Rob K.'s Profile

No, I did not order any dumplings, but I sure wish I did! Those plump beauties looked divine. The gentleman that I shared a table with was a dumpling eating pro. He picked one up with his chopsticks, slurped the juices out, then took a bite. These dumplings respect two bites.

I was alone and my meal choice was quite boring. Sesame chicken was what I craved and it was executed to perfection, along with rice, tea, and soup for under $8. Word of advice, don't come alone.  Come here for a family feast!  Credit card minimum is a whopping $20! Tacky hand written signs are posted on every wall.

Reminds me of that community room in Hostels overseas where vagabonds linger and orchestrate their next big move or recover from their last one. Eclectic art work, books, and magazines are scattered throughout. There are comfortable chairs and tables to spread out your map or laptop and enjoy a coffee and a snack. I generally don't loiter in coffee shops, but I wouldn't feel weird hanging out here.  

There's also a cramped outdoor area where you can get extra cozy with strangers, while admiring the beautifully crafted cat collage. The Roots Cafe makes me want to pull out a map, becomes best friends with a stranger, then hit the road on an epic journey. An iced coffee and a red velvet Twinkie were the perfect late afternoon snack. Bon Voyage!

Shake Shack, or parking lot for a Lexus and Benz dealer? You decide!

When opening a Shake Shack in the suburbs, the following formula should be followed to determine the number of parking spaces:  Shake Shack + Hype - Public Transportation = Parking lot the size of Rhode Island.

Save yourself time and just park across the street at Marshall's. I'm one for four when trying to park in the main lot. I like Shake Shack, but it may not be worth the fatality risk of jay walking across Route 1.

The main reason I stop at this Shake Shack is convenience. It's located closely off exit 19 on I-95. For me, it's a step above all the McDonald's rest stops. The wait is about the same, the bathrooms are cleaner, the meal comes out quicker with less confusion, and staff is much friendlier. In my opinion, the burgers are an upgrade, but the fries are a downgrade, but you can upgrade the downgrade with a hot dog. Now that is something you can't do at MCDS!  

Stopping at Shake Shack is ideal after you've left the NYC traffic or when you are about to enter the traffic.  

By the way, spots did open up after I sat down to eat. Turns out, the high school kids were on their school lunch break. Damn them and their hot cars!  If I was lucky my dad would let me borrow his 1986 Plymouth Voyager for a quick spin to hit up the Wendy's 99 cent menu. The times have changed!

Four stars for an unbeatable location in downtown Portsmouth. Cost varies, but it's a true steal if priced between $135 - $175. Tack on another $15 for valet parking, but there's really no other option. The town is metered or you can use a parking garage.

David at the front desk, along with the valet and other staff at the front were true professionals. Heavy rain kept me in the hotel for breakfast, otherwise Portsmouth has great dining options. The breakfast buffet is a bit overstaffed for a week day. I recommend only one waitress or a robot that pours coffee and delivers checks. The half hour I was there, I observed one working and the other sitting at the table chatting with friends. Once she was finished, I approached her for the check, but felt awful because I interrupted her texting.

Portsmouth is one of my favorite New England cities and a mandatory stop on your way up to Maine!

SLIDE THE FRONT DOOR OPEN YOU MORON!

The cook must be dying to say that to brain dead tourists like myself. You attempt to open the door with the handle. When it doesn't open, you notice the arrow, which I thought pointed to another door on the other side. NOPE!  So, I'm left outside heartbroken and hungry because I think it's closed. I begin to whimper like a dog, until the cook invites me to slide the door open. DUH!

This place must lose a lot of business for that simple reason.

Gilley's 1
Rob 0

I felt defeated.

Inside, it's a lot smaller than you imagine. I thought it was a full scale old fashioned diner. There's a register, grill and kitchen on one side and a tiny area with about eight seats across from that.

Order your greasy food. There's an array of burgers, hot dogs, and fries to choose from.

Reason #2 why I am a tourist. I tried to pick up my chili dog. EH WRONG, that is why they give you a fork. This place is a slop factory and to make matters worse, it's open until 2 a.m. Gilley's is the reason pull out couches were invented because you ain't getting into bed with me tonight hunny.

Gilley's 2
Rob 0

Game over.

A friend told me to go and try the Chicken Parmigiana Hero. Once I bought it, I debated whether or not to feed an entire village. Instead, I decided to eat it over a three day period. When I took it out of my car, I actually confused it for a medicine ball. Slight exaggeration or not, this hero is massive. I've been back several times for eggplant toppers, cold pasta salads, and pizza. I still haven't even made it to the dessert side, which happens to be in a whole other storefront. YELP stole the words right out of my mouth. Woohoo!  As good as it gets!

NOTE:  If you stay at the Hampton Inn and own flannel or dark framed glasses, you have hit the jack pot. This place is two blocks away.

Now why would I say a thing like that.

Well, for starters, The Red Fez doesn't have a sign, which means it's obviously sweet. The YELP cover photo is misleading. All I saw was the number 49 and a menu outside. The two RISD students at the bar were very congratulatory on my exploratory skills.  

It's really dark. I sort of feel like I'm eating dinner in a friend's basement during a power outage and all I can see are the candles illuminating the mounted animals and Lord of the Rings figurines. It has two floors and they play the type of music that hipsters listen to and try to one up each other with their iPod playlists at parties. Once in a while I try to sneak in some early 90's dance music, but noooo...  Imagine if Rhythm Is A Dancer came on at this bar; people might explode.  http://www.youtube.com...

As much as I joke about this place, I'm very much drawn to it. The BBQ Cheeseburger and house pickles were legit. This was the second place today where a burger was served on the softest potato roll in existence. Nice going, Providence!

The menu of comfort food was short and cheap. The full bar had a few solid micro-brews on tap and the Champagne of Beers in a bottle for a cheaper option. Although I did notice that The Red Fez got ROTD today, I surprisingly found this without the help of YELP when I drove into town last night. Good option, instead of all the fancy bigwig bars nearby.

Hats off to you Strange Brew, you truly are a strange place. There are a hundred different beers on tap and that includes the classics. They don't give you a snooty look if you order a Bud Heavy, Silver Bullet, or Pabst Blue Ribbon. Although, it's pretty tough to resist Harpoon Beer at only $2.50 all day, every day. That deal includes all UFO, IPA, and seasonal offerings. On top of that they have 20 beers to choose from for $2 on Tuesdays + $4 burgers on Wednesdays. Wowza! The deals are mind blowing if you aren't used to it. Don't worry big spenders, some of the better brews are still around $6-$8.

It was packed out for a Wednesday night, mostly with college students, but there were some older dudes grumbling about the Bruins game. The bar was clearly overtaken by college students though...

For example, three guys walk up to the bar and order shots of Jagermeister and pound 'em. One guy slams the empty shot glass down and professes, "I love this shit!"  I think that same guy requested "Here Without You" by Three Doors Down.  

Overall, I would go back, especially on a nice day to grab a brew outside.

**Side note. If you are staying at the Hilton Garden Inn, the shuttle driver will take you here and pick you up.  The number is 603-660-2222.

Want to impress a Western New Yorker? Memorize the names of every item on the Gate House menu, then casually mention one in any conversation.

For example, say something like, "How about that Wease?  

Bam, you're in!

People from Rochester are some of the proudest folks that you will come across. Don't you dare insult Wegmans or try to correct someone who says pop instead of soda. I can't wait to take my girlfriend and her family to The Gate House! As proud people from the 585, I will receive serious praise for my sensitivity toward their culture. Every salad, pizza, and burger is named after a landmark or famous Western New Yorker. Not to mention, it's good.

My time at the Gate House was spent alone at the bar, but I noticed the popularity of this restaurant from my stool. They don't take reservations;  groups be ready to chill at the bar or in that mini-mall hallway.

Although they specialize in pizza and burgers, I had the Manhattan Square Salad with spinach, apples, bacon, and avocado. The salad add ons go beyond grilled chicken. Invite some seared ahi tuna, falafel, or Buffalo chicken tenders onto your salad for $5.  

You must promise me one thing...  Please save room for dessert. For five minutes, the bartender disappeared and left everyone hanging at the bar in order to personally make me a peanut butter, Nutella, and banana sundae (see picture). I could've called it a night after the salad, but that would've been way to healthy of me.

If you can stand the wait, there's a great meal in store for your group.

100+ performances later and I have only sat inside once and that was for my high school graduation. With summer rapidly approaching, I reflect on past summers with a smile, as I think about blurry times spent watching concerts from the lawn or slinging frozen pizzas in an oven for Aramark and selling them to concert goers at an outrageous mark-up.

Whether you are from the 518 or here on vacation, everyone should experience SPAC. We all have our favorite SPAC memories (see my Atwood's Tavern review).  For me, I could write a book.  In high school, I ran into my sixth grade teacher  at SPAC and he gave me backstage passes to Journey. On another occasion, I had to bring a Ben and Jerry's ice cream cart backstage for a Phish concert. I guess that's cool if you like Phish or Journey.

Every summer there's always a great variety of entertainment, whether it's big- name acts, classical, NYC ballet, Jazz Fest, etc. The grounds are beautiful and the lawn is on a slope, so you your view won't be obstructed, unless you're in front of a pillar. Either way, big screens are all over, so you will probably end up watching one of those. Don't go to a Dave Mathews Band concert here if you are over the age of 24, unless you have inside seats.

Over the years they are making it harder for concert goers to get rip roaring drunk in the parking lot  and park before concerts. The front parking lots have been opening later and they have really increased the patrols in the park. I feel awful for the youngsters. Only a few year ago it was very lax.  

Are adults still caged in a beer garden at big shows if they want a drink? I haven't been here in a couple years, so I wonder if they let the cattle roam yet?  If not, either watch the show without a drink or just go to a bar in downtown Toga instead.  

Other stuff...

Don't think about pooping in the bathrooms (at big events).

If you get to a major concert late, don't drive north on route nine and try to enter the park that way. You're better off with this short cut:

Get off exit 13 and drive north to the light. Take a left onto Old Post Road at the Stewarts. Drive about a mile and take a right on County Road 45, then a right on Route 50. Soon, you can either turn right into the park or choose one of the big parking lots.