Jon R.'s Profile

Yuppie is a noun right?  Over-consumption?  2121 Belmont, that's a proper noun huh?  Oh what about "die yuppie scum", I think that's a verb, and adjective and then a noun.

Uhhhhhh......condo-shopping, Toyota Prius, pesto, 401K, latte, baby-boomer, Zupan's.

I really have nothing against this place, I just hate all the yuppie knick-knack crap stores that pollute my hood.

This place came highly recommended to us by cat-lover friends of ours, and I was very happy with the experience here.

Super nice staff, the people at the front desk were willing to talk to us over the phone to avoid a visit, even before we had become official patients.  We took our new kitty in and the whole staff seemed excited to meet her (she's a pretty cat and a little crazy, we were thinking of calling her Lindsay Lohan, but were afraid of what that might do to her).

The techs were super nice and so was the doctor.  Provided us some good advice for transitioning the new cat, and at the end their rates seemed very reasonable.  They honored a free visit certificate we got from the Humane Society and didn't seem to be pushing anything on us that we didn't need (there was no "jiffy lube experience")

Potato champion is an iconic Portland hotspot, however I hadn't ever been there until last night.  But after hearing everyone rave endlessly about their poutine (fries with gravy and cheese curds similar to paneer), I finally just had to do it.

And oh man it was amazing, a super-hot and yummy late-night drunken delight.  After I finished I was feeling sober, stuffed and sleepy--exactly what I wanted.

TMI WARNING!
As a bonus I had been suffering from a pretty bad case of the runs (AKA poop me a river).  Potato champion clogged me right up, so my medical opinion is to try it out if you're ever in a similar state.

The burritos are pretty good here, especially the Sweet Tecquila burrito, which has the meat or tofu soaked in sweet barbeque sauce, yum!

The tofu is also a really nice option for vegetarians (I like chicken :)).

A friend told me that she has no proof but she's pretty sure they stole her hubcaps when she took her car here.  However she didn't notice they were gone until a few hours later so maybe they got stolen someplace else.  (I'm a bit skeptical because it seems kind of weird for them to steal hubcaps, but then again read my old review about them leaving a tool in my car and possibly intentionally damaging it)

Well it's official: Screen Door is huge on Yelp.  And with good reason.  I had the best fried chicken I've had in my life here.

But I've got some facts to back it up.  I have Wii Fit which weighs you on a daily basis.  Returning from Screen Door I weighed myself: I HAD GAINED 4.6 POUNDS!  Well that was mostly the food-baby, because the next day after taking care of some morning business I had lost 2 pounds!  That's right 2 pounds of you-know-what (3.5 Courics).

So my net gain from my Screen Door meal was 2.6 pounds and 100% worth it.  This is some of the best comfort food I've ever had.  Their mac n cheese is phenomenal, I've only had better at Cafeteria in NYC.

Also they had some interesting Mint Julep type cocktails, I tasted a real Gin-ny one which was bitter and yummy (but I'm mostly a beer guy).

I can't wait to come back for breakfast.  And please no one read this because the lines here are brutal.

I've got an answer to their name: por que long lines, por que overpriced, y por que wack.

This is some Portland hippy shit.  Hippy cuisine goes as follows: take a good comfort food dish, but you're too stoned to remember how to make it well, so you throw a bunch of pine nuts, cilantro and peas on there to compensate (i.e. Portland's so called good pizza).  

Well Por Que No is just like this.  Not really Mexican food, its hippy tacos.  The lines are too long for mediocre food, and the bowls a friend described as burritos they were too lazy to wrap up (so true).  

On top of this the tacos are like $2.50 a piece.  I don't roll with expensive Mexican food.  I like taco carts and when you add this to the fact that the tacos arent really very good and you have to wait forever, it becomes a no brainer:  Por que go someplace else.  

Why is the tacqueria presence so weak in SE?

Oh man the food here is amazing.  So simple and yummy, it's really perfect.  They do sort of the California-style cuisine, with lots of organics, and focusing on using top notch fresh ingredients rather than a lot of seasoning.  It's really the best way to go.

I took my parents here when they were in town, and we ordered an enormous feast.  Their housemade hummus is to die for, I highly recommend that as an appetizer.  For my main course I had a half chicken which was cooked perfectly and of very high quality.  I also tried some stuffed ravioli which was equally amazing (I forget what exactly was in it, but I know it was veggie).

The service is great and I like the decor in the place....the art was pretty cool, not your standard PDX "I write a lot of shit on my paintings because they aren't very good" stuff.

The only drawback with Farm is the wait, which can get pretty brutal on weekend nights (there aren't too many tables).  Thankfully there's a wide variety of bars in the neighborhood...Rontoms is just around the corner if you want to grab a drink while you wait.

I think Farm is my favorite restaurant in Portland, and it's definitely worth the wait.

First let's talk about the corner that Food Fight sits on: 12th and Stark, AKA the scenester nexus of Portland.  Everyone on this corner looks like they expect to photographed at any moment, as they shop for "cruelty free culture" and discuss hippy-activism through sunglasses too big for their faces.

I really don't get the hype about this place, in case you can't tell.  After hearing about it from friends, bumper stickers, etc., I decided to check it out.

It's extremely small, about the size of a corner store (really wouldn't call it a "grocery store").  A high point was a wide selection of veggie jerky, which my GF loves.  Besides that it was your normal vegan fare AND VEGAN DOG FOOD!  

Oh man this really pissed me off, I mean YOUR POOR PUPPY IS A CARNIVORE, don't rope him into your retard crusade (like that vegan couple who killed their baby with soy milk).  Vegan dog food should seriously be illegal, and besides, isn't just keeping a domestic animal somewhat exploitative?  It seems to run counter to the ideals of veganism.

Although vegetarianism makes some sense to me from planetary as well as an ethical perspective, I have trouble getting my head around veganism.  I just don't understand the separation of life.  How can you eat all of a plant, thereby killing the plant, when you won't eat honey from bees that it won't harm?  And why do we get up in arms about scientific testing on rats but not on flies?

My thoughts on veganism aside, this place is kinda weak.  Gave them a two star though, cuz I don't want to totally slam a small business, and if you are vegan, you should definitely check this place out.  Afterwards hopefully you'll reevaluate your lifestyle and I'll cook you some bacon.

This is currently my favorite breakfast spot in SE.  They have a lot of really original options, and their corned beef is amazing.  

I like to order "The Bizness", only partially because I like to say "Give me the bizness".   It's a bagel with corned beef, egg, cheese and thousand island dressing.  Down south they call it "One thousand island dressing".

They also make their own soy chorizo (soyrizo) which is amazing, however don't order a side of it because it just comes out like a spoonful on a plate....kind of stupid.

The service is pretty good, but expect a wait after 10 on weekends like all the breakfast places in SE (WTF is up with that?....endlessly annoying)

The only complaint I have with Jam is that they have a really yummy looking pancake option which is made with a vegan batter.  Vegan food really sucks ass, I don't even think vegans can argue otherwise.  

And if vegans really want to save the world they should kill themselves and stop consuming altogether.  I mean why stop at eggs and cheese?