Kristen T.'s Profile

This place effen sucks.

On a 3 week stay in Portland, and Mio is my repeat restaurant. The food is delicious. It's not fancy, it's not crazy, it doesn't come with paper decorations and shit. It's just fresh and simple. I've been to Hiroshi and to Sinju. Sinju was just under twice as expensive and not as good. Hiroshi was literally 3x as expensive as Mio and still not as good. The staff is also very kind. My boyfriend and I sat outside late at night, and when it got chilly, our waitress brought us endless cups of green tea on the house. : )

I can't believe people think this place is pretentious. I think I'll re-yelp Izzy's sentiment that "It was more pukey than alluring".

Now, I'm one of those white girls that likes to dance to 80s music with hipsters, but I did really enjoy the music. I just don't think it makes sense to have 2 tiny doorways to the dance floor. Dance floors oughta be open. And maybe I came on the wrong night, but the dancing was more akin to bobbing gently in a calm sea than any real motion. Which would have been just fine if the club was playing whale calls or something, but it was Mary Anne Hobbs and it was pretty upbeat. What was missing in body movement was made up in body odor.And the stinky crowd all seemed to know each other, like it was a birthday party for a bunch of friends that didn't shower that day or have to work the next one. The bartenders were very nice though.

Most of my friends are pretty hippied out, but I'm "bougie" as my friends say. So when I came to visit Portland--a city which has specialty stores to buy all of your new-age alter needs, a city whose population looks like 4 Non Blondes from that "What's going on?" video--I was craving some glamour. Doug Fir isn't South Beach, but thank god it's here.

The decor is posh lodge. The food is really fantastic. The drinks are great. And the place is jaw-droppingly cheap during happy hour. Only downside, from the lounge crowd (I haven't been to the concert venue), it's clearly post-peak. As in, the Saturday night I went it was 2/3 law and medical students and 1/3 not-hot chicks. I even heard the guy next to me tell a girl who looked like she cast spells "Please, I'm begging you to come sit over here." So the jeunesse dorée of Portland have probably moved on--like to California--but at least your chances of having an intellectual conversation are pretty good.

I went to Smart Bar two nights in a row for comparison, and I must say the place is kinda weird, but I really warmed up to it.

Friday night was a ratio of about 85% men to 15% women. There were only three generic club chicks--blondes in skimpy outfits. Most of the crowd was made up of kinda dorky dudes that just happened to love dancing. There was also a nerdy group of 4 or 5 glowstick dancers. I did like whoever was djaying, an Asian chick I think. The whole vibe was unjudgemental, anyone is welcome to just dance and enjoy themselves.

I've really only been out to dance clubs in Miami, so I thought this must have been an anomaly night. Where were the glitzed out bitches and vip booths? Since when did American guys dance instead of drunkenly lusting from the side lines after women in their hotpants and heels?

So I went back Saturday night for Colette's live performance. Even weirder. The entire crowd stood facing her like you do at a concert. She was dressed really conservatively as was the rest of the crowd. I sat on the couch next to a couple that was probably in their sixties. My boyfriend was like "Colette must be their daughter". Either way, the old couple danced like crazy to the next DJ. Again, way more males than females. But none of them were out to boner-grind up on ladies. It was all so safe, so desexualized, so wholesome. Honestly, it felt like a Christian dance party lock-in. And after awhile I thought, ya know what, there's nothing wrong with that.

p.s. The bartender does NOT know how to make a Tom Collins.

A chocolate lover's wet dream.

What a let-down! From dining to decor, Spring kinda sucks actually--especially for what you pay. The interior design is terrible honestly. It looks like a freshman art-school project. It was especially bad from my angled booth seat that had me staring at my boyfriend's head centered between 2 awful collages mounted on a diarrhea-mauve colored wall.

Together we had the Coconut & Lemongrass soup and the Sashimi Yellowtail to start. Soup was okay. Yellowtail was room temp and would have been better chilled. Also ordered the Foie Gras Gyoza. Definitely my favorite thing. My bf had the NY strip. Not special. If you want steak, spend $10 less and go to Tango Sur for a meat&potatoes heaven. I had the Alaskan Halibut and was not motivated to finish it. All and all, if I had made any of that for dinner at home I would have patted myself on the back. But for fine dining, educated cooking? Bleh.

I thought they might have an awesome pastry chef or something and ordered the Malt Chocolate Bar. It was a lot like a desert you buy in a plastic clam-shell container at Dominick's or something. With tip (we did like our server) and 2 glasses of wine, our bill was $200.

The worst part? You know how every now and then you think you really want KFC or White Castle. You devour it and then half an hour later you get that feeling in your stomach. That GROSS feeling. Same thing at Spring, except without the $10 junk-food satisfaction. Save your appetite and your cash for something better folks.

Hidden in a strip mall is a gem of a vet clinic. I was thoroughly impressed and pleased with Animal House. It's very small, but very clean. There isn't a smell in the place. I had a sick hedgehog, and I figured the best I would find is a small animal vet. The receptionist and the vet himself had all owned hedgehogs!

My little guy is being hospitalized for a severe infection of the lungs. The exceptionally friendly staff gave us different options for his care as well as various price estimates on everything. I see that some people have complained about the price, but I have to say that I was surprised by how totally reasonable the costs are. I would definitely recommend this vet to anyone with an exotic pet.

update: On a very sad note my hedgehog died. But I know he got the best possible care in the city.

There aren't many reviews for souvenir shops since Yelp is really for the locals. But when my cousin came to visit, I couldn't find a single decent souvenir store. Thankfully, four people had reviewed this store in the Hancock Building. It's got anything Chicago you would want. Tasteful to cheesy, girly to sporty, kiddy to geeky. I actually bought a tight, girly style hoodie that says Chicago for myself.

I just got home from dinner with two friends at Avec. We arrived at 9:15 and didn't leave the restaurant until midnight. Why? Because we had terrible service. My friends and I are all in our early twenties, and I had a sense that the hostess was skeptical about us since the crowd was mostly 30+ business professionals. After being the last party seated, we are grateful to just be able to sit down and eat. Which takes a while since the service was slow and our waitress apparently did not hear half of our order.
There was some confusion over bringing the dessert as well. On top of all of this--while the food is certainly good--it is far from stellar. Would not go back or recommend.