Andrew "I used to be elite" T.'s Profile

Full disclosure, I know the owners of this spot, and they are wonderful people. That said, they were not present on the day I visited the spa, and this is an unbiased a review as I can give.

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I am not a "spa" guy per se. I like my barber shop, and I like my hole in the wall masseuse, and I've been using the same gel in my hair since 1997. I like to look good (who doesn't), but I like to achieve this with minimal effort and cost.

So when the girlfriend told me that we were hitting up Spa Ni'Joli for a morning full of massages and hair getting-did...ed, I obliged. Why not? Maybe there was something to this spa business. I mean, she always looks great, so I at least know they do good work.

ANYWAYS....

Spa Ni'Joli is laid up right next to a Latitude Sports club, in an unassuming little lot, off of an unassuming little stretch of road in Methuen. But once inside, it's bustling. Clients are being swept over to styling stations (is that what they're called?) or whisked upstairs for nails, and massages, and whatever else women get done at spas, behind closed doors, so that guys will continue to like them.

Our first stop was for a couples massage upstairs. The staff is friendly and efficient, and made me (the lone guy in the place so far as I could tell) super comfortable. We were escorted to the second floor, where the dueling masseuses brought us to a well-appointed room, introduced themselves, and prepped us for a rub-down. Esperanza (sp?) was working on me, and did a great job. I'm pretty inflexible and generally beat up from 25+ years of soccer playing, and she did a good job of working on the tough spots, without making things too painful. To be honest, I felt like she could have pushed me a little bit harder, but I suppose that's personal preference, and if I wanted it to be a bit rougher, I could have said something. Overall, the massage was pretty standard, which was to say it "worked". I was nice and relaxed and feeling good when I popped up off of the table.

Next up was hair time. I was hooked up with Tina, who handles the mane-upkeep on the lovely girlfriend. The deal for the day was, that I had grown out my hair a bit, and had decided to leave what happened next, in Tina's capable hands. Her only directive was to make me look good. Which in theory, was a much more difficult task than is probably reasonable. Tina, as it happens, is a mere hair stylist, not an actual wizard with magical powers.

But Tina was equal to the task. She asked me great questions about what I wanted, and probed for how I handled my daily hair routine (side note - I have no daily hair routine). After she got the info that she needed, it was a flurry of scissors, clippers, combs, and chit-chat. Followed by the great reveal in the mirror, and I was looking good. As good as someone without magical powers, could make me look. Tina even took time to walk me through which "product" to use (that's what girls call hair stuff), and how to use it...which apparently involves more than just mushing it into your hair until you're bored and have to leave for work. I actually learned some things, how about that?

I'm not sure what the total cost was, since the girlfriend paid (thanks!), but I'd imagine all of the pricing is listed on the website, and is probably cheaper than any of the spa's in my Back Bay neighborhood, by an order of magnitude.

So overall, this was a great experience and something I'd definitely do again. Seen through the eyes of a non-spa-going guy, I would say that this is definitely a place worth going with your girlfriend, or even without. It's a spa, but not an overly froufrou one. The decor is classy and sharp, the staff are happy and on point, and as a man, you feel like you're getting pampered and well-taken care of, without being emasculated in any way. Which may sound like an odd thing to worry about, but any guys reading this will know what I'm talking about.

Holy Hell this place is terrible.

Now I have had bad Chinese food, and frankly if you are reviewing a Chinese restaurant, you need to grade on a scale. Taking even that into consideration, this place is awful.

It is LITERALLY outside of my window, it couldn't be any closer, and I will STILL walk somewhere else the next time I need Chinese food.

The wonton soup was cold. Not lukewarm, cold. And it wasn't from the trip home, since again, it is about 14 yards from my front door and I picked up the order. Additionally, the base/stem of the lettuce was in the soup. That big, inedible, root part. That was in the soup. It took up 1/3rd the bowl. At least it occupied space that more cold, rubbery, slimy wontons may have otherwise existed in.

The beef teriyaki bowl was totally inedible. I know the jokes about Chinese "beef", but this set a new standard. It was the first time in a very long time where I legitimately questioned the animal of origin with a piece of meat. Couldn't even finish half of it.

The chicken fingers were passable, but maybe they really sucked more than I realized, but since they were the only edible things in the order, they got a pass. Although they did include about one fluid dram of duck sauce, so I had to choke them down totally dry.

I'd sooner starve to death in my apartment window, while watching people eat at this restaurant than eat here again.

Summed up in one sentence. Above average tapas (not great), very friendly staff, but not worth the wait at all.

They don't take reservations, which means that you should expect a *very* long wait at peak times. We waited 2.5 hours on a Friday night, for the promise of amazing food and the best tapas we would have had in recent memory. While the staff was apologetic for the wait (they must have to apologize a lot), it was downright excessive. There is very little that I would wait that long for, and unfortunately the food at Toro is just not one of those things. After standing outside for most of the night, there was no way the food could possibly live up to the expectations. And it didn't. Not even the corn. That's right, not even the corn.

Now don't get me wrong, the corn was great, but balanced with everything else, it wasn't enough to put me over the top and get me back to Toro anytime soon. The rest of the food was solid, but not as good as I was expecting. Maybe Toro was just the victim of over heightened expectations, but with the exception of the odd dish here and there, I recall having plates of close quality at Dali, Tasca, and Tapeo with less fanfare and certainly less time spent staring at other people eating before I got a chance to sit down.

The other thing that bothered me about Toro was the number of self-important south-end wanna-be hipster-yuppie types that were sucking down PBRs like they had just discovered the anecdote. I mean, are we still doing this? The ironic-cool thing with the PBR? Really? I thought this was replaced with the equally repulsive trend of wearing brightly-colored wayfarer sunglasses 24/7 and pretending it was like, totally normal and stuff. PBR is a fine beer for a backyard BBQ when you just want a real cold-one, but if you are thinking that drinking PBR in a South End tapas restaurant is elevating your level of non-temperature cool, you need be set straight. A good rule of thumb, is that if you can get a t-shirt at Urban Outfitters with a particular beer logo on it, that beer probably isn't consumed for it's quality. Or coolness anymore for that matter.

Short version is, Toro is good. It ain't great. Go on an off day, or super late on a weekend, get some corn, have a cocktail (all of which are pretty decent looking), and then go to one of Ken Oringer's better restaurants.

Fore Street is the restaurant I would create if I were to create a restaurant.

It is housed in an old mill-like building (brick, exposed post and beam, big windows, etc) with a cozy atmosphere made so by the literally open kitchen with roaring fire, and the candle lights at each table. The menu is very extensive, which is usually a turn off for me, but the dishes were organized by cooking style, and even though there were dozens of choices, I found it to be pretty manageable to pour through.

Oh, and when I say literally open kitchen, I mean it. The kitchen is in the middle of the restaurant, and has no walls separating it from the dining area, so it is right out there and allows for total visibility into the cooking process. They also keep all of their produce in a little windowed (presumably chilled) room right off of the kitchen, which really added to the openness of everything in the kitchen area.

The service was spot on and friendly, and the food was fantastic. I opted for a whole black sea bass (head, bones, etc) that was cooked in a lemon/caper/butter sauce which I would have consumed as a cocktail on it's own if it were feasible to do so. The whole dish was absolutely phenomenal.

We finished off with a tart plum pastry with mango sorbet, which combined some flavors that I hadn't had before, but worked wonderfully.

Definitely an excellent dining experience all around.

I am still craving the molasses cookies from this place. We got a small bag of about 6 cookies to take home, and devoured them near immediately. We should have gotten a lot more. They were awesome.

I opted not to get treatment here, so this review is based only on a consultation appointment. I can't vouch for or against their actual services.

The nurse I saw was friendly and pleasant, but that was the only real upside to this place. The big turnoff (aside from the prices, which were way above the other places I've talked to) for me was the desk staff, who seemed completely unaware of the fact that others were in the waiting room, and within earshot, as they openly complained about another patient who had just left.

The woman before me, had printed out a coupon (from the laser center website) which had apparently expired...though again, was still prominently displayed on their website. After begrudgingly agreeing to honor the coupon, the two receptionists proceeded to loudly complain about her after she left, calling her "tacky" and mocking her for wanting to use a coupon that they have on their website. Again, all within about 10 feet of other waiting patients.

Not exactly behavior that makes you want to be a patient here.

I feel like giving the newest Ten Tables location anything less than a perfect, or near perfect score, is going to be looked at as an act of betrayal, but three stars it is.

I am a HUGE fan of Ten Tables in JP. My favorite Boston restaurant, hands down, no contest. So when this new location opened, and WAS ON OPEN TABLE (anyone who has tried to get reservations in JP knows why this is a huge change), we jumped on the chance to dine there.

Having never been to the Craigie Street Bistrot when it was there, I was taken aback by the location. It's in the bottom of an apartment building, in a thoroughly residential area of Cambridge. This means that if you drive (no real nearby T stop), and are not a Cambridge resident, good luck with the parking. Ten tables has 4 spots for cars, and the rest is resident street parking. Since Cambridge residents get one guest parking pass for their guests, there is no need for non-resident parking in heavily residential areas like this. So there is none near this restaurant. Be aware that you'll need to park illegally and take your chances.

So once inside, we noticed some immediate differences in this location. For one, there is actually space to stand inside if you are waiting for your table, unlike in JP where you are either seated, or standing on the sidewalk outside in the cold. Also, fourteen tables at this spot, and no open kitchen, which I really like in JP.

Since this was the second week of operation, there were a lot of noticeable kinks to be worked out. For one, they ran out of menus. As in, we couldn't sit for our 8:30 reservation, despite our table being ready, because there weren't enough menus. Kind of annoying. I'd imagine as a restaurant, you should always have at least as many menus and place settings as you have seats at all times, but what do I know. Our server was great, but slow and easily distracted, and the kitchen was slow as well, even by Ten Tables standards - which apparently was due to a last minute staffing issue.

The food, as expected, was spot on. Expertly prepared, tasty, creative, and totally inexpensive. Our total bill was $100 for the following.

- One steak tartare app
- One scallop entree
- One chicken sausage with duck confit entree
- One bottle of wine ($36)
- One fantastic chocolate terrine and thai basil ice cream dessert.

Take the wine out, and you are having a fantastic, four-star dinner for under $70.

We'll be back, for sure, and probably revise this review to add an extra star or two once things settle down here, but I still have a personal preference for the original JP spot.

I was really surprised to see such a high review of Minibar on here. Maybe we just hit it on a really off night. The lone plusses were the nice modern decor and the friendly service. After that, everything was average to below average.

The crowd was made up of the predictable wanna-be trendy crowd which means slightly older than college aged guys and girls, trying just a little too hard and coming up just a little too short. Not my scene really, and the girls (friends of mine and my girlfriend's) that I was with, were hit on by lots of those trying too hard guys, who...well, all came up a little short. Maybe next time guys!

The space, as I mentioned, was nice and modern. It was well decorated, and the seats we had near the bar were nice and comfortable, and gave us a nice view of the line outside.

Right, the line. I am sure they have a capacity dictated by the fire code, but being inside and noticing how empty the place was, made me feel a bit badly for the people that they were making wait in line Not saying it was unjustified, it just seemed that way. On a side note, I'd never wait in line to go to Minibar. Just sayin.

Last complaint, was no coat check. Now I know not every bar in the city has a coat check, but with a small, upscale bar, connected to a hotel lobby (The Copley Square Hotel), I'd expect there to be a coat check option. The lack of such an option, resulted in nearly everyone there trying to smoosh giant winter coats into small spaces in corners, holding them awkwardly, or bartering with other tables to let them hang the coats on stranger's chairs.

Oh, and one more thing. And this isn't just a Minibar thing, this is one of my biggest current pet peeves when it comes to bars. If you are trying to run a dark, trendy, sophisticated, upscale bar, lose the flat panel tv's over the bar. Aside from totally counteracting your lighting efforts, they come across as totally incongruous with the rest of the atmosphere. If I wanted to watch the Bruins post-game show on NESN, I'd go to one of the billion sports bars a stone's throw away. I'll never understand why every Boston bar feels the need to have these tv's....

EVOO was pretty empty during our Friday night meal, but perhaps the economy is to blame. Who knows.

We had a relatively early reservation and we were promptly seated by the friendly staff, whose service was solid throughout the night. Though we did have to ask for the bread for our table, which was a little bit irritating.

We went for the three course menu with wine pairings for $50pp. Without pairings it was $35pp, and if we did a $35 bottle of wine...well, you get the point. Cheaper and more variety with the tasting and pairings.

The menu is creative, albeit a bit overly wordy. For instance...

"Seared Tequila Soaked Misty Knoll Farm's Chicken Breast  with Roast Pumpkin - Caramelized Onion Enchiladas, Toasted Pumpkin Seeds, Queso Blanco and Apple - Cabbage Salad"

Once you get past the menu translation, the dishes themselves are well done. All contain a healthy helping of  local ingredients applied to standard proteins combining to make creative, but not *always* tasty final products. For instance, the "tempura battered mashed potato maki" that came with my cod sounded far more interesting and appetizing than it was. A+ for creativity, but D- for taste. Something about the seaweed/nori flavor with the mashed potatoes left me picking off the tempura bits and enjoying those on their own, leaving the ocean flavored mash for the rats out back to enjoy later.

Overall, I'd go back. The space was nice, the service was good, and the food was well above average for the modest price. Parking can be a bit tricky if you look on the streets nearby, as most every spot is permit parking for residents. There is however, a small lot adjacent to the building, but be ready to do an eleventeen point turn to get out, as they jam twice as many cars back there as there are meant to be.

Alibi was exactly what I expected it to be. We went with a group on a Saturday night and got there early (7:30) to stake out a spot. Good thing, because by 9, it was packed. You can reserve a table, but to do so, you need to get bottle service which will run you at least $300.

Anyways, pretty standard stuff for this new-ish hotel hotspot. Mostly douchey crowd, dark and cool atmosphere, and pricey drinks ($12-$14 for their signature cocktails, $9+ for regular mixed drinks).

I will say that the service was good, but the drinks were some of the most watered down I've had. I sent back what was supposed to be a vodka cranberry, but was really just a $10 glass of juice, and the waitress didn't give me any attitude about doing so. That said, I'd stick to beer and wine here if you want your money's worth. The mixed drinks all around were terrible and may as well have been virgin.

And although the food comes in from Harvard Gardens (not totally sure why), I defy you to not order the truffle french fries once you pick up the scent coming from another table.

This place is now crossed off of the list. Probably no need to return for a while, if ever.

Oh, and I see 5 "no" votes for a coat check. Not sure why that is. There is a coat check on the second floor in the lobby of the hotel. Maybe it's just not well marked, but it's definitely there.