karen "vanilla bean" c.'s Profile

2.5 Stars, actually.

Rooms are clean. However, they are the size of what you'd get if you were on a cruise. We're talking open-arms-touch-one-wall-touch-the-other-wall small. (okay, that's a slight exaggeration-a queen-sized bed fits in the room, but that's about it.

I banged my head on the tv mounted to the wall shimmie-ing from bed to bathroom/door at least 50 times in a 24 hour period.

The most redeeming part of the hotel is its location. Located a hop, skip and jump away from the theater district, central park, the Time Warner Building, and multiple trains to get where you're going.

PS-what's up with the window between the bathroom/bedroom. Do you really need to see that much of the person you're with? Methinks not.

Hotel Room/Bar Review 3.5 Stars rounded up just for fun:

Hotel:
Check-in *almost* ruffled my feathers. Arrived early and at first they were huffy about the 4pm check-in policy (it was noon when I arrived), but I came all the way from Boston and was in no mood for buffoonery. I think the FD agent noticed and wanted to be spared from my jet lagged wrath. Magically, a clean room opened up and  I checked in.

The room itself was comfortable-the bed was okay-not the best, not the worst. The room was clean and modern. The mini bar had lots of yummy stuff and the prices were "reasonable" for minibar food. The bathroom was clean and well-lit (important when you're a girl otherwise makeup application can result in something scary).

The view I had was absolutely incredible. This was my first trip to California and it was certainly done right-the balcony overlooking the beach gave me the most gorgeous view. I had an amazing view of the sunrise and the sunset. If you're going to stay here, stay in an ocean-facing room. Otherwise, you might be overlooking the glamorous parking lot/sushi restaurant/mexican place across the street.

Bar:
Good, stiff drinks. Service was a little spotty, but not bad-a little inattentive, but pleasant. Happy Hour specials are a good deal. The people watching is entertaining to say the least and you can catch the sunset.

Cheese is a controlled substance, as far as I'm concerned. And if there were cheese dealers I could call up on a Friday/Saturday night and have my drug of choice delivered right to my door, well....I'd probably be so fat that I'd never be able to leave the house again.

I have dreams of cheese. In the morning I want it on my toast. In the afternoon, I want it on my salad. In the evening I want it on meat. And late at night, I wouldn't mind it on my lover. That is NOT a breadstick in the fondue, baby.  *tires screech* Did I just say that OUT LOUD? Yeah, I did. Next topic.

The South End Formaggio is everything I dreamed of in a cheese shop-it's well-edited, easy to navigate, and there are SO many things to choose from, like delicious mustards, olives, nuts, meats (sausage, ham, prosciutto, etc), sandwiches, beer, wine, and then....

As if I were not already hot and bothered by the cheeses, there are SWEETS! My 2nd favorite thing in the world. Marzipan candies, dark chocolate cranberry clusters, Petite Fours, French macaroons, marshmallows made from scratch, jelly candies, and chocolates from LA Burdick's (the cute little mice!!!!) ~(__)8-

I could not resist. I left with a slab of goat cheese, which went atop fresh bruchetta, a bottle of white wine, a large Petite Four, and 2 marzipan candies. The prices were reasonable-yes, more expensive than Kraft Singles for all your cheapos out there, but you are paying for a specialty product. I went home, opened up my jeans to avoid denim combustion, and ate to my heart's content. You have not seen the last of me, Formaggio!

I love this store. I used to work here many, many, many moons ago and the clientele is the nicest out of any store I ever worked out. Now that I'm all grown up, I spend a *LOT* of time here-I'm studying for the LSAT's and I am here every day for many hours a day.

The staff here is quick, attentive, and they have awesome memories-after a few trips here, they already remember my drink (venti chai tea w/2 tea bags + room for soy milk), my name, and that I'm studying for the LSAT's. I think this means that I need a life...and that I'm tipping adequately :)

Today marked a critical point in my life. Today defines time as I know it
BSB (before sticky bun)
ASB (after sticky bun)

BSB, I thought that all sticky buns tasted like Cinnabon. Was I wrong or WHAT! All sticky buns are not created equal, my friends. This sticky bun was dense, sweet, sticky, caramel-y delicious in ways that I have never imagined. I'd been hearing friends RAVE about them and I would scoff....sometimes GUFFAW, even, at the way the talked about sticky buns as if they were tantric sex. But now I know what's up.

These buns are worth getting out of bed early for. It is convenient that Flour is most easily accessible by foot from my apartment, and the mile plus that my ass has to walk there makes the consumption all the more sweet, as every step I take brings me closer and closer and closer to sticky bun heaven.

I also have a confession to make.... *OINK ALERT!*

I could could not stop myself at the sticky bun. I saw donuts and I *had* to have one of those, too. I had a vanilla creme donut and it was HEAVENLY! Fatness insanity at its best, I tell ya. I waited for the initial sugar high of the sticky bun to wear off and then I took another hit and after my diabetic coma, I awoke to find myself wearing a strange white jacket, feeling euphoric and repeating the words "flour" over and over again. The nice people at McLean let me out of the pretty white coat I was wearing and then I ran all the way back to Flour for more screaming "SICKY BUNS" all the way down Mass Ave.

ADIDAS-all day I dream about sugar!!!!

As a former New Yorker, it is my civic duty to eat brunch on Sundays. No, not because the fantastic foursome of our generation lovingly inhales brunch while discussing items, like blow jobs, love drama, bad outfits, and career problems a la "Sex and the City." I've been eating brunch since my post-hebrew school days when my Nanny Tootsie would take me out for bagels and lox. That bitch used to try to get me drunk off her mimosas at the brunch buffet. "Your orange juice tastes funny, Nanna!" I'd always say.

And so many, many years later, Sundays mean one thing and one thing only to me: BRUNCH! When friends asked if I wanted to go to brunch, my response was "Does the Pope like to pray?!" Sunday comes around, and my heart is aflutter with the thoughts of eggs benedict, bloody mary's, burgers, or whatever my tummy desires upon viewing the menu. This particular brunch called for a burger, and oh what a burger it was. 1/2 lb burger + shoestring fries. Holy happy belly.

The burger was well-seasoned, and the bun was thick enough to stand up to the 1/2 of meat without being too bread-y. My burger was slightly overcooked (I ordered it medium, it came out with no pink left in it, but oh well-it did not break the brunching experience for me).

The service was really attentive and I loved the whole PJ thing they had going on, although I will say that it got me a little excited. Or maybe that was just the bloody mary.

My ass has never been more pleased than it was the moment I parked it in a chair that costs 15K.

Let us preface this by saying I know NOTHING about interior design/furniture/labels/etc. BUT-to me, the showroom looks more like a gallery space at MoMa (and I love MoMa), and I should probably not have been allowed to touch ANYTHING, because I am a natural-born spaz, but there I was touching and playing with everything, including the ceiling-to-floor length chandelier made of Swarovski crystals.

When I win the lotto or discover that I really WAS adopted and my REAL family are gazillionaires in the olive oil industry from Sicily, I will buy one...no, TWO of everything!

Have you ever found a place that, when you enter it, makes you sigh and say "ahhh, this is home"? The Oak Bar and I fell in love at first sight. No, I was not wearing vodka goggles at the time (I saved them for later). This is ultimate Boston experience-history, class, timeless architecture, and wonderful food + drinks.

Whether you are coming here with colleagues, friends, on a date, or to watch whatever game is playing, the Oak Bar is appropriate for any situation. I've been at the Oak Bar in a suit, on a first date, with my friends, alone, and various occasions in between. I imagine that if there were a perfect, timeless place to be proposed to (riiiight..maybe in my next life), the Oak Bar would be it.

The room is perfect for people watching-no matter where you sit, you have the a view of the entire room. That being said, if you want privacy and the ability to carry on an intimate conversation, you absolutely have the ability to tuck yourselves away in a corner. Canoodling is encouraged here, as far as I'm concerned. And I do so, throwing caution to the wind.

Minus 1 star for the service-I've been here several times and the service is extremely difficult to track down (Hi, I'd like another $20 martini if that's not too much trouble?!), they're not very knowledgeable, and you could easily go through 3 different servers in one visit.

However-
The food is delicious-recommendations include: the soft pretzel, the warm seafood platter, the shrimp cocktail, and the spinach dip. The drinks are "pricey," but you are not only paying for the beverage-you're getting a piece of history, a beautiful setting, live music, multiple tv's with sports games (but note: this is *NOT* a sports bar), and the ambiance of the Oak Bar, so forget your Amex statement, grab your sweetie, order a Kettle 1 martini ice cold up with a twist, hold hands, and canoodle till the cows come home.

Empty on a Thursday night. I smell doom.

If I wanted to eat shrimp that were clearly frozen and then thawed during the cooking process and smothered in butter, I would've gone to red lobster.

If I wanted overcooked blanched carrots, I would have called my Aunt Debbie to bring over her staple carrot dish that she makes *EVERY* thanksgiving. Thank god those were free from the chef.

And if I wanted to eat street meat (disguised as sausage on an overdone crouton), I would've gotten on the Bolt Bus to NYC and had a $3 hot dog.

And if I wanted to go deaf in the bathroom from the blaring music I would've called up my gay boyfriends and gone to Machine.

The food was absolutely horrid. Inedible college dining room food. But I never spent $85 in the dining hall. Thank goodness the company I was with distracted from the atrociousness of the food.

Note: they do not have a full liquor license-beer/wine/cordials only.
FAIL!

I'd sworn off Greek restaurants, because I like to hold grudges. I've been wronged by many a Greek restaurant in Astoria (read: I have been shoved in the corner a la Rosa Parks for not being Greek).

HOWEVER
Akti changed the way I've snarled/growled/stuck my claws out at the Greeks by providing amazingly hospitable service, delicious food (and LOTS of it).

Went in one night and although I am not a seasoned Greek food eater, I was feeling adventerous. My counterpart was, as well, so we ordered....I can't remember the name of it, but it's $35/person and you get a sampling of about 20 dishes, which is an incredible way to learn about a type of cuisine. I wish ALL restaurants did this.

It went from cold appetizers (lots of hummus/red caviar dip, cucumber dips, etc) all served with pita. Then, we moved on to hot dishes, including fried cheese, mussels, fries with sea salts, fried fish, and more. We were SO STUFFED by the end of the meal I thought I was going to barf, but that didn't sound like such a bad idea at the time, bc then there would've been room for more food.

It's more than enough food for a table for 4, but unfortunately, you'll pay the $35/person regardless. It's still a good deal. The food is fresh, delicious, and the service is great.