Christine "Baby Einstein" C.'s Profile

"There's a menu right here on the counter. You don't have to strain your necks like that." I guess we still looked lost, because she casheir continued. "Sooo... have you two been here before?"

Two head shakes no. The helpful cashier started her intro: "We're famous for our 'Dirty Love Burger,' which comes topped with a fried quail egg..."After that  I stopped listening. I'm going to eat this burger, dammit. Even if it had been fried up in a trashcan lid hobo-style, I was still going to buy it. I vaguely remember her going on about the meat and acknowledged the men behind her, hurriedly making burger supplies. I guess the meat is special in some way. I guess I'll pay better attention next time.

We opted for the Dirty Love Burger combos (er, combo equivalent) which ran $9 apiece.  I sat at a small, marble table in the adjacent room, sitting high atop a crazy chair and waited for them to bring our food out to us. It was okay-busy for a cold Monday night- there were about four other tables there, including one annoying couple next to us that kept interrupting their conversation by whispering into each other's ears *eye roll.* I noticed my girl Stella Artois stacked up against a wall, along with Shiner, Dos Equis, and the standard domestics. We had opted for tea and lemonade (we were having sake night after this). The fresh-squeezed lemonade was average. Chick-Fil-A's is simiar, but a less tart version. [To be fair though,  have high standards for lemonade, having spent my summers in high school squeezing lemons in roach coaches and selling them at concerts, hot air balloon festivals, and etc outdoor events. I have not found and equal before or since].

God it was cold in there. I only took of my wool coat when the food was brought out. The meat was delicious- we both wished for more after we vacuumed our food. The bun was soft, the bacon perfect, and the cheese, vegetables and sauce all made for one beautiful medley of perfection. A choir of angels sang (I love it when that happens!) with every bite.

Not that the rest of the meal was to be ignored. I also enjoyed the crisp fries, not unlike flattened, crunchy versions of the standard form. They didn't even require my dippin' sauce of mayo and mustard (ketchup is for plebeians). Very satisfying. There wasn't a survivor in the midst. I like crunchy fries, however, and I could understand how those that do not would be less than appreciative.

I got a bottle of grape Jones Soda on the way out. I was feeling so good I got my first soda of the year.

B-A-H spells "Bah."

I'll be reasonable. There's a bit of slim pickings around NE Mall if you want a version of Chinese food. Yes, it's build-yer-own bowl (a most lovely and welcome concept, for sure), and that is a plus point. Another plus: They serve Republic of Tea drinks. I thought only Texas de Brazil did this, and I applaud Genghis Grill for it (Just things you notice when you don't drink syrupy sweet, carbonated concoctions. It's more of a personal thing than a health thing, so don't worry about impending lectures regarding corn syrup or whatever).

And, to tell you the truth, I liked Genghis Grill initially... Until I went to Chan's Mongolian Grill and learned that there were ways to improve.

1. @ Genghis Grill, they serve the meat raw. Sure, I bet it's clean and  kept cool (who are we kidding-- under those lights?!) but I'm making very hopeful assumptions here.

2. I just want NORMAL, unadulterated sauce. I'm an East Asian myself, and it's annoying looking at sticky corporate sauces. My momma don't fry with that at home, I don't fry with that at home, and I don't want anyone else to do the same to my food (Either my crappy AT & T is doing it's crappy thang or Genghis Grill's got a crappy server, because I'm trying to look these science experiments up to chastise them by name to no avail).

3. There's also the array of spices that look tempting at first until you go overboard and ruin your own food (Gotta remind myself: I am not eating Indian food, I am not eating Indian food...). But the array of spices with the overdone versions of "Asian" barbecue sauce? No. God no. I just want some oil to fry this in, thanks. No need to self-poison my food (clever concept getting ME to do it, but I digress.)

Cheaper and better exists. Keep looking if you're going to make a special trip here. But if you're going shopping, to the movies, church or w/e and this is nearby, I would understand. Plus there's a gelato place next door for desert afterwards :D

[I think they deserve two stars, but with my favorite tea? They easily get another one from me, the tea-sipper.]

I'm about to break my personal record for "longest review written." I thought it was warranted, seeing as how I've been lazing it up this new year.

My friend presented me with a Groupon for this place ($35 spent; in return, a $75 meal) for my birthday waaaay back in August. We finally decided to use it last night before the thing expired since, you know, my birthday is an all-year celebration.

Dino's Steak and Claw House is in a cute, fake-sy looking Main Street tourist trap that Grapevine was kind enough to lay out. My friend had called ahead and made reservations since the place is rather small; however, it was just us and one other table in there last night. I guess high winds, cold weather, and rain kept people at home for some reason (but not enough stayed home to keep parking from being an adventure! I was heavily congratulated for parallel parking with great difficulty after circling around a few times like a vulture).

After confirming our reservation, we were lead upstairs. The restaurant was dimly lit and there were votive candles on the tables. The waiter kinda tried to push the wine on us, which you had to buy by the bottle. My friend is definitely not a drinker and I did not feel like drinking a whole bottle of wine by myself. There wasn't a separate listing for other drinks, so I asked what kind of tea they have (hey-- sometimes you get lucky!) and I was informed that they only have unsweetened tea. Good. Fine. I'll take it.

Appetizer: Crab Cubes. This turned out to be two hefty, you guessed it, crab cubes sitting in a non-foam sauce (as previously mentioned by Rachel G; so I was prepared for this). Their chili-apple sauce had the same flavor, consistency, and color of eggroll/lumpia sauce (not to mention was superior than the dijon sauce, but my friend and I are biased in this arena). Finely chopped vegetables were present in the cab meat. It was delicious and we had absolutely no complaints.

The bread was brought out at about this time (yes, we perceived our server to be quite slow, given the lack of tables that evening). The bread was incredibly crusty and was served with curled butter sprinkled with sesame seeds. I didn't finish my roll, but my friend ate all of hers + another roll in order to completely finish of the sauce that accompanied the appetizer.

For dinner, I had the Pecan-Crusted Chicken (to the disappointment of my boyfriend, when he found out later that I went to a Steak and Claw House and did not eat steak. I'm sorry! I really don't eat red meat! You think he'd be happy that I'm a cheap date, but I guess only when he's not buying, lawl). It was partially covered in a sweet vermouth sauce and sat atop mashed potatoes. Sitting politely next to it was grilled carrots and zucchini. The chicken was great (as all pecan-crusted chicken is). The server forget to bring a knife for my meal, so he handed me a butter knife from an adjacent table (hope he doesn't do that when you order beef!) I ordered truffle polenta a la carte that was truly fabulous. It tasted incredibly rich and buttery and lacked any hint of greasiness. It was so rich we didn't finish it.

But my friend's dinner!!!! She got one of the specials, Chilean Sea Bass that was different than the one featured in the menu. It sat atop scallion and pecan rice and was topped with avacados and crab meat. Absolutely perfect and far better than my own meal. It was beautifully white and lightly braised. Her meal was truly 5 stars, as her judgment.

We had frozen chocolate mousse for dessert, which came as two frozen mousse wedges that thawed instantaneously in your mouth. Three tiny ball of ice cream came with it atop chocolate syrup, as well as a sliced strawberry (I requested another one brought out; the waiter brought out two more). I don't believe more description is warranted, as deliciousness is implied. Again, they forgot silverware and just swiped some from the next table. I guess I could've done that, but it was fairly consistent behavior.

Without the Groupon, the meal would have cost a grand total of $93 something. With the Groupon, we owed close to $19, sans tip. Sooo... get the Groupon!

In summation: The food is really, really good. The portions were not generous by any means, but we definitely left full. Parking can be a bit of a nightmare; I couldn't imagine what it looks like on Saturday nights with good weather (Wait, maybe I can: It resembles 820 at Rufe Snow). Our server, while knowledgeable and nice, really didn't give us his all and spent a lot of the night at the one other table chatting to the older couple. We were wanting to head to Grapevine Mills before closing, so we were kind of anxious about it. Oh, and this joint is pretty expensive. We made the most our meal, knowing that we probably won't be making special trips out to Grapevine for this restaurant (citing cost, distance, and small menu), but we thoroughly enjoyed  it.

Closed forever.

I TOLD you guys to come here!! Now look what you did. :*(

EDIT: I was just told they were closed to make renovations after a fire. I will retract this update once reopened! Oh, and sorry for blaming you people D: Mea culpa x infinity.

Food's good. Real good. I had "Chicka Chicka Boom Boom" enchiladas, much to the delight of my table (read: laughter chorus. Repeatedly). But don't worry-- this was the only dish with a humiliating name. Cilantro and lime sauce on chicken enchiladas.

Also offered is a list and description of sauces. And the rice? More than edible-- I actually enjoyed it! I washed it down with a good Mojito. Their salsa deserves a mention-- it's of the diced variety, rather than the usual pureed crap.

The interior is pretty tacky though. The outside, too. It's cool though; at least you can see it from across the parking lot.

Three star food.
Four stars for being English-speaker friendly. And the pun-nerful name. (Sigh, I tried).

Broad menu, clean and simple decor, and nearly empty. A good place to introduce people that are unfamiliar with Vietnamese food. The menu has clear English translations and the employees are fluent. I wanted Pho and I had Okies with me. I even promised them Baskin Robbins next door for afterwards if they were good and ate all their food.

The food was presented nicely. The chicken was missing the roasted spices I was used to, but it was a nice, simple grilled chicken breast = no hidden hard bits (yes, a dig at YOU Pho 95!).

Oh. My. God.

I don't think I will ever let my coworker pick our watering hole again. Or any other ex-sorority girl for that matter (OHHHH BURN!). I should've let the look on my friend's face, his warning of the creepy old dudes and loud music, and his denial of joining us hinder me. But ooooh no, I wanted to ensure a craptacular experience.

I've never been so harassed in my entire year of legal drinking as I have been here. No less than nine creatures approached our table, either inviting themselves to sit with us or else to spike our beverage (and yes, this really happened). And it's hard to ignore these animals when the MUSIC IS TOO GODDAM LOUD that the only thing I was able to hear on the way out of there was my temples throb.

Wall to wall creeps/aspiring rapists/frat boy-looking douches. Harsh words, yes, but I imagine you'd be pissed too if the friend you sent to watch Psycho No. 4 get your table's drinks saw him pour something into ALL OF THEM. Not to mention sober you right up to GTFO of there and into the night, cradling your throbbing head and deaf ears.

Only afterwards did I realize that my license was missing. I consider it God's way of telling me I shouldn't go back in, since I couldn't license-less. Don't worry, big guy. Got the message loud and clear.

If you were really craving Chinese food on I-30/Summit, you won't be disappointed if you "had" to go here. The first thing I noticed on my maiden voyage was how well-decorated it was. This means a lot to me for my first-impression-never-been-to-this-buffet-before- OMIGAWDWUTAMMIDOING?! fears.

The food was good (read: slightly better than average). They even had blueberry  puffs. Banana puffs. Soft-serve ice cream with gummy bear and skittle topping choices, but no syrup. Pretty bad sesame chicken. Especially refreshing iced tea (theories abound as to why; I welcome any of yours). Vegetable samosas. Big screen TV on CNN (because, you know, sometimes you don't feel like watching judge shows). Prompt, PROMPT service. My dirty dishes were always gone by the time I got back to my seat after thirds. Second plate of desert.  Fourth...never mind. Point being, I've never had to stack.

Never had to stack, people.

A-OK, as reflected by the three stars. I wouldn't be impressed if these dishes were ordered off a menu, but as steam tray neighbors? Yesssss, thank you.

I went back for lunch. THIS time, they had a fresh pot of steaming rice. Thank Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. No rib eye this time, but they had stuffed crabs.

I actually got some ice cream this time. They had seemingly bizarre flavor combinations, like orangebrownandgreen [Thanks for NOT LABELING]. Beats me why there were two brown ones. One chocolate and the other Dutch chocolate? Hell if I know. I'm not chancing it between two brown ice creams. I settled for pinkandbluewithpoprocks.

Oh.
It's cotton candy flavored.

When I figure out what the other 10 or so flavors are, I'll let you know. Right up there on my to-do list, like my mint condition GRE prep book.

Hey. Worst internet ever. And I had dial-up up til four years ago.

I can't get cable at my apartment complex. I don't know what kind of crazy monopoly scheme they be runnin', but I had to get satellite TV and these fools.

My internet randomly dies. While the service technicians are friendly, patient and knowledgeable, our conversations are so long that we become friends afterwards. Not really something I'm looking for in my internet provider. I could have been using that time to order food online or changing people's photo captions. And now I'll never get that time back.

Last week, I didn't have internet. Nothing new,  but this time, instead of friendly tech support helping me, there was a showdown with billing. They marked it for disconnection after the bill was paid early. No clear explanation was made on the wait. They did apologize and plead ignorance, however. But that won't bring back that online coupon sale. I swear that I'm going to move just because AT & T sucks so bad. You hear that AT& T? Are you gonna help me with my moving expenses or what?! At least let me borrow your truck after you disconnect yo'self outta here. I mean, sheeeit.

[I do worry that my internet would shut off right after I post this, but I figured it was worth the risk. That and the risk is no greater than any other day. Le sigh].