Patrick L.'s Profile

I have this strange love for cafeteria style restaurants. Brennan's in Berkeley, Tad's Steakhouse, Veloce, etc. So when I did a casual search for restaurants in the Potrero Hill area and saw the words "Mariposa Cafeteria" and "Roast Pork," I knew I had found a winner.

One of my co-workers said she wanted to get a salad but I said "Fuck that, no one is getting in the way of my sweet sweet roast pork." We almost didn't go because we kept getting lost (note: turn onto 26th, you can't turn onto 25th and get there). This place is GHETTO and the DIVIEST OF DIVES. It's definitely catered towards the working folk. I shudder to think what their health inspection rating is but goddamn, that doesn't matter because..

THE ROAST PORK OVER RICE IS SO GODDAMN DELICIOUS IT ALMOST MAKES ME  CRY!

The dish is a bit pricey ($7.75) but it could seriously feed two (or three) people. The chunks of pork are huge, flavorful, and covered in spices and gravy. There's also a layer of cabbage to help push the pork through. The Chinese ladies behind the counter looked pissed off and were probably talking about us but I don't really care cause that's how my people roll.

I'm proud that I live in a city with a store where I can buy pirate supplies, specifically a turquoise eye patch for my girlfriend.

Though I think she would have preferred a nude eye patch like the one Colonel Tigh rocks from Battlestar Galactica.

That is all.

I literally lived across the street from Oriental Food To Go but I never called it that. Me and my roommate knew it as "the really cheap Chinese food place run by the nice old Vietnamese couple that'll make anything you want without complaining at all." The decor inside reminds me of my mom's restaurant so the first time I came here, I  stood around in awe reliving my childhood.

I'm not going to say it's the best food in the world but you really can't beat the prices considering its location. I do miss the owner greeting me with a friendly smile. Even though I was a poor college student at the time, I always tipped him well.

My friends who used to live in the city were in town yet they had never experienced the joy of San Tung's chicken wings. PURE BLASPHEMY. So we head on over and grab a great parking spot. But something is amiss...

Me: Wait, where are the people? Where are the lights? WHERE ARE THE CHICKEN WINGS?!

There's a sign that says they'll be closed until April 6th.

OH GOD, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME!!

After I calm down, we head on over to their sister restaurant, So, because I'm a man on a mission. But they're closed too.

OH GOD, WHY ARE YOU PUNISHING ME!!!

Desperate and hungry, we cross over the Golden Gate Park and even farther out into the avenues. I decide that we should go to Shanghai House because it's new, they had great xiao long bao the last time I was there with Ed M, and there wouldn't be a wait.

We're seated and I realize that I don't recognize anything on the menu. Hunan prawns? Garlic eggplant? Where's the hand cut pan fried noodles? WHERE'S MY CHINESE FOOD?!

Shanghai House has two different menus. Me and Mikey the Whitey got the white man menus while Ed (not M) and Kathleen got the menus with the good stuff. Goddamnit.

But oh wait, what's this on the white man menu? Dry fried chicken wings? OH SWEET SWEET IRONY.

I order the dry fried chicken wings and they're DELICIOUS. Crispy and golden sweet on the outside, juicy on the inside. Kathleen even made the bold statement that these might be better than San Tung's chicken wings. I'm still on the fence about it but they were oh so good.

Excellent xiao long bao and dry fried chicken wings without the wait? Oh, I might be in love.

Anyone who knows me knows that I don't get mad about a lot of things. But goddamnit, this vending machine has been PISSING ME OFF.

Last week, I put in a dollar and made my selection for pretzels and nothing. I pressed the coin return and nothing. I am HUNGRY and PISSED.

Just now, I put in 75 cents to get pretzels again. I can see the machine kinda whir and then it dies. I COULD HAVE USED THOSE QUARTERS FOR LAUNDRY!!!

This vending machine is on my shit list. I would love to see this vending machine die a slow painful death.

I have this theory about Chinese restaurants with white female names - they're never very good. Eliza's, Melisa's, and now Becky's. I ended up here with a couple of co-workers from Oakland and I do have to admit that the interior was nice (I guess it was recently remodeled with all the fixin's but it's still the same old food). I got the house special chow mein and there was nothing special about it. I paid $5 for a little bit of chow mein, some rice, and a fried won-ton chip. I think there was an orange slice too.

Oh yeah, the fortune cookie said I was going to suffer long time. Great...

I'm going to go against the grain and give this Sizzler five stars. Not because of its food (guacamole that looks like mold is NOT cool) or the ambiance but because I was able to have a two hour lunch here and discuss the finer points of me and my chinky co-worker pretending to be Vietnamese children by our older white co-worker and having her try to hit on guys at Sizzler with us as a selling point. Because ya know there's a market for older white ladies with adopted Vietnamese children who eat at Sizzler.

I also liked being able to suck Jello out of a straw once again in my life.

While some people think it's insane to have two Target stores within half a mile of each other, I think it's kind of pleasant that no matter if I turn left or right off of the Serramonte Blvd exit, that there's going to be a Target. Kind of like how there are two King of Thai restaurants on Clement, but replace Thai restaurant with a huge store that sells clothes, Vitamin water, tupperware, deodorant and popcorn.

Yes, Target has it ALL.

I don't get how this Target only has 10+ reviews but the one across the freeway has 50+. Is Daly City that much COOLER than Colma?

I've worked around the corner from this place for about two years but only went in for the first time recently. I always imagined the place to be covered in grease and crawling with bugs but it isn't so bad. Still, what it lacks in decor it makes up in quantity. I ordered the Crockery Burger and upgraded to curly fries and what I got back was a burger that was half the size of my head and a pound of curly fries. Considering I only paid $8 for everything and the burger was moist and juicy, it wasn't half bad.

However, I did end up having massive food coma afterwards. Note to self: don't order half a cow for lunch.

Me: Hungry?
Ed M: Nah, going to stay in.
Me: Alright, guess I'll get something from Bay Fung Tong.

(20 minutes later)

Ed M: I'm hungry. I want something warm, like won-ton soup. Ooh, Won-Ton House!
Me: Uh, I'm eating dinner right now.
Ed M: It's so cheap! There's only 3 things over $6. We can go for dinner #2!

Some people may be taken aback by the concept of breakfast/lunch/dinner #1/#2 but I'm not. My mom raised me on lunch #2. She also raised me on midnight dinners. "Hey! Let's go drive 45 minutes for cheap Chinese food at 1AM!" I love my mom.

Me: Ooh, I have been looking for a place that does good won-ton noodle soup.
Ed M: Awesome, pick me up in 20.

Roommate: Hey, they gave me this huge box of curly fries with my fish and chips from Cable Car, do you want some?
Me: Uh, I'm going to dinner #2 soon...
(the smell of curly fries hits my nose)
Me: ME MUST EAT CURLY FRIES NOW!!!!!

I take the box of curly fries and pick up Ed M. I'm thinking "This is pure gluttony. Two Chinese dinners and curly fries. What is wrong with my life?"

We end up getting two won-ton soups (mine with egg noodles, his with rice), fried turnip cake, and dumplings. The won-tons were moist, the broth was hot and flavorful - just like how mom makes it. The turnip cake was really good, considering it was 11PM.

At some point, the waitress took away my chopsticks and I started freaking out and throwing around my arms. They immediately noticed and gave me a new pair. Now THAT'S service.

Our bill came out to $15. This will probably become my new cheap Chinese food place.

My car now smells like curly fries.