Dan R.'s Profile

It was worth a try.  But I'm already back at Whole Foods.

With a specialty market, it's the little things that make a difference: for instance, when you run (RUN!) to the store to get there before they close at 9:30, and you make it at 9:20, victory!...oh, the doors are locked.  Two employees are there, shaking their heads.  Nope, they aren't staying late.  But I'll let that one go for now.  It's once you're inside the store, amid all those expensive price tags, that things get annoying.  

Perhaps their prices are slightly lower than Whole Foods or Epicure because they don't have as many employees working on the floor.  But I'll GLADLY spend an additional 35 cents for my carrots in exchange for not waiting for 10 damned minutes for some bored employee to shuffle around looking for the plastic lids that fit his container. Hmm, they're not here.  Maybe they're over there.  (shuffle shuffle shufle)  Wait, what number is next?  

OMG.

Despite the hip/cool image of the place, the food in the prepped-food areas isn't organic; it's not particularly good, either.  It's just chicken, cheap pizza, all in pretty boxes.  It doesn't taste like anything special.

This store is just a fancy Publix with a nice aisle of bulk candy.  And as long as the lines are at Publix checkouts, at least it's because there are 4 people ahead of you--not because the cashier needs to make deep sighing sounds every time a new customer comes up, as if being around all that surprise-it's-not-organic food is just exhausting.

Blah.  Not going back.  Food shopping isn't supposed to be aggravating.  No one wants to bring home angry cheese.

I would have enjoyed The Dutch more if that server didn't spend the evening flirting with my dining companion.

We were there late at night, the wine was flowing, the energy of the room was at an excited-murmuring hum.  Our wine was tasty (try the chardonnay, not the pinot grigio!) and the decor has a charming Southern-home-kitchen-meets-Restoration-Hardware vibe.  We sat down, my friend I, engrossed in conversation like two old friends who haven't seen each other in years (we hadn't), and our server popped over to take our orders before leaving us alone.

That's when he came over, batting his eyelashes and saying perkily-cute things.  He acted under the guise of "helping" his co-worker, because you know, we were terribly demanding asking for...nothing.  Nonetheless, he knew how to toss out a one-liner with some zip.  He was funny.  Ten years ago, he was probably the cutest boy in whatever town in Ohio he grew up in.  How charming.  By the way, Mr. Server, I'm sitting here too, this isn't a table for one.

We ordered steaks, and sides, and whatnots for nibbling.  The steaks, marred by the outrageously-high price tags one will find in every other restaurant in South Beach, were very good.  I didn't understand the overly-seasoned sauce on the patatas bravas, but no worries, it was just one side.  We loved the food, we loved the wine, we loved the ambiance of relaxed, late night fun.  Oh and speaking of fun, here comes Mr. Good Times with his eyelashes aflutter and his comments so droll.  Yes we are enjoying our food, thank you Mr. Server.  Oh that's right, you didn't ask me, you just asked my friend, a.k.a. MY DATE.  But I'll respond anyway, it is delicious.  Go away.

How convenient when it came time to take the check--charged to my friend's room, he'll have to say his name AND his room number.  Which server bolted to the table to take the check?  I'll give you three guesses.

What a let-down! I had heard rave reviews for Garcia's: oh the fish is so fresh, it's so amazing, you're not a cool local unless you're in-the-know enough to know to eat there.  So much pressure! We must go!

Really it was unremarkable either way.  Yes it was fresh fish, definitely.  But the smell of the SEWAGE TREATMENT PLANT NEXT DOOR pretty much negated the thrill of eating fresh fish.  Seriously, it's next door.  Sewage.  Treatment.  Plant.  Wafting its sewage-aromas in the air.

Okay, so let's say the sewage is not their fault.  The food: we ordered a whole fried fish, which is really hard to screw up--just dump the fish in the fryer!--but ours showed up dry and burnt, way way way dry and burnt.  Is it "burnt" or "burned"?  I am sticking with "burnt," it's fancier.  And they just dropped it on the table and left us to pull out all the tiny bones ourselves.  For the price, was it about $18 per per plate?, they should've pulled it apart for us...or, like, made it taste good somehow.

The rest of the stuff was okay, but nothing was exciting--smothered in sauce and/or not seasoned, our food came to our table cold.  Again, I totally admit the fish was fresh, but fish is supposed to be fresh if they are going to serve it.  They shouldn't get points for serving food within the standards of the health department.

Blah. Not worth driving aaaaaaaaall the way over there to eat mediocre food.

I needed a radiator repaired on my car.  This is a simple job, $400+ or so.

Their quote: almost $700.  WTF?!?   When they told me the price, they went into a long story on how they got a good deal on buying the radiator, for almost $300.  A radiator for my car, new, costs around $150, plus the other little parts and the cost of labor.  Anyone with access to the internet, or a phone to call Advance Auto Parts, can uncover this information.

So I took my car out of there and went somewhere else.  And yes they charged the $70 or whatever it was to look at the car.  I was content with paying it and bringing my car to another mechanic, I still spent less money in the end.

I went in to Evos wanting to love the place.  A hamburger stand that uses organic ingredients and air-bakes their fries to eliminate trans fats?  Please, let it be good.  I have enough drama in my life, let me eat my lunch with the knowledge that the cows and chickens I am eating led happy lives and aren't storage units of antibiotics and steroids.

Blessed be, the food actually is quite tasty--and not just in a "good for health food" way, it really does taste good.  Wraps, salads, crispy chicken strips that are "air baked" just like the fries--love everything.  Correction: I love ALMOST everything: ironically, the hamburgers at this hamburger restaurant are really bland. So skip them!  I usually get the Spicy Thai Chicken Wrap, with a little extra side of the sauce because it's so darned tasty.

Yes it's a few bucks extra, but I prefer to pay a little extra and not fill myself with chemicals.  My body is my temple.  And I shall pray at the altar of the Spicy Thai Sauce on that chicken wrap, mmmmmmmmmmmm.

I had 2 pairs of boots repaired at this place.  One pair, the better pair, came out looking better than when they were new. The soles are amazing.

I also had a cheap pair of boots repaired; although the expense was more than I actually paid for them, I really like them so I thought it was worth it.  Alas, the soles fell apart after I wore them twice.  I brought them back; they blame the shoe.  I responded, then why did you agree to fix them at all??  They just wanted the money. Boo.

This location of Brickell Shoe Repair is a satellite of the location in (duh) Brickell; the complicated work gets sent over there.  But easy stuff, like shoe straps as well as handbags, etc., will be doctored on site.

P.S.: this place is in the alley behind the health food store.

If you've been following my reviews for any length of time--I am sure you are not, but let's pretend my Yelp profile is a big deal--you are most certainly aware of my single-dish obsession with restaurants.  I go, I give the place one shot; if I like what I order, I go back over and over and partake in only that one dish.  If I don't like it, I never go back.  The only way I try other dishes is if I am with friends who don't stab my hand with their forks when I sample food from their plates.

Last night at 2b Asian, I was at a dinner party where I COULD'VE tried a variety of dishes, as there were many friends in attendance.  But I was far to busy eating my own food to even look around the table.  That never happens.  I always find time to steal from my neighbors.  Last night, my food was that good.

I regret to inform you I don't know what I ate.  It was a Red Snapper fried whole and then disassembled by the chef with the meat on the plate.  There was a sauce involved, spicy and a little sweet.  It was a "chef's special" so it wasn't on the menu.  Wow, it was amazing.

The moral of this story?  I want to go back but they probably won't have that particular fish dish available. That's okay.  I will take a brave step forward and I will try something else.  I have faith that whatever it is, I will like it.

Pros: Mary's does a spectacular job with dry cleaning and professional laundry.  For the prices the charge--$5 to launder a man's shirt, $10 to dry clean--it should be the best.  You get what you pay for.

Cons: The self-serve washing machines...not so much.  I also washed a few small loads of clothes, and I had to run everything a second cycle to rinse out the soap.  They use computerized machines, and none of them worked properly; they all ran at different times, cut off the rinse cycles early, etc.  That was a bummer.

I took one bite of my friend's crème brulée, and I forcefully stole it from her.  Seriously, the best I've had in Miami. C'est magnifique.

I dare say this is the best French bakery anywhere in the Miami area.  Simple items are prepared with the best ingredients: like a ham and cheese croissant, perfectly crisped with sharp cheese atop the delllllllllicious croissant, with just enough ham to be tasty.  It was just as flavorful as the chocolate and almont croissant I had for dessert.  Yeah I ate two croissants and crème brulée, what's it to you?  Don't judge me.

It's just a little space in a mini-mall, but it's definitely worth the drive over.

Nutella crepes with ice cream? Yes please.

French hip-hop blaring on the stereo speakers? Love it.

Owner of the restaurant dancing around the room, while his friends sit around and look cool?  The best part.

Good wine, too.  Of course.  

This place is nifty.  We just had dessert crepes, but the food other people were eating looked delicious.