Amy "shut up, that's why!" K.'s Profile

Having never read or seen the short of "The Wind in the Willows," the ride's story is pretty confusing to me.  Everyone's having fun, then somebody gets in trouble and there's a court hearing, then things go bad.  Bad enough that at the end...you find yourself in Hell.  That area is a bit warmer, and is a welcome treat on cold nights.  Other than that, I always exit wondering what just happened.

It's all about getting a Fast Pass, although at one point on an April Sunday, Jessica H. and I passed by and the wait time said 25 minutes or something startlingly short.

As one of D-land's newer rides (opened in 1995), the Imagineers put time into making the in-line experience pretty neat; stuff carved into the walls in a secret language (see link below for translator), things you can push or pull that result in ceilings moving, unseen people yelling, or other stuff.  You filter past a movie allegedly from decades ago, about the archeologist who found the temple you ride through, the dangers of it, etc.  It's fun getting a background story on the ride.  The line lighting is really dim, and I feel badly for the cast members who are stuck overseeing the line; it must be hard on their eyes.

This ride kinda hurts my back; it's very bumpy, jerks you around, has fast stops and starts, hard turns.  It's fun and the theme is followed extremely well, but by the time I'm done, I feel like I need a rest.  This is a ride definitely meant to scare you: spiders, snakes, rats, poison darts coming your way, skeletons.  I could see kids being frightened, but it's a good time for everyone else.

For fun, here's what the coded writing on the walls throughout the ride translates to: http://www.hiddenmicke...

This was my faaaaavorite ride as a kid; it's a little less exciting now, but I still find it charming.  The wait's never too bad, and the cast members figure out how many people they can let in by handing out wooden black feathers, like Dumbo's lucky charm (I refuse to touch the feathers; ours had gnaw marks on it from some teething child).  Don't stand in my way of getting a purple elephant when you go in the gate.

Every elephant has a different colored costume, the ride itself is multicolored and gilt in gold, and at night - when I usually like to ride - the water is all lit up.  Push your elephant's switch up to go higher, and get a pretty view of the carousel.  Push it down if you're afraid of heights and stay low.  Find a happy midpoint to make everyone happy.  I still think it's magical when I look around and all the elephants are at their highest flying point.  So pretty.  So worth it.

I prefer Disneyland to be as it was when I was a kid, so part of me resents the parking structure instead of the wide expanse of parking lot.  On the other hand, getting the tram from the parking structure is super easy: all the escalators lead to the boarding area.  There's also an elevator for people with strollers, or who otherwise can't go down escalators (folks with strollers who still go down the escalators: please fold your stroller up BEFORE reaching the front of the crowd.  When you don't, it backs EVERYONE up because we're stuck waiting for you.  Avoid those irritated glances by being considerate).

There are two tram waiting areas in the same little plaza, meaning trams arrive/depart twice as fast as they used to, which is nice.  Lines to get into the structure are stupid long if you don't arrive early, and $15 to park your car is  - fun fact! - almost twice the California hourly minimum wage.  Make sure to mark your character level and letter on your parking stub, since you might need it to find your car later.  I haven't seen the line back up to leave the structure at all.  Getting on the freeway after exiting can be confusing, so pay close attention to the signs or I promise you'll end up having to drive around aimlessly to find your onramp.

I took Jessica H. to the Grand Californian to soak in the beautiful lobby and rest our aching feet, and we heard passer-by saying they were going to the bar.  Bar, huh?  

I thought the Hearthstone was nice: dark wood, cozy furniture.  We ended up at a table with a chess board pattern (no box of chess pieces so far as I could see).  The bartender helped us right away and was attentive and friendly.  I got a Shirley Temple and she put in three cherries without my having to ask for extras.  We were also given a little dish of snack mix.  The tables had menus with the drinks and also appetizers; I saw a server carrying something that looked like chocolate cheesecake over to a table, but didn't see it on the menu.

My dainty self managed to knock over my non-alcoholic drink and even smash the glass in the process.  Within 20 seconds, a friendly employee was next to us, asking if I was ok, if I'd like another drink, and cleaning up.  I have NEVER had service like that.

They had some drink in a martini glass that glowed, too.

Jessica H. and I were hungry, cranky, and, well, cranky, and I wanted to see what there was to eat in Critter Country.  We checked the menu at the Hungry Bear, saw a vegetarian option for me, and ordered.

You order at a stand separate from the window where you actually get your food, and the window seemed a bit disorganized, as I don't think any of the customers were instructed exactly where to go.  Jessica didn't think the employees even saw us.  It took a while to get our food, and the folks at the window didn't see we had drinks, so we had to remind them.  I like that there are separate stands where you can get condiments and napkins and cutlery, which saves having to go back to the window when you run out of ketchup.

The confusion of getting our food aside, it was a lovely lunch.  You're sitting right on the Rivers of America, so you can watch the ships and canoes go by, the ducks swimming around, and enjoy a place with a minimum of kids running around screaming.  The restaurant has two levels: the upper one is a patio with canvas covering, so it's not too bright, but still manages to be sunny.  Downstairs has a solid roof, so it's darker, and the restrooms are down there too.  We ate upstairs and consumed way too much fried food: a fried green tomato sandwich, onion rings, and sweet potato fries.

I've never had fried green tomatoes, so I don't know if the sandwich tasted as it's supposed to, but I liked it quite well and could pretend that with all the veggies inside I was eating something vaguely healthy.  Well, other than the large puddle of oil that pooled under my sandwich as I ate it.  I thought the fries were unremarkable.  The onion rings were good, really crunchy, although, unsurprisingly, also super greasy.  One side or the other would have done us fine, and we split the sandwich.  I would definitely go back, and I'm now wiser about the sides.  Oof.

Although $7 seems like a lot, it's really nice not to have to carry around a jacket all day when you know you won't want it until 8pm.  Another great thing about these lockers is that your $7 (and the machine takes credit cards, too) means you can open and close the locker as many times as you want during the day, so for instance, when Jessica H. wanted her sweatshirt, I could still leave my jacket in there without needing more money.  You also get to choose your own combination, so you don't have to worry about losing a key (but pick a combo you can remember).  The lockers would be great if you have kids who might need a change of clothes, snacks, etc., to save you from having to lug everything around.  Another bonus: you can get lockers with chargers for your phone or laptop!  Although I don't understand why you need your laptop at Disneyland, but that's just me.

Oh Disneyland, you think of everything.

I remember going on this as a kid, and then Jessica H. and I hopped aboard last weekend.

This is another good ride for when you've eaten too much fried food and can't stand anything more jostling than slowly moving on flat ground.  You can also use it as transportation around the park, although I'd think it's most useful for that if you have small children who walk slowly; I'm also not sure it can be accessed by the disabled.  The train is a nice ride around the park, a chance to look around, and I like that it takes riders right up against the It's a Small World castle.  On the way from Tomorrowland to Main Street, you get to chug past a lengthy diorama of the Grand Canyon (I think the animals in there are actually taxidermied, not fake), and then!  You're taken back millions of years into the past, when dinosaurs roamed the earth!  Witness a t-rex and a triceratops fight!  See baby pterodactyls!  Marvel at prehistoric plants!

And then exit on Main Street and buy a corndog!

My advice: try and get a train where the benches all face outward; it's much easier to see everything than on the trains where the benches all face forward, especially if you get stuck in the middle.

I don't even care about the animatronics, I like this ride for the jokes.  You never know who your boat captain will be, the jokes s/he will use, or what will be improvised.  Despite the cheesiness of the jokes or the egregious use of puns, I always find myself laughing.  As a kid, a captain once let me steer the boat; sadly, I hadn't realized the boats run on tracks, became afraid I'd run us aground or something, and handed the wheel back over.  Oh young'un Amy K., you messed up!

This is a great smooth ride after you've eaten too much fried food and feel sick.  I generally skip the Jungle Cruise, but it still has a place in my heart...although the colonized-looking guys stuck climbing a pole always make me feel uncomfortable.

Rats, now the song that's the restaurant's namesake is stuck in my head again.

Jessica H. and I stopped in here for something sweet, and I think this is the only place I've seen in the park that serves coffee drinks, not just black coffee.  The baked goods were mostly what you'd expect - cookies, brownies, pie - with a couple surprises, like fancy cupcakes and cheesecake.  The cafe also has soups, sandwiches, and salads.

The cookie was unremarkable, but the cafe isn't: I love the theme.  The windows are stained glass depicting penguin waiters, there are silhouette portraits on the wall of Mary Poppins, Jane, and Michael, the cashiers hold up a penguin paddle when their register is available.  All seating is outside, and you sit under white-and-yellow striped umbrellas.  At night, strings of lights illuminate the patio, and a live ragtime pianist provides music.  I found the atmosphere itself fulfilling, AND it was a decent place to watch the fireworks from, too.

It made me happy just to be sitting there.