Patricia B.'s Profile

Welcome to Pat's wonderful review of Chicago's very own Deadwax.  But before I get to aforementioned wonderful review, please allow me to go off on one of my infamous pop culture inspired rants.
 
Okay, here's the deal.   I grew up in the 70's.  (You remember the 70's, right?  The decade of long hair, tight jeans and public buses that smelled like Cheech and Chong's basement!)   Ah, yes, the 70's.  

Ever since I was a wee lass with pigtails, the people who worked in record stores have brought terror to my soul.  Why you may ask?  Well, for as long as I can recall, these guys were often times snotty, know-it-all jackasses suffering from the "rock star" syndrome.  Basically, they acted like they are a million times cooler than the rest of us pitiful mortals.  Record store guys would strike fear into the hearts of helpless kids like me everywhere.  As I would wander the aisles, searching for the latest albums - yes, I said ALBUMS, kiddies - you could just feel the smugness emulating from the record store dudes as they would sneer at my latest selections.  Imagine - I had the actual audacity to want to purchase The Eagles, Styx, REO, Journey and other wonderful bands.   It seemed like  "my" bands were dismissed as "sellout radio top 40 crap," at least in the eyes of the almighty  demigods of vinyl, better known as record store guys.

All these years later, I am still reluctant to walk into a record store because I am afraid I will be approached by one of these people.  OH, wait -  I'm sorry - I forgot that rock star demigods NEVER approach the common man...you must enter the store on hands and knees, begging to be directed toward the "hip, alternative, non corporate radio vomit"  section of the store.  I swear to you, I am convinced that certain record store guys actually made up these bands and artists, simply tossing around names to prove to the world that they are superior to the entire human race.  (Don't believe me?  Walk into a record store.  Go up to Mr. Rock Star.   Mention a totally fabricated band name.  Perhaps it will go something like this:  "Um, pardon me, oh masterful one...do you have the latest CD from the band "Eat my Own Toenails with Mustard?"  They're from New Zealand."  (Quote from Unknown 70's geek)  "Yeah, of course I know who they are!!  How dare you insult me, you frickin' waste of space from the 70's!!"  (record store demigod).

By the way, while we're talking about them,  ff you haven't already, be sure and rent High Fidelity with John Cusack and Jack Black.  This movie pretty much captures the above type of creatures.  With one big exception - the guys I am talking about NEVER looked like the good looking Mr. Cusack!

Anyway, I was writing a review here, correct?  Oh, yes, indeed I was.  Deadwax.  This store is a classic.  The infamous Wilbur is truly what a record store owner should be - friendly, knowledgeable, helpful and ZERO ATTITUDE.  Sure, if you are too cool to check out great deals and nice selections, then please, hop right back into your Beemer  - this is not the store for you.  

My favorite thing about Deadwax would be the AMAZING selection of VHS tapes for dirt cheap (wow, I can actually hear the ultra hip types convulsing all the way over here).  I'm old school, and proud of it.  At Deadwax, I was in Nirvana (the place... not the band) when I gazed upon the hundreds of fabulous VHS titles.  Here's a small idea:   I walked out of there with 'The Song Remains the Same,'  classic ELP and Yes concerts, Pretty in Pink, Airplane, Almost Famous,  the entire Fawlty Towers collection (I was ecstatic over that last one!) and several other tapes for around $20.  Wilbur was so nice he gave me great deals on my purchase.  And he takes the time to talk to you and make you feel comfortable in his store.

Deadwax has a lot of retro vinyl, toys, posters and other items for sale.  It's a small, down-to- earth place,  run by a guy who loves and respects the music.  Please do not let this charming indie place fall into the hands of the cruel big store guys  - some of us really need and appreciate stores like Deadwax.

Have you met Satan?  I did.  You may think that the evil Prince of Darkness lives at Marilyn Manson's house and that he is personally responsible for subjecting the world to the likes of Britney/Lindsay/Paris/Nicole.  (Wait, come to think of it, Satan HAS TO be behind the careers of all those people, right?!)

Anyway, you'll be horrified to hear that Satan is alive and well and living in Chicago.  However instead of carrying around a pitchfork and sporting a red suit, this devil actually wears a dress and works at the Abbott Hotel.

This "woman" is, without question, the living, breathing incarnation of the devil.  I was surprised that she didn't spin her head around and spew forth green vomit.

When you call and try to get simple info about the hotel, you may have your call answered by this woman.  If you get her, expect to be treated to a full-out verbal assault - the kind of attack that you would expect to endure only IF you murdered her entire family in cold blood.  

I had read a couple other reviews (from different web sites) that people tried, unsuccessfully, to speak to this 666 beast, all with terrible results.  She abused them.  She abused me.  She would abuse anyone.  She is an equal opportunity abuser.  (And people say Simon Cowell and Piers Morgan are mean??  Come on, those two guys are angels compared to her (not to mention both men truly know their business and, IMO, are very cute!)

Okay, back to the devil in the blue dress.  Here are my questions: WHY THE HELL DOES THIS WOMAN HAVE A JOB IN THE SERVICE INDUSTRY???  IF SHE IS THE OWNER, WHY DOES SHE GET AWAY WITH THIS CRAP?  In fairness, perhaps the rest of the staff, guests and even the rooms is all fine. I do know this particular hotel has a good number of homeless and poor people residing here, and for that, I applaud this place. Any time people can be given a chance at a better life, that's a wonderful thing. But this particular woman is the real problem.

Now despite her phone tirade, I still gave the hotel another chance.  We decided to go in person to see what was going on at this place. Well, friends, sorry to tell you, that's when IT happened.  A close friend of mine was the victim this time around.  My friend is probably the sweetest, most mild mannered soul around - kind of like a cross between Tom Hanks and Vince Gill). Anyway, my friend walked in the Abbott, asked to see a room and to get pricing and info about the hotel; and then IT happened:  He met THE BEAST IN PERSON.  My unsuspecting friend walked in the door, and sure enough, for no reason at all, she verbally attacked him and threatened to kick him out.   After she went ballistic, she then threatened my friend and actually forced him to leave the hotel immediately!!  His crime?  He gently asked to see a room and for info on staying there.  Yep, he's a real bad ass alright.

Are you planning on staying here?  You better bring a crucifix and be ready for a fight.  I actually have this 'fantasy.'  This is the one time I wish I knew Andrew Dice Clay.  I would call him up and tell him to pay a visit to the Abbott just to meet this spawn of Satan.  I would love to see him go off on her.  But that's not really fair to poor A.D.C. - even ol' Dice would walk away in tears!

Connie Szerszen.  What can I say about a woman that has brought so much joy to my life?

Connie was a disc jockey at WIND here in Chicago in 1973.  Back then, I was a 12 year old girl with goofy pigtails, walls plastered with Donny Osmond posters, and a dream of becoming just like my hero of the airwaves, Connie.  In my eyes, she had the coolest job in the world.  She played rock music and got paid for it!  She attended the hippest parties and rubbed elbows with celebrities.  She made people laugh and forget their troubles for a few hours a day with her Midwestern cornball humor :)

I wanted to be just like Connie Szerszen.  And one day, I got my chance.  It was this lady that became my mentor.  Years later, in 1985, Connie was the one responsible for leading me to my dream job here in Chicago.  To this day, she is still part of my life in some small way and for this, I am grateful.

If you are not familiar with Connie, please visit her websites and get to know this talented professional.  In addition to a long history in radio, she owns a deejay service and is truly one of the most gifted portrait artists I have ever encountered.  For the deejay services, please visit:  http://www.celebritydj...  And to see her amazing portraits, visit:  http://www.prtraits.co...

If you want to hire Connie to either deejay a private function, or for her professional portrait work, make sure you tell her http://Yelp.com and Pat Batson sent you!

If you want to read a story I wrote about my days in radio (the good, bad, and Connie) check out:  http://www.associatedc...

Oprah and her show have done good things for people, and many positive changes have taken place within the lives of families and individuals.  Basically, I have respect for her and think it's great that she has overcome so much in her life.

However the problem with Oprah and her show is the obsession factor.  Oprah is obsessed with power and control and some of her fans are just obsessed with Oprah.

I feel that Oprah seems to love herself too much and must always call out her own alms and good deeds.  The whole world has to know that she's "fabulous" and does "fabulous things."  In reality, in my personal opinion, Oprah has self esteem issues.  Because of her past and the abuse she faced, she now needs constant validation and attention.  She wants to show the world that (they too) can be like her, and control/dominate the universe and feel empowered.  

The problem is that for your average person, Oprah's enormous success, her fame, the fact that she is a multi billionaire and that legions of women and celebrities feel the need to 'worship' her and make her a godlike figure, sets people up for their own hurt and failure.  After all, 99% of us are just regular people, trying our best to lead a normal life.  We will never be Oprah, or have her cash, and it's unfair that people seem to get confused to think she has set some type of standard.  

Oprah is not so much the one to blame - it's her fanatical followers that hang on every word she says and gush over everything she does.  Where does she find these Stepford Wife zombies that fill up the first few rows at her studio?  There they are - eyes glazed over, dressed up in their designer duds and expensive jewels, perfectly manicured nails and plastic smiles gawking at Oprah's every move.  It's just sad.  What baffles me is how she can have millions of people who adore her because she's "real" and "one of them."  Yeah, right.  Forgive me, but I personally have a hard time relating to a woman with servants, several mansions, a private jet and Julia Roberts and Halle Berry as her "best friends."  

For me, Oprah needs to come back down to reality with the rest of the world and remember how hard it can be when you don't have her kind of power and money. And maybe the rest of the world needs to stop putting so much trust and faith in a talk show host.  We need to put things in perspective - she's not God. The last time I checked, she didn't walk on water or raise the dead.  But seeing the way some people get carried away by her every move, you would think otherwise.

Looking for an enjoyable film to rent this weekend?  Have I got a suggestion for you!

When I rented My Date with Drew, I did not know what to expect from this indie documentary about a young man's determination to have one date with the object of his childhood affections, Drew Barrymore. I have to tell you how pleasantly surprised I was that I loved this little film! Within the first few minutes, I was captivated and really cared about these people. On the surface, it seems like a movie about getting a date with a fantasy girl, but for me, I also feel that the movie was about a love affair with the fascinating, sometimes frustrating and painful, but always soul fulfilling world of the artist and dreamer.

This documentary has so much heart, mostly due to the huge charm and dynamic personality of the film maker, Brian Herzlinger. It's hard not to fall in love with Brian as he takes you into his world and reveals his heart and passion. He is a struggling artist, barely making a living in Hollywood. But he is blessed to have some terrific friends and contacts that stand beside him to help him achieve his goals.

In my personal opinion, people who will really love and appreciate My Date with Drew are fellow artists and creative types. We are the ones that often hear "get a real job" or "dreams are for kids." If you are one of those people that had to endure these words, this movie is for you. Artists are unqiue individuals with a whole different mind set. We really see things in a different way. That is why I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. I am just like Brian - a misunderstood dreamer with a youthful spirit and deep passion for the entertainment industry. Flaws and all.

Even if you are not this type of person, or think you will not relate, you should rent My Date with Drew because you will be entertained and definitely have a good time. You'll also be impressed to see that not everyone in Hollywood is fake. The last 15 minutes of this film will have you believing in magic again. Visit the website at http://www.mydatewithd... or stop by your local Blockbuster store to catch this indie charmer.

Welcome to Pat's review.  Let me begin by asking for your patience as I indulge my inner Maya Angelou .  

Chapter One:  This is more than a review.  This is more than a fun time at the Yelp Launch party.  This is a "feel good" story about a woman and her special love connection with local Chicago celebrities.  

Chapter Two:  Our story unfolds as I step into the room to sample some tasty goodies from the Union Park menu (too hungry to wait for the free appetizers from our event, I had dinner here).  I ordered the vegetable panini with sweet potato fries and they were great.  Bob enjoyed his burger (not the $2 one), but a tasty little sirloin baby with some of those same great fries.  I liked their menu and most everything that went past our table looked so tempting as well.

Chapter Three:  I connected with some very cool people including Mr. Yelp himself, Jeremy.  (Warning:  A rarely expressed "kiss up" moment is to follow...) Jeremy was a super nice guy, made everyone feel at home and he sure knows how to throw a launch party.  Thanks, J.S.!!  And it's always a pleasure to see Mr. Moy, Rick, Ellen and our charming hostess with the mostess ladies, Andrea and Elizabeth.  I also enjoyed meeting and making new friends as well.  

The Final Chapter:  If you were there, you know what the final chapter will be.  It's a love story about one Mr. Tommy Hawk, Mr. Southpaw and the always fabulous, Mr. Benny T. Bull.  I send my special words of appreciation to these guys because I, for one, really needed and welcomed their wacky dose of insanity.  After a heartbreaking week for me personally, they made me laugh and forget my troubles.  I needed this party and these lovable creatures to brighten my day.  Thanks to everyone involved for making this happen :)  And a thank you to Union Park and their staff for doing such a good job at making this a special event.

One final thought:  When the movie of this novel known as my review finally hits theaters, I have some casting recommendations.  The roles of the three mascots will be played by John Cusack, Simon Cowell and George Clooney.  Why?  Please... you need to ask?  But the greatest role of all goes to my beloved Robert.  He gets the Academy Award for bringing me a lifetime of love, fun and laughter, supporting me during my pain and sharing 11 years of happy memories.  Thank you, honey.  I'm looking forward to sharing the rest of these chapters of my life with you.  (I thought I would end with the big "Oprah/Dr. Phil" moment, folks).  End of story.

Tonight was the first time I went here and I can tell you that I am now in love!!  The dining room area is very attractive, filled with cowboy type decorations, paintings that look like they're from Gunsmoke or a John Wayne flick, heck even the ladies room had photos of cowgirls.  Yee haw!  

Our server  was a wonderful young man with a great sense of humor (he wanted to take my credit card shopping at the mall down the street...yeah, right.  Like THAT's going to happen, mister :)  I had the chopped steak, mashed potatoes and caesar salad and everything was delicious.  The mashed potatoes, I have to say, are one of the best I have ever tasted.  

Robert had the salmon and sweet potatoes with cinnamon and butter.  Mmmmm.  They had this chocolate dessert that I kept seeing go past my table, it must be a real hit.  I was too full to get any this time, but trust me, I will be back for that baby!  It was a cake with whipped cream and vanilla ice cream and it looked big enough for 2 or 3 people.  I also had the frozen raspberry margarita and it was sooo good.  The only thing was the topping for the chopped steak (the onions and mushrooms with brown gravy) was way too salty.  I heard someone else complain.  But the manager came right to their table and gave them another order.  He also came by our table to introduce himself and see if we were pleased.  Yes, we certainly were, Longhorn!!

It's a party in here and I for one had a good time!  So many shoes, a huge selection of women's classic looks, sandals, dressy pumps and walking shoes.  The day I went (today as a matter of fact)  they had a huge sale on Reeboks ($30 off the price) and a buy one/get one 1/2 off deal on other shoes.  And yes, I did spin the wheel (he let me spin twice because I spent so much money ...yeesh, that credit card company of mine just lit up again :)  Anyway, I got some good prices on quality shoes.  The guy who I think is the manager was very fair and knocked the price off the socks I picked up that day, and he was pleasant enough with me.  It's more of a help yourself kind of set up, but I did need assistance, and all I did was ask at the front counter and someone came out in a few seconds.  I will definitely go back.

Sometimes I just can't take it...I mean if we were any more adorable, any more rockin' cool, (we're talking major Bono/Fonzie/Vinnie Barbarino type of cool) and don't forget the most fun people in the city of Chicago, then I would explode!!  

We are indeed the triple threat of Internet sites. The academy awards of the review world.  We are talking THE "IT" factor.  Yes, we ARE the Chicago Yelp Bunch.

Hugs to all the Chi town Yelpers :)

This is the story of the good, the goofy and the very sweaty.  Well, I'm sure by now you all know that crowds and Pat go together like Ted Nugent and a room full of innocent animals (hey, Ted...just stick to playing guitar.  Leave the frickin' animals alone!!  Go buy your food at Jewel, will ya!!)  Forgive me, people.  That  "Ted makes me rant" moment was brought to you by Patricia B.  Now, back to the review.  

The crowds did frighten me a tiny bit.  I haven't seen that many sweaty bodies crammed into a tight space since I endured the last Snoop Dog video.  I would go back, but definitely at a much calmer day/time.  The happy hour was a lot of fun, and they did provide some tasty food and drinks.  I am also working on forgiving the piano men for not playing our requests for Guns 'n Roses and Aerosmith (hey, I'm guessing screaming guitars do not mix with dueling pianos, am I correct?) but Howl at the Moon is a lot of fun and they work hard to see that everyone is having a good time.  Make sure to get that parking tix (State/Kinzie lot) validated because it's only going to cost you $5.

Special note to my fellow Yelpers.  Thanks again to http://Yelp.com, Andrea, and Elizabeth for another killer happy hour!!  And to my rockin' table mates, Ellen (yes, they DO need screaming guitars and a guy who plays like Slash in there), Rick and his very fun lady friend, George, Kathleen and of course the always amazing Robert for a very fun evening.  I still think our version of 'Satisfaction' was better than Jagger himself!  Keep on rockin' and hope to see you again soon :)