scott "ghetto food-court" k.'s Profile

Sausage Rolls!!!!!
Delicious Scottish Sausage Rolls!

The Crack of the food world!

I love the broody English feel of the bar and the over abundance of outdoor seating. Great specials, and plenty of room for a large group... if I lived closer, I think we'd have a contender!

If you've never been before, give the wannabe football hooligans in the corner plenty of space.  Sure it's slightly menacing... but that's kinda the places charm.

Oh, and guys... I mean that in the nice way... um... like in the way that you wish you could be in England at a game... not that your a bunch of posers. That's not what I mean! That would be the opposite of what I mean!

Um... so to clarify... please do not place my open mouth on the curb and knock my jaw off by stepping on the back of my head!

Keep Calm and Carry On!

First... some numbers in our story of woe...

2 of us.
2 waitresses.
6 other customers in the store.
10 minutes before our waitress told us they were out of hashbrowns.
15 before our waitress told us she would be with us in a second.
20 minutes before she actually was.
25 lbs of garbage on the floor, right behind the counter.

Time looses meaning and the beat goes on...

"Darlin, I'm just wrapping up the last customer and I'll be right with you" Her cigarette charred throat attempted to sing, but only managed to rasp the words.

A single customer pays $13 in small change and her frustration and jittery nature are amplified when he neglects to leave a tip.  She turns to us, and our bodies stiffen in hopes of giving our order, when she happily reminds us, "We're out of hashbrowns, so you won't be getting any of those today."

Noticeable amounts of time pass before the second waitress starts to berate the cook about his bad hearing. Her face red with exhaustion she pushed her battle into his grease soiled tank top... his hulking body sulking at the onslaught, this is far from humanities proudest moment.

Now thoroughly uncomfortable... we push on.

"Cherry Cokes please." honestly happy to finally be ordering.

The drinks come red as blood, thick with syrup. She looks at us with a resolved and practiced nonchalance I thought only four star generals could muster and in that raspy voice she says, "Never could get the concentration of syrup right in those things." Then without offering to dilute our gelatinous beverages, disappears... one can only assume, to smoke more crack.

We choke down part of our drinks and she comes over to take our order, which naturally can only be accomplished with the maximum amount of drama before....

Cue the low flying Lockheed Martin C-130J Super Hercules military transport aircraft!

The world turns and spins...

We jump out of our seats, and leave a big tip...

Out of pity.

I now lovingly refer to this branch of Waffle House as "Satan's Foothold."

Steer Clear.

(If you can.)

The clouds part and Scott bellows the words....

"My friend went to the piano; spun the stool
A little higher; left his pipe to cool;
Picked up a fat green volume from the chest;
And propped it open.
Whitely without rest,
His fingers swept the keys that flashed like swords,
. . . And to the brute drums of barbarian hordes,
Roaring and thunderous and weapon-bare,
An army stormed the bastions of the air!
Dreadful with banners, fire to slay and parch,
Marching together as the lightnings march,
And swift as storm-clouds. Brazen helms and cars
Clanged to a fierce resurgence of old wars
Above the screaming horns. In state they passed,
Trampling and splendid on and sought the vast --
Rending the darkness like a leaping knife,
The flame, the noble pageant of our life!
The burning seal that stamps man's high indenture
To vain attempt and most forlorn adventure;
Romance, and purple seas, and toppling towns,
And the wind's valiance crying o'er the downs;
That nerves the silly hand, the feeble brain,
From the loose net of words to deeds again
And to all courage! Perilous and sharp
The last chord shook me as wind shakes a harp!
. . . And my friend swung round on his stool, and from gods we were men,
"How pretty!" we said; and went on with our talk again."

("Music" by Stephen Vincent Benet)

That's right... you've just been poemed!

I dare someone to call that number...

A server named Roy saw that my cell phone had been left at the table and carried it across two... count them... two... parking lots to bring it to me!

So beyond the call of duty that it falls into the "selfless act" category!

Beyond my singular positive experience at the Midtown Tavern, lets get into the rest of this review shall we?

Word on the street is that it's one of the best Karaoke spots in the city, which was quickly evidenced by the stream of gorgeous people who came through the door at 10pm on a Wednesday! Holy Mother of Fudge if I didn't have a religious experience when an extraordinary redhead got up to sing Alanis Morissette... (A musician that would normally make me come out bearing a weapon!) Her rendition was proof of the magic of Karaoke... the terrible, terrible magic of it.

My brother ordered a burger, and I have to admit... it was deep with flavor and high art in presentation! Homemade bun, juicy meat, and fresh crisp lettuce... it was really beyond what I would have expected.  All topped off with Buttery crispy fries I would consider dangerous in greater number.

The space itself is boring and rectangular with all the neon bar signs and charm of a strip mall bar... but when I dug a little deeper, I saw how the Midtown Tavern has it's day in the sun. It's the people that make it work... and I have the feeling it works often.

I will be back.

So a naked man runs up behind me with an inside-out gorilla mask on, screaming "Booga Booga Booga!"
To which I calmly respond...
"Now THAT'S a scary naked man."

Then he runs away.

This was the least interesting thing that happened to me at Drive Invasion this year!

The music lineup was spectacular! Elvis's ex-girlfriend Wanda Jackson rocked the house, and Los Straight Jackets ended the music portion of the night with a Rockabillysurferpunk bang!

For those of you that have never been, it's a free for all nuthouse! Illegal fireworks, 1960's Grindhouse, tricked out bikes, mountains of cheap booze, vintage rat-rods, hot Rockabilly girls with a "crap ton" of  chaos and mayhem sprinkled on top!

Next Years Theme Should Be...

"Bring your kids if you could live without them!"

I never thought I would enjoy seeing Darth Vader make out with Wolverine as much as I did! But for that matter,  I honestly didn't think seeing a guy dressed as Batman standing on the roof of the Hyatt Regency could be as awe inspiring as it was... but there it is!

Dragoncon is truly a beautiful thing!  

It was all but  impossible to avoid soaking up some of the endless exuberant  energy coming off the rivers of people flowing all around us! Throngs of smiling  faces everywhere I looked and I don't care what you think of me for saying it... I loved it!

An Interesting Side Note: I met the man who runs "Birds of Dragoncon" an entire website devoted to... well... it's best if you see for yourself...  here's the cast of T.A.P.S. contributing to the site!

http://www.birdsofdrag...

Seriously... what's not to love!

The stars are for the Ribs!

Smoky flavor jetting straight through the meat, landing onto my taste buds and then making a crash landing deep inside the pleasure centers of my brain!

Thank god my brain makes for a soft landing...

I've been up to Fernbank a couple times now, and as Natural History Museums go this one is a real gem! It's just the right size and offers a little bit for everyone!
Atlanta values their children and this is evident in all of it's public spaces, Fernbank is no exception with it's three rooms of activities for children (and playful adults).
There are eight permanent exhibitions at Fernbank but my favorite is the "Reflections in Culture" exhibition. A room filled with the interesting, outrageous and bizarre artifacts and costumes various cultures adorn themselves in. I was surprised to see a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes, and some other designer items. The display pointed out the strange behavior of Western cultures who adore themselves with branding to show wealth and status, even though the actual items are made out of low value materials like plastic.

A wonderful space for children and adults alike. If you haven't been, go!

OK...

Here's what you're going to need...

"...two bags of grass, seventy-
five pellets of mescaline, five
sheets of high powered blotter
acid, a salt shaker half full of
cocaine, a whole galaxy of multi-
colored uppers, downers, screamers,
laughers... Also a quart of tequila,
a quart of rum, a case of beer, a
pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls."

Then and only then, will you be able to walk into this place and not feel like you just time traveled back to 1967.... well... that's not necessarily true... what I mean to say is... you just won't care.

Sadly, I didn't have an arsenal of drugs at my disposal, so I did care!

I cared that half the room had a beehive, and that the splitting image of Elvis tried to stare me down!

I do care that my food was a throwback to the days when salt was the only flavor enhancer at a chefs disposal and a salad was just iceberg lettuce and Thousand Island dressing!

But most of all I care that this quaint little tribute to an era, long gone, is now surrounded on all sides by strip clubs, head shops, and open air prostitution!

Ew, with salty "ew" sauce all over it!

(The two stars are for the staff who were great!)