Ben R.'s Profile

This Pizza Orgasmica sucks balls. You would think at 11:55am, five minutes before "lunch time" they would have some fresh pizza ready. Not the case here. I ordered two of their specialty slices, only to find that they didn't have either of them. The people I was with ordered some other slices and they were out of those too. So all six of the first menu items weren't available five minutes before noon. If I owned a place called Pizza Orgasmica, I would at least have the one menu item called Pizza Orgasmica, available at all times no matter what. But hey, who orders ACTUAL PIZZA at a pizza restaurant? Needless to say the hours old stale slices we all got sucked. Get on it PO, your other location has their shit together. Your location could be a lunch time gold mine if your food, service, ambiance, seating arrangement, price, signage, menu, and timing were dialed in. Step it up dogs! Your striped shirt clientle, has been waiting for the "Douchiest Pizza in Town" to come to where they work so they can be super-douchey all day for every meal! Make it happen!

P.S.- I was flaccid the entire time.

Austin's is tucked away in a nice little spot near the Hyatt at Incline Village. We sat outside and the weather was phenomenal. The food on the other hand wasn't GREAT, but it wasn't horrible (not even a hint close to Town Hall as mentioned in an earlier review). There were tons of flies, I can't blame them for that, and a huge dog that looked like a Black Bear lumbering through the dining space outside. Thankfully, I like dogs. It has the small town charm of Lake Tahoe, a kind of "we could really give a shit about being fancy" attitude, which i love. Everything was tasty, but the prices seemed a bit high for the quality of food that was presented. We got some weird thick, jelly like "balsamic vinaigrette" dressing which we were too scared to touch. Which I found weird because salads are their "thing". They did actually take it off the bill, so that was great. Service was excellent as well. Overall a great little spot for the very casual lunch or dinner crowd. No breakfast though. I would come back just to see that 500 pound dog crawling around. It was pretty intense.

Also known as the "Spankenwangen", Spindleshanks really shines on the North Shore of Tahoe. My beef fillet was perfectly cooked and was seasoned amazingly. Every other dish that was ordered was pretty amazing. The pork loin with chile relleno was spectacular, maybe the best relleno I've EVER had. The shrimp in the Scampi Linguini was a little overcooked, and they used spaghetti, instead of linguini, and a little bland. But who orders pasta anyway? Losers. They had run out of a lot of stuff, like sea bass, which I would have liked to try, but that's OK because I can see why. The food was superb.

I just about came when I bit into my Garlic Cheese Steak. The fresh, straight-outta-Philly soft rolls, perfectly cooked meat, grilled onions, white American cheese, whole roasted garlic cloves, grilled with the meat. Close to perfection. The fries needed a little help, but it didn't matter after tasting this heavenly sandwich. Cheap, great food, I'm glad I stumbled upon it. One small pocket of sunshine in the frozen black culinary wasteland hell known as Walnut Creek.

For all the HYPE this place is getting it was pretty underwhelming for me. I stood in line for about an hour and then waited another 45 minutes to get my food. I love food, and waiting this long in line usually gets me pretty pumped for something awesome. I was waiting for this amazing money shot orgasmic payoff when i finally bit into this thing with a "cheese skirt" (crispy grilled cheese hanging off the edges of the burger). But it didn't happen. The meat was frozen, the bun was hard, cheese was overpowering, and my little cardboard bowl was almost filled with a 1/2 inch of grease. Just not the "best burger I've ever had in life." Everyone in line was talking about seeing this place on the Food Network, blah blah blah, or they were locals and come here everyday, and it's totally busy all the time...yada yada. Whatever dude. Why are you standing in line for hours for a mediocre cheeseburger that gives you wicked urgent bowel movements? It was not as amazing as every says it is. The highlights for me were: the french fries, totally amazing, ALMOST worth waiting the 14 hours in line for. The pickles on the burger, and the ice in the drinks. That's about it. If i wanted to sit next to some nasty fat Sacramentan, scarfing down a "Double Squeeze" I would just, well come here. That's about the only thing going for it. It is unique, and for being in the butt fuck middle of nowhere in South Sacramento, it's pretty good. But definitely not a destination spot. This just adds to my previous hypothesis that Sac people need to get out more and have no idea what good food really is. I almost want to erect a restaurant next door to the "Squeeze Inn" and call it the "Actually Tastes Good Inn". Then we would see who's line everyone would be standing in... Sorry Squeeze Inn, you just didn't do it for me.

So I had just arrived from Houston...and within minutes I was headed to T-Rex. I didn't have a chance to visit "Thelma Bar-B-Q" while in TX, so I needed my spicy/savory/smokey fix. T-Rex throws it down pretty hard. I think you could even say they are "dropping the hammer" on BBQ in the East Bay (compared to E&J's and that one place right up the street on San Pablo). Everything is delish and it's even all hippied out and organic (Berkeley) which I found a bit of an oxymoron. Do hippies eat this much dead cow and pig? I could really give a crap what it is, how it died, and if it ate organic wheat-grass for it's entire existence, as long as it tastes good. But I can appreciate the concern. Sides were all phenomenal, especially the cornbread soaking in maple syrup. So congrats T-Rex for breaking off some down home BBQ the way it should be, TASTEE. Your restaurant also doesn't look like the backroom of a Mississippi poker club with no running water, one flickering fluorescent light, and a swamp cooler running at full speed, which I guess is OK, but there is a certain charm in eating BBQ in your grammy's kitchen.

Bank was extraordinary. First of all the service was basically the best I've ever had anywhere, ever. Yes, this is a bold statement, but it's true. We arrived in the late afternoon and were starving and late for a meeting. We were seated immediately, by the super-awesome host and asked how we were, where we were from, etc. Some true southern hospitality, I was already impressed. We ordered and informed them that were were in a huge hurry, and they said that they would tell the kitchen. As we sat, taking in the gorgeous architecture and furnishings, I felt as though i was in New York on the set of a movie, in a scene set at a fancy restaurant. Our food came out in a flash, thanks again to our host who "made things happen". I had their "full prime" burger with homemade everything (bun, cheese, pickles, ketchup mayonnaise, etc.). As soon as I bit into it, it had instantly made it's way into my top 10 best burgers of all time. The fries were just as good, top ten material. I can't wait to come back to Houston just for this restaurant, and I HATE coming to Houston, that's how good it was. I was dreaming about it as I went to sleep that night. Finally a reason for me to be excited about downtown Houston.

The Icon is by far the best hotel that I have ever stayed at in Houston. Since I was in the "Dirty South", I figured I would make the most of my short stay here on business. I felt like a "Baller" as soon as I walked in, taking in all of the "Fresh" decor. The front desk was totally "Pimp" as it was in front of a giant 1900's bank vault. Service was extraordinarily "Fly" and "Dope" all at the same time. They really "Hooked me up" with some "Slammin'" service. As I "C-walked" up to my "Crib" I was blown away by how "Blinged-out" it was! The building was very interesting as it used to be an old bank, and the rooms were super "Crunk". We had an all day meeting in the Board Room upstairs and they totally "Threw some D's on" the service for our large group. The food was excellent, the servers attentive, and the locale comfortable. I would definitely stay here any time I am forced to come back to Houston. The one request they couldn't fulfill was the constant refilling of my "Iced-out Pimp Goblet", but I can understand as there were plenty of other "Trap stars" to take care of. They made my "City-bitch-ass" feel like a "Dirty South Playa" in the "H-town hood" in no time! "Props" Icon!

Best bread in life. What about Boudins? Whack. Parisian? Closed. Acme? Overpriced Hippie crap. Genova basically has French/Italian bread on lock down. You can't phase it. They been baking some of the best bread ever since 1904. Most restaurants that know what they are doing in Stockton serve it, everyone who lives in Stockton loves it. I can't say enough about it, just try it for yourself, and you'll see what I'm talking about.

A stunning example of "found art". Created by a gentleman who had been instructed to clean up all the "cans" in his front yard, decided to defy convention and recycle by creating this masterpiece of roadside art. Interesting enough to drive by, but a little too creepy to get out and look at. Have fun!