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Joel "Downtown (but confusingly doesn't go downtown)" S.'s Profile

Photo of Joel S.

"Everyone needs to drive a vehicle, even the very tall. This was the largest auto I could afford."

Elite 2009

profile votes icon Review votes:
98 Useful, 79 Funny, and 62 Cool

Location

Chicago, IL

Yelping Since

December 2006

Things I Love

elitism

Find Me In

Andersonville

My Hometown

Chicago, IL

My Blog Or Website

http://downtownjoel.bl.../

When I'm Not Yelping...

industrialist

Why You Should Read My Reviews

I'm smrt

My Second Favorite Website

http://www.twoplustwo.com

The Last Great Book I Read

Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell

My First Concert

Probably some basement punk show circa 1993

My Favorite Movie

North By Northwest

My Last Meal On Earth

Augustiner Edelstoff Beer - 5 liters will do

Don't Tell Anyone Else But...

I, David Cross -- me, not the character ... am bald.

Current Crush

Grape (eat it, Pineapple)

Recent Reviews

118 Reviews

Filter by: Location   Category
1747 N Damen Avenue
Chicago, IL 60647
(773) 489-1747

Hot Chocolate  

Categories: American (Traditional), Desserts, Mexican
Neighborhood: Wicker Park

2 star rating
 10/16/2009  
Meh I should have paid attention to the "get food elsewhere and dessert here" posts.  Brunch was underwhelming.

We felt jammed in next to the register/server station... one of those tables that just shouldn't be there.  

Sandwiches took forever to come out and were just ok.  

And nittiest of nit-picks:  French presses are awesome for coffee, I get it.  And I use a french press at home, but apparently whoever designed the idea here doesn't, because coffee should be poured out of a french press when it's brewed, not left to sit... I poured one very small cup of coffee, and the rest of the coffee in the french press, that they just leave sitting on your table, was ruined.  Jeeze, I have turned into such a snob!  Oh well.

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3763 N Southport Avenue
Chicago, IL 60613
(773) 477-5466

Tango Sur  

Categories: Steakhouses, Argentine
Neighborhood: Lakeview

4 star rating
 10/16/2009  
Everyone has pretty much covered most everything about this place, but I can't emphasize enough how awesome it is to get the bill here.  Having just enjoyed a super nice bottle of wine (that we brought ourselves, BYO obv) and enjoyed all the steak you can possibly eat, leaving for around $50 just makes you feel awesome.

Oh yeah, delicious food and great ambiance too.  But the bill... great for cheapskates like me.

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4159 N Western
Chicago, IL 60686
(773) 929-5111

O'Fame - CLOSED 

Category: Pizza
Neighborhood: North Center

2 star rating
 Update - 9/29/2009  
And... they are out of business.  Wonderful, awesome 5-star pizza with horrible customer service.  Wins every time.  Sigh... they will be missed.

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1 Previous Review: Hide »

  • 2 star rating
    8/16/2008

    Editing my previous 5-star review...

    I love love love love love their pizza, but they give us a super hard time and high delivery charge for delivering 1.9 miles from their place... come on, this is not that far O'Fame!  Takes about 5 minutes by car.  

    That, and they also gave us a hard time when we ordered a 14" pizza and they called to say they were out of 14" pans, and then got mad when we cancelled.  No hard feelings, O'Fame, I love you guys but we just wanted a bigger pizza for the group we were with, and they didn't offer a good alternative.  Also, you are a pizza place, get some more pans.

    I'll pick up from in here in 6 months or so, but O'Fame you are getting a time out!

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1375 W Lake St
Chicago, IL 60607
(312) 666-6775

Bottom Lounge  

Categories: Music Venues, Lounges, American (New)
Neighborhoods: West Loop, Near West Side

1 star rating
 9/29/2009  
I ordered one $4 beer and 2 glasses of water that came in plastic cups.  

I paid with a $10.  I got $2 back and the bartender walked away.  

Using the principles of detection, I have arrived at the following conclusion:  they charged me $2/ea for cups of water that I watched them pour from pitchers that they filled from the tap.  Even though I also got a drink.

To spite the system, or because of shock and being a good tipper, I left the $2, but

WTF?

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510 Village Center Dr
Burr Ridge, IL 60527
(630) 887-0123

Cooper's  Hawk Winery & Restaurant  

Categories: American (Traditional), Wineries

2 star rating
 9/29/2009  
This place feels like a chain... chain, chain I know your name.  

And that name is Cooper's Hawk.  The entry has an upscale Cracker Barrel/Cheesecake Factory vibe to it, where you can shop for gifts, wine, cheesecake lollipops and whatnot.  At the table they try to sell you on their wine club, which I think is tacky.  Our waiter annoyed me in general, actually - his folksy charm didn't jive with the atmosphere at all, and I just thought he sounded dumb and uneducated about food and wine in general (which is normally fine, I'm no expert either but if you don't know what you're talking about then don't give your opinion over and over to make it obvious).  

Otherwise the food was ok, but didn't really stand out and took quite a while to come out.  There's just nothing special about this place.  Maybe if you've never had good wine or been to a winery before, then the novelty of wine tasting could be worth it.  Otherwise, skip it.

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1321 W Grand Ave
Chicago, IL 60622
(312) 226-2625

Coalfire Pizza  

Category: Pizza
Neighborhoods: West Loop, Near West Side

4 star rating
 9/29/2009  
Customer service as good as the pizza... they told us we'd have to wait, we waited and said no problem, and then they kept apologizing for the wait, with a smile we said no problem again, and they gave us a small free dessert!  Cool, thanks!

As far as the pizza goes, it ranks up there with the best Chicago has to offer at its other thin-crust joints.  I won't attempt to rank it among all the great options we have here, but if I'm in the mood for pizza and hitting up something in this area, you can bet I'll be back to Coalfire.

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2119 W Irving Park Road
Chicago, IL 60618
(773) 478-7915

Laschet's Inn  

Categories: German, Pubs
Neighborhood: North Center

4 star rating
 9/21/2009  
Any place that can serve me a fresh draft of a German beer is going to be pretty high on my list... any place that can serve tons of German beer like here, very high!  

The food was good, huge and mostly German (with some weird non-german bar items thrown in).  When the sausage plate app came to our table I literally exclaimed "Haha that is awesome!!!" The Wiener Schnitzel was passable - I'd probably order it again.  

Downside: the bathrooms were right on top of  our table, and someone dropped a nasty D during our meal.  I can't really think of a worse scenario.  Ugh.  Someone could have knifed me, I guess.  Overall the place is sorta old and crummongy inside, and when it doesn't smell like crap, it's probably part of the charm.  Overall, I would go back here but try not to sit by the restrooms.  It's a small place, and I think I'll be back to drink some Bier.

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449 N Clark St
Chicago, IL 60654
(312) 334-3688

XOCO  

Categories: Mexican, Breakfast & Brunch
Neighborhoods: Near North Side, River North

3 star rating
 9/14/2009  
Had the same experience as a below poster - I was warned about the spiciness of ordering the cochinita pibil torta "hot," yet I found it not too spicy at all, but nonetheless pretty tasty.  Was disappointed that they were out of my first choice of torta - they explained they were busy (hmm I could have predicted this, though I am not a master business chef giant!).

I would check out XOCO when there's not a line... maybe for a late lunch or breakfast on a weekday.  It was good, but not worth a long wait... or any wait at all.... I'm guessing that is what the concept is, and in fact it will be a very cool option once the initial hype dies down.  

If you're a little more daring and willing to wander out of River North, just hit up a mom and pop taqueria (I'm guessing Rick Bayless wouldn't object to this idea) or if you're going to wait anyway, wait for Frontera.

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405 1st St W
Sonoma, CA 95476
(707) 996-3030

El Dorado Kitchen  

Category: American (New)

4 star rating
 7/27/2009  
Surprisingly enjoyed my dinner here more than my dinner across the street at TG&TF, which is otherwise one of my favorite places (or more specifically, patios).

The layout here is very airy and open and lodge-like.   I can't say that I usually like places with this kind of style, but there was a more modern edge to it that made it enjoyable and not stodgy.  Interesting to see the communal table in the center, so popular here in Chicago.  

We started with the cheese tasting that offered all of the cheeses, had the bacon wrapped pork main-course.  Nothing stood out as spectacular, but everything was solid.  The small item that put the meal over the top were the truffle fries.  Delicious and addictive, we had to force ourselves to stop eating them as the portion in this case was huge.  

Stuck with just a 1/2 bottle of wine since we were both running the half-marathon the next morning - always appreciate that option on the menu.  Unfortunately it wasn't so memorable that I even remember what it was...  oh well!  

All in all, I thought this was a great and relaxing place to dine downtown, and I'd gladly return.

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5910 N Broadway St
Chicago, IL 60660
(773) 275-2696

Moody's Pub  

Categories: Pubs, Restaurants
Neighborhood: Edgewater

2 star rating
 7/27/2009  
This was a great place to come and have a relaxing summer evening last night.  The key is to go with the expectation that you will have really, really slow service.  For instance, the table behind us got up and left the restaurant literally 30 seconds before their food arrived, presumably because they had been waiting such a long time (which I think spurred our waitress to get our food out more quickly, so thanks!).  

Our waitress was clearly over busy and also completely socially inept and almost unable to communicate...  Also, a low-talker!  Although I guess I would be scared of the customers too if I worked here.  

The thing is, the food just isn't that good that people make it out to be.  The cheeseburger is just ok, onion rings were over cooked and the beer selection is super-meh.  So why put up with bad service to get this food?  I'm not sure.  Maybe you love places that look like the early 70s?

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