhood: Park Slope
1. Moonshine
2. People who whip out their iPads on the subway
3. Toxic dry cleaning fumes on my clothing
I've learned to stay away from 1 and 2, and now Green Apple solves problem #3.
I discovered this eco-friendly cleaner back in December through a DailyCandy Deal offering $125 of dry cleaning for $50. I've since used up all my credit but I'm going to keep sending them my precious threads for a bunch of reasons:
- Instead of noxious chemicals, they flush dirt out of the clothing with pressurized CO2. My knits and delicates always come back super clean and refreshed, with no offensive odors, just like Paris Hilton after a high colonic.
- Free pick-up and delivery to most of Brooklyn.* I love seeing their pint-sized delivery guy zip around in their tiny, apple-green smartcar as if it were a wind-up toy. He's always prompt and so nice.
- Their prices** are just a dollar or two more than my neighborhood cleaner who has the worst hours and awful gaggy solvents.
- I have to agree with Kelly on this matter: http://fuckyeahtvpicsp...
The one downside to Green Apple is the turnaround time; clothes are usually held hostage for 3-4 days and you have to negotiate their release at least 24 hours in advance to get your optimal time slot.
Otherwise, Green Apple is terrific. They clean my clothes without making me lose my lunch. (Although, I suppose inducing vomit would be one way to get repeat business.)
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* Green Apple also has a location in Tribeca, for Manhattanites
** See uploaded price list
Brooklyn, NY 11211
Elite Event at Le Comptoir
Category:
Local Flavor
Neighborhoods: Williamsburg - South Side, Williamsburg - North Side
Why? So many reasons:
- Cute French bartenders pouring delicious drinks made with super healthy fair trade quinoa vodka distilled by blind vegan Peruvian monks in the Andes.
- Cute French chef turning out the best food I've had at an Elite event in the Big Apple. I usually leave Elite events drunk and hungry but this time I only left drunk since I had my fill of amazing food.
My favorites were the flaky, buttery truffle-scented gougères that were piping hot and more habit-forming than sex to David Duchovny; the spoons of beet hors d'oeuvres laced with tart dressing and smoky bacon bits; and the warm bread pudding that was not too sweet with a crisp crust and jiggly, soft-as-pudding center.
- Cute French DJ spinning excellent tunes.
- Cute Elite-only crowd in a small, intimate space made it easy to connect with old friends and meet new ones. (Ashley, Claire, Christine--Hey! You are my favorite new Elites that I met in the last four hours.)
Merci beaucoup to the Le Comptoir staff and thank you very much to Peter D. You and the lovely lady CMs are the best. I'd probably write reviews regardless but keep throwing events like this and it's pretty much guaranteed.
Yes, vodka makes me happy :)
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*Since I started going to them in Sept. 2010
Listed in: Yelp Elite Events
Aussie Style sounds crazier than a Mel Gibson alcoholic rant but when you've over-imbibed and are in need of late-night greasy sustenance, you'll eat anything set before you. (N.B.: "you" = the author)
It arrived as a wrong order--I asked for a regular burger with lettuce and tomato so it came with those garnishes, too. But I didn't mind the screw-up since I was charged the lower price of $9 and that's a really good deal for getting a burger, breakfast, salad and dessert all in one monstrous sandwich.
The runny egg yolk kept the medium burger moist while the beet and pineapple added a natural sweetness. I inhaled this beast of a burger, pausing intermittently to wipe away the meaty juice dribbling from the beef patty before it reached my elbows. The accompanying chips (fries) were just OK.
Other things to note:
- The front space feels like a small, divey pub.
- The service is friendly in that easy Down Under way (although when I noticed a commonwealth accent from the bartender and asked if he was Australian he replied, "Fuck no." as if I'd just insulted him. LOL!)
- They serve Coopers ale in bottles.
BOTTOM LINE: An Aussie Style burger is pretty good to eat when you're drunk. Much better than a vegemite sandwich.
Listed in: This Is Why I'm Fat, Places Where I've Had Good…
New York, NY 10001
(212) 643-5400
Yelp Elite Go Mad For The Empire Room
Category:
Local Flavor
Neighborhoods: Midtown West, Koreatown, Midtown East
The venue was fantastic. I had no idea there was such a lovely bar in the Empire State Building. The smaller crowd kept the evening intimate and civilized even though the Makers Mark cocktails had enough alcohol to disinfect a stripper pole.
Kudos to the Empire Room staff for pumping out the food and drinks. The hors d'oeuvres were hot, plentiful and substantial enough to soak up the alcohol before I passed out on a pile of winter jackets in the coat check room.
It was great to see old Yelp friends and meet some new ones (Joolie, Janeen, Rich, to name a few). Thanks to Deanna W. for bringing me as her +1.
Jane, you sure know how to throw a swell party.
P.S. Love the Joan Holloway red hair :)
Listed in: Yelp Elite Events
Brooklyn, NY 11217
(718) 797-1011
The Smoke Joint
Category:
Barbeque
Neighborhood: Fort Greene
But, as is often the case, the closest option wasn't the best option. At first glance, the Smoke Joint seemed promising: The place was packed at 9 o'clock on a Monday night. It has a gritty roadhouse feel that suggests a fun, casual vibe even if the eerie reddish glow of their lighting was as unsettling as Natalie Portman's demonic Black Swan eyes.
After a brief wait, we were seated and tried to order drinks ASAP but the bar was 86ed on one-third of their cocktail menu and our server couldn't remember what was available. After he sorted out the situation with the bartender, I eventually settled on the Manhattan Bridge (rye, Campari, sweet vermouth; $10). Ugh. It was more disgusting than Portman peeling a stitch of bloody cuticle down her finger like a banana. I drank this tepid over-proofed concoction anyway so I could erase these horrific mental images. But looking over at my friend's Bloody Mary (rimmed to gaudy excess with cayenne and paprika) wasn't helping matters.
My fried catfish sandwich ($7.50) was marginally better. The best part--the brioche-Kaiser roll hybrid bun--was also its downfall, proving to be too much dough for the meager coins of breaded fish. I slathered as much barbecue aioli onto it as I could but you'd need an entire tube of KY Jelly to lube up this Mojave Desert of a sandwich.
The side order of spicy fries ($3) should have provided some redemption but they arrived heavily caked with the house jointrub and not hot at all. (Bad sign when your fries and cocktail are about the same temperature.)
My final complaint is about the table spacing. When a neighboring party is so close by that they are eavesdropping on your conversation and you can, in turn, hear them segue your last sentence into their discussion...*SPOILER ALERT*...it could drive you to stab someone in the gut with a broken shard of mirror.
Long Island City, NY 11101
(718) 425-6917
M Wells - CLOSED
Category:
Diners
Neighborhoods: Hunters Point, Long Island City
M. Wells chef Hugue Dufour who is from Montreal (and an alum of the city's famed Au Pied de Cochon), does his hometown proud in the latter regard. He's turning out dishes with French-Canadian flair at this cute little chrome-plated diner in Long Island City. The result: Food that's hearty and viscerally satisfying yet still cheffy and innovative enough that it's worth the trek from the other boroughs.
I started off with a Bloody Caesar ($8), Canada's answer to the Bloody Mary, made with Clamato instead of tomato juice. Ubiquitous in Toronto, I have yet to see it elsewhere in New York. (Side plea: C'mon, NYC. Join Canadians and Latinos in embracing beverages with this clammy-tomato concoction.) The Caesar was insanely strong--I'd estimate the pint glass was filled halfway with vodka + drinking it on an empty stomach...well, you do the math.
Next up was the tortilla española ($7), a frittata-like egg and potato dish which you can upgrade with shrimp and veal brains for an extra four bucks. I've never had veal brains before so I was keen to try them and wow. Veal brains, where have you been all my life? They're cooked into the tortilla along with tiny pink shrimp so you have alternating bites of the sea and earthy fork-tender potatoes, all swathed in custardy curds of egg combined with the silky, creamy texture of the veal brains--almost like soft, luxurious oysters. It's served with an excellent griddled baguette whose crunchiness is only slightly tempered by a generous blanket of butter.
I also tried a wedge of my friend's Cubano ($7). Dufour's riff on the Cuban sandwich is stuffed with thick slices of pork and features mortadella instead of ham. It was tasty but richer than God and Oprah Winfrey put together, mostly from the softball-sized dollops of mayo I saw being spread onto the bread during sandwich assembly. The pickles and nose-searing Dijon mustard could only do so much to cut some of that richness.
Other things to note:
- The coffee is very good; strong, hot and refilled frequently.
- The servers are warm, friendly, and pretty darn adorable.
- The open kitchen will infuse your hair and clothes with meaty hamburg-aromas.
- Amazing value for the quality of ingredients and chef's pedigree.
- Breakfast, brunch and lunch only for now but dinner service will start next week. [ETA: Dinner service is on hold for now: http://ny.eater.com/ar...]
It's been an entire day since my brunch at M. Wells and my body is only starting to recover from it. If you plan to dine here alone, you'll want to strap on a MedicAlert bracelet with emergency contact info on it because you just might pass out on the subway ride back from the over-the-top excess of the meal. It's only a matter of which will get you first: the impending food coma or a myocardial infarction.
That said, I can't wait to go back and try the brussels sprouts hash and egg-sausage sandwich on their housemade English muffin. Does that make me a glutton for punishment or just a glutton?
Listed in: This Is Why I'm Fat
Hung Ry is the kinder, gentler kind of establishment. $15-20 will get you a big bowl of hand-pulled organic noodles (along with a salad or sorbet during lunchtime). The first thing I noticed upon entering the restaurant was not the smart industrial-chic interior or the queeny pocket gay at the host's station. It was the heady aroma of smoked pork belly wafting from the open kitchen. As much as I love the smell of Asian bacon, it soon became overwhelming as more pots started boiling and the small enclosed space became steamier than the food truck in Ron Jeremy's latest porno.
Already ODed on swine when the waitress took our order, I opted for the black feather chicken soup with mixed winter greens, egg and thick noodles. The good:
+ The broth was clear and bright with delicate infusions of warming spices.
+ The black feather chicken was phenomenal--like how chicken ought to taste without the typical gaminess found in the traditional Chinese preparation of this breed.
+ Even the slices of chicken breast were moist and flavorful. (What does it say that in order to make the most boring white meat exciting, it has to be black?)
+ The soft-boiled egg was cooked just enough to yield a thick, runny yolk when I broke into it.
+ The housemade chile sauce and fermented bean sauce were a refreshing break from the usual Sriracha and hoisin.
+ The roasted radishes in my friend's noodle soup were fantastic, outshining the smoked pork belly.
+ You can see the noodle guy pulling while you eat. (Although, they must have told him to dial down the dough slapping because he worked really quietly.)
+ Loved the individual hand towels at the restroom sink. Always a classy touch.
+ Not sure if it was the restorative spices, super fresh ingredients or absence of chemical preservatives but I felt amazing after the meal.
Still, I can't give my experience more than three stars because:
- The noodles were undercooked and tasted of flour, which is kind of unacceptable at this price point.
- The soup wasn't piping hot so things cooled off faster than a beer-goggled hookup and I didn't enjoy the end as much as the beginning.
- The salad was just meh. They could do better than a plate of mesclun greens with slivers of apple and a barely there insipid dressing.
I'm intrigued enough to return for dinner (I've got my eye on the monkfish liver, logan berry, hen of the woods starter and goat shank, cardoons, salted black cabbage noodle soup) but not until they (a) cook the noodles right; (b) get more fire on the broth; and (c) do something about the smoky, porky sauna environment so I don't leave smelling like an Oscar Meyer employee.
Listed in: The Plush Life
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Brooklyn, NY
Yelping SinceJune 2009
Things I LoveVietnamese sandwiches, Scrabble, zebras, bad puns, really plush toilet paper, gin, fresh laundry, earnest efforts, hushed whispers, handwritten notes, incongruity, pleasant surprises, grapefruit, warm pretzels. the unobvious
Find Me InA good mood till I get hungry.
My HometownBrooklyn, NY
My Blog Or Website When I'm Not Yelping...I'm thinking of hypothetical names for my imaginary businesses and pets.
Why You Should Read My ReviewsThey help end world hunger.
The Last Great Book I ReadLolita
My First ConcertDepeche Mode
My Favorite MovieAnnie Hall, Manhattan, Chungking Express, Tampopo, Breathless
My Last Meal On EarthAn insane meal prepared by the original Iron Chefs or my mom's kimchi chigae
Don't Tell Anyone Else But...I once took the SAT for a friend, just for fun
Most Recent DiscoveryRicotta-stuffed tempura squash blossoms, Back Forty
Another buzzkill: The murky sea swamp smell that wafted over to the bar; it made me want to hurl.
Note to John Dory management: Please bring back the bartender who worked the night of January 27 and give him a raise.