Matthew "The Future of America" C.'s Profile

Almost three thousand reviews and they maintain four stars? It's probably because the food just rules that hard. I've had most of the sausages on the menu and have never been let down. I'll refrain from saying this one was better then that one because they are all good. The beer and random soda menu is also just crazy good. Only complaint is the ultra hipster vibe and laptop DJ vibe on the dining room.

The truffle fries are the reason I continue to go, so crisp and full of flavor. Dipping sauces galore only add to that experience.  My favorite moment there was watching a bunch of painters POUNDING super strong beer the size of a fucking work boot as my mom and I ate and drank pints of Pabst. Best fries I have had here in the LA area...best sausages too.

The oysters from the sea food vendor near the bar are super good. Of the oysters I have had here in LA they are up there with Quality Sea Food. Cheap, fresh and packets of hot sauce and lemons provided. Perfect to eat while drinking at the bar in the middle of the market. People watching here is amazing.

The Cajun vendor is good too. The soft shell crab po-boy I had was nice and even authentic compared to my time in NOLA. Have yet to try the crawfish and oysters there. I'm a dummy if I don't also say the Brazillian BBQ place is super bad ass bang for buck shit. It's done on the weight of your plate so be careful but don't be a pussy either.

Farmers markets are all the rage in a sun drenched place like Los Angeles. It seems like every neighborhood worth its weight in organic vegetables has one. But nothing takes the vegan cake like the Hollywood farmers market. For one, it's directly across the street from Amoeba records and the movie theatre so it's just made for a full-on Sunday exercise in time wasting.

Yet I am here to write about two vendors...neither of which I know the name of. There's a guy, usually near the Trader Joes alley, that has the most kick ass hummus, pesto and random dipping sauces known to mankind. Everything he sells could make your chips, burgers, chicken and all-around life better. BUT let's focus on what life is all about...oysters.

According to La Weekly I am eating Carlsbad oysters from southern California. Those oysters are good, if not kind of small, love them and wonder if its true. All I know is that two guys stand there and shuck fresh as can be oysters for you at $2 a pop. Sure, kind of pricey but you are on the sidewalk in fucking Hollywood so there is MUCH worse things you could spend your money on. And these oysters are FRESH, like they just took them out of the ocean while nursing their Saturday night hangovers fresh. They give you some lemon slices and Tapatio packets and then pure pleasure hits.  Is that a wave I tase? Oysters...

Super good and authentic Cuban food. Dudes on the truck are really nice and approachable too. I have to say the plantains are my favorite thing here...seems like a simple, if not cop-out, answer to whats really good but I think they are truly fantastic. All the sandwiches I have tried were good too. On par with the stellar Café Tropical as far as good Cuban stuff in LA.

Plus I bet you a six pack that if you go at night, they will be drinking beers inside the truck. You dont have to tell me, I can smell my own.

Heard a lot about it being the real deal slum bar of downtown LA and, being from Cleveland and knowing a thing or six about slumming it, I had to come. Sadly, I was already fully in the bag and I don't remember much other than really wanting some of their super cheap food (just because) and smoking in a glass enclosure as homeless people paraded by outside (fucking awesome-this alone is four star worthy).

I don't remember it being as cheap as people have noted on Yelp. Maybe they saw through me and knew I would pay whatever cost to have another unneeded beer. I do remember the bathroom being kind of gnarly in the usual "piss in a trough" kind of way. All in all I think it's a fine way to kill Sunday.

I know it's pointless to chime in because everyone knows Quality Seafood totally rules and, if you like shell fish, this is a must stop destination in Los Angeles. But, to hell with it, I just started yelping again after two years and I'm going for it.

This is what I think a seafood restraint should be from the outdoor picnic tables and the plastic cups of draft beer right down to the begging sea gulls and the tanks of live lobster and crab. The Redondo Beach pier leaves nothing to be desired on my end: tacky sports bars, whale watching boats and a real live arcade with a god damn Tilt-A-Whirl inside. But, who am I kidding, it's ALL about Quality Seafood and their oysters and beer.

$1 can buy you mystery bags of smoked fish and I suggest this is how you start out as you roam the fish market and, eventually, hit the real-deal raw area where plenty of fresh and very ALIVE sea creatures await your mouth and belly. My love belongs to oysters and they have a huge variety here and all of them are as fresh as can be. Ask the shuckers what's what and then dig in to a platter. They will also steam lobster, crab and clams to order for you. And, if you feel like a real oceanic warrior, have them snap the head off a sea urchin for you so you can dip your fingers into that thing.

Seriously, eating the oysters here is like tongue kissing the meaning of life.

This is heaven. Don't step foot inside unless you are willing to die from happiness and live here forever.

First and maybe most important, the beer comes in mugs so cold ice is floating inside. Tons of sake. Ok, so we are drunk now. The best yakitori in LA is now in need of ordering. Chicken heart, Japanese beef, chicken skin, bacon wrapped okra, monk fish liver. Keep going until the bill hits $100 or more and then regret your choices on a full stomach. It's all good. Maybe after the tenth skewer things start to taste the same...who cares, everything tastes great so it's a win/win.

Even the ramen is good on a rare chilly LA night...with hot sake.

This was a hidden little gem for me during my last stay in Philly. The burgers are so good I found myself moved to eat three in one week. I thought about them every afternoon...they lured me in like a fiend and pushed me to drink beer and get stupid day drunk. I really loved them. The one with house pickled jalapenos and French brie was a mind blower and cooked just right.

The bartender was super nice too, offering me the daily news paper each time I came. She even offered every one at the bar some baked pumpkin seeds she had brought from home. Easily my favorite place in Philadelphia.

I've been on a food truck binge for the past week. It's taken me on day trips to the miracle mile and downtown and LA. I even held in a massive piss grab something outside of Good Luck Bar.

Flying Pig was a choice I made on the fly. I didn't want to spend much cash but still wanted a soda ($1.50 for a can... boo) so I went with the pork belly slider.

It was good. Not great. Nothing really jumped out at me with this. It looked very nice as the photos online could prove. I don't know. Still waiting for a food truck to come out of the gate and blow my mind.

For years, while training in the state of the art Cleveland All-Pro Wrestling facilities, I would pass Bank News and wonder what kind of strange pornographic wonderland lived inside that unassuming building on the always sketchy Clark Avenue. It had to be filled with smut, I thought. I was right but what I did not know is that it is also always full of amazing lit magazines, a huge selection of music, horror and sports magazines, and dozens of other publications that push the use of paper to further extremes.

Plus there's those weird nazi books, books about handguns, porno comic books,  porno graphic novels, porno movies and a library of porno mags.

I, for once, was right.

And you're going to look a little scummy no matter what you leave with thanks to those anonymous brown bags they give you. Trust me, nine times out of ten I had an issue of Classic Rock magazine and Writers Digest inside of mine. Nine times out of ten.